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0e87075
|
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help being in a bit of a twitter at the prospect of putting it into practical effect. I explained this to Jeeves, and he said much the same thing had bothered Hamlet.
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shakespeare
humor
jeeves
hesitation
hamlet
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b67a766
|
"I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical situation of someone who suddenly discovers that something unpleasant is standing behind them. Here is how Shakespeare handles it in "The Winter's Tale," Act 3, Scene 3: ANTIGONUS: Farewell! A lullaby too rough. I never saw the heavens so dim by day. A savage clamour! Well may I get aboard! This is the chase: I am gone for ever. And then comes literature's most famous stage direction, "Exit pursued by a bear." All well and good, but here's the way I would handle it: BERTIE: Touch of indigestion, Jeeves? JEEVES: No, Sir. BERTIE: Then why is your tummy rumbling? JEEVES: Pardon me, Sir, the noise to which you allude does not emanate from my interior but from that of that animal that has just joined us. BERTIE: Animal? What animal? JEEVES: A bear, Sir. If you will turn your head, you will observe that a bear is standing in your immediate rear inspecting you in a somewhat menacing manner. BERTIE (as narrator): I pivoted the loaf. The honest fellow was perfectly correct. It was a bear. And not a small bear, either. One of the large economy size. Its eye was bleak and it gnashed a tooth or two, and I could see at a g. that it was going to be difficult for me to find a formula. "Advise me, Jeeves," I yipped. "What do I do for the best?" JEEVES: I fancy it might be judicious if you were to make an exit, Sir. BERTIE (narrator): No sooner s. than d. I streaked for the horizon, closely followed across country by the dumb chum. And that, boys and girls, is how your grandfather clipped six seconds off Roger Bannister's mile. Who can say which method is superior?" (As reproduced in )"
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shakespeare
humor
stage-directions
winters-tale
wooster
jeeves
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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aca3207
|
"I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster"
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wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
sherlock-holmes
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b67317c
|
I don't know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I'm telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it.
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humour
writing
wooster
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
writing-craft
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e41b9e7
|
"I suppose even Dictators have their chummy moments, when they put their feet up and relax with the boys, but it was plain from the outset that if Roderick Spode had a sunnier side, he had not come with any idea of exhibiting it now. His manner was curt. One sensed the absence of the bonhomous note. ... Here he laid a hand on my shoulder, and I can't remember when I have experienced anything more unpleasant. Apart from what Jeeves would have called the symbolism of the action, he had a grip like the bite of a horse. "Did you say 'Oh yes?'" he asked. "Oh no," I assured him."
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wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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e232d08
|
She laughed - a bit louder than I could have wished in my frail state of health, but then she is always a woman who tends to bring plaster falling from the ceiling when amused.
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laughter
jeeves
wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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0f18774
|
"What with one thing and another, I can't remember ever having been chirpier than at about this period in my career. Everything seemed to be going right. On three separate occasions horses on which I'd invested a sizeable amount won by lengths instead of sitting down to rest in the middle of the race, as horses usually do when I've got money on them. ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster - The Inimitable Jeeves"
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horse-racing
wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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6bafdbe
|
"Feminine psychology is admittedly odd, sir. The poet Pope..." "Never mind about the poet Pope, Jeeves." "No, sir."
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poets
humor
bertie-wooster
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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1fc93a2
|
"Jeeves," I said. "A rummy communication has arrived. From Mr. Glossop." "Indeed, sir?" "I will read it to you. Handed in at Upper Bleaching. Message runs as follows: When you come tomorrow, bring my football boots. Also, if humanly possible, Irish water-spaniel. Urgent. Regards. Tuppy. "What do you make of that, Jeeves?" "As I interpret the document, sir, Mr. Glossop wishes you, when you come tomorrow, to bring his football boots. Also, if humanly possible, an Irish water-spaniel. He hints that the matter is urgent, and sends his regards." "Yes, that is how I read it. But why football boots?" "Perhaps Mr. Glossop wishes to play football, sir."
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|
humor
telegram
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
football
message
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9f9235f
|
She is very wonderful, Bertie. She is not one of these flippant, shallow-minded, modern girls. She is sweetly grave and beautifully earnest. She reminds me of - what is the name I want?
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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cba3981
|
"She sometimes takes her little brother for a walk round this way," explained Bingo. "I thought we would meet her and bow, and you could see her, you know, and then we would walk on." "Of course," I said, "that's enough excitement for anyone, and undoubtedly a corking reward for tramping three miles out of one's way over ploughed fields with tight boots, but don't we do anything else? Don't we tack on to the girl and buzz along with her?" "Good Lord!" said Bingo, honestly amazed. "You don't suppose I've got nerve enough for that, do you? I just look at her from afar off and all that sort of thing. Quick! Here she comes! No, I'm wrong!" It was like that song of Harry Lauder's where he's waiting for the girl and says, "This is her-r-r. No, it's a rabbut." Young Bingo made me stand there in the teeth of a nor'-east half-gale for ten minutes, keeping me on my toes with a series of false alarms, and I was just thinking of suggesting that we should lay off and give the rest of the proceedings a miss, when round the corner there came a fox-terrier, and Bingo quivered like an aspen. Then there hove in sight a small boy, and he shook like a jelly. Finally, like a star whose entrance has been worked up by the personnel of the ensemble, a girl appeared, and his emotion was painful to witness. His face got so red that, what with his white collar and the fact that the wind had turned his nose blue, he looked more like a French flag than anything else. He sagged from the waist upwards, as if he had been filleted.
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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9ee1436
|
[On writing Jeeves and Wooster stories]: You tell yourself that you can take Jeeves stories or leave them alone, that one more can't possibly hurt you, because you know you can pull up whenever you feel like it, but it is merely wish-full thinking. The craving has gripped you and there is no resisting it. You have passed the point of no return.
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humour
humor
jeeves
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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6133abb
|
"It can't be done, old thing. Sorry, but it's out of the question. I couldn't go through all that again." "Not for me?" "Not for a dozen more like you." "I never thought," said Bingo sorrowfully, "to hear those words from Bertie Wooster!" "Well, you've heard them now," I said. "Paste them in your hat." "Bertie, we were at school together." "It wasn't my fault."
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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4eebde1
|
"Jeeves," I said, "those spats." "Yes, sir?" "You really dislike them?" "Intensely, sir." "You don't think time might induce you to change your views?" "No, sir."
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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e1d95c0
|
"Do you realise that about two hundred of Twing's heftiest are waiting for you outside to chuck you into the pond?" "No!" "Absolutely!"
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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9d98f42
|
"Hallo, Bertie." "Hallo, old turnip. Where have you been all this while?" "Oh, here and there! Ripping weather we're having, Bertie." "Not bad." "I see the Bank Rate is down again." "No, really?" "Disturbing news from Lower Silesia, what?" "Oh, dashed!"
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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0635495
|
"He looked at me like Lillian Gish coming out of a swoon. "Is this Bertie Wooster talking?" he said, pained. "Yes, it jolly well is!"
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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4e9421a
|
"Bertie, it is imperative that you marry." "But, dash it all..."
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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2b0ad28
|
"He was one of those supercilious striplings who give you the impression that you went to the wrong school and that your clothes don't fit. "This is Oswald," said Bingo. "What," I replied cordially, "could be sweeter? How are you?" "Oh, all right," said the kid. "Nice place, this." "Oh, all right," said the kid. "Having a good time fishing?" "Oh, all right," said the kid. Young Bingo led me off to commune apart.
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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abb6252
|
"Tell me, Jeeves," I said. "Suppose you were in a shop taking out of the lending library and a clergyman's daughter came in and without so much as a preliminary 'Hullo, there' said to you, 'Has he brought it yet?' what interpretations would you place on those words?" He pondered, this way and that dividing the swift mind, as I have heard him put it. "'Has he brought it yet,' sir?" "Just that." "I should reach the conclusion that the lady was expecting a male acquaintance to have arrived or to be arriving shortly bearing some unidentified object." --
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library
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
questions
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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773a6a6
|
"Brookfield, my correspondent, writes that last week he observed him in the moonlight at an advanced hour gazing up at his window." "Whose window? Brookfield's?" "Yes, sir. Presumably under the impression that it was the young lady's." "But what the deuce is he doing at Twing at all?" "Mr Little was compelled to resume his old position as tutor to Lord Wickhammersley's son at Twing Hall, sir. Owing to having been unsuccessful in some speculations at Hurst Park at the end of October."
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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8153116
|
"The blighter's manner was so cold and unchummy that I bit the bullet and had a dash at being airy.
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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dea73a5
|
"He will lunch with you at your flat tomorrow at one-thirty. Please remember that he drinks no wine, strongly disapproves of smoking, and can only eat the simplest food, owing to an impaired digestion. Do not offer him coffee, for he considers it the root of half the nerve-trouble in the world." "I should think a dog-biscuit and a glass of water would about meet the case, what?" "Bertie!"
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jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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3f3729b
|
What are you giving us?
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|
jeeves
|
P G Wodehouse |
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293d811
|
Boko looked at me, and raised his eyebrows. I looked at Boko, and raised my eyebrows. Nobby looked at us both, and raised her eyebrows. Then we looked at Stilton, and all raised our eyebrows. It was one of those big eyebrow-raising mornings.
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jeeves
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
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8890cb4
|
"I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers." "I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said. "Then, for a beginner," I said, "you do it dashed well."
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humour
humor
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
retort
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
|
60379e1
|
NOW, touching this business of old Jeeves - my man, you know - how do we stand? Lots of people think I'm much too dependent on him. My Aunt Agatha, in fact, has even gone so far as to call him my keeper. Well, what I say is: Why not? The man's a genius.
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|
wooster
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
|
c11bc6b
|
I felt most awfully braced. I felt as if the clouds had rolled away and all was as it used to be. I felt like one of those chappies in the novels who calls off the fight with his wife in the last chapter and decides to forget and forgive. I felt I wanted to do all sorts of other things to show Jeeves that I appreciated him.
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|
wooster
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |
|
9afbfa3
|
"There are certain moments in life when words are not needed. I looked at Biffy, Biffy looked at me. A perfect understanding linked our two souls. "?" "!"
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jeeves
p-g-wodehouse
|
P.G. Wodehouse |