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78c67e8
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Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK?
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Woody Allen |
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cceb6dd
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices...
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Woody Allen |
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5673702
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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: Frequently there must be a beverage.
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killing
food
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Woody Allen |
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08d2f97
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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Woody Allen |
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8537dbc
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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perfection
reality
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Woody Allen |
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af39fc5
|
Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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Woody Allen |
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190b315
|
Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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Woody Allen |
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d0a9aab
|
I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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Woody Allen |
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bfb0796
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich."
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specialists
feathers
zurich
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Woody Allen |
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8c7db60
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Mankind is facing a crossroad - one road leads to despair and utter hopelessness and the other to total extinction - I sincerely hope you graduates choose the right road
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Woody Allen |
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4e424e9
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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marriage
humor
love
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Woody Allen |
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8a8e202
|
She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
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Woody Allen |
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9051273
|
It was great seeing Annie again. I realised what a terrific person she was and how fun it was just knowing her. And I thought of that old joke, you know. The guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken." and the doctor says, "well, why don't you turn him in?" and the guy says, "I would, but o need the eggs." Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships. You know, they're to..
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Woody Allen |
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40a0967
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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Woody Allen |
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38e3075
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It was one of those great spring days, it was Sunday, and you knew summer would be coming soon. And I remember that morning Dorrie and I had gone for a walk in the park and come back to the apartment. We were just sort of sitting around and I put on a record of Louie Armstrong, which was music I grew up with, and it was very, very pretty, and I happened to glance over and I saw Dorrie sitting there. And I remember thinking to myself how ter..
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Woody Allen |
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27a93af
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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
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Woody Allen |
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7ddb18b
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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Woody Allen |
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670b092
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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Woody Allen |
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9be0bcc
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I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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films
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Woody Allen |
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f19cc0f
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So then, what do you believe in?
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Woody Allen |
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c30f435
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I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?' I said, 'I wanted this girl and she left me.' And he said,'Well, we have to look into that.' And I said, 'There's nothing to look into! I wanted her and she left me.' And he said, 'Well, why are you feeling so intense?' And I said, 'Cause I want the girl!' And he said, 'What's underneath it?' And I said, ..
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funny
humor
film
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Woody Allen |
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ce99bc7
|
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.'
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vicky
christina
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Woody Allen |
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adee34c
|
Kugelmass, unaware of this catastrophe, had his own problems. He had not been thrust into , or into any other novel, for that matter. He had been projected into an old textbook, , and was running for his life over a barren, rocky terrain as the word ("to have") - a large and hairy irregular verb - raced after him on its spindly legs." --
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Woody Allen |
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01e73db
|
End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it. Penelope and Javier anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them.
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Woody Allen |
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648b889
|
No, no, because she's a mental adolescent, and being romantic,
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woody-allen
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Woody Allen |
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e7a7705
|
Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison." -- "If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists"
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Woody Allen |
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7842c42
|
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better, [Cloquet thought,] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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sleep
good
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Woody Allen |
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0ffb396
|
zndgy hmynh dygh! mthl qmrkhwnh my mwnh. my bry , my bzy. wly akhrsh hmyshh qmrkhwnh s khh brndh nhy'yh w yn m`ny sh yn nyst khh bh tw khwsh ngdhshth.
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Woody Allen |
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7059c18
|
One day about a month ago, I really hit bottom. You know, I just felt that in a Godless universe, I didn't want to go on living. Now I happen to own this rifle, which I loaded, believe it or not, and pressed it to my forehead. And I remember thinking, at the time, I'm gonna kill myself. Then I thought, what if I'm wrong? What if there is a God? I mean, after all, nobody really knows that. But then I thought, no, you know, maybe is not good ..
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suicide
nihilism
existentialism
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Woody Allen |
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bc34c65
|
I was in bed at my beach house, but could not sleep because of some fried chicken in the icebox that I felt entitled to. I waited till my wife dropped off, and tiptoed into the kitchen. I remembered looking at the clock. It was precisely four-fifteen. I'm quite certain of this, because our kitchen clock has not worked in twenty-one years and is always at that time. I also noticed that our dog, Judas, was acting funny. He was sanding up on h..
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Woody Allen |
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9090049
|
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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Woody Allen |
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fa37732
|
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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death
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Woody Allen |
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d22019d
|
These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks, he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks, Freud would let you treat him, and that included a choice of any two vegetables. Thirty dollars an hour! Fifty dollars an hour! The Kaiser only got twelve and a quarter for being Kaiser! And he had to walk to work! And the length of treatment! Two years! Five years! I..
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Woody Allen |
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7087737
|
In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
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Woody Allen |
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6cbb395
|
Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollock, isn't it? Museum Girl: Yes, it is. Allan: What does it say to you? Museum Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absu..
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Woody Allen |
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48380c3
|
What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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Woody Allen |
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f4a1acf
|
Raining. Oh, brother, a scratch on the fender. Damn rabbi on his unicycle.
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Woody Allen |
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1d1d273
|
rsty adm bhtr st dl ddh bshd y dl dr? gr khlstrwl tn bly shshSd st, hych khdm. lbth mrdm z `shq, `shq rmntykh st, `shq byn zn w mrd, nh byn mdr w frznd, y psr bchh w sgsh, y byn dw sr pyshkhdmt. nkhth y shgft awr yn khh wqty khsy `shq st, wyr awz khwndn drd. byd bh hr qymty shdh drbrbr yn khshsh mqwmt khnd. hmchnyn mrqb bshd khh Hrf hy `shqnh sh twsT jwnn khwn grm bSwrt tSnyf dr nyyd.
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Woody Allen |
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53c4158
|
But it was I, yes I, who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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Woody Allen |
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1d4d9b8
|
He's dreaming, Cloquet thought, as he stood over him, revolver in hand. He's dreaming, and I exist in reality. Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak.
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Woody Allen |
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0022767
|
True, science has conquered many diseases, broken the genetic code, and even placed human beings on the moon, and yet when a man of eighty is left in a room with two eighteen-year-old cocktail waitresses nothing happens.
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Woody Allen |
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44e39c0
|
Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
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humor
god-s-will
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Woody Allen |
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aeb84ed
|
Seja como for, as pessoas dedicadas a religiao nao querem reconhecer a realidade que contradiz o seu conto de fadas. Se realmente vivermos num universo sem Deus, elas perdem o emprego. O fluxo de dinheiro estagna. Por outro lado, ha pessoas que escolhem viver a sua vida de uma forma completamente egocentrica e homicida. Essas sentem que, se nada importa e elas podem fazer o que querem sem sofrer consequeencias, vao faze-lo. Mas tambem podem..
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humor
inspirational
meaning-of-life
|
Woody Allen |
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46d2ad6
|
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better [...] while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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irony-of-life
|
Woody Allen |