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0bd3aca
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I'm so horny the crack of dawn isn't safe.
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John Sandford |
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0a45c83
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Oh yeah, I heard you got born again.' she said. 'Which you needed since they fucked up the first time.
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John Sandford |
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c28daa2
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Time passes, but sometimes it beats the shit out of you as it goes.
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John Sandford |
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f73d152
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Somewhere along the line, it occurred to him that he hadn't spoken to Virgil Flowers. He'd probably taken the day off, and knowing Flowers, he'd done it in a boat. The thing about Flowers was, in Lucas's humble opinion, you could send him out for a loaf of bread and he'd find an illegal bread cartel smuggling in heroin-saturated wheat from Afghanistan. Either that, or he'd be fishing in a muskie tournament, on government time. You had to ke..
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John Sandford |
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9a92d34
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It's the way of the world, man. There are the worker bees, and the manager bees. The worker bees take care of the work, the manager bees take care of themselves.
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John Sandford |
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6bae8cd
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First she got Jesus, probably fifteen years ago, and that didn't work out, so she tried Scientology, and that didn't help, but it cost a lot of money, so she tried Buddhism and yoga, and those didn't work, so she started drinking. I think that helped, because she's still drinking.
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John Sandford |
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3dbdd10
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If the AG had been a lightbulb instead of a lawyer, he would have been about a twenty-watt.
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John Sandford |
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fe53b7b
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So she made no secret about being gay?" "Why should she?" the little old lady asked. "Nobody would care but a bunch of stuffy old men."
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John Sandford |
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8bce094
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I once defenestrated a guy. The cops got all pissed off at me. I was drunk, but they said that was no excuse." "Ah well," Virgil said. Then, "The guy hurt bad?" "Cracked his hip. Landed on a Prius. Really fucked up the Prius, too." "I can tell you, just now is the only time in my life I ever heard 'defenestration' used in a sentence," Virgil said. "It's a word you learn after you done it," Morton said. "Yup. The New Prague AmericInn, 2009."..
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John Sandford |
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20542f4
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When any worthwhile thing is done in the world, it's usually done by somebody weird.
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michele-cook
the-singular-menace
outrage
mgg
weird
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John Sandford |
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92ff4fc
|
Flowers said, "I got two bottles of water in the car." "Get them. And get your gun," Lucas said. "The gun? You think?" "No. I just like to see you wearing the fuckin' gun for a change," Lucas said. "C'mon, let's get moving."
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John Sandford |
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73fd1c1
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Her Pan-Cake makeup was cracking like a dried-out Dakota lake bed.
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John Sandford |
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ee86298
|
The thing about Botox is that when you've had too much, you then have to fake reactions just to look human--and it's impossible to distinguish real fake reactions from fake fake reactions.
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humor
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John Sandford |
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b3707ab
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Nuts don't come in bunches. Only grapes do.
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John Sandford |
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336e3db
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They were shot with a shotgun and put in garbage bags and thrown under a bridge," Shrake said. "If it wasn't murder, it was a really weird accident."
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murder
shotgun
sarcasm
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John Sandford |
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0a54219
|
I used to be a Catholic, and when I first started police work, I worried about that. I saw a lot of people dead or dying for no apparent reason . . . not people I killed, just people. Little kids who'd drowned, people dying in auto accidents and with heart attacks and strokes. I saw a lineman burn to death, up on a pole, little bits and pieces, and nobody could help . . . . I watched them go, screaming and crying and sometimes just lying th..
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John Sandford |
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a9783d1
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Detective Virgil and Barlow [bomb-technician] arranged to meet at the Starbucks. Virgil got a grande hot chocolate, no-fat milk, no foam, no whipped cream, and Barlow got a venti latte with an extra shot. As they took a corner table, Virgil said, "Remind me not to stand next to you if you're handling a bomb. That much caffeine, you gotta be shakin' like a hundred-dollar belly dancer." "At least I'm not drinking like a little girl," Barlow s..
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John Sandford |
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6032087
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The press conference was held in a courtroom at the new county courthouse, a space that did its best to translate justice into laminated wood.
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John Sandford |
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16b67f5
|
Does Raggedy Ann have a cotton crotch?
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John Sandford |
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4ec89f3
|
Lucas's position was supine: that is, whenever he heard people arguing about it, he wanted to lie down and take a nap.
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John Sandford |
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56e7882
|
he thought a bit about God, and whether He might be some kind of universal digital computer, subject to the occasional bug or hack. Was it possible that politicians and hedge-fund operators were some kind of garbled cosmic computer code? That the Opponent, instead of having horns and a forked tail, was a fat bearded guy drinking Big Gulps and eating anchovy pizzas and writing viruses down in a hellish basement? That prayers weren't answered..
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John Sandford |
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d783778
|
Even thinking was hard.
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John Sandford |
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8ffb4c4
|
I'll bring pajamas " she said. "Yeah? You have any idea how old I am?" "Not nearly as old as you're gonna be by midnight."
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John Sandford |
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e3b5fda
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there are as many nuts on the left as there are on the right, and in the long run, the lefties are probably more dangerous.
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John Sandford |
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abfb78e
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Does a chicken have lips?
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John Sandford |
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af34f46
|
Carol Druze Was A Stone Killer.
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shiver
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John Sandford |
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352783b
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trust no one, everything breaks, nothing works as advertised, and if anything can go wrong, it will.
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John Sandford |
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aad1510
|
DDT stood for Dangerous Darrell Thomas. Thomas had given himself the name when he was riding with a motorcycle club and was interviewed for a public radio magazine. The magazine writer got it wrong, though, and referred to him as TDT--Terrible Darrell Thompson--which lost something of its intent when expressed as initials; and since the writer got the last name wrong, too, Thomas never again trusted the media.
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John Sandford |
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e77a2bd
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I am not so afraid that I cannot see the truth.
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fenfang
john-sandford
michele-cook
the-singular-menace
truth
outrage
mgg
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John Sandford |
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f222074
|
The day after the assignation with Barstad, the low stacked-heels of Charlotte Neumann, an ordained Episcopalian priest, author of New Art Modalities: Woman/Sin, Sin/Woman, S/in/ister, which, the week before, had broken through the top-10,000 barrier of the Barnes & Noble on-line bestseller list, and who was, not incidentally, the department chairperson, echoed down the hallway and stopped at his door.
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John Sandford |
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8ac95f3
|
Never been there, the Middle East," Qatar said vaguely."
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John Sandford |
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ec57323
|
If there were honorary degrees for assholes, he'd be a doctor of everything," Lily said."
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John Sandford |
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ed4ab8a
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Guy goes to the doc, and he says, 'Doc, you gotta help me. I got this terrible headache. It feels like somebody is pounding a nail through my forehead. Like I got a big pair of pliers squeezing behind my ears. It's tension from my job. I can't stop working right now, but the headache's killing me. You gotta help.' So the doc says, 'You know, I do have a cure. Exactly the same thing happened to me--I was working too much, and I got exactly t..
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John Sandford |
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a6de490
|
I could live here," Del said. "No, you couldn't. You'd turn into a coot and hang out at the general store, with your fly down," Lucas said. "You'd be known for goosing middle-aged women. You'd be the town embarrassment."
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John Sandford |
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256672e
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Okra is essentially a squid that grows in the ground instead of swimming in the ocean.
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John Sandford |
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532f159
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NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: Has excessive feelings of self-importance. Reacts to criticism with rage. Takes advantage of other people. Disregards the feelings of others. Preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, and intelligence. * * *
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John Sandford |
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5918f73
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What joke?" "The one about the guy who rolls a wheelbarrow full of sawdust out of a construction site every night." "I don't know that one," Cochran said. Lucas said, "The security guy keeps checking and checking and checking the wheelbarrow, thinking the guy had to be stealing something. Never found anything hidden in the sawdust, and nobody cared about the sawdust. Couple of years later, they bump into each other, and the security guy say..
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John Sandford |
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3bba38d
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Felt the dark finger of hypocrisy stroking his soul.
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John Sandford |
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9550c41
|
LIKE ANY GOOD MINNESOTAN, Lucas rarely missed the TV weather before going to bed.
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John Sandford |
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c74ed3b
|
D. Wayne Sharf slid across Winky Butterfield's pasture like a greased weasel headed for a chicken house.
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John Sandford |
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3da1e28
|
Got here half an hour ago and had a look, eyeballin' it," Sawyer said. "It's murder, all right. Tell you something else - the sun went down, and it's as dark as the inside of a horses's ass out here."
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virgil-flowers
humor
horse
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John Sandford |
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35a1f45
|
But the laughter was like a water bug on a pond, skating across the surface of his mind. He was amused and he laughed, but nothing was deeply funny; life was simply stupid most of the time.
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John Sandford |
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f3f7060
|
Fuck golf anyway. Stupid goddamn game, chasing a ball around a perfectly good cow pasture.
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John Sandford |
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de935a9
|
Now Flowers was arguing the same thing back to him. If Dannon and Carver had killed Tubbs, Lucas wouldn't find out about it except by accident. If justice were to be done, it would have to be extrajudicial.
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John Sandford |