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33821e4
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Malko protivopolozhnosti v obrazovanieto sa tolkova silni i znachimi, kakto tazi mezhdu otpravianeto na iziskvaniia k'm uchenitsite i instruktiraneto im kakvo mogat i ne mogat da v'rshat, ot edna strana, i zadruzhnoto, samostoiatelno t'rsene ot strana na uchenitsite na nachina da zhiveiat i uchat zaedno, ot druga. Govorim za razlika mezhdu tova da si podgotven da prekarash zhivota si, praveiki kakvoto ti kazvat, i da si podgotven da poemash..
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Alfie Kohn |
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c0c9879
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Children need to be loved as they are, and for who they are. When that happens, they can accept themselves as fundamentally good people, even when they screw up or fall short. And with this basic need met, they're also freer to accept (and help) other people. Unconditional love, in short, is what children require in order to flourish.
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Alfie Kohn |
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dfdcf17
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My mother maintained a sense of loving connection with me even during our worst conflicts" or "When my dad disagrees with me, I know that he still loves me."13 So, how would you like your children to answer that sort of question in five or ten or fifteen years--and how do you think they will answer it?"
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Alfie Kohn |
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5853472
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All rewards have the same effect," one writer declares. "They dilute the pure joy that comes from success itself."
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Alfie Kohn |
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ad3d3a4
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Historians have shown that "parents in the Middle Ages worried about their kids no less than we worry about ours today," and by the nineteenth century there is evidence of bars being placed on windows to protect toddlers from falling out as well as "leading strings so that young children wouldn't wander off during walks."
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spoiled-children
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Alfie Kohn |
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0e90119
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We accept without question that children have to memorize the state capitals even though they could look up that information whenever they need it. Like any other tool for facilitating the completion of a questionable task, rewards offer a "how" answer to what is really a "why" question."
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Alfie Kohn |
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70d0b5e
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Edinstveniiat nachin da pomognem na uchenitsite da stanat pochteni i printsipni lichnosti, a ne khora, koito praviat kakvoto im se kazhe, e da im dadem shans sami da otkriiat smis'l v nravstvenostta. Tova oznachava da im s'deistvame te sami (ili zaedno s drugi) da reshat kak triabva da se d'rzhi chovek. Niama kak da poemem v tazi posoka, ako ne izostavim instrumentariuma na traditsionnata distsiplina. Oshche po-vazhno e da preodoleem prekal..
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Alfie Kohn |
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2683f49
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YOU CAN'T ALWAYS JUDGE a book by its cover, but you can sometimes feel justified in discarding one on the basis of its title. Anything called "How to Motivate Your Work Force," "Making People Productive," or something of the sort can safely be passed over because the enterprise it describes is wholly misconceived. "Strictly speaking," said Douglas McGregor, "the answer to the question managers so often ask of behavioral scientists--'How do ..
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Alfie Kohn |
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e728e7f
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A growing number of educational theorists over the last couple of decades have made the point that facts come and go, while what endures, what we really require, is the ability to look up facts, to interpret them, to connect one with another, and to analyze their importance. Like the old adage "Give someone a fish, he eats for a day; teach him how to fish, he eats for a lifetime," it is the capacity to acquire and use information that lasts..
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Alfie Kohn |
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20ae8f8
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The more we try to measure, control, and pressure learning from without, the more we obstruct the tendencies of students to be actively involved and to participate in their own education. Not only does this result in a failure of students to absorb the cognitive agenda imparted by educators, but it also creates deleterious consequences for the affective agendas of schools [that is, how students feel about learning]. . . . Externally imposed..
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Alfie Kohn |
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b079717
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In the workplace, there is no getting around the fact that "the basic purpose of merit pay is manipulative."
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Alfie Kohn |
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18ee96b
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Some who support more coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled--those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which then is used to justify the use of control.
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Alfie Kohn |
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c74c208
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To examine the claim that rewards are effective at altering behavior, we pose three questions: First, for whom are they effective? Second, for how long are they effective? And third, at what, exactly, are they effective? (I have already hinted at a fourth question--At what cost are they effective?--but
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Alfie Kohn |
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a931dc5
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the use of powerful systematic reward procedures to promote increased engagement in target activities may also produce concomitant decreases in task engagement, in situations where neither tangible nor social extrinsic rewards are perceived to be available.7
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Alfie Kohn |
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4f02b3c
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The research is clear: getting children to focus on their performance can interfere with their ability to remember things about the challenging tasks they just worked on.67
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Alfie Kohn |
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e81ea6e
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There is a time to admire the grace and persuasive power of an influential idea, and there is a time to fear its hold over us. The time to worry is when the idea is so widely shared that we no longer even notice it, when it is so deeply rooted that it feels to us like plain common sense. At the point when objections are not answered anymore because they are no longer even raised, we are not in control: we do not have the idea; it has us.
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Alfie Kohn |
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9ee5ff6
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four accounts of how praise may impede performance: it signals low ability, makes people feel pressured, invites a low-risk strategy to avoid failure, and reduces interest in the task itself.
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Alfie Kohn |
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5c5b25a
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Rewards usually improve performance only at extremely simple--indeed, mindless--tasks, and even then they improve only quantitative performance.
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Alfie Kohn |
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b0176c5
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As it happens, most studies have found that unexpected rewards are much less destructive than the rewards people are told about beforehand and are deliberately trying to obtain. But
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Alfie Kohn |
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eb3c78d
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Good tennis players are those who beat other tennis players, and a good shot during play is one the opponent can't return. But that's not a truth about life or excellence -- it's a truth about tennis. We've created an artificial structure in which one person can't succeed without doing so at someone else's expense, and then we accuse anyone who prefers other kinds of activities of being naive because "there can be only one best -- you're it..
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parenting
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Alfie Kohn |
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1a83174
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Are we encouraging him to make his own judgments about what constitutes a good performance (or a desirable action) ? Are we contributing to, or at least preserving, his ability to choose what kind of person to be? Or are we attempting to manipulate his behavior by getting him to think about whether he has met our criteria? The
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Alfie Kohn |
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90540f9
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But, as with punishments, they can never help someone to develop a commitment to a task or an action, a reason to keep doing it when there's no longer a payoff.
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Alfie Kohn |
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970aa55
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Some behavioral psychologists defend the practice of punishing employees on the grounds that it helps to "clarify management's expectations of performance and promote goal setting."81 (This is comparable to the claim that throwing employees out an office window helps to clarify what floor they work on.) One"
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Alfie Kohn |
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af9ce85
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So what, exactly, is the positive reinforcement that's being suspended when a child is given a time-out? Sometimes he's doing something fun and is forced to quit. But this isn't always the case--and even when it is, I think there's more to the story. When you send a child away, what's really being switched off or withdrawn is your presence, your attention, your love. You may not have thought of it that way. Indeed, you may insist that your ..
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Alfie Kohn |
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2b440d2
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the use of rewards for reading, writing, drawing, acting responsibly and generously, and so on is cause for concern, not only because these things could be intrinsically motivating but because we want to encourage rather than extinguish that motivation.
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Alfie Kohn |
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36db64b
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By contrast, training and goal-setting programs had a far greater impact on productivity than did anything involving payment.32
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Alfie Kohn |
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54b5c6c
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Where did this disposition come from? And what are our long-term goals for people--particularly children--with respect to motivation?
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Alfie Kohn |
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868aa09
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what matters is not just how motivated someone is but the source and nature of that motivation.13
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Alfie Kohn |
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3ee94e5
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When you stand by and let bad things happen, your child experiences the twin disappointments that something went wrong and you did not seem to care enough about her to lift a finger to help prevent the mishap.
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Alfie Kohn |
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32738a7
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if, like Charles Silberman, we think school "should prepare people not just to earn a living but to live a life--a creative, humane, and sensitive life,"22 then children's attitudes toward learning are at least as important as how well they perform at any given task."
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Alfie Kohn |
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f3ee6ca
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But my point is not just that the psychological theory is inadequate; it is that the practice is unproductive. If we do not address the ultimate cause of a problem, the problem will not get solved. This is not to say
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Alfie Kohn |
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58b50f4
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What provokes particular outrage and ridicule is the idea that children might feel good about themselves in the absence of impressive accomplishments, even though, as I'll show, studies find that unconditional self-esteem is a key component of psychological health.
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Alfie Kohn |
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3845765
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In my view, there are two fundamentally different ways one can respond to a child who does something wrong. One is to impose a punitive consequence. Another is to see the situation as a "teachable moment," an opportunity to educate or to solve a problem together. The response here is not "You've misbehaved; now here's what I'm going to do to you" but "Something has gone wrong; what can we do about it?"
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Alfie Kohn |
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60e98c9
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My advice is to make a point of apologizing to your child about something at least twice a month. Why twice a month? I don't know. It sounds about right to me. (Almost all the specific advice in parenting books is similarly arbitrary. At least I admit it.)
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Alfie Kohn |
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a80b3d0
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The failure to adopt other people's points of view, to take an imaginative leap out of oneself, is one way to account for much of the behavior we find, troublesome, from littering to murder. (Kafka once referred to war as "a monstrous failure of imagination.") Perspective taking helps us at once to see others as fundamentally similar to ourselves despite superficial differences (in that we share a common humanity)"
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Alfie Kohn |
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fd912ea
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The most significant factor in an individual's ability to remain in good health may be a sense of control over the events of life," one psychologist has remarked."
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Alfie Kohn |
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5ab0392
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It doesn't matter how motivated students are; what matters is how students are motivated
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Alfie Kohn |
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64d83f9
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Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions
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Alfie Kohn |
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88b1d4e
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Very few things are as dangerous as a bunch of incentive-driven individuals trying to play it safe.
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Alfie Kohn |