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ddf6bd9
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I'd always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn't even put her in the oven.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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6ff1273
|
'Stinko, is he?''Not perhaps stinko, but certainly effervescent.'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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f02cd91
|
'And shove him into a dungeon with dripping walls and see to it that he is well gnawed by rats.'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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af254f8
|
His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a gas pipe with a lighted candle.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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44a8747
|
'You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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3bc8009
|
It just showed once again that half the world doesn't know how the other three quarters live.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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bc22ec5
|
Many a man may look respectable, and yet be able to hide at will behind a spiral staircase.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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5a5fc49
|
She's wrong about absolutely everything, but she's wrong within normal parameters.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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3dc8d08
|
A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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f3d550d
|
Keeping house is as unpleasant and filthy as coal mining, and the pay's a lot worse.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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77c3d10
|
Never serve oysters during a month that has no paycheck in it.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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c5e0288
|
Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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6c5716f
|
There's only one secret to bachelor cooking -- not caring how it tastes.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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e658041
|
You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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ba89782
|
Every generation finds the drug it needs.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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6a0d7d6
|
Fishing ... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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be69a92
|
Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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5cf026a
|
Jewishness cropped up and has never successfully been put down since.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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cb3cba6
|
Industrialization came to England but has since left.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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c1f5fd8
|
The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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bd8272c
|
Civilization is an enormous improvement on the lack thereof.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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9f41a3b
|
Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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4eccfdf
|
Harvard has been almost as important to the American Jewish community as the pork-sausage industry.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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badc5cf
|
Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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48aa8f6
|
Italy is not technically part of the Third World, but no one has told the Italians.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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ce9ff90
|
The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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b82bbe6
|
The Italians have had two thousand years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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5492392
|
There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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5972006
|
War will exist as long as there's a food chain.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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7cfec26
|
What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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8ad6b2f
|
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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8e1361e
|
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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b974063
|
Term limits aren't enough. We need jail.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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1b36c96
|
Advocating the expansion of the powers of the state is treason to mankind, goddamnit!
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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451bd26
|
Anyone who thinks he has a better idea of what's good for people than people do is a swine.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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101abed
|
Are we disheartened by the breakup of the family? Nobody who ever met my family is.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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002593f
|
Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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6cea766
|
It's hard to come back from the Balkans and not sound like a Pete Seeger song.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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8b2d776
|
One thing that's certain about going outdoors: When you come back inside, you'll be scratching.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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e366e53
|
People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don't need politics, they have jobs.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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61c9f92
|
Sloths move at the speed of congressional debate but with greater deliberation and less noise.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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2363f43
|
Somalia is so bad that making a mess improves the place.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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5fc6067
|
The typical old-fashioned diet was so bad it almost resembled modern dieting.
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P. J. O'Rourke |
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ef213ca
|
Two key rules of Third World travel: 1. Never run out of whiskey. 2. Never run out of whiskey.
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P. J. O'Rourke |