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fcb3f3f
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As a young boy, Charles Darwin made friends easily but preferred to spend his time taking long, solitary nature walks. (As an adult he was no different. "My dear Mr. Babbage," he wrote to the famous mathematician who had invited him to a dinner party, "I am very much obliged to you for sending me cards for your parties, but I am afraid of accepting them, for I should meet some people there, to whom I have sworn by all the saints in Heaven, ..
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Susan Cain |
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74ba4a4
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The same person who would never raise his hand in a lecture hall of two hundred people might blog to two thousand, or two million, without thinking twice. The same person who finds it difficult to introduce himself to strangers might establish a persence online and then extend these relationships into the real world.
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Susan Cain |
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0a955c2
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Introverts are drawn to the inner world of thought and feeling, said Jung, extroverts to the external life of people and activities. Introverts focus on the meaning they make of the events swirling around them; extroverts plunge into the events themselves. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don't socialize enough.
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Susan Cain |
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c9e5dfb
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In fact, public speaking anxiety may be primal and quintessentially human, not limited to those of us born with a high-reactive nervous system. One theory, based on the writings of the sociobiologist E.O. Wilson, holds that when our ancestors lived on the savannah, being watched intently meant only one thing: a wild animal was stalking us. And when we think we're about to be eaten, do we stand tall and hold forth confidently? No. We run. In..
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Susan Cain |
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d6bee34
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Scores of studies have shown that venting doesn't soothe anger; it fuels it.
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Susan Cain |
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4ee0025
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The pressure to entertain, to sell ourselves, and never to be visibly anxious keeps ratcheting up.
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Susan Cain |
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ad96ff1
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Ask your child for information in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, with specific, clear questions. Instead of "How was your day?" try "What did you do in math class today?" Instead of "Do you like your teacher?" ask "What do you like about your teacher?" Or "What do you not like so much?" Let her take her time to answer. Try to avoid asking, in the overly bright voice of parents everywhere, "Did you have fun in school today?!" She'll sense how ..
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parenting
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Susan Cain |
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e978c0d
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But when the group is literally capable of changing our perceptions, and when to stand alone is to activate primitive, powerful, and unconscious feelings of rejection, then the health of these institutions seems far more vulnerable than we think.
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extraversion
introversion
democracy
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Susan Cain |
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52d33ff
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Schwartz's research suggests something important: we can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead. A sizeable part of who we are is ordained by our genes, by our brains, by our nervous systems. And yet the elasticity that Schwartz found in some of the high-reactive teens also suggests the converse: we have free will and can use it to shape our personalities.
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Susan Cain |
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13f735c
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One noteworthy study suggests that people who suppress negative emotions tend to leak those emotions later in unexpected ways. The psychologist Judith Grob asked people to hide their emotions when she showed them disgusting images. She even had them hold pens in their mouths to prevent them from frowning. She found that this group reported feeling less disgusted by the pictures than did those who'd been allowed to react naturally. Later, ho..
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perception
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Susan Cain |
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adabf45
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It's not that I'm so smart," said Einstein, who was a consummate introvert. "It's that I stay with problems longer."
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Susan Cain |
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ca18017
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Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Year's Eve if that's what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story.
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quiet
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Susan Cain |
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67b7825
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Extroverts are more likely to take a quick-and-dirty approach to problem-solving, trading accuracy for speed, making increasing numbers of mistakes as they go, and abandoning ship altogether when the problem seems too difficult or frustrating. Introverts think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, give up less easily, and work more accurately. Introverts and extroverts also direct their attention differently: ..
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focus
problem-solving
processing-information
tendencies
thought-patterns
extroverts
introverts
thinking
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Susan Cain |
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05f67fb
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Persistence isn't very glamorous. If genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration, then as a culture we tend to lionize the one percent. We love its flash and dazzle. But great power lies in the other ninety-nine percent.
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Susan Cain |
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17f9508
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Psychologists usually offer three explanations for the failure of group brainstorming. The first is social loafing: in a group, some individuals tend to sit back and let others do the work. The second is production blocking: only one person can talk or produce an idea at once, while the other group members are forced to sit passively. And the third is evaluation apprehension, meaning the fear of looking stupid in front of one's peers.
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Susan Cain |
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0817d5c
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Or you're told that you're "in your head too much," a phrase that's often deployed against the quiet and cerebral. Of course, there's another word for such people: thinkers."
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Susan Cain |
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bf60582
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Open-plan offices have been found to reduce productivity and impair memory. They're associated with high staff turnover. They make people sick, hostile, unmotivated, and insecure.
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work
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Susan Cain |
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6b7b90e
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it makes sense that introverts are uniquely good at leading intiative-takers. Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions. Having benefited from the talents of their followers, they are then likely to motivate them to be even more proactive. Introverted leaders create a virtious circle of proactivity.
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Susan Cain |
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abd73a4
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true self-esteem comes from competence, not the other way around.
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Susan Cain |
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5a12cf7
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Extroverts are better than introverts at handling information overload. Introverts' reflectiveness uses up a lot of cognitive capacity, according to Joseph Newman. On any given task, he says, ''if we have 100 percent cognitive capacity, an introvert may have only 75 percent on task and 25 percent off task, whereas an extrovert may have 90 percent on task.'' This is because most tasks are goal-directed. Extroverts appear to allocate most of ..
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Susan Cain |
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f79eea5
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When you go to a football game and someone offers you a beer [...], they're really saying hi, have a glass of extroversion.
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Susan Cain |
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b5ac324
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remember the dangers of the New Groupthink. If it's creativity you're after, ask your employees to solve problems alone before sharing their ideas. If you want the wisdom of the crowd, gather it electronically, or in writing, and make sure people can't see each other's ideas until everyone has had a chance to contribute.
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Susan Cain |
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e5d19c2
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The key to flow is to pursue an activity for its own sake, not for the rewards it brings.
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passion
success
rewards
introverts
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Susan Cain |
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9b15403
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We're told that to be great is to be bold, to be happy is to be sociable. We see ourselves as a nation of extroverts -- which means that we've lost sight of who we really are. Depending on which study you consult, one-third to one half of Americans are introverts -- in other words one out of every two or three people you know.
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Susan Cain |
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54bcc7c
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If you're an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status. Indeed, your biggest challenge may be to fully harness your strengths. You may be so busy trying to appear like a zestful, reward-sensitive extrovert t..
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Susan Cain |
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1c69153
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America had shifted from what influential cultural historian Warren Susman called a culture of character to a culture of personality, and opened up a Pandora's box of personal anxieties of which we would never recover.
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Susan Cain |
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6e79578
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So the next time you see a person with a compose face and a soft voice, remember that inside her mind she might be solving an equation, composing a sonnet, designing a hat. She might, that is, be deploying the powers of quiet.
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inspiration
introversion
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Susan Cain |
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88d775f
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Remember that introverts react not only to new people, but also to new places and events. So don't mistake a child's caution in new situations for an inability to relate to others. He's recoiling from novelty or overstimulation, not from human contact. Introverts are just as likely as the next kid to seek others' company, though often in smaller doses
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Susan Cain |
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053e5d6
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According to Free Trait Theory, we are born and culturally endowed with certain personality traits--introversion, for example--but we can and do act out of character in the service of "core personal projects." In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly. Free Trait Theory explains why an introvert might throw his extroverted wi..
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Susan Cain |
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bd8c583
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If personal space is vital to creativity, so is freedom from "peer pressure"." --
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individuality
freedom
extroverts
teamwork
introversion
introverts
introvert
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Susan Cain |
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cd4f597
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There's nothing more exciting than ideas.
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fun
introversion
introvert
ideas
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Susan Cain |
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5a2febe
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Restorative niche' is Professor Little's term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self. It can be a physical place, like the path beside the Richelieu River, or a temporal one, like the quiet breaks you plan between sales calls.
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Susan Cain |
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bc416b5
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some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go, and...some humans are just the same.
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Susan Cain |
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2a0f0cd
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There are only a few people out there who can completely overcome their fears, and they all live in Tibet.
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Susan Cain |
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e1e91fe
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Consider that the simplest social interactions between two people requires performing an astonishing array of tasks: interpreting what the other person is saying; reading body language and facial expressions; smoothly taking turns talking and listening; responding to what the other person said; assessing whether you're being understood; determining whether you're well received, and, if not, figuring out how to improve or remove yourself fro..
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hsp
introvert
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susan cain |
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308d284
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INTROVERTS are especially vulnerable to challenges like marital tension, a parent's death, or abuse. They're more likely than their peers to react to these events with depression, anxiety, and shyness. Indeed, about a quarter of Kagan's high-reactive kids suffer from some degree of the condition known as "social anxiety disorder," a chronic and disabling form of shyness."
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Susan Cain |
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dfde69c
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Introverts are offered keys to private gardens full of riches. To possess sucha key is to tumble like Alice down her rabbit hole. She didn't choose to go to Wonderland - but she made of it an adventure that was fresh and fantastic and very much her own.
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introverts
susan-cain
quiet
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Susan Cain |
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17f9f83
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Another study, of 38,000 knowledge workers across different sectors, found that the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity. Even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth.
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Susan Cain |
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c95a7d3
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Though shyness per se was unacceptable, reserve was a mark of good breeding.
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Susan Cain |
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9c5e4ae
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A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers."--Charles Darwin"
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Susan Cain |
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060569d
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Unleashing a passion can transform a life...
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Susan Cain |
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1d04a13
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introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation.
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Susan Cain |
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9840d9d
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Sometimes speakers need to talk about subjects that don't interest them much, especially at work. I believe this is harder for introverts, who have trouble projecting artificial enthusiasm. But there's a hidden advantage to this inflexibility: it can motivate us to make tough but worthwhile career changes if we find ourselves compelled to speak too often about topics that leave us cold. There is no one more courageous than the person who sp..
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Susan Cain |
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b39cf16
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But as the word satyagraha implies, Gandhi's passivity was not weakness at all. It meant focusing on an ultimate goal and refusing to divert energy to unnecessary skirmishes along the way. Restraint, Gandhi believed, was one of his greatest assets. And it was born of his shyness: I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts. A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen. Experience has taught me that silence is par..
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Susan Cain |