shame

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
4f69ccf	Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.	sorrow heartfelt tears shame	Charles Dickens
432204b	We need never be ashamed of our tears.	sorrow tears shame	Charles Dickens
62b4f04	Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly.	library writing bible science bitter childish-beliefs guides invade uneducated unimaginative unthinking guide childish leader leaders imagine ignore home resentment ignorance shame thought the-bible school	Isaac Asimov
6d7db0e	When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to celebrate. Instead, the feeling of victory is replaced with anxiety that it will happen again, and with shame and vulnerability when you see how your illness affected your family, your work, everything left untouched while you struggled to survive. We come back to life thinner, paler, weaker ... but as survivors. Survivors who don't get pats on the back from coworkers who congratulate them on making it. Survivors who wake to more work than before because their friends and family are exhausted from helping them fight a battle they may not even understand. I hope to one day see a sea of people all wearing silver ribbons as a sign that they understand the secret battle, and as a celebration of the victories made each day as we individually pull ourselves up out of our foxholes to see our scars heal, and to remember what the sun looks like.	depression fear mental-health-stigma recovery-quotes stigma stigmatized shame recovery mental-illness mental-health survivors	Jenny Lawson
76de407	The mistake ninety-nine percent of humanity made, as far as Fats could see, was being ashamed of what they were; lying about it, trying to be somebody else.	being-someone-else lying humanity inspirational being-someone-else-you-are-not hating-yourself trying-to-be-like-someone-else self-acceptance hiding shame self-hatred	J.K. Rowling
06da198	You cannot let your parents anywhere near your real humiliations.	shame secrets	Alice Munro
8228778	Shame was an emotion he had abandoned years earlier. Addicts know no shame. You disgrace yourself so many times you become immune to it.	immunity addicts shame	John Grisham
f0d8f33	"I felt ashamed." "But of what? Psyche, they hadn't stripped you naked or anything?" "No, no, Maia. Ashamed of looking like a mortal -- of being a mortal." "But how could you help that?" "Don't you think the things people are most ashamed of are things they can't help?"	shame	C.S. Lewis
ad2e7c9	I do not say that children at war do not die like men, if they have to die. To their everlasting honor and our everlasting shame, they do die like men, thus making possible the manly jubilation of patriotic holidays. But they are murdered children all the same.	war patriotism shame	Kurt Vonnegut
c3697d6	"Why are you drinking? demanded the little prince. "So that I may forget," replied the tippler. "Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who was already sorry for him. "Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head. "Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. "Ashamed of drinking!"	shame sad	Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
20b42fe	I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one's erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.	truth homosexuality shame	Alison Bechdel
19bb3eb	Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.	shame fool	Stephen King
002b4ac	If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.	judging shame	Tucker Max
5afe1a0	Everybody gets scared sometimes, May Belle. You don't have to be ashamed.	shame	Katherine Paterson
d070e5e	We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.	growth shame	Brené Brown
d10c19c	"The biggest potential for helping us overcome shame is this: We are "those people." The truth is...we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being "those people"-the ones we don't trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don't let our kids play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don't want living next door."	poverty addiction divorce shame	Brené Brown
86c5556	Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.	shame	Brené Brown
f7fa717	There are five dangerous faults which may affect a general: (1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction; (2) cowardice, which leads to capture; (3) a hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults; (4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame; (5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble.	war general fault reckless temper lead worry danger cowardice shame trouble destruction homer	Sun Tzu
f3d2963	(You do not have to be shamed in my closeness. Family are the people who must never make you feel ashamed.) (You are wrong. Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame.) (And you are deserving of shame?) (I am. I am trying to tell you.) 'We were stupid,' he said, 'because we believed in things.' 'Why is this stupid?' 'Because there are not things to believe in.' (Love?) (There is no love. Only the end of love.) (Goodness?) (Do not be a fool.) (God?) (If God exists, He is not to be believed in.)	family god love shame	Jonathan Safran Foer
dd6ef8e	The terror of being judged sharpens the memory: it sends an inevitable glare over that long-unvisited past which has been habitually recalled only in general phrases. Even without memory, the life is bound into one by a zone of dependence in growth and decay; but intense memory forces a man to own his blameworthy past. With memory set smarting like a reopened wound, a man's past is not simply a dead history, an outworn preparation of the present: it is not a repented error shaken loose from the life: it is a still quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavors and the tinglings of a merited shame.	shame	George Eliot
8f291cc	Among the problems with shame was that it in fact did not make you shorter or quieter or less visible. You just felt like you were.	sadness shame	J.R. Ward
111c292	The shame that tormented me was all the more corrosive for having no very clear origin: I didn't know why I felt so tainted, and worthless, and wrong-only that I did, and whenever I looked up from my books I was swamped by slimy waters rushing in from all sides.	tainted worthlessness corrosive torment taint shame worthless	Donna Tartt
58d1133	...research tells us that we judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived shaming deficiency.	judgement shame	Brené Brown
b2c6a06	You see, this happened a few months ago, but it's still going on right now, and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we're talking about when we talk about love.	time talk shame	Raymond Carver
af7a205	WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES when we go against our instincts? What are the consequences of not speaking out? What are the consequences of guilt, shame, and doubt?	doubt speaking-out instinct shame consequences guilt instincts voice	Terry Tempest Williams
5966264	My hands are of your colour; but I shame To wear a heart so white.	murder lady-macbeth innocence shame macbeth	William Shakespeare
78bc10a	Why couldn't it just not have happened? Why didn't they have time-travel, why couldn't he go back and stop it happening? Ships that could circumnavigate the galaxy in a few years, and count every cell in your body from light-years off, but he wasn't able to go back one miserable day and alter one tiny, stupid, idiotic, shameful decision...	stupidity galaxies jernau-morat-gurgeh time-travel mistakes shame regret	Iain M. Banks
8b2655a	I must fight with my weapons. Not his. Not selfishness and brutality and shame and resentment.	collector fowles john resentment selfishness shame weapons fight	John Fowles
9b51f3c	Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.	shame memory	Chuck Palahniuk
874938a	I would like to be without shame. I would like to be shameless. I would like to be ignorant. Then I would not know how ignorant I was.	shame	Margaret Atwood
dbd110d	you die, do you want to feel ashamed of what you've done with your life? Feel ashamed of what your life meant?	shame	Jim Butcher
b056b9b	[W]e all care deeply about things that seem totally inconsequential to other people. We all carry around with us the flotsam and jetsam of perceived humiliations that actually mean nothing. We are a mass of vulnerabilities, and who knows what will trigger them?	shame vulnerability	Jon Ronson
f09afcb	"The woman I loved died because I did not love her enough - what greater sin is there than that?" (Uncle Chaim and Aunt Fifke and the Angel)"	shame sin	Peter S. Beagle
65a0e62	I'm not interested in Bob Marley telling me to 'lively up' myself. The only music that satisfies me is Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor's voice crying through industrial rhytms. In the August evenings, I lie on my bed with earphones, letting his laments roll through me like unrepentant thunderstorms. I envy the courage that carries his voice into the world. He doesn't berate himself for pain and anger; he howls. And this delights me, even though I feel ashamed when my own rage comes to the surface. My anger doesn't signify courage; it's just more confirmation that I'm bad.	depression shame	Kiera Van Gelder
790a695	I drew it over my skin like a violins bow, No one would ever hear the song of my shame.	violins shame	Jodi Picoult
5e799b7	DID is about survival! As more people begin to appreciate this concept, individuals with DID will start to feel less as though they have to hide in shame. DID develops as a response to extreme trauma that occurs at an early age and usually over an extended period of time.	multiplicity mpd goal response survival shame mental-illness multiple-personality-disorder trauma mental-health	Deborah Bray Haddock
691fd75	She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference.	love shame	Christopher Moore
fe91d7f	Since there was nothing at all I was certain of, since I needed to be provided at every instant with a new confirmation of my existence, since nothing was in my very own, undoubted, sole possession, determined unequivocally only by me -- in sober truth a disinherited son -- naturally I became unsure even of the thing nearest to me, my own body.	childhood-trauma narcissistic-personality narcissism shame	Franz Kafka
a836039	They did not submit to the obvious alternative, which was simply to close the eyes and fall. So easy, really. Go limp and tumble to the ground and let the muscles unwind and not speak and not budge until your buddies picked you up and lifted you into the chopper that would roar and dip its nose and carry you off to the world. A mere matter of falling, yet no one ever fell. It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor. Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.	war embarrassment shame	Tim O'Brien
bffde8a	Probably one or two moments in your whole life you will hear a dark whispering spirit, a voice coming from the center of things. It will have blades for lips and will not stop until it speaks the one secret thing at the heart of it all. Kneeling on the floor, unable to stop shuddering, I heard it plainly. It said, You are unlovable...	truth shame secrets	Sue Monk Kidd
24ddfc3	The wicked fear the good, because the good are a constant reproach to their consciences. The ungodly like religion in the same way that they like lions, either dead or behind bars; they fear religion when it breaks loose and begins to challenge their consciences.	morality religion immorality shame guilt sin	Fulton J. Sheen
bcfc6e7	I obscenity in the milk of my shame.	shame	Ernest Hemingway
6d0706c	It ended by my almost believing (perhaps actually believing) that this was perhaps my normal condition. But at first, in the beginning, what agonies I endured in that struggle! I did not believe it was the same with other people, and all my life I hid this fact about myself as a secret. I was ashamed (even now, perhaps, I am ashamed): I got to the point of feeling a sort of secret abnormal, despicable enjoyment in returning home to my corner on some disgusting Petersburg night, acutely conscious that that day I had committed a loathsome action again, that what was done could never be undone, and secretly, inwardly gnawing, gnawing at myself for it, tearing and consuming myself till at last the bitterness turned into a sort of shameful accursed sweetness, and at last--into positive real enjoyment! Yes, into enjoyment, into enjoyment! I insist upon that. I have spoken of this because I keep wanting to know for a fact whether other people feel such enjoyment? I will explain; the enjoyment was just from the too intense consciousness of one's own degradation; it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into. And the worst of it was, and the root of it all, that it was all in accord with the normal fundamental laws of over-acute consciousness, and with the inertia that was the direct result of those laws, and that consequently one was not only unable to change but could do absolutely nothing. Thus it would follow, as the result of acute consciousness, that one is not to blame in being a scoundrel; as though that were any consolation to the scoundrel once he has come to realise that he actually is a scoundrel.	hopelessness struggle depression agony inevitabilities fatalism shame despair	Fyodor Dostoyevsky
f7b25a8	Her only shame was that she felt none.	life shame	Nicholas Evans
8946ff8	He knew me. He knew me through and through and he found no shame in me.	shame	Ted Dekker
93db366	Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe - and you want to turn him into a carbon copy of every fourth-rate conformist in this frightened land! Why don't you go whole hog? Get him a brief case and make him carry it wherever he goes - make him feel shame if he doesn't have it.	man personality human god nudity taboo-breaking taboos martian tribe grace work-ethic psychotic naked society innocence mars shame	Robert A. Heinlein
346a6e6	To show his nervousness was not shameful; only to admit it.	nervousness shame	Ernest Hemingway
a47af1d	This murdered girl troubles me. After the first shock, nobody at school says much about her. Even Cordelia does not want to talk about her. It's as if this girl has done something shameful, herself, by being murdered.	murder women girls shame	Margaret Atwood
17db5f1	"Always know there are friends somewhere rooting for you. There are people you don't know, always praying for you and lifting you before God. - Jenee, from "To the Survivors"."	rape spirituality empowerment god hope sexual-assault suxual-abuse sexual-violence healing shame recovery	Robert Uttaro
005ac1d	I think we can all agree that feeling shame is an incredibly painful experience. What we often don't realize is that perpetrating shame is equally as painful, and no one does that with the precision of a partner or a parent. These are the people who know us the best and who bear witness to our vulnerabilities and fears. Thankfully, we can apologize for shaming someone we love, but the truth is that those shaming comments leave marks. And shaming someone we love around vulnerability is the most serious of all security breaches. Even if we apologize, we've done serious damage because we've demonstrated our willingness to use sacred information as a weapon.	shaming shame vulnerability	Brené Brown
4b0e6bf	It's important to understand that while honor is an entitlement to respect--and shame comes when you lose that title--a person of honor cares first of all not about being respected but about being worthy of respect.	reputation respect shame	Kwame Anthony Appiah
ead270a	"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."	ashamed coverup defective defective-humans false-self feeling-bad hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self overachiever power-trip toxic-shame child-sexual-abuse-survivor recovery-from-abuse dunce loser healing-insights survivor puritan healing true-self shame child-sexual-abuse incest	Maureen Brady
3695de7	Don't underestimate the power of a guilty mind. Never underestimate self-shame and self-destruction.	self-shame self-destruction shame	Tim Hawken
30e2a8b	I'm disappointed in myself. In my life. All my life, everything I tried, I only got halfway there. You try to take advantage of the time you have. That's what they tell you to do. But when you're old, you look back and you see all you did, with all that time, is waste it. All you have is a story of things you never started or couldn't finish. Things you fought with all your heart to build that didn't last or fought with all your heart to get rid of and they're all still around. I'm ashamed of myself.	shame	Michael Chabon
d9fed06	Oh, tell me, who first declared, who first proclaimed that man only does nasty things because he does not know his own real interests; and that if he were enlightened, if his eyes were opened to his real normal interests, man would at once cease to do nasty things, would at once become good and noble because, being enlightened and understanding his real advantage, he would see his own advantage in the good and nothing else... . Oh, the babe! Oh, the pure, innocent child!	liberation reticence privacy innocence self-interest shame	Fyodor Dostoyevsky
29bed94	He likes to humble our foes by making them seem ridiculous. As he said to me the other day, 'Kill a man, and you cede him honor in the eyes of the gods. Laugh at him and you shame him'.	the-great-game shame	Raymond E. Feist
f7bdaff	Without guilt or remorse, shame was an empty emotion. Indeed, shame would not be shame.	remorse shame	Sylvain Reynard
8439bdb	It was easy to share when there was enough, even barely enough, to go round. But when there was not enough? Then force entered in; might making right; power, and its tool, violence, and its most devoted ally, the averted eye.	violence shame	Ursula K. Le Guin
9b3f2f7	"You said just now, "Don't be so ashamed of yourself, because that's the root of your trouble"--with those words, you seem to have reached right into my innermost soul. What I mean is, when I visit people, I always feel that I'm really the lowest of the low, that everybody takes me for a buffoon, so I say to myself, why shouldn't I act the fool, I'm not afraid of what any of you might think, because every single one of you is even worse than me. That's why I'm a buffoon, I'm a buffoon born of shame, great starets, of shame. It's anxiety pure and simple that makes me so unruly."	buffoonery melodrama confession ego shame	Fyodor Dostoyevsky
c1eaa56	"{ }	integrity coop credulity divines dreadful catholic-church luminous martyrs christendom catholic sages believers catholicism submission cruelty realization church shame lie contempt ritual ugly hell	H.G. Wells
4b0410c	What has been done to you is one thing. Yet to really suffer, to truly be burdened with guilt and shame, such pain always begins not with what has been done to you--but with what you have done. Andre Chevalier	responsibility emotional-pain shame guilt	Nikki Sex
ae23b74	When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.	freedom abusers perpetrators abuser burdens-of-the-past imperfect peptrator perfectly-imperfect false-guilt recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse innocence-lost offense child-rape healing-insights perfectionism healing innocence shame recovery guilt child-sexual-abuse incest sexual-abuse survivors	Maureen Brady
0f4ead1	When shamings are delivered like remotely administered drone strikes, nobody needs to think about how ferocious our collective power might be. The snowflake never needs to feel responsible for the avalanche.	social-media shame	Jon Ronson
ef9058d	The redeemed of God who are snatched from the flames by the hand of the Lord are still covered with ashes. We remain streaked with charcoal and blemished with soot. We are redeemed, but not sinless. Satan is quick to call attention to the dirt. He wants us to be more conscious of our sin than of God's mercy.	christianity grace forgiveness shame guilt sin	R.C. Sproul
3d23ab8	Shame internalized can lead to agony. Whereas shame let out can lead to freedom, or at least a funny story, which is a sort of freedom too.	freedom internalized shame	Jon Ronson
9563645	The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.	rape rage recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse outrage child-rape healing-insights healing shame crime recovery child-sexual-abuse incest	Maureen Brady
98dcbe9	By changing our history and our memory, they try to erase all our shame.	shame memory	ruth ozeki
01dcd1f	With no blame there's no shame. A human society can't exist without shame. Shame is like handedness or walking upright. It's a central human attribute. In fact, it's the first human quality ever recorded.' 'Where?' 'Genesis, Chapter Three. The covering of nakedness. The acquisition of shame was the first consequence of consciousness, of the speciating moment. Take shame from me and you are calling me pre-human.	humanity consciousness shame	Sebastian Faulks
5d7ef5b	Find one person to trust--there need only be one. With them, share every shame, every secret and listen to theirs... with love. Bare hearts and souls until there is understanding. Of a certainty, such honest exposure is the first step toward happiness. -- Andre Chevalier	trust honesty happiness shame secrets	Nikki Sex
22622c3	She had heard it was easy to blame others for one's own failures. But that wasn't exactly accurate. It was easy to blame herself for what had happened--hard to live with it.	shame	Frank Beddor
a72de62	We may believe that anxiety and fear don't concern us because we avoid experiencing them. We may keep the scope of our lives narrow and familiar, opting for sameness and safety. We may not even know that we are scared of success, failure, rejection, criticism, conflict, competition, intimacy, or adventure, because we rarely test the limits of our competence and creativity. We avoid anxiety by avoiding risk and change. Our challenge: To be willing to become more anxious, via embracing new situations and stepping more fully into our lives.	fear brave self-improvement shame guilt psychology	Harriet Lerner
e82208d	I felt so ashamed with them because everything in their life was going so well and they were so sort of successful. I couldn't talk about what I wanted with them and they were always in a hurry.	jealous not-wanted out-of-place the-black-prince iris-murdoch outsider unspoken inferiority shame	Iris Murdoch
ba59e80	Trying to make sense of other people's responses to us is a basic human activity. Accepting a mother's [or anyone's] anger by concluding that i is justified is a way of making sense of a difficult relationship. But this acceptance comes at a great cost, for it means that we see their cruelty as our shame.	abusive-relationships anger-management emotional-abuse physical-abuse anger shame	Terri Apter
2811ead	What a shocking bad hat!' was the phrase that was next in vogue. No sooner had it become universal, than thousands of idle but sharp eyes were on the watch for the passenger whose hat shewed any signs, however slight, of ancient service. Immediately the cry arose, and, like the war-whoop of the Indians, was repeated by a hundred discordant throats. He was a wise man who, finding himself under these circumstances 'the observed of all observers,' bore his honours meekly. He who shewed symptoms of ill-feeling at the imputations cast upon his hat, only brought upon himself redoubled notice. The mob soon perceive whether a man is irritable, and, if of their own class, they love to make sport of him. When such a man, and with such a hat, passed in those days through a crowded neighbourhood, he might think himself fortunate if his annoyances were confined to the shouts and cries of the populace. The obnoxious hat was often snatched from his head and thrown into the gutter by some practical joker, and then raised, covered with mud, upon the end of a stick, for the admiration of the spectators, who held their sides with laughter, and exclaimed, in the pauses of their mirth, 'Oh, what a shocking bad hat!' 'What a shocking bad hat!' Many a nervous poor man, whose purse could but ill spare the outlay, doubtless purchased a new hat before the time, in order to avoid exposure in this manner.	insult hats mocking nervousness hat shame london mockery	Charles Mackay
e1f248f	Often, her mate is the child of a narcissist, already indoctrinated to regard exploitation and disregard as love. Others lured by the narcissistic aura are those in whom healthy childhood exhibitionism has been repressed. . . . If the parent puts the child to shame for showing off, the need for attention gets repressed into the unconscious. Repression means that the need is not satisfied and continues to press for expression in the adult without her being aware of it. The repressed adult may select an exhibitionistic mate to achieve vicarious satisfaction.	exhibitionism narcissistic-abusers narcissistic-mothers narcissistic-personality repressed-emotions revictimization repression narcissism narcissistic shame exploitation	Elan Golomb
0594adb	"Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef. His companion had less stew in his hair, but an equally large lump was rising fast, and Brandark flipped his improvised club into the air, caught it in proper dipping position, and filled it once more from the pot without even glancing at them. He raised the ladle to his nose, inhaled deeply, and glanced at the cook with an impudent twitch of his ears. "Smells delicious," he said while the laughter started up all around the fire. "I imagine a bellyful of this should help a hungry man sleep. Why, just look what a single ladle of it did for Shergahn!"	laughter sleep good humorous defeat funny humor lump steer yummy stew triumph delicious shame bully food	David Weber
65fc0b7	I won't claim I've never in my life done anything I'm ashamed of, but I haven't done anything for a good while. If not everyone would agree with the decisions I've made, that's fine. What other people think has never made a situation right or wrong.	what-others-think shame	Curtis Sittenfeld
c97a9e1	I've read the stories. Teenagers committing suicide because all they can see ahead of them is shame and disgrace. Kids running away from home because they feel like they've list their future. Well, I'm not having that happen to Torin.	hopelessness suicide child-pornography child-sexual-exploitation sexting shame	Val McDermid
320f882	The shame and disorder in his house were like the shame and disorder in his head.	the-corrections jonathan-franzen disorder shame mental-health	Jonathan Franzen
cf1df9a	"When you say Jonah seems broken, what do you mean?" Justine said. "I think he's broken and that people mistake it for shamelessness," I said. People really were very keen to imagine Jonah as shameless, as lacking in that quality, like he was something not quite human that had adopted human form. I suppose it's no surprise that we feel the need to dehumanize the people we hurt--before, during, or after the hurting occurs."	pop-psychology dehumanization shame psychology	Jon Ronson
31a4326	The word forever had been coming up a lot during my two years among the publicly shamed. Jonah and Justine and people like them were being told, 'No. There is no door. There is no way back in. We don't offer any forgiveness.' But we know that people are complicated and have a mixture of flaws and talents and sins. So why do we pretend that we don't?	shame	Jon Ronson
681406f	His problem consisted of a burning wish not to have done the things he'd done.	the-corrections jonathan-franzen shame regret	Jonathan Franzen
90c19ec	I indulged in certain practices that our society regards as shameful. And I got sick. It wasn't the practices, I don't think, it was the feeling that the great, deadly, pointing forefinger of society was pointing at me -- and the great voice of millions chanting, 'Shame. Shame. Shame.' It's society's way of dealing with someone different.	society shame	Ken Kesey
a25da39	I understood that no one could have lobbed such a stinging wad of shame out into the world without having a considerable personal reserve of it to draw on.	shame	Barbara Ehrenreich

4f69ccf

Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.

sorrow heartfelt tears shame

Charles Dickens

432204b

We need never be ashamed of our tears.

sorrow tears shame

Charles Dickens

62b4f04

Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly.

library writing bible science bitter childish-beliefs guides invade uneducated unimaginative unthinking guide childish leader leaders imagine ignore home resentment ignorance shame thought the-bible school

Isaac Asimov

6d7db0e

When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to celebrate. Instead, the feeling of victory is replaced with anxiety that it will happen again, and with shame and vulnerability when you see how your illness affected your family, your work, everything left untouched while you struggled to survive. We come back to life thinner, paler, weaker ... but as survivors. Survivors who don't get pats on the back from coworkers who congratulate them on making it. Survivors who wake to more work than before because their friends and family are exhausted from helping them fight a battle they may not even understand. I hope to one day see a sea of people all wearing silver ribbons as a sign that they understand the secret battle, and as a celebration of the victories made each day as we individually pull ourselves up out of our foxholes to see our scars heal, and to remember what the sun looks like.

depression fear mental-health-stigma recovery-quotes stigma stigmatized shame recovery mental-illness mental-health survivors

Jenny  Lawson

76de407

The mistake ninety-nine percent of humanity made, as far as Fats could see, was being ashamed of what they were; lying about it, trying to be somebody else.

being-someone-else lying humanity inspirational being-someone-else-you-are-not hating-yourself trying-to-be-like-someone-else self-acceptance hiding shame self-hatred

J.K. Rowling

06da198

You cannot let your parents anywhere near your real humiliations.

shame secrets

Alice Munro

8228778

Shame was an emotion he had abandoned years earlier. Addicts know no shame. You disgrace yourself so many times you become immune to it.

immunity addicts shame

John Grisham

f0d8f33

"I felt ashamed." "But of what? Psyche, they hadn't stripped you naked or anything?" "No, no, Maia. Ashamed of looking like a mortal -- of being a mortal." "But how could you help that?" "Don't you think the things people are most ashamed of are things they can't help?"

shame

C.S. Lewis

ad2e7c9

I do not say that children at war do not die like men, if they have to die. To their everlasting honor and our everlasting shame, they do die like men, thus making possible the manly jubilation of patriotic holidays. But they are murdered children all the same.

war patriotism shame

Kurt Vonnegut

c3697d6

"Why are you drinking? demanded the little prince. "So that I may forget," replied the tippler. "Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who was already sorry for him. "Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head. "Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. "Ashamed of drinking!"

shame sad

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

20b42fe

I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one's erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.

truth homosexuality shame

Alison Bechdel

19bb3eb

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.

shame fool

Stephen King

002b4ac

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

judging shame

Tucker Max

5afe1a0

Everybody gets scared sometimes, May Belle. You don't have to be ashamed.

shame

Katherine Paterson

d070e5e

We cannot grow when we are in shame, and we can't use shame to change ourselves or others.

growth shame

Brené Brown

d10c19c

"The biggest potential for helping us overcome shame is this: We are "those people." The truth is...we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being "those people"-the ones we don't trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don't let our kids play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don't want living next door."

poverty addiction divorce shame

Brené Brown

86c5556

Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.

shame

Brené Brown

f7fa717

There are five dangerous faults which may affect a general: (1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction; (2) cowardice, which leads to capture; (3) a hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults; (4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame; (5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble.

war general fault reckless temper lead worry danger cowardice shame trouble destruction homer

Sun Tzu

f3d2963

(You do not have to be shamed in my closeness. Family are the people who must never make you feel ashamed.) (You are wrong. Family are the people who must make you feel ashamed when you are deserving of shame.) (And you are deserving of shame?) (I am. I am trying to tell you.) 'We were stupid,' he said, 'because we believed in things.' 'Why is this stupid?' 'Because there are not things to believe in.' (Love?) (There is no love. Only the end of love.) (Goodness?) (Do not be a fool.) (God?) (If God exists, He is not to be believed in.)

family god love shame

Jonathan Safran Foer

dd6ef8e

The terror of being judged sharpens the memory: it sends an inevitable glare over that long-unvisited past which has been habitually recalled only in general phrases. Even without memory, the life is bound into one by a zone of dependence in growth and decay; but intense memory forces a man to own his blameworthy past. With memory set smarting like a reopened wound, a man's past is not simply a dead history, an outworn preparation of the present: it is not a repented error shaken loose from the life: it is a still quivering part of himself, bringing shudders and bitter flavors and the tinglings of a merited shame.

shame

George Eliot

8f291cc

Among the problems with shame was that it in fact did not make you shorter or quieter or less visible. You just felt like you were.

sadness shame

J.R. Ward

111c292

The shame that tormented me was all the more corrosive for having no very clear origin: I didn't know why I felt so tainted, and worthless, and wrong-only that I did, and whenever I looked up from my books I was swamped by slimy waters rushing in from all sides.

tainted worthlessness corrosive torment taint shame worthless

Donna Tartt

58d1133

...research tells us that we judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived shaming deficiency.

judgement shame

Brené Brown

b2c6a06

You see, this happened a few months ago, but it's still going on right now, and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we're talking about when we talk about love.

time talk shame

Raymond Carver

af7a205

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES when we go against our instincts? What are the consequences of not speaking out? What are the consequences of guilt, shame, and doubt?

doubt speaking-out instinct shame consequences guilt instincts voice

Terry Tempest Williams

5966264

My hands are of your colour; but I shame To wear a heart so white.

murder lady-macbeth innocence shame macbeth

William Shakespeare

78bc10a

Why couldn't it just not have happened? Why didn't they have time-travel, why couldn't he go back and stop it happening? Ships that could circumnavigate the galaxy in a few years, and count every cell in your body from light-years off, but he wasn't able to go back one miserable day and alter one tiny, stupid, idiotic, shameful decision...

stupidity galaxies jernau-morat-gurgeh time-travel mistakes shame regret

Iain M. Banks

8b2655a

I must fight with my weapons. Not his. Not selfishness and brutality and shame and resentment.

collector fowles john resentment selfishness shame weapons fight

John Fowles

9b51f3c

Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.

shame memory

Chuck Palahniuk

874938a

I would like to be without shame. I would like to be shameless. I would like to be ignorant. Then I would not know how ignorant I was.

shame

Margaret Atwood

dbd110d

you die, do you want to feel ashamed of what you've done with your life? Feel ashamed of what your life meant?

shame

Jim Butcher

b056b9b

[W]e all care deeply about things that seem totally inconsequential to other people. We all carry around with us the flotsam and jetsam of perceived humiliations that actually mean nothing. We are a mass of vulnerabilities, and who knows what will trigger them?

shame vulnerability

Jon Ronson

f09afcb

"The woman I loved died because I did not love her enough - what greater sin is there than that?" (Uncle Chaim and Aunt Fifke and the Angel)"

shame sin

Peter S. Beagle

65a0e62

I'm not interested in Bob Marley telling me to 'lively up' myself. The only music that satisfies me is Nine Inch Nails and Trent Reznor's voice crying through industrial rhytms. In the August evenings, I lie on my bed with earphones, letting his laments roll through me like unrepentant thunderstorms. I envy the courage that carries his voice into the world. He doesn't berate himself for pain and anger; he howls. And this delights me, even though I feel ashamed when my own rage comes to the surface. My anger doesn't signify courage; it's just more confirmation that I'm bad.

depression shame

Kiera Van Gelder

790a695

I drew it over my skin like a violins bow, No one would ever hear the song of my shame.

violins shame

Jodi Picoult

5e799b7

DID is about survival! As more people begin to appreciate this concept, individuals with DID will start to feel less as though they have to hide in shame. DID develops as a response to extreme trauma that occurs at an early age and usually over an extended period of time.

multiplicity mpd goal response survival shame mental-illness multiple-personality-disorder trauma mental-health

Deborah Bray Haddock

691fd75

She hugged me and I could feel the heat rise in my face, either from shame or love, like there was a difference.

love shame

Christopher Moore

fe91d7f

Since there was nothing at all I was certain of, since I needed to be provided at every instant with a new confirmation of my existence, since nothing was in my very own, undoubted, sole possession, determined unequivocally only by me -- in sober truth a disinherited son -- naturally I became unsure even of the thing nearest to me, my own body.

childhood-trauma narcissistic-personality narcissism shame

Franz Kafka

a836039

They did not submit to the obvious alternative, which was simply to close the eyes and fall. So easy, really. Go limp and tumble to the ground and let the muscles unwind and not speak and not budge until your buddies picked you up and lifted you into the chopper that would roar and dip its nose and carry you off to the world. A mere matter of falling, yet no one ever fell. It was not courage, exactly; the object was not valor. Rather, they were too frightened to be cowards.

war embarrassment shame

Tim O'Brien

bffde8a

Probably one or two moments in your whole life you will hear a dark whispering spirit, a voice coming from the center of things. It will have blades for lips and will not stop until it speaks the one secret thing at the heart of it all. Kneeling on the floor, unable to stop shuddering, I heard it plainly. It said, You are unlovable...

truth shame secrets

Sue Monk Kidd

24ddfc3

The wicked fear the good, because the good are a constant reproach to their consciences. The ungodly like religion in the same way that they like lions, either dead or behind bars; they fear religion when it breaks loose and begins to challenge their consciences.

morality religion immorality shame guilt sin

Fulton J. Sheen

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I obscenity in the milk of my shame.

shame

Ernest Hemingway

6d0706c

It ended by my almost believing (perhaps actually believing) that this was perhaps my normal condition. But at first, in the beginning, what agonies I endured in that struggle! I did not believe it was the same with other people, and all my life I hid this fact about myself as a secret. I was ashamed (even now, perhaps, I am ashamed): I got to the point of feeling a sort of secret abnormal, despicable enjoyment in returning home to my corner on some disgusting Petersburg night, acutely conscious that that day I had committed a loathsome action again, that what was done could never be undone, and secretly, inwardly gnawing, gnawing at myself for it, tearing and consuming myself till at last the bitterness turned into a sort of shameful accursed sweetness, and at last--into positive real enjoyment! Yes, into enjoyment, into enjoyment! I insist upon that. I have spoken of this because I keep wanting to know for a fact whether other people feel such enjoyment? I will explain; the enjoyment was just from the too intense consciousness of one's own degradation; it was from feeling oneself that one had reached the last barrier, that it was horrible, but that it could not be otherwise; that there was no escape for you; that you never could become a different man; that even if time and faith were still left you to change into something different you would most likely not wish to change; or if you did wish to, even then you would do nothing; because perhaps in reality there was nothing for you to change into. And the worst of it was, and the root of it all, that it was all in accord with the normal fundamental laws of over-acute consciousness, and with the inertia that was the direct result of those laws, and that consequently one was not only unable to change but could do absolutely nothing. Thus it would follow, as the result of acute consciousness, that one is not to blame in being a scoundrel; as though that were any consolation to the scoundrel once he has come to realise that he actually is a scoundrel.

hopelessness struggle depression agony inevitabilities fatalism shame despair

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

f7b25a8

Her only shame was that she felt none.

life shame

Nicholas Evans

8946ff8

He knew me. He knew me through and through and he found no shame in me.

shame

Ted Dekker

93db366

Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe - and you want to turn him into a carbon copy of every fourth-rate conformist in this frightened land! Why don't you go whole hog? Get him a brief case and make him carry it wherever he goes - make him feel shame if he doesn't have it.

man personality human god nudity taboo-breaking taboos martian tribe grace work-ethic psychotic naked society innocence mars shame

Robert A. Heinlein

346a6e6

To show his nervousness was not shameful; only to admit it.

nervousness shame

Ernest Hemingway

a47af1d

This murdered girl troubles me. After the first shock, nobody at school says much about her. Even Cordelia does not want to talk about her. It's as if this girl has done something shameful, herself, by being murdered.

murder women girls shame

Margaret Atwood

17db5f1

"Always know there are friends somewhere rooting for you. There are people you don't know, always praying for you and lifting you before God. - Jenee, from "To the Survivors"."

rape spirituality empowerment god hope sexual-assault suxual-abuse sexual-violence healing shame recovery

Robert Uttaro

005ac1d

I think we can all agree that feeling shame is an incredibly painful experience. What we often don't realize is that perpetrating shame is equally as painful, and no one does that with the precision of a partner or a parent. These are the people who know us the best and who bear witness to our vulnerabilities and fears. Thankfully, we can apologize for shaming someone we love, but the truth is that those shaming comments leave marks. And shaming someone we love around vulnerability is the most serious of all security breaches. Even if we apologize, we've done serious damage because we've demonstrated our willingness to use sacred information as a weapon.

shaming shame vulnerability

Brené Brown

4b0e6bf

It's important to understand that while honor is an entitlement to respect--and shame comes when you lose that title--a person of honor cares first of all not about being respected but about being worthy of respect.

reputation respect shame

Kwame Anthony Appiah

ead270a

"Our need to be "greater than" or "less than" has been a defense against toxic shame. A shameful act was committed upon us. The perpetrator walked away, leaving us with the shame. We absorbed the notion that we are somehow defective. To cover for this we constructed a false self, a masked self. And it is this self that is the overachiever or the dunce, the tramp or the puritan, the powermonger or the pathetic loser."

ashamed coverup defective defective-humans false-self feeling-bad hidden-feelings hidden-pain hidden-self overachiever power-trip toxic-shame child-sexual-abuse-survivor recovery-from-abuse dunce loser healing-insights survivor puritan healing true-self shame child-sexual-abuse incest

Maureen Brady

3695de7

Don't underestimate the power of a guilty mind. Never underestimate self-shame and self-destruction.

self-shame self-destruction shame

Tim Hawken

30e2a8b

I'm disappointed in myself. In my life. All my life, everything I tried, I only got halfway there. You try to take advantage of the time you have. That's what they tell you to do. But when you're old, you look back and you see all you did, with all that time, is waste it. All you have is a story of things you never started or couldn't finish. Things you fought with all your heart to build that didn't last or fought with all your heart to get rid of and they're all still around. I'm ashamed of myself.

shame

Michael Chabon

d9fed06

Oh, tell me, who first declared, who first proclaimed that man only does nasty things because he does not know his own real interests; and that if he were enlightened, if his eyes were opened to his real normal interests, man would at once cease to do nasty things, would at once become good and noble because, being enlightened and understanding his real advantage, he would see his own advantage in the good and nothing else... . Oh, the babe! Oh, the pure, innocent child!

liberation reticence privacy innocence self-interest shame

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

29bed94

He likes to humble our foes by making them seem ridiculous. As he said to me the other day, 'Kill a man, and you cede him honor in the eyes of the gods. Laugh at him and you shame him'.

the-great-game shame

Raymond E. Feist

f7bdaff

Without guilt or remorse, shame was an empty emotion. Indeed, shame would not be shame.

remorse shame

Sylvain Reynard

8439bdb

It was easy to share when there was enough, even barely enough, to go round. But when there was not enough? Then force entered in; might making right; power, and its tool, violence, and its most devoted ally, the averted eye.

violence shame

Ursula K. Le Guin

9b3f2f7

"You said just now, "Don't be so ashamed of yourself, because that's the root of your trouble"--with those words, you seem to have reached right into my innermost soul. What I mean is, when I visit people, I always feel that I'm really the lowest of the low, that everybody takes me for a buffoon, so I say to myself, why shouldn't I act the fool, I'm not afraid of what any of you might think, because every single one of you is even worse than me. That's why I'm a buffoon, I'm a buffoon born of shame, great starets, of shame. It's anxiety pure and simple that makes me so unruly."

buffoonery melodrama confession ego shame

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

c1eaa56

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integrity coop credulity divines dreadful catholic-church luminous martyrs christendom catholic sages believers catholicism submission cruelty realization church shame lie contempt ritual ugly hell

H.G. Wells

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What has been done to you is one thing. Yet to really suffer, to truly be burdened with guilt and shame, such pain always begins not with what has been done to you--but with what you have done. Andre Chevalier

responsibility emotional-pain shame guilt

Nikki Sex

ae23b74

When shame is met with compassion and not received as confirmation of our guilt, we can begin to see how slant a lens it has had us looking through. That awareness lets us step back far enough to see that if we can let it go, we will see ourselves as clean where we once thought we were dirty. We will remember our innocence. We will see how our shame supported a system in which the perpetrators were protected and we bore the brunt of their offense -- first in its actuality, then again in carrying their shame for it. If the method we chose to try to beat out shame was perfectionism, we can relax now, shake the burden off our shoulders, and give ourselves a chance to loosen up and make some errors. Hallelujah! Our freedom will not come from tireless effort and getting it all exactly right.

freedom abusers perpetrators abuser burdens-of-the-past imperfect peptrator perfectly-imperfect false-guilt recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse innocence-lost offense child-rape healing-insights perfectionism healing innocence shame recovery guilt child-sexual-abuse incest sexual-abuse survivors

Maureen Brady

0f4ead1

When shamings are delivered like remotely administered drone strikes, nobody needs to think about how ferocious our collective power might be. The snowflake never needs to feel responsible for the avalanche.

social-media shame

Jon Ronson

ef9058d

The redeemed of God who are snatched from the flames by the hand of the Lord are still covered with ashes. We remain streaked with charcoal and blemished with soot. We are redeemed, but not sinless. Satan is quick to call attention to the dirt. He wants us to be more conscious of our sin than of God's mercy.

christianity grace forgiveness shame guilt sin

R.C. Sproul

3d23ab8

Shame internalized can lead to agony. Whereas shame let out can lead to freedom, or at least a funny story, which is a sort of freedom too.

freedom internalized shame

Jon Ronson

9563645

The bridge out of shame is outrage. Suddenly the obvious becomes stunningly clear--we have been carrying shame for the crime of the offender...In a clear flash we may see ourselves standing in a fierce stance, grounded by our knowledge, ready to throw off any wrongdoer. Our outrage can be a fueling energy, capable of making us as steely as we need to be.

rape rage recovery-from-abuse healing-from-abuse outrage child-rape healing-insights healing shame crime recovery child-sexual-abuse incest

Maureen Brady

98dcbe9

By changing our history and our memory, they try to erase all our shame.

shame memory

ruth ozeki

01dcd1f

With no blame there's no shame. A human society can't exist without shame. Shame is like handedness or walking upright. It's a central human attribute. In fact, it's the first human quality ever recorded.' 'Where?' 'Genesis, Chapter Three. The covering of nakedness. The acquisition of shame was the first consequence of consciousness, of the speciating moment. Take shame from me and you are calling me pre-human.

humanity consciousness shame

Sebastian Faulks

5d7ef5b

Find one person to trust--there need only be one. With them, share every shame, every secret and listen to theirs... with love. Bare hearts and souls until there is understanding. Of a certainty, such honest exposure is the first step toward happiness. -- Andre Chevalier

trust honesty happiness shame secrets

Nikki Sex

22622c3

She had heard it was easy to blame others for one's own failures. But that wasn't exactly accurate. It was easy to blame herself for what had happened--hard to live with it.

shame

Frank Beddor

a72de62

We may believe that anxiety and fear don't concern us because we avoid experiencing them. We may keep the scope of our lives narrow and familiar, opting for sameness and safety. We may not even know that we are scared of success, failure, rejection, criticism, conflict, competition, intimacy, or adventure, because we rarely test the limits of our competence and creativity. We avoid anxiety by avoiding risk and change. Our challenge: To be willing to become more anxious, via embracing new situations and stepping more fully into our lives.

fear brave self-improvement shame guilt psychology

Harriet Lerner

e82208d

I felt so ashamed with them because everything in their life was going so well and they were so sort of successful. I couldn't talk about what I wanted with them and they were always in a hurry.

jealous not-wanted out-of-place the-black-prince iris-murdoch outsider unspoken inferiority shame

Iris Murdoch

ba59e80

Trying to make sense of other people's responses to us is a basic human activity. Accepting a mother's [or anyone's] anger by concluding that i is justified is a way of making sense of a difficult relationship. But this acceptance comes at a great cost, for it means that we see their cruelty as our shame.

abusive-relationships anger-management emotional-abuse physical-abuse anger shame

Terri Apter

2811ead

What a shocking bad hat!' was the phrase that was next in vogue. No sooner had it become universal, than thousands of idle but sharp eyes were on the watch for the passenger whose hat shewed any signs, however slight, of ancient service. Immediately the cry arose, and, like the war-whoop of the Indians, was repeated by a hundred discordant throats. He was a wise man who, finding himself under these circumstances 'the observed of all observers,' bore his honours meekly. He who shewed symptoms of ill-feeling at the imputations cast upon his hat, only brought upon himself redoubled notice. The mob soon perceive whether a man is irritable, and, if of their own class, they love to make sport of him. When such a man, and with such a hat, passed in those days through a crowded neighbourhood, he might think himself fortunate if his annoyances were confined to the shouts and cries of the populace. The obnoxious hat was often snatched from his head and thrown into the gutter by some practical joker, and then raised, covered with mud, upon the end of a stick, for the admiration of the spectators, who held their sides with laughter, and exclaimed, in the pauses of their mirth, 'Oh, what a shocking bad hat!' 'What a shocking bad hat!' Many a nervous poor man, whose purse could but ill spare the outlay, doubtless purchased a new hat before the time, in order to avoid exposure in this manner.

insult hats mocking nervousness hat shame london mockery

Charles Mackay

e1f248f

Often, her mate is the child of a narcissist, already indoctrinated to regard exploitation and disregard as love. Others lured by the narcissistic aura are those in whom healthy childhood exhibitionism has been repressed. . . . If the parent puts the child to shame for showing off, the need for attention gets repressed into the unconscious. Repression means that the need is not satisfied and continues to press for expression in the adult without her being aware of it. The repressed adult may select an exhibitionistic mate to achieve vicarious satisfaction.

exhibitionism narcissistic-abusers narcissistic-mothers narcissistic-personality repressed-emotions revictimization repression narcissism narcissistic shame exploitation

Elan Golomb

0594adb

"Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef. His companion had less stew in his hair, but an equally large lump was rising fast, and Brandark flipped his improvised club into the air, caught it in proper dipping position, and filled it once more from the pot without even glancing at them. He raised the ladle to his nose, inhaled deeply, and glanced at the cook with an impudent twitch of his ears. "Smells delicious," he said while the laughter started up all around the fire. "I imagine a bellyful of this should help a hungry man sleep. Why, just look what a single ladle of it did for Shergahn!"

laughter sleep good humorous defeat funny humor lump steer yummy stew triumph delicious shame bully food

David Weber

65fc0b7

I won't claim I've never in my life done anything I'm ashamed of, but I haven't done anything for a good while. If not everyone would agree with the decisions I've made, that's fine. What other people think has never made a situation right or wrong.

what-others-think shame

Curtis Sittenfeld

c97a9e1

I've read the stories. Teenagers committing suicide because all they can see ahead of them is shame and disgrace. Kids running away from home because they feel like they've list their future. Well, I'm not having that happen to Torin.

hopelessness suicide child-pornography child-sexual-exploitation sexting shame

Val McDermid

320f882

The shame and disorder in his house were like the shame and disorder in his head.

the-corrections jonathan-franzen disorder shame mental-health

Jonathan Franzen

cf1df9a

"When you say Jonah seems broken, what do you mean?" Justine said. "I think he's broken and that people mistake it for shamelessness," I said. People really were very keen to imagine Jonah as shameless, as lacking in that quality, like he was something not quite human that had adopted human form. I suppose it's no surprise that we feel the need to dehumanize the people we hurt--before, during, or after the hurting occurs."

pop-psychology dehumanization shame psychology

Jon Ronson

31a4326

The word forever had been coming up a lot during my two years among the publicly shamed. Jonah and Justine and people like them were being told, 'No. There is no door. There is no way back in. We don't offer any forgiveness.' But we know that people are complicated and have a mixture of flaws and talents and sins. So why do we pretend that we don't?

shame

Jon Ronson

681406f

His problem consisted of a burning wish not to have done the things he'd done.

the-corrections jonathan-franzen shame regret

Jonathan Franzen

90c19ec

I indulged in certain practices that our society regards as shameful. And I got sick. It wasn't the practices, I don't think, it was the feeling that the great, deadly, pointing forefinger of society was pointing at me -- and the great voice of millions chanting, 'Shame. Shame. Shame.' It's society's way of dealing with someone different.

society shame

Ken Kesey

a25da39

I understood that no one could have lobbed such a stinging wad of shame out into the world without having a considerable personal reserve of it to draw on.

shame

Barbara Ehrenreich