e4496b0
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Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.
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humor
hygiene
heroes-of-olympus
percy-jackson
percy-jackson-and-the-olympians
the-mark-of-athena
horses
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Rick Riordan |
57c8f11
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There is a lot of folklore about equestrian statues, especially the ones with riders on them. There is said to be a code in the number and placement of the horse's hooves: If one of the horse's hooves is in the air, the rider was wounded in battle; two legs in the air means that the rider was killed in battle; three legs in the air indicates that the rider got lost on the way to the battle; and four legs in the air means that the sculptor was very, very clever. Five legs in the air means that there's probably at least one other horse standing behind the horse you're looking at; and the rider lying on the ground with his horse lying on top of him with all four legs in the air means that the rider was either a very incompetent horseman or owned a very bad-tempered horse.
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humor
horses
statues
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Terry Pratchett |
fb18056
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If not for the horses, Piper would've died.
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piper-mclean
percy-jackson-and-the-olympians
the-mark-of-athena
horses
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Rick Riordan |
45e6faa
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Horses are of a breed unique to Fantasyland. They are capable of galloping full-tilt all day without a rest. Sometimes they do not require food or water. They never cast shoes, go lame or put their hooves down holes, except when the Management deems it necessary, as when the forces of the Dark Lord are only half an hour behind. They never otherwise stumble. Nor do they ever make life difficult for Tourists by biting or kicking their riders or one another. They never resist being mounted or blow out so that their girths slip, or do any of the other things that make horses so chancy in this world. For instance, they never shy and seldom whinny or demand sugar at inopportune moments. But for some reason you cannot hold a conversation while riding them. If you want to say anything to another Tourist (or vice versa), both of you will have to rein to a stop and stand staring out over a valley while you talk. Apart from this inexplicable quirk, horses can be used just like bicycles, and usually are. Much research into how these exemplary animals come to exist has resulted in the following: no mare ever comes into season on the Tour and no stallion ever shows an interest in a mare; and few horses are described as geldings. It therefore seems probable that they breed by pollination. This theory seems to account for everything, since it is clear that the creatures do behave more like vegetables than mammals. Nomads appears to have a monopoly on horse-breeding. They alone possess the secret of how to pollinate them.
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humor
horses
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Diana Wynne Jones |
c25bf1e
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Employers are like horses -- they require management.
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management
horses
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P.G. Wodehouse |
27f830b
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But what truly horsey girls discover in the end is that boyfriends, husbands, children, and careers are the substitute-for horses
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horses
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Jane Smiley |
1b2c1d0
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Horses were never wrong. They always did what they did for a reason, and it was up to you to figure it out.
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life
reasons
choices
horses
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Jeannette Walls |
a25ec83
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, my mortal father used to say, .
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wishes
horses
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Holly Black |
55b8719
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Horses are calmer people. They also don't throw things at cats.
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humour
faithful
moonlight
horses
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Tamora Pierce (Author) |
4bfc054
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"[Babbington] "What did [the Doctor, Stephen] do to you, sir?" [Captain Aubrey] "Well, I am ashamed to say he took a pistol-ball out of the small of my back. It must have been when I turned to hail for more hands- thank God I did not. At the time I thought it was one of those vile horses that were capering about abaft the wheel." "Oh, sir, surely a horse would never have fired off a pistol?"
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wounds
horses
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Patrick O'Brian |
a4ba178
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"Let me drive," she said, reaching for the reins. He turned to her in disbelief. "This is a phaeton, not a single-horse wagon." Sophie fought the urge to throttle him. His nose was running, his eyes were red, he couldn't stop coughing, and still he found the energy to act like an arrogant peacock. "I assure you," she said slowly, "that I know how to drive a team of horses."
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sophie
horses
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Julia Quinn |
6509196
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He moved quickly away from her through the ring, his whole body starting forward with the big animal in two-point and then -- the horse's legs extended before and behind her, a carousel pony but real, the immense thrust invisible to anyone but the boy on the creature's back -- he was rising, rising, rising. . . And aloft.
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horses
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Chris Bohjalian |
626963d
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By midmorning eight of the horses stood tied and the other eight were wilder than deer, scattering along the fence and bunching and running in a rising sea of dust as the day warmed, coming to reckon slowly with the remorselessness of this rendering of their fluid and collective selves into that condition of separate and helpless paralysis which seemed to be among them like a creeping plague.
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west
horses
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Cormac McCarthy |
80a72e9
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Jimmy held on to the reins for dear life, and thought that a horse was about the most slippery creature to sit on that he had ever met. He slithered first one way and then another, and at last he slid off altogether and landed with a bump on the ground. Sticky Stanley and Lotta held on to one another and laughed till the tears ran down their faces. They thought it was the funniest sight in the world to see poor Jimmy slipping about on the solemn, cantering horse.
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reins
slippery
horseback-riding
laughing
humourous
horses
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Enid Blyton |
0e760f6
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A lack of communication with horses has impeded human progress, said Abrenuncio. If we ever broke down the barriers, we could produce the centaur
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humor
horses
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Gabriel García Márquez |
725b3df
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"I must purchase this eunuch from You," she said to Ptah-nem-hotep, Who smiled agreeably. "Are they not delightful?" He asked, and looked at the dark bodies of these five slaves with the same love I had seen my great-grandfather give to a team of matched horses or twin bulls, and indeed, since the slave wore nothing, one could see not only their plump and muscular haunches, but the shiny stump where their testicles had been and this gave them a nice resemblance to geldings."
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eunuch
gelding
haunches
testicles
slaves
horses
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Norman Mailer |
c58ed10
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You've got ice between your legs, Meridon. All you ever want there is a horse.
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meridon
philippa-gregory
wideacre
sexuality
horses
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Philippa Gregory |
d95e498
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"They say dogs are man's best friend," he said. "But horses are man's best slave."
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slave
horses
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Mary Gaitskill |