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0b5a473
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Night again, the insects are loud, the moths are killing themselves on the lamp. Two hours ago I sat on the veranda looking out at the dusk, filled with envy for each living entity--bird, bug, blossom, reptile, tree, and vine--that doesn't bear the burden of the knowledge of good and evil. The abyss is full of reality, the abyss experiences itself, the abyss is alive
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Denis Johnson |
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46f5285
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Her zealous hope of Heaven made it hell there.
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Denis Johnson |
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9a7ed78
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Sloth kept him in bed awhile. Restlessness drove him downstairs to the tiny court behind his kitchen, where the sun made more mist. Under its warmth everything gave off ghosts. They work from the bricks, rose with a deep reluctance, disappeared.
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Denis Johnson |
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d1185c5
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The Americans won't win. They're not fighting for their homeland. They just want to be good. In order to be good, they just have to fight awhile and then leave.
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vietnam-war
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Denis Johnson |
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c613bd4
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The woman hurt me. She looked so soft and perfect, like a mannequin made of flesh, flesh all the way through.
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Denis Johnson |
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476003b
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But often, thereafter, when Grainier heard the wolves at dusk, he laid his head back and howled for all he was worth, because it did him good. It flushed out something heavy that tended to collect in his heart, and after an evening's program with his choir of British Columbian wolves he felt warm and buoyant.
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Denis Johnson |
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e9c4406
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Well," I said, "if the saints think reincarnation's a game worth playing ..." Mark said: "I mean, sure, something's happening over and over, but what? Maybe it's just the breath in and out of our lungs." I pointed out we didn't need a metaphor for breathing--"You just talked about it quite literally."
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Denis Johnson |
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64adbaf
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He thought he might as well. "There's really only one question." "What's that?" "Did God really kill Himself?" Leanna wasn't smiling now. She was staring at him, but softly. "Who are you?" she asked him. Whatever she meant by the question, he didn't want to answer it. He wiped his face with his napkin, and in reference to the warmth of the place said, "Man." --
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Denis Johnson |
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faedc33
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Psy Ops is all about unusual thinking, man. We want ideas blown up right to where they're gonna pop. We're on the cutting edge of reality itself. Right where it turns into a dream.
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Denis Johnson |
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9be503d
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We stared at him and felt like old maids. He, on the other hand, was the bride of Death.
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Denis Johnson |
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83fdc06
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Generally the closest I ever came to wondering about the meaning of it all was to consider that I must be the victim of a joke.
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Denis Johnson |
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bb8e1c7
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It was a long, narrow place, like a train car that wasn't going anywhere.
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Denis Johnson |
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42d070b
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You bury a friend--that gives you an enemy. It calls you more deeply into the cause. Then the time comes when you kill a friend. And that might drive you away. It can also have the opposite result--to deafen you against your own voice when it wants to ask questions.
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Denis Johnson |
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c336278
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I was a whimpering dog inside, nothing more than that. I looked for work because people seemed to believe I should look for work, and when I found a job I believed I was happy about it because these same people - counselors and Narcotics Anonymous members and such - seemed to think a job was a happy thing.
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Denis Johnson |
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ccbec2f
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The appeal was obvious, the cleanly geometry, the assurances of physical ballistics, the organic richness of the wooden lanes and the mute servitude of the machines that raised the pins and swept away the fallen, above all the powerlessness and suspense, the ball held, the ball directed, the ball traveling away like a son, beyond hope of influence. A slow, large, powerful game. Sands
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Denis Johnson |
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77c7a79
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Skip had never bowled, never before this moment even observed. The appeal was obvious, the cleanly geometry, the assurances of physical ballistics, the organic richness of the wooden lanes and the mute servitude of the machines that raised the pins and swept away the fallen, above all the powerlessness and suspense, the ball held, the ball directed, the ball traveling away like a son, beyond hope of influence. A slow, large, powerful game. ..
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Denis Johnson |
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620d0cf
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I knew him, this John Smith. Once at a party he tried to sell me a gun, and later at the same party he made everyone quiet down for a few minutes because I was singing along with the radio, and he liked my voice.
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Denis Johnson |
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6bea6d3
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But nothing I could think up, no matter how dramatic or completely horrible, ever made her repent or love me the way she had at first, before she really knew me.
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Denis Johnson |
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f50cb09
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But in the deep red event behind the stove's glass window the filament of time was never tangled, nothing had a name or a reason, everything was itself, and the things she would always know, even if you took her head away, even if you killed her, were confirmed: It catches, then burns, then blazes; it rages and sings, it wanes, it shifts and flares, it burns a little longer and then weakens, whatever it is, and goes out. But if you lay the ..
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Denis Johnson |
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dfe0a90
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AFTER MAYAKOVKSY by Denis Johnson It's after one. You're probably alone. All night the moon rings like a telephone in an empty booth above our separateness. Now is the hour one answers. I am home. Hello, my heart, my God, my President, my darling: I'm alarmed by the alarm clock's iridescent face, hung like a charm from darkness's fat ear. This accident that was my life will have its witnesses: now, while the world lies wholly motionless and..
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Denis Johnson |
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a606fa2
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In fact he was no longer persuaded that blood and revolution made useful tools for altering the concepts in a person's mind. Who said it?--probably Confucius--" I can't beat a sculpture from a stone with a sledgehammer; I can't free the soul of a man by violence." Peace was here, peace was now. Peace promised in any other time or place was a lie."
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Denis Johnson |
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c0e1f95
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There's nothing wrong with me"--I'm surprised I let those words out. But it's always been my tendency to lie to doctors, as if good health consisted only of the ability to fool them."
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Denis Johnson |
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9cf2525
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They ran a few syringesful into me, and I felt like I'd turned from a light, Styrofoam thing into a person. I held up my hands before my eyes. The hands were as still as a sculpture's.
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Denis Johnson |
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d689d0c
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The feeling that he was afraid of me was invigorating.
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Denis Johnson |
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faae028
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Gladys had seen all of this, and she made it his to know. She'd lost her future to death, and lost her child to life.
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Denis Johnson |
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244bef3
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Sands vanquished a rush of fear and said emphatically, "I'm your man, sir." "Get in there. Have intercourse with snakes. Eat human flesh. Learn everything." "That's pretty broad."
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Denis Johnson |
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4cf5561
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How could I tell you about it? It was a dream. It didn't make any fucking sense, man. But I do remember it.
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Denis Johnson |
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6c4bfe1
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No more pretending for him! He was completely and openly a mess. Meanwhile the rest of us go on trying to fool each other.
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Denis Johnson |
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a548caf
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Sooner or later the mind grasps at a thought and follows it into the labyrinth, one thought branching into another. Then the labyrinth caves in on itself and you find yourself outside. You were never inside--it was a dream.
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Denis Johnson |
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60332e7
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She looked up out of her voice and saw the angel....and the entire message had no words. The entire message will be only the beat and direction of time. Yes is Now. The angel who says, "It's time." "Is it time?" she asked. "Does it hurt?" He will have the most beautiful face she has ever seen. "Oh, babe." The angel starts to cry. "You can't imagine," he said."
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literature
seraphim
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Denis Johnson |
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283c8e0
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The jolt of fear had burned all the red out of my blood.
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Denis Johnson |
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fd1c945
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Staring at his own face reflected in a cup of bitter karma. For
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Denis Johnson |
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8294aac
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Pointless labor, useless trash, but for the bureaucrat nothing's trash until he affronts his soul by throwing it out.
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Denis Johnson |