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db3f64e
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At Sea Oak there's no sea and no oak, just a hundred subsidized apartments and a rear view of FedEx. Min and Jade are feeding their babies while watching How My Child Died Violently. Min's my sister. Jade's our cousin. How My Child Died Violently is hosted by Matt Merton, a six-foot-five blond who's always giving the parents shoulder rubs and telling them they've been sainted by pain. Today's show features a ten-year-old who killed a five-y..
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George Saunders |
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57a7cc4
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So why grieve? The worst of it, for him, is over.) Because I loved him so and am in the habit of loving him and that love must take the form of fussing and worry and doing. Only there is nothing left to do. Free
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George Saunders |
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71360fa
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Why was it, she sometimes wondered, that in dreams we can't do the simplest things? Like a crying puppy is standing on some broken glass and you want to pick it up and brush the shards off its pads but you can't because you're balancing a ball on your head. Or you're driving and there's this old guy on crutches and you go, to Mr. Feder, your Driver's Ed teacher, Should I swerve? And he's like, Uh, probably. But then you hear this big clunk ..
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humor
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George Saunders |
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7ee2c4a
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which made me feel the kind of shame you know you're not going to cure by saying sorry, and where the only thing to do is: go out, get more shame.
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George Saunders |
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4fdc367
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A fortunate birth, in other words, is a shock absorber." -The Thought Experiment"
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George Saunders |
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3fa9a54
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I say it must have been great to grow up when men were men. He says men have always been what the are now, namely incapable of coping with life without the intervention of God the Almighty. Then in the oven behind him my pizza starts smoking and he says case in point.
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men
pizza
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George Saunders |
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588b8d3
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He was not perfect; he was, remember, a little boy. Could be wild, naughty, overwrought. He was a boy. However - it must be said - he was quite a good boy.
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George Saunders |
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595634b
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Because, as someone who does feng shui for a living, there's no way I could do my feng shui if I was whacked out on crack, because my business is about discerning energy fields, and if you're cracked up, or on pot, or even if you've had too much coffee, the energy field gets all wonky, believe me, I know used to smoke!
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George Saunders |
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be29ee7
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and finally, having lost what was to be lost, my torn and black heart rebels saying enough already, enough, this is as low as I go
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George Saunders |
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153b55f
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Thomas: Wow, that treehouse is like twice the size of our actual house. Pam (whispering): Don't say 'like.' Me: Oh, ha ha, let him say what he wants, let's not be-- Thomas: That treehouse is twice the size of our actual house.
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George Saunders |
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5750917
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Our country is big, let us be big.
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George Saunders |
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311fb54
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Did he still want it? Did he still want to live? Yes, yes, oh, God, yes, please. Because, O.K., the thing was--he saw it now, was starting to see it--if some guy, at the end, fell apart, and said or did bad things, or had to be helped, helped to quite a considerable extent? So what? What of it? Why should he not do or say weird things or look strange or disgusting? Why should the shit not run down his legs? Why should those he loved not lif..
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illness
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George Saunders |
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480b68d
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I'm bleeding at the knees and choking from smoke and have no idea who these people are or where I'm going, but at least I'm off the hook in terms of the hand jobs.
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George Saunders |
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69c30bb
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Sometimes with all the teasing his days were subtenable.
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George Saunders |
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da1f5c6
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What a degraded cosmos. What a case of something starting out nice and going bad.
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George Saunders |
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ffe76b5
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We have loved each other well, dear Willie, but now, for reasons we cannot understand, that bond has been broken. But our bond can never be broken. As long as I live, you will always be with me, child.
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George Saunders |
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5f569dc
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We Three had never Wed, not truly Lov'd, but once Night fell again, and if we found ourselves Resident here, might strike the 'never'- stanley 'prefesser' lippert For uni we are ended, 'never' may not be truly said. jack 'malarky' fuller And love may yet be ours gene 'rascal' kane
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George Saunders |
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a5604d6
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After that came her biggie: a triple murder--her dealer, the dealer's sister, and the dealer's sister's boyfriend. Reading that made me feel a little funny that we'd fucked and I'd loved her.
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humor
regret
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George Saunders |
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de74480
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Wow wow wow is all I can say! Remember how I always buy lunchtime Scratch-Off ticket? Have I said? Maybe did not say? Well, every Friday, to reward self for good week, I stop at store near home, treat self to Butterfinger, plus Scratch-Off ticket. Sometimes, if hard week, two Butterfingers. Sometimes, if very hard week, three Butterfingers. But, if three Butterfingers, no Scratch-Off. But Friday won ten grand!! On Scratch-Off! Dropped both ..
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lottery
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George Saunders |
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a288340
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I can look back and see that I've spent much of my life in a cloud of things that have tended to push "being kind" to the periphery. Things like: Anxiety. Fear. Insecurity. Ambition. The mistaken belief that enough accomplishment will rid me of all that anxiety, fear, insecurity, and ambition. The belief that if I can only accrue enough -- enough accomplishment, money, fame -- my neuroses will disappear."
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George Saunders |
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34b6733
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Mid-December then and still no snow. Strange Chicago creches appeared in front yards: Baby Jesus, freed from the manger, leaned against a Santa sled half his height. He was crouching, as if about to jump; he wore just a diaper. Single strings of colored lights lay across bushes, as if someone had hatefully thrown them there. We patched the roof of a Jamaican immigrant whose apartment had nothing in it but hundreds of rags, spread across the..
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George Saunders |
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fb19898
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Note to self: Try to extend positive feelings associated with Scratch-Off win into all areas of life. Be bigger presence at work. Race up ladder (joyfully, w/smile on face), get raise. Get in best shape of life, start dressing nicer. Learn guitar? Make point of noticing beauty of world? Why not educate self re. birds, flowers, trees, constellations, become true citizen of natural world, walk around neighborhood w/kids, patiently teaching ki..
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George Saunders |
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a8a20eb
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Then, the massive hands lifted the new people up to a pair of giant indescribable lips and whispered, in a fundamentally untranslatable Creator-language, something that meant, approximately: THIS TIME, BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER. REMEMBER: EACH OF YOU WANTS TO BE HAPPY. AND I WANT YOU TO. EACH OF YOU WANTS TO LIVE FREE FROM FEAR. AND I WANT YOU TO. EACH OF YOU ARE SECRETLY AFRAID YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. BUT YOU ARE, TRUST ME, YOU ARE.
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election
fear
kindness
politics
satire
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George Saunders |
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c819010
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No, war will not be stopped. But it is a comfort, in the midst of a war, to read an antiwar book this good, and be reminded that just because something keeps happening, doesn't mean we get to stop regretting it. Massacres are bad, the death of innocents is bad, hate is bad, and there's something cleansing about hearing it said so purely.
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George Saunders |
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27deb8d
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All night I have bad dreams about severed hands. In one I'm eating chili and a hand comes out of my bowl and gives me the thumbs-down. I
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George Saunders |
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6c0f55d
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Matt Merton comes back and explains that last week's show on suicide, in which the parents watched a reenactment of their son's suicide, was a healing process for the parents, then shows a video of the parents admitting it was a healing process. ("Sea Oak")"
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George Saunders |
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89b469b
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After dinner the babies get fussy and Min puts a mush of ice cream and Hershey's syrup in their bottles and we watch The Worst That Could Happen, a half-hour of computer simulations of tragedies that have never actually occurred but theoretically could. A kid gets hit by a train and flies into a zoo, where he's eaten by wolves. A man cuts his hand off chopping wood and while wandering around screaming for help is picked up by a tornado and ..
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George Saunders |
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7131c1d
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I have a sense that God is unfair and preferentially punishes his weak, his dumb, his fat, his lazy. I believe he takes more pleasure in his perfect creatures, and cheers them on like a brainless dad as they run roughshod over the rest of us. He gives us a need for love, and no way to get any. He gives us a desire to be liked, and personal attributes that make us utterly un-likable. Having placed his flawed and needy children in a world of ..
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George Saunders |
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4f3acea
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They were sorry, they were saying with their bodies, they were accepting each other back, and that feeling, that feeling of being accepted back again and again, of someone's affection for you expanding to encompass whatever new flawed thing had just manifested in you, that was the deepest, dearest thing he'd ever--
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George Saunders |
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8d77cb7
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Kill every dog, every cat, she said slowly. Kill every mouse, every bird. Kill every fish. Anyone objects, kill them too.
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George Saunders |
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3b8d447
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His mind was freshly inclined toward sorrow; toward the fact that the world was full of sorrow; that everyone labored under some burden of sorrow; that all were suffering; that whatever way one took in this world, one must try to remember that all were suffering (none content; all wronged, neglected, overlooked, misunderstood), and therefore one must do what one could to lighten the load of those with whom one came into contact; that his cu..
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George Saunders |
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a803282
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Father," she said late one night. "I can't keep up. Our goats are dying. We're going to have to ask the neighbors for help." "Have we ever done that before?" he said.
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George Saunders |
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c059a93
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Linda Hertney: It's like a final goodbye from Todd. (Linda = nut. Once claimed crow on ledge was reincarnation of her dead husband. Said she could telly by way crow's head was cocked disapprovingly at large lunch she was eating.)
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George Saunders |
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bb76cfa
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Ted, I swear to God, quothe he.
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George Saunders |
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c7f19cb
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So here's something I know to be true, although it's a little corny, and I don't quite know what to do with it: What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness. Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering and I responded ... sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.
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George Saunders |
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ed70058
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A warm breeze arose, fragrant with all manner of things that give comfort: grass, sun, beer, bread, quilts, cream--this list being different for each of us, each being differently comforted. roger
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George Saunders |
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d9f0a61
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Sometimes we might poop a bit if we are fresh. Which is just what I did, out on the cart that day: I pooped a bit while fresh, in my sick-box, out of rage, and what was the result? I have kept that poop with me all this time, and as a matter of fact--I hope you do not find this rude, young sir, or off-putting, I hope it does not impair our nascent friendship--that poop is still down there, at this moment, in my sick-box, albeit much dryer!
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George Saunders |
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b3e101f
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Doubt will fester as long as we live. And when one occasion of doubt has been addressed, another and then another will arise in its place.
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George Saunders |
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3867bb6
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But not to worry. Those of you who have no need to be worried should not in the least be worried. As for those of you who should be worried, it's a little late to start worrying now, you should have started months ago, when it could've done you some good, because at this point, what's decided is decided, or would have been decided, if those false rumors we are denying, the rumors about the firings which would be starting this week if they w..
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George Saunders |
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4e83dc2
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As the van door starts to close, Brad suddenly realizes that the instant the doors close completely, the van interior will become the terrifying bland gray space he's heard about all his life, the place one goes when one has been Written Out. The van interior becomes the bland gray space. From the front yard TV comes the brash martial music that indicates UrgentUpdateNewsMinute. Animal rights activists have expressed concern over the recen..
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George Saunders |
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8252fd7
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So say you are charged with, you and some of your colleagues, lifting a heavy dead whale carcass onto a flatbed.
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George Saunders |
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cf20f7c
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Weird sunshower around three. Linda Hertney: It's like a final goodbye from Todd. (Linda = nut. Once claimed crow on ledge was reincarnation of her dead husband. Said she could tell by way crow's head was cocked disapprovingly at large lunch she was eating.)
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George Saunders |
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5de8dae
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Oh, you break my heart. Why does everything have to be so sad to you? Why do you have so many negative opinions about things you don't know about, like foreign countries and diseases and everything? Why can't you be more like Chief Wayne? He has zero opinions. He's just upbeat.
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George Saunders |
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5a152d7
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Three cars for two grown-ups, I thought. What a country. What a couple selfish dicks my wife and her new husband were. I could see that, over the years, my babies would slowly transform into selfish-dick babies, then selfish-dick toddlers, kids, teenagers, and adults, with me all that time skulking around like some unclean suspect uncle.
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George Saunders |