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4dea4b4
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If you're an adult male who sees no flaws in his father, you're an insane person.
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John Mulaney |
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79bfba9
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I was a cool person at one time. I used to do cocaine.
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John Mulaney |
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8bdd7c1
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I dislike the Founding Fathers immensely.
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John Mulaney |
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728c68a
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Apparently I have no boundaries. And I need 'em.
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John Mulaney |
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301796c
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I'm not saying it's a bad movie. It is, but that's not my point.
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John Mulaney |
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8ab8544
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I was raised Catholic. I don't know if you can tell that from the everything about me.
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John Mulaney |
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e0d82c9
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I like having a puppy that's a bulldog, 'cause it's like having a baby that is also a grandma.
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John Mulaney |
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5ee6189
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You remember being 12, when you're like, "No one look at me or I'll kill myself."
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John Mulaney |
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65d3b14
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I don't know what my body is for other than just taking my head from room to room.
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John Mulaney |
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cd16fc8
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Famous people are weird as shit. They're all weird. Your suspicions are correct.
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John Mulaney |
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1320740
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Building a gazebo in the middle of the civil war, that'd be like doing stand-up comedy now.
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John Mulaney |