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6417850
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For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it ..
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humour
fried-egg
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Douglas Adams |
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f26ed1c
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The bird that would soar above the plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings.
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Douglas Adams |
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a82ab23
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Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.
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humor
life
h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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710fa4c
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people wo..
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bypass
hitchikers
science-fiction
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Douglas Adams |
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c694d91
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The point is, you see," said Ford, "that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later."
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1c160c5
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What I need... is a strong drink and a peer group.
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Douglas Adams |
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ab518e2
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It is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with, on his first encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of continually stating and restating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "So this is it, we're going to die." His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observ..
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Douglas Adams |
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329f313
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
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power-of-words
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Douglas Adams |
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84ef3d1
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Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means."
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meaning
humor
life
question
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Douglas Adams |
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d2e4b2b
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Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.
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Douglas Adams |
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874c653
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Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
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Douglas Adams |
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a23bff2
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and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.
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Douglas Adams |
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8d235da
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Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin. "And what happened?" pressed Ford. "It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold."
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marvin
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d813217
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Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.
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Douglas Adams |
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ba0306a
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Well, I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I'm afraid where you begin to suspect that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And if it comes to a choice between spending yet another ten million years finding that out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for one c..
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014fa22
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My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first" --
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Douglas Adams |
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a329666
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Ow! My brains!
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zaphod-beeblebrox
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Douglas Adams |
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6504c0d
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I don't want to die now!" he yelled. "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it!"
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fc56b98
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We notice things that don't work. We don't notice things that do. We notice computers, we don't notice pennies. We notice e-book readers, we don't notice books.
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e3a72e0
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He has personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts.
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Douglas Adams |
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7295b3d
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Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported..
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e908313
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I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
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Douglas Adams |
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190c3eb
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One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in or or At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new ..
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ignorance
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Douglas Adams |
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234ecfa
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And as he drove on, the rainclouds dragged down the sky after him, for, though he did not know it, Rob McKenna was a Rain God. All he knew was that his working days were miserable and he had a succession of lousy holidays. All the clouds knew was that they loved him and wanted to be near him, to cherish him, and to water him.
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Douglas Adams |
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9d7ddeb
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The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42!
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meaning-of-life
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Douglas Adams |
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d95fa20
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy's definition of "Universe": The Universe is a very big thing that contains a great number of planets and a great number of beings. It is Everything. What we live in. All around us. The lot. Not nothing. It is quite difficult to actually define what the Universe means, but fortunately the Guide doesn't worry about that and just gives us some useful information to live in it. Area: The area of the Univers..
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Douglas Adams |
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d2f0901
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The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline."
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humor
marvin
h2g2
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
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Douglas Adams |
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3e9a629
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Let the past hold on to itself and let the present move forward into the future.
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Douglas Adams |
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c514e10
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One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is no problem with changing the course of history--the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to c..
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humor
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Douglas Adams |
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a5bb185
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Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does.
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Douglas Adams |
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29d90cd
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Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well t..
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religion
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Douglas Adams |
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9716f60
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Ford carried on counting quietly. This is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood..."
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humor
ford-anyone
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Douglas Adams |
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4f946fd
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Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)" --
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slang
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Douglas Adams |
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02df767
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People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around.
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psychology
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Douglas Adams |
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6ca0bd1
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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)
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humor
inspirational
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Douglas Adams |
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2b2b615
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I like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day."
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h2g2
hitchhiker-s-guide
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Douglas Adams |
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2208d40
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The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to.
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Douglas Adams |
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ebedfc9
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Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else becomes eerily easy.
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Douglas Adams |
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1878c0c
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Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer.
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773a1b5
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It was his subconscious which told him this---that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.
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6d18c91
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That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.
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Douglas Adams |
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bad1f13
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Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.
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Douglas Adams |
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ecda76a
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But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment." I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod,"nothing but a gnab gib." A what?" Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy."
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science
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Douglas Adams |
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a090a84
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I don't go to mythical places with strange men.
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Douglas Adams |