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f6ff96a
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I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.
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humor
pessimism
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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9745c5b
|
Oh, Jeeves,' I said; 'about that check suit.' Yes, sir?' Is it really a frost?' A trifle too bizarre, sir, in my opinion.' But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.' Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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f3e4d22
|
When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.
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relationships
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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4f46ab6
|
Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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15cfde9
|
Talking of being eaten by dogs, there's a dachshund at Brinkley who when you first meet him will give you the impression that he plans to convert you into a light snack between his regular meals. Pay no attention. It's all eyewash. His belligerent attitude is simply--" Sound and fury signifying nothing, sir?" That's it. Pure swank. A few civil words, and he will be grappling you . . . What's the expression I've heard you use?" Grappling me ..
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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4b55261
|
Lord Marshmoreton: I wish I could get you see my point of view. George Bevan: I do see your point of view. But dimly. You see, my own takes up such a lot of the foreground
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P G Wodehouse |
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16ed99a
|
Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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96e737e
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I laughed derisively. "For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious." "I was laughing."
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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68abc32
|
Good works?" "About the village, sir. Reading to the bedridden - chatting with the sick - that sort of thing, sir. We can but trust that good results will ensue." "Yes, I suppose so," I said doubtfully. "But, by gosh, if I were a sick man I'd hate to have a looney like young Bingo coming and gibbering at my bedside."
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P G Wodehouse |
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9f9235f
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She is very wonderful, Bertie. She is not one of these flippant, shallow-minded, modern girls. She is sweetly grave and beautifully earnest. She reminds me of - what is the name I want?
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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0ba06c5
|
I'm lonely, Jeeves.' 'You have a great many friends,sir.' 'What's the good of friends?' 'Emerson,' I reminded him,'says a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature,sir.'
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p g wodehouse |
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cba3981
|
She sometimes takes her little brother for a walk round this way," explained Bingo. "I thought we would meet her and bow, and you could see her, you know, and then we would walk on." "Of course," I said, "that's enough excitement for anyone, and undoubtedly a corking reward for tramping three miles out of one's way over ploughed fields with tight boots, but don't we do anything else? Don't we tack on to the girl and buzz along with her?" "G..
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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6133abb
|
It can't be done, old thing. Sorry, but it's out of the question. I couldn't go through all that again." "Not for me?" "Not for a dozen more like you." "I never thought," said Bingo sorrowfully, "to hear those words from Bertie Wooster!" "Well, you've heard them now," I said. "Paste them in your hat." "Bertie, we were at school together." "It wasn't my fault."
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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4eebde1
|
Jeeves," I said, "those spats." "Yes, sir?" "You really dislike them?" "Intensely, sir." "You don't think time might induce you to change your views?" "No, sir."
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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e1d95c0
|
Do you realise that about two hundred of Twing's heftiest are waiting for you outside to chuck you into the pond?" "No!" "Absolutely!"
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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9d98f42
|
Hallo, Bertie." "Hallo, old turnip. Where have you been all this while?" "Oh, here and there! Ripping weather we're having, Bertie." "Not bad." "I see the Bank Rate is down again." "No, really?" "Disturbing news from Lower Silesia, what?" "Oh, dashed!"
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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0635495
|
He looked at me like Lillian Gish coming out of a swoon. "Is this Bertie Wooster talking?" he said, pained. "Yes, it jolly well is!"
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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4e9421a
|
Bertie, it is imperative that you marry." "But, dash it all..."
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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2b0ad28
|
He was one of those supercilious striplings who give you the impression that you went to the wrong school and that your clothes don't fit. "This is Oswald," said Bingo. "What," I replied cordially, "could be sweeter? How are you?" "Oh, all right," said the kid. "Nice place, this." "Oh, all right," said the kid. "Having a good time fishing?" "Oh, all right," said the kid. Young Bingo led me off to commune apart.
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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2065d53
|
Well, you've taken a weight off my mind.
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P G Wodehouse |
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773a6a6
|
Brookfield, my correspondent, writes that last week he observed him in the moonlight at an advanced hour gazing up at his window." "Whose window? Brookfield's?" "Yes, sir. Presumably under the impression that it was the young lady's." "But what the deuce is he doing at Twing at all?" "Mr Little was compelled to resume his old position as tutor to Lord Wickhammersley's son at Twing Hall, sir. Owing to having been unsuccessful in some specula..
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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b058c7c
|
She is a waitress at his lordships club. My God! The Proletariat!
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P G Wodehouse |
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8153116
|
The blighter's manner was so cold and unchummy that I bit the bullet and had a dash at being airy.
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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8595648
|
The silly ass had left the kitchen door open, and I hadn't gone two steps when his voice caught me squarely in the eardrum. 'You will find Mr Wooster', he was saying to the substitue chappie, 'an extremely pleasant and amiable young gentleman, but not intelligent. By no means intelligent. Mentally he is negligible - quite negligible'.
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P G Wodehouse |
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dea73a5
|
He will lunch with you at your flat tomorrow at one-thirty. Please remember that he drinks no wine, strongly disapproves of smoking, and can only eat the simplest food, owing to an impaired digestion. Do not offer him coffee, for he considers it the root of half the nerve-trouble in the world." "I should think a dog-biscuit and a glass of water would about meet the case, what?" "Bertie!"
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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3f3729b
|
What are you giving us?
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jeeves
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P G Wodehouse |
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e62d18e
|
We'll fling the door open and make a rush," said Bill. "Supposing they shoot, old scout?"
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P G Wodehouse |
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5a1179c
|
It's the burglars!" quavered Mrs. Hignett. In the stress of recent events she had completely forgotten the existence of those enemies of society. "They were dancing in the hall when I arrived, and now they're playing the orchestrion!"
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P G Wodehouse |
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631c4a4
|
But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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8b855bf
|
Oh, is that my report, father?' said Mike, with a sort of sickly interest, much as a dog about to be washed might evince in his tub.'
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school-story
ya
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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1dff9f7
|
Roderick Spode is the founder of the Saviours of Britain, a fascist organisation better know as the 'Black Shorts'... When you say 'shorts' mean 'shirts', of course. No. By the time Spode formed his association, there were no shirts left. He and his adherents wear black shorts. Footer bags, you mean?
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P G Wodehouse |
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7035ba0
|
'It seems to me, Jeeves, that the ceremony may be one fraught with considerable interest.' 'Yes, sir.' 'What, in your opinion, will the harvest be?' 'One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir.' 'You mean imagination boggles?' 'Yes, sir.' I inspected my imagination. He was right. It boggled
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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52191ab
|
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare - or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad - who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
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fate
shakespeare
chappie
lead-piping
top-hole
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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a419fa9
|
My God, man!" I gargled. "The cravat! The gent's neckwear! Why? For what reason?"
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neckwear
ties
fashion
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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1068052
|
If there were more men like you, Mr. Wooster, London would be a better place." This was dead opposite to my Aunt Agatha's philosophy of life, she always having rather given me to understand that it is the presence in it of chappies like me that makes London more or less of a plague spot; but I let it go."
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family
philosophy-of-life
london
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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1a48a21
|
Routine is the death to heroism.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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07224cc
|
Work, the what's-its-name of the thingummy and the thing-um-a-bob of the what d'you-call-it."
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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30c7f91
|
'As a sleuth you are poor. You couldn't detect a bass-drum in a telephone-booth.'
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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a1f2154
|
He resembled a minor prophet who had been hit behind the ear with a stuffed eel-skin.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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25c0c15
|
Bradbury Fisher shuddered from head to foot, and his legs wobbled like asparagus stalks.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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7cd8b44
|
At this moment, the laurel bush, which had hitherto not spoken, said "Psst!"
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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b2a9cb4
|
Unseen, in the background, Fate was quietly slipping the lead into the boxing-glove.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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7ea73db
|
He groaned slightly and winced, like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
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P. G. Wodehouse |
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ddb1d64
|
We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.
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P. G. Wodehouse |