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b5a7af3 My feelings about politics and literature and mathematics and the rest of life's minutiae can only be described through a labyrinthine of six-sided questions, but everything that actually matters can be explained by Lindsey fucking Buckingham and Stevie fucking Nicks in four fucking minutes. Chuck Klosterman
3eb1721 I sometimes wonder how many hours of my life I have wasted bitching about keyboards. The use of keyboards and synthesizers is the Roe v. Wade of '80s metal. It was-without question-the lamest instrument a band could use. Chuck Klosterman
9eabc67 We all convince ourselves of things like this- not necessarily about Say Anything, but about any fictionalized portrayals of romance that happen to hit us in the right place, at the right time. romance love truth Chuck Klosterman
9f47585 Jewel moved 432,000 hardcover copies of A Night Without Armor, thereby making her the best-selling American poet of the past fifty years. Chuck Klosterman
6ca3a62 Leadership is a word people use to reconcile any kind of charisma that was impossible to otherwise explain. Chuck Klosterman
cb9753b We spend our lives learning many things, only to discover (again and again) that most of what we've learned is either wrong or irrelevant. A big part of our mind can handle this; a smaller, deeper part cannot. And it's that smaller part that matters more, because that part of our mind is who we really are (whether we like it or not). futility learning Chuck Klosterman
9524654 The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love without any acumen of normalcy. There is no "normal," because everyone is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously. You can't compare your relationship with the playful couple who lives next door because they're probably modeling themselves after Chandler Bing and Monica Geller." Chuck Klosterman
216cddd I never feel weird about being the main character in the nontransferable, nonexistent movie of my life. That's totally fine. What makes me nervous is a growing suspicion that this movie is fucked up and devoid of meaning. The auteur is a nihilist. Chuck Klosterman
2836207 The reason so many well-considered ideas appear laughable in retrospect is that people involuntarily assume that whatever we believe and prioritize now will continue to be believed and prioritized later, even though that almost never happens. It's a mistake that never stops being made. Chuck Klosterman
66e0305 Within these strangely specific conditions, everything is perfect. We are perfect. Chuck Klosterman
1cf4b49 I tend to equate sadness with intelligence. Chuck Klosterman
bcb8dd0 We were just old enough to be warped by childhood and just young enough not to realize it. Chuck Klosterman
00ac4b5 F. Scott Fitzgerald believed inserting exclamation points was the literary equivalent of an author laughing at his own jokes, but that's not the case in the modern age; now, the exclamation point signifies creative confusion. All it illustrates is that even the writer can't tell if what they're creating is supposed to be meaningful, frivolous, or cruel. It's an attempt to insert humor where none exists, on the off chance that a potential re.. online-writing social-networking internet twitter Chuck Klosterman
e8c938e What music "means" is almost completely dependent on the people who sell it and the people who buy it, not the people who make it. Our greatest artists are the ones who understand how they can be interesting and unique within those limitations." Chuck Klosterman
c098209 And this, of course, is the central problem with conspiracy theorists -- once you inflexibly accept that something is a conspiracy, any contrary evidence has the paradoxical effect of making your case stronger. Every contradiction deepens the conspiracy. politics-of-the-united-states Chuck Klosterman
064829b I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters in a poorly written novel about myself, which was poorly written by me. Chuck Klosterman
9825576 What those anti-cookie-baking mothers wanted me to do was turn baseball into soccer. Chuck Klosterman
138d78e Fake love is a very powerful thing. Chuck Klosterman
8f1e545 Up until the mid-eighties, there was always a shared assumption that the Right controlled the currency of outrage; part of what made conservatives "conservative" was their discomfort with profanity and indecency and Elvis Presley's hips. But then -- somewhat swiftly, and somehow academically -- it felt as if the Left was suddenly dictating what was acceptable to be infuriated over (and always for ideological motives, which is why the modifi.. Chuck Klosterman
0931e55 The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy. There is no 'normal' because everybody is being twisted by the same sources simultaneously. truth media Chuck Klosterman
7fcf198 Is there anything more attractive than a polite person with limitless self-belief? There is not. Avoiding villainy is not that different from avoiding loneliness: First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much. Chuck Klosterman
4ec0a7b If a problem is irreversible, is there still an ethical obligation to try to reverse it? ethics-and-moral-philosophy global-warming hard-questions climate-change nihilism ethics Chuck Klosterman
a4c511e Nothing can be appreciated in a vacuum. perspective Chuck Klosterman
2b4dc9a We must start from the premise that--in all likelihood--we are already wrong. And not "wrong" in the sense that we are examining questions and coming to incorrect conclusions, because most of our conclusions are reasoned and coherent. The problem is with the questions themselves." -- Chuck Klosterman
4e1fceb This is the difference between the fox and the hedgehog. Both creatures know that storytelling is everything, and that the only way modern people can understand history and politics is through the machinations of a story. But only the hedgehog knows that storytelling is secretly the problem, which is why the fox is constantly wrong. Chuck Klosterman
4194122 Sometimes I fantasize about the US head of state as a super-lazy, super-moral libertarian despot and think, "That would certainly make everything easier," even though I can't think of one person who'd qualify, except maybe Willie Nelson." politics Chuck Klosterman
0781ec0 There is not, in a material sense, any benefit to being right about a future you will not experience. But there are intrinsic benefits to constantly probing the possibility that our assumptions about the future might be wrong: humility and wonder. future wonder humility Chuck Klosterman
76435fe Every night, we're all having multiple metaphysical experiences, wholly constructed by our subconscious. Almost one-third of our lives happens inside surreal mental projections we create without trying. A handful of highly specific dreams, such as slowly losing one's teeth, are experienced unilaterally by unrelated people in unconnected cultures. But these events are so personal and inscrutable that we've stopped trying to figure out what t.. dreams Chuck Klosterman
0795d7d I think there's a greater detriment with our escalating progression toward the opposite extremity--the increasingly common ideology that assures people they're right about what they believe. And note that I used the word "detriment." I did not use the word "danger," because I don't think the notion of people living under the misguided premise that they're right is often dangerous. Most day-to-day issues are minor, the passage of time will d.. Chuck Klosterman
9acdaf2 So often does it happen that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know there is no key. Chuck Klosterman
d5f2091 And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records. life-saver saved-my-life cancer punk-rock Chuck Klosterman
c98279f the future is a teenage crackhead who makes shit up as he goes along. metaphor future crackhead Chuck Klosterman
5efe892 Nora Ephron accidentally ruined a lot of lives. Chuck Klosterman
8e320d0 It's nice to think that the weirdos get to decide what matters about the past, since it's the weirdos who care the most. history weirdos Chuck Klosterman
54f1531 I rarely remember the names or faces of nonfictional people Chuck Klosterman
a3b432d The most villainous move any person can make is tying a woman to the railroad tracks. Chuck Klosterman
8ecb025 So if you've seen Twelve Monkeys more than twice, you're probably a Calvinist. Chuck Klosterman
552f0c9 The Eagles' song "Take It Easy") is clearly a problem of a young man, as no one over thirty-five could sustain interest in seven simultaneous relationships unless they're biracial and amazing at golf." Chuck Klosterman
a446a82 I wake up, I feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that I have to learn everything again. loniliness Chuck Klosterman
9d77eb5 Ignorance is not bliss. That platitude is totally wrong. You will not be intellectually happier if you know fewer things. Learning should be a primary goal of living. But what if ignorance feels better--not psychologically, but physically? That would explain a lot of human incongruities. Chuck Klosterman
c74de40 Regardless of how liberal Massachusetts may seem, the Celtics were totally GOP. Like Thomas Jefferson, K. C. Jones did not believe in a strong central government: The Celtic players mostly coached themselves. They practiced when they felt like practicing and pulled themselves out of games when they deemed it appropriate, and they wanted to avoid anything taxing. They wanted to avoid taxes. And they excelled by attacking the world in the sam.. Chuck Klosterman
fe3976d I enjoy hating musicians far more than I enjoy appreciating them. As far as I'm concerned, when someone becomes a rock star, he quits being a person. Chuck Klosterman
7be63f9 Booze is the greatest of all equalizers. Rich drunks and poor drunks both pass out the same way. Chuck Klosterman
79f3966 And when they finally demanded that I had to stop keeping score and that I needed to play every future contest as an exhibition, I casually made the kind of statement sixteen-year-olds should not make to forty-six-year-old Midwestern housewives: "Why are you telling me how to do my job?" I asked. "It's not like I show up in your kitchen and tell you when to bake cookies." -- Chuck Klosterman
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