|
66b01cc
|
You know, Fabienne, being American is feeling pretty good right now. This would have never happened to us in Miami, or anywhere in the States and don't you forget that." Fabienne"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
a474658
|
It is only an accident of birth that makes it possible for you to enjoy your lives the way you do." We were young. We had no idea what he meant. In"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
52e4435
|
I wanted to tear the skin from her face so I could see the blood of a woman who would stand by and do nothing while another woman endured what was being done to me. The
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
2fa8593
|
You don't necessarily have to do anything once you acknowledge your privilege. You don't have to apologize for it. You need to understand the extent of your privilege, the consequences of your privilege, and remain aware that people who are different from you move through and experience the world in ways you might never know anything about. They might endure situations you can never know anything about. You could, however, use that privileg..
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
b3c680f
|
Look how these people live. Never forget what they choose to deny you." I"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
ca3f9a5
|
I couldn't stop laughing. I don't know why. Too much was beyond my control.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
aff8b92
|
It is often women who pay the price for what men want." The"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
f95e26f
|
There would always be ransoms for any dignity or peace.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
eb57564
|
The older I get the less the world makes sense." "I"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
8061746
|
There was nothing you could do but what you did. Do you hear me?" "This"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
378f672
|
There's nothing easy about what you're dealing with but you need to face that and step up." Michael"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
028f401
|
This is not how you were raised," Glen said, "and I think that's all I really need to say about the way you're acting." Michael"
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
bf07e01
|
When I'm around the right people, I feel strong and powerful and sexy.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
48cebf1
|
Why is this show being held to the higher standard when there are so many television shows that have long ignored race and class or have flagrantly transgressed in these areas? There are so many terrible shows on television representing women in sexist, stupid, silly ways. Movies are even worse. Movies take one or two anemic ideas about women, caricature them, and shove those caricatures down our throats. The moment we see a pop artifact of..
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
fc1cac2
|
I belong with these things, they are mine, so I do not stay long.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
89e93f5
|
I love the pain, which isn't excruciating but is incredibly, infuriatingly persistent, accompanied by the endless whine of the tattoo gun, marking me forever.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
3a6b5b1
|
His mother was yet another indignity he was forced to endure.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
868909b
|
I'm a bad man.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
c377da5
|
I believe it is so important for women to feel comfortable in their bodies, without wanting to change every single thing about their bodies to find that comfort.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
f3f1543
|
What those doctors offered was so tempting, so seductive: this notion that we could fall asleep for a few hours, and within a year of waking up, most of our problems would be solved, at least according to the medical establishment. That is, of course, if we continued to delude ourselves that our bodies were our biggest problem.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
24671dd
|
I did not know if I would ever find my way past that shame and toward a place where I could face my body, accept my body, change my body.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
607aec9
|
The next morning, I had a dry headache and my mouth was a horrible, lonely place.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
84c2e29
|
There are years and years of my life I can't remember a thing about. A family member will say, "Remember the time [insert significant family moment]," and I stare blankly, with no recollection of these moments whatsoever. We have a shared history and yet we do not."
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
5ec5ad9
|
I cannot enjoy food around my family, but to be fair, food is not something I can enjoy around most people. To be seen while I am eating feels like being on trial. When we do eat together, my family watches me. Or I feel like they are watching me because I am hyper-self-conscious, because they are concerned. Or, more accurately, my family used to intently watch me eating, monitor me, try to control and fix me.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
dab693f
|
I wanted to feel like he and I belonged to each other, but each time we were together and then after, I felt quite the opposite. And still, I was drawn to him.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
48a00fc
|
I went back to school, and my classmates admired my new body, offered me compliments, wanted to hang out with me. That was the first time I realized that weight loss, thinness really, was social currency.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
e76adf3
|
I am stronger than I am broken. I don't want them, or anyone, to think I am nothing more than the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
7ff1a76
|
Whenever I am near other people, I try to fold into myself so that my body doesn't disrupt the space of others. I take this to extremes. I will spend five-hour flights tucked against the window, my arm tucked into the seat belt, as if trying to create absence where there is excessive presence. I walk at the edge of sidewalks. In buildings I hug the walls. I try to walk as quickly as I can when I feel someone behind me so I don't get in thei..
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
6e9dc79
|
We don't all have to believe in the same feminism. Feminism can be pluralistic so long as we respect the different feminisms we carry with us,
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
220d97f
|
Still, I keep coming back to the relative impunity with which the men in This Is How You Lose Her get to behave badly, and to the tone of the critical reception to these stories, which are not only stories but confessions, lamentations of misdeeds. We have all been influenced by a culture where women are considered inferior to men, and I would have loved to see what a writer of Diaz's caliber might do if he allowed his character to step out..
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
8112c7e
|
My other wardrobe, the one that dominates most of my closet, is full of the clothes I don't have the courage to wear.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
0199ee2
|
The notion that I should be fine with the status quo even if I am not wholly affected by the status quo is repulsive. These
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
4a4d483
|
Sometimes, I hope that by telling these stories again and again, I will have a better understanding of how the world works.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
c0d67ce
|
I refuse to expect less. I try to learn better, do better.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
02e8f8b
|
More often than not, the show is trying too hard to do too much, but that's okay. This show should not have to be perfect.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
3308eef
|
Oftentimes, a likable character is simply designed as such to show that he or she is one who knows how to play by the rules and cares to be seen as playing by the rules.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
07263d4
|
Many people are privileged, and again, it's easy to resent that because the level of privilege expressed in the show reminds us that sometimes, success really starts with where you come from.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
e909757
|
This required negotiating a fine balance, and I am a clumsy person.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
d4d743e
|
Rosin suggests that feminists are holding on to a grudge, that feminists are willfully holding on to this notion of patriarchal dominance as if we would be unable to function if we weren't suffering. I'm only one feminist, but I'm confident we'd be just fine if all were right with the world.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
3d62945
|
Feminism will better succeed with collective effort, but feminist success can also rise out of personal conduct. I hear many young women say they can't find well-known feminists with whom they identify. That can be disheartening, but I say, let us (try to) become the feminists we would like to see moving through the world.
|
|
role-models
|
Roxane Gay |
|
904d32f
|
In Gone Girl, Amy talks about the temptation of being the woman a man wants, but ultimately she doesn't give in to the temptation to be "the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn't ever complain."
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
7681f77
|
Christian far tillfalle att visa Ana vem som bestammer, sa att saga, i en valdigt dramatisk scen dar han hugger tag i hennes handleder och leder in henne i sitt sovrum for att vederborligen deflorera henne. Perversionerna kan vanta, men det kan inte hennes vagina. Nar Christian bar ivag med Ana sager han: "Vi ska omedelbart atgarda situationen", vilket definitivt ar vad varje kvinna vill hora nar hon har sex for forsta gangen."
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
e9539d6
|
That is, of course, if we continued to delude ourselves that our bodies were our biggest problem.
|
|
|
Roxane Gay |
|
ead825f
|
We are free to speak as we choose without fear of prosecution or persecution, but we are not free to speak as we choose without consequence.
|
|
free-speech
|
Roxane Gay |