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afe1b7b
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That's when I wanted to cut. I cut to quiet the cacophony. I cut to end this abstracted agony, to reel my selves back to one present and physical whole, whose blood was the proof of her tangibility.
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cutting
self-harm
si
self-injury
self-mutilation
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Caroline Kettlewell |
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5bcf785
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Somehow however just knowing that I could fully expect unhappiness to return - if not predictably then nevertheless reliably - was strangely liberating. The point was that even chaos had a structure a beginning and eventually an end. It was possible to live through it. I'd been doing as much for twenty years.
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self-injury
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Caroline Kettlewell |
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894436e
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Why can't I remember our family Christmas, or a warm spring day, or anything that might have been pleasant? It is as though the filter of recall is itself altered, so that it blocks out everything but the darkest colors of the spectrum.
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self-injury
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Caroline Kettlewell |