|
38169de
|
When I sit with my wife and give her twenty minutes of my undivided attention and she does the same for me, we are giving each other twenty minutes of life. We will never have those twenty minutes again; we are giving our lives to each other. It is a powerful emotional communicator of love.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
c627805
|
There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse's criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
cdfc56f
|
Many people mess up every new day with what happened yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday, and in so doing pollute a potentially wonderful day. When bitterness, resentment, and revenge are allowed to live in the human heart, words of affirmation will be impossible to speak. The best thing we can do with past failures is to let them be history.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
1557162
|
We are influenced by our personality but not controlled by it.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
2ec937e
|
Make time every day to share with each other some of the events of the day. When you spend more time on Facebook than you do listening to each other, you can end up more concerned about your hundred "friends" than about your spouse."
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
551dab5
|
A central aspect to quality time is togetherness. I do not mean proximity... Togetherness has to do with focused attention.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
06328e8
|
When my spouse lovingly invests time, energy, and effort in me, I believe that I am significant. Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth, and security. When I experience love, it influences all of those needs positively. I am now freed to develop my potential. I am more secure in my self-worth and can now turn my efforts outward instead of being obsessed with my own needs. True love always liberates. In th..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
c3867d4
|
We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever. We will always have the wonderful feelings that we have at this moment. Nothing could ever come between us. Nothing will ever overcome our love for each other. [..] Unfortunately, the eternality of the in-love experience is fiction, not fact. The late psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov conducted long range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores o..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
fb9c157
|
The choice to love is the choice to take initiative. It is the choice to do or say something for the other person's benefit, something that would help make them a better person, something that would enrich their lives or make life more meaningful for them.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
6153581
|
Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
8f7122f
|
lys lHb 'n tHSl `l~ m tryd bl 'n tf`l shyy' dh 'hmy@ lmn tHb, wrGm hdh fnn `ndm ntlq~ klmt tshjy`y@ mmn nHb fn dhlk ykhlq ldyn Hl@ mn lthr@ wlyjby@ ltlby@ rGbt lshryk.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
75aa78b
|
But if, once we return to the real world of human choice, we choose to be kind and generous, that is real love.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
f79fcc8
|
Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. We are sending double messages. Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
b12b1ba
|
Remember, emotions themselves are neither good nor bad. They are simply our psychological responses to the events of life.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
0730458
|
It may surprise you that the primary lifetime threat to your child is his or her own anger.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
20b8ee8
|
n `trfk bljhwd lty ybdhlh shrykk ky ySyr shkhSan 'fDl, wthnk `l~ Sfth lyjby@, sydf`h llqym bmzyd mn ltGyyrt
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
48b1fff
|
What we dislike in others is often a weakness in our own lives.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
bc69eb1
|
life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments but in relationships.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
388c12f
|
Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does. No matter what he does (or does not do), the parent still loves him. Sadly, some parents display a love that is conditional; it depends on something other than their children just being. Conditional love is based on performance and is often associated with training techniques that offer gifts, rewards, and privileges to children who behav..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
156ef34
|
Welcome to the real world of marriage, where hairs are always on the sink and little white spots cover the mirror, where arguments center on which way the toilet paper comes off and whether the lid should be up or down. It is a world where shoes do not walk to the closet and drawers do not close themselves, where coats do not like hangers and socks go AWOL during laundry. In this world, a look can hurt and a word can crush. Intimate lovers ..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
4f1c877
|
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love. "I love you. I care about you, and I choose to forgive you. Even though my feelings of hurt may linger, I will not allow what has happened to come between us. I hope that we can learn from this experience. You are not a failure because you have failed. You are my spouse, and t..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
241a125
|
Parents who treat the teenager in the same manner in which they treated the child will not experience the same results they received earlier. When the teenager does not respond as the child responded, the parents are now pushed to try something different. Without proper training, parents almost always revert to efforts at coercion, which often lead to arguments, loss of temper, and perhaps, verbal abuse. Such behavior is emotionally devasta..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
7744308
|
Gifts are visual symbols of love.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
9ea340e
|
Nothing has more potential for strengthening one's sense of well-being than effectively loving and being loved.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
c508220
|
Can emotional love be reborn? You bet! The key is to learn the primary love language of your spouse and choose to speak it.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
8bf49ae
|
We even fall in love with love.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
fef728f
|
Women like to be affirmed verbally, just as men like to be affirmed verbally. They tend to pull away from dating partners who do not give affirmation. Lack of verbal affirmation is interpreted as lack of love.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
21ff2f7
|
You can simply remember that behavioral expressions of love can be divided into physical touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
df6630a
|
Many children go to school ill-prepared to learn because they are not emotionally ready to learn. Children need to reach appropriate emotional levels of maturity before they are able to learn effectively at their age level. Simply sending a child to a better school or changing teachers is not the answer. We must make sure our children are emotionally ready to learn. (See chapter 9 for more on
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
6eb33bc
|
The best way to predict future is to create it." Abraham Lincoln"
|
|
leadership
strategy
|
Gary Chapman |
|
3a322b7
|
A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a view to understanding the other person's thoughts, feelings, and desires.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
80b592d
|
When your spouse's emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
88b7775
|
Love won't allow you to bear burdens alone. -- Tina Givens --
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
e717391
|
Loving others sometimes requires a love far greater and purer than our own. -- Dawn Lilly
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
506c3a6
|
A soft answer turns away anger.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
cacd11d
|
Some parents find the idea of asking permission to share their perspective ridiculous, or even offensive. "Why should I have to ask my teen permission to speak?" one father asked. The question is not whether the parents have the right to speak to the teenager, they do. The question is: "Do you want your teenager to listen to what you are saying?" Asking permission recognizes that she is an individual, and she has the choice of hearing what ..
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
3787c9a
|
We need not agree on everything, but we must find a way to handle our differences so that they do not become divisive.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
0309982
|
Discipline is not a negative word. It comes from the Greek word "to train."
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
00052e6
|
When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. --Psalm 94:19
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
3c1a19e
|
A gift is a gift only when given as a genuine expression of love, not as an effort to cover over past failures.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
54df1a5
|
Genuine service demands that we speak the truth in love. We do not serve each other by avoiding one another's weaknesses.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
daf3d9c
|
Love helps those that are hard to pray for turn into people who are easy to pray for. -- Donna Collins Tinsley --
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
0d97560
|
Our spouse will usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |
|
e617eb6
|
true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.
|
|
|
Gary Chapman |