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9fe654b
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God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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64a6282
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"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see..." "You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?" "No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people." "Odd," said Arthur, "I thought you said it was a democracy." "I did," said Ford. "It is." "So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn't sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don't people get rid of the lizards?" "It honestly doesn't occur to them," said Ford. "They've all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they've voted in more or less approximates to the government they want." "You mean they actually vote for the lizards?" "Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course." "But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?" "Because if they didn't vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?" "What?" "I said," said Ford, with an increasing air of urgency creeping into his voice, "have you got any gin?" "I'll look. Tell me about the lizards." Ford shrugged again. "Some people say that the lizards are the best thing that ever happenned to them," he said. "They're completely wrong of course, completely and utterly wrong, but someone's got to say it." "But that's terrible," said Arthur. "Listen, bud," said Ford, "if I had one Altairian dollar for every time I heard one bit of the Universe look at another bit of the Universe and say 'That's terrible' I wouldn't be sitting here like a lemon looking for a gin."
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democracy
ford-prefect
h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
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Douglas Adams |
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6754385
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The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch?
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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
lunch
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Douglas Adams |
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9c876fd
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One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so--but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence, the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous.
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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
intelligence
stupidity
trillian
zaphod-beeblebrox
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Douglas Adams |
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a82ab23
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Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
life
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Douglas Adams |
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d2f0901
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"The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline."
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
marvin
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Douglas Adams |
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dabb607
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Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for his own, three times over, [Marvin] was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby. Marvin droned, He paused to gather the artistic and emotional strength to tackle the next verse.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
marvin
sci-fi
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Douglas Adams |
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89560c9
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If you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty beach robe you would then have something which didn't exactly look like John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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d0cca0e
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Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans so much.
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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
marvin
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Douglas Adams |
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e41e7c5
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It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
logic
wonko-the-sane
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Douglas Adams |
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6e1660c
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A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board. Frantic inquiries led to the discovery that he was standing on a beach on Santraginus V over a hundred light years away where, he claimed, he had been happy for over half an hour now and had found a small stone that would be his friend.
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happiness
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
logic
music
rock-stars
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Douglas Adams |
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051bffb
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Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy.
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
humor
humour
science-fiction
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Douglas Adams |
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fdc24a7
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There was a terribly ghastly silence. There was a terribly ghastly noise. There was a terribly ghastly silence.
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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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81c34c8
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"Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine."
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h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
marvin
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Douglas Adams |
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06fa495
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Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life. And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractables, whereupon he was aken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.
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biro
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
hitchiker
humor
pens
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Douglas Adams |
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c13aeb0
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He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe.
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cornflakes
fish
h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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81161ef
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He stretched, ate his last bite of fungal curds, drank the dregs of something not entirely unlike coffee, and headed out to keep peace in wartime.
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hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
reference
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James S.A. Corey |