puns

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
3e79ef4	You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.	puns	Dorothy Parker
bc7c227	"Yeah 'ear 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched."	harry-potter puns	J.K. Rowling
2b5b32a	"This did not seem to reassure Nico. "I don't like being in the dark," he muttered. An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant."	humor puns nico-di-angelo	Rick Riordan
23abf2b	"I believe in reincarnation," [Bjorn] said. I KNOW. "I tried to live a good life. Does that help?" THAT'S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU'LL BE BJORN AGAIN."	death humor puns reincarnation discworld	Terry Pratchett
46bae57	"It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water." --	puns water	Douglas Adams
1a938c7	But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.	politics humor puns	Terry Pratchett
9d0d4c8	Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here?	puns	Tim Burton
dedb9d3	Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.	undead puns hogfather	Terry Pratchett
550aa0f	Jake Wexler,	puns	Ellen Raskin
3616e4e	If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.	humor puns	Terry Pratchett
6d6d7e0	And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.' 'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.	puns	Terry Pratchett
2321f83	"Would I laugh?" "Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking."	funny shale puns pun	Margaret Atwood
bdb994c	"Xingu!" she scoffed. "Why, it was the fact of our knowing so much more about it than she did--unprepared though we were--that made Osric Dane so furious. I should have thought that was plain enough to everybody!"	humor dangerous-philosophy didacticism pretension manners puns new-york	Edith Wharton
a9c0e30	Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.	puns latin	Ben Aaronovitch
52bc4f8	"Well, land sakes!" Hiro says. "Lookee here!" He whips his blade sideways, cutting off both of the businessman's forearms, causing the sword to clatter onto the floor. "Better fire up the ol' barbeque, Jemima!" Hiro continues, whipping the sword around sideways, cutting the businessman's body in half just above the navel. Then he leans down so he's looking right into the businessman's face. "Didn't anyone tell you," he says, losing the dialect, "that I was a hacker?" Then he hacks the guy's head off."	humor puns	Neal Stephenson
00f123f	"One of Lucy's admirers took to her, apparently." "Took to her?" echoes William, his own feelings for Sugar causing him to construe the phrase benignly. "Yes," said Bodley "With her own riding crop." "Beat her very severely." "Particularly about the face and mouth." "I understand all the fight's gone out of her now." "Well, as you can imagine," he says. "Madam Georgina doesn't have high hopes. Even if she's willing to wait, there will be scars." Ashwell, eyes downcast, is picking at the lint on his trousers. "Poor girl," he laments. "Yes," smirks Bodley. "How are the fighty maulen."	puns	Michel Faber

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

puns

Dorothy Parker

bc7c227

"Yeah 'ear 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched."

harry-potter puns

J.K. Rowling

2b5b32a

"This did not seem to reassure Nico. "I don't like being in the dark," he muttered. An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant."

humor puns nico-di-angelo

Rick Riordan

23abf2b

"I believe in reincarnation," [Bjorn] said. I KNOW. "I tried to live a good life. Does that help?" THAT'S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU'LL BE BJORN AGAIN."

death humor puns reincarnation discworld

Terry Pratchett

46bae57

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water." --

puns water

Douglas Adams

1a938c7

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

politics humor puns

Terry Pratchett

9d0d4c8

Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here?

puns

Tim Burton

dedb9d3

Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.

undead puns hogfather

Terry Pratchett

550aa0f

Jake Wexler,

puns

Ellen Raskin

3616e4e

If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening.

humor puns

Terry Pratchett

6d6d7e0

And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.' 'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.

puns

Terry Pratchett

2321f83

"Would I laugh?" "Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking."

funny shale puns pun

Margaret Atwood

bdb994c

"Xingu!" she scoffed. "Why, it was the fact of our knowing so much more about it than she did--unprepared though we were--that made Osric Dane so furious. I should have thought that was plain enough to everybody!"

humor dangerous-philosophy didacticism pretension manners puns new-york

Edith Wharton

a9c0e30

Sinister is Latin for 'left', making it the sort of enjoyable schoolboy pun that is such an advert for mixed-gender education.

puns latin

Ben Aaronovitch

52bc4f8

"Well, land sakes!" Hiro says. "Lookee here!" He whips his blade sideways, cutting off both of the businessman's forearms, causing the sword to clatter onto the floor. "Better fire up the ol' barbeque, Jemima!" Hiro continues, whipping the sword around sideways, cutting the businessman's body in half just above the navel. Then he leans down so he's looking right into the businessman's face. "Didn't anyone tell you," he says, losing the dialect, "that I was a hacker?" Then he hacks the guy's head off."

humor puns

Neal Stephenson

00f123f

"One of Lucy's admirers took to her, apparently." "Took to her?" echoes William, his own feelings for Sugar causing him to construe the phrase benignly. "Yes," said Bodley "With her own riding crop." "Beat her very severely." "Particularly about the face and mouth." "I understand all the fight's gone out of her now." "Well, as you can imagine," he says. "Madam Georgina doesn't have high hopes. Even if she's willing to wait, there will be scars." Ashwell, eyes downcast, is picking at the lint on his trousers. "Poor girl," he laments. "Yes," smirks Bodley. "How are the fighty maulen."

puns

Michel Faber