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In the Anthropologie mirror, I saw wrinkles, dents, flaps, bumps, and something that caused me to say to myself, "I hope that's a tumor and not a horn."
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Laurie Notaro |
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Let me tell you about Tidy. She's smug, self-important, and frankly, just an asshole.
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Laurie Notaro |
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Other than that, employ this rule: A book gets fifty pages. If you aren't dying to get back to it the next day, move on over to the next one.
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Laurie Notaro |
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Frankly, if I walk into your house and you don't have two hundred books somewhere that you haven't read yet, I don't trust you.
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Laurie Notaro |
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I'm telling you, every house with filthy windows has a pervert inside. Animals. Dirty minds have dirty windows. Everyone knows that. But I wouldn't worry about the Super Rapist if I were you, especially if he gets a good look at you from behind. I'd say you were probably pretty far down on his list." As"
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Laurie Notaro |
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Oh my God," my husband said with a gasp, reading further. "He beat three men into unconsciousness? Alone? What is this, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Rapist? Does he fly and run across treetops? How long are his nails? What do you think his record for man beating is? Do we need four guys in the house at all times? Do we need five? You know, I could start a band and we could practice here."
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Laurie Notaro |