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04163e6
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Granny disapproved of magic for domestic purposes, but she was annoyed. She also wanted her tea. She threw a couple of logs into the fireplace and glared at them until they burst into flame out of sheer embarrassment.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4caea35
|
Most people, on waking up, accelerate through a quick panicky pre-consciousness check-up: who am I, where am I, who is he/she, good god, why am I cuddling a policeman's helmet, what happened last night? And this is because people are riddled by Doubt. It is the engine that drives them through their lives. It is the elastic band in the little model aeroplane of their soul, and they spend their time winding it up until it knots. Early morning..
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humour
terry-prattchet
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Terry Pratchett |
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3f41039
|
He sighed and opened the black box and took out his rings and slipped them on. Another box held a set of knives and Klatchian steel, their blades darkened with lamp black. Various cunning and intricate devices were taken from velvet bags and dropped into pockets. A couple of long-bladed throwing tlingas were slipped into their sheaths inside his boots. A thin silk line and folding grapnel were wound around his waist, over the chain-mail shi..
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fantasy
humor
dungeons-and-dragons
discworld
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Terry Pratchett |
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2e0856e
|
It is in the nature of the universe that the person who always keeps you waiting ten minutes will, on the day you are ten minutes tardy, have been ready ten minutes early and will make a point of not mentioning this.
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Terry Pratchett |
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abaa0b3
|
Trolls have 5,400 words for rocks and one for vegetation. "Oograah" means everything from moss to giant redwoods. The way trolls see it, if you can't eat it, it's not worth naming it."
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vegetation
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Terry Pratchett |
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af84350
|
Don't trust the cannibal just 'cos he's usin' a knife and fork!
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Terry Pratchett |
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19430b9
|
Stories are a parasitical life form, warping lives in the service only of the story itself.
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Terry Pratchett |
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18b854c
|
There are all kinds of darkness, and all kinds of things can be found in them, imprisoned, banished, lost or hidden. Sometimes they escape. Sometimes they simply fall out. Sometimes they just can't take it any more.
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Terry Pratchett |
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dc48b72
|
Rincewind tried shutting his eyes, but there were no eyelids to his imagination and it was staring widely
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Terry Pratchett |
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72abbfb
|
You can think and you can fight, but the world's always movin', and if you wanna stay ahead you gotta dance.
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Terry Pratchett |
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601ba8f
|
The city wasa, wasa, wasa wossname. Thing. . Thass what it was. Woman. Roaring, ancient, centuries old. Strung you along, let you fall in thingy, love, with her, then kicked you inna, inna, thingy. Thingy, in your mouth. Tongue. Tonsils. . That's what it, she, did. She wasa...thing, you know, lady dog. Puppy. Hen. .
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Terry Pratchett |
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234c804
|
He sagged to his knees. He ached all over. It wasn't just that his brain was writing cheques that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b425b10
|
Nothing-to-see is what most of the universe consists of.
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Terry Pratchett |
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bfdf637
|
the whole point of the wish business was to see to it that what the client got was exactly what he asked for and exactly what he didn't really want.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f382c45
|
It was turning out to be one of those days. The sort you got every day.
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Terry Pratchett |
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23826a4
|
You always knew where you stood with Quezovercoatl. It was generally with a lot of people on top of a great stepped pyramid with someone in an elegant feathered headdress chipping an exquisite obsidian knife for your very own personal use.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6878381
|
Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like 'his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3fdf4b5
|
Not much call for a barbarian hairdresser, I expect,' said Rincewind. 'I mean, no-one wants a shampoo-and-beheading.
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Terry Pratchett |
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c25d83a
|
In the rain-forests of Brutha's subconscious the butterfly of doubt emerged and flapped an experimental wing, all unaware of what chaos theory has to say about this sort of thing ...
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Terry Pratchett |
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da77a6a
|
The conversation of human beings seldom interested him, but it crossed his mind that the males and females always got along best when neither actually listened fully to what the other one was saying.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4e199d5
|
en el interior de cada anciano, hay un joven preguntandose que demonios ha pasado.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6746d48
|
Suddenly there was a humming in the air, and the bees were there too. They flowed out of Granny Weatherwax's hive, circling Tiffany like a halo, crowning her, and swarm and girl stood on the threshold of the cottage and Tiffany reached out her arms and the bees settled along them, and welcomed her home.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a36f6de
|
People were strange like that. Steal five dollars and you were a petty thief. Steal thousands of dollars and you were either a government or a hero.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cc63f4d
|
Not craftsmen, my lord" he said. "I have no use for people who have learned the limits of the possible"
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Terry Pratchett |
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6211eb0
|
Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.
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history
humour
women
larps
reenactment
wenches
hobbies
historical
wit
|
Terry Pratchett |
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a0dccda
|
That's No'-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock, mistress,' said Not-as-big-as-Medium-Sized-Jock-but-bigger-than-Wee-Jock-Jock. 'Ye were one jock short,' he added helpfully.
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quote
pratchett
|
Terry Pratchett |
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1ffdb22
|
I never understood that story, anyway," said Nanny. "I mean, if I knew I'd got a heel that would kill me if someone stuck a spear in it, I'd go into battle wearing very heavy boots--"
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Terry Pratchett |
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2e4fd2b
|
The Tezuman priests have a sophisticated calendar and an advanced horology," quoted Rincewind. "Ah," said Eric, "Good." "No," said Rincewind patiently. "It means time measurement." "Oh." --
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Terry Pratchett |
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f346a68
|
Ah, I know that," said Tiffany, as the boat rocked on the swell. "Whales aren't dangerous, because they just eat very small things..." "Row like the blazes, lads!" Rob Anybody yelled."
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humor
tiny
whales
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Terry Pratchett |
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6d0af77
|
Is that all, sir? Only we've got stuff to finish before our knocking-off time, you see, and if we stay late we have to make more money to pay our overtime, and if the lads is a bit tired we ends up earning the money faster'n we can make it, which leads to a bit of what I can only call a conundrum--" "You mean that if you do overtime you have to do more overtime to pay for it?" said Moist, still pondering how illogical logical thinking can b..
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money
currency
overtime
government
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Terry Pratchett |
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cd92a68
|
There's some things we can't think because we don't know the words.
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Terry Pratchett |
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122ac47
|
Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought. And because the theater was fiction made flesh, she hated the theater most of all. But that was it--hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned.
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Terry Pratchett |
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109447c
|
all reputable falconers agreed that for hunting purposes the only way you could reliably bring down prey with a wowhawk was by using it in a slingshot.
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Terry Pratchett |
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515b574
|
The reward for toil had been more toil. If you dug the best ditches, they gave you a bigger shovel.
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Terry Pratchett |
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00086fe
|
Vimes, listening with his mouth open, wondered why the hell it was that dwarfs believed that they had no religion and no priests. Being a dwarf was a religion. People went into the dark for the good of the clan, and heard things, and were changed, and came back to tell... And then, fifty years ago, a dwarf tinkering in Ankh-Morpork had found that if you put a simple fine mesh over your lantern flame it'd burn blue in the presence of the gas..
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Terry Pratchett |
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8ee008b
|
Not all questions are answered, commander, but fortunately some answers are questioned.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2bd99f6
|
Aye, Rob, but we canna help noticin' ye also have tae do the Explainin', too,' said Daft Wullie. There was a general nodding from the crowd. To Feegles, Explaining was a dark art. It was just so HARD. 'Like, when we come back from drinkin', stealin', and fightin', Jeannie gives ye the Pursin' o' the Lips,' Daft Wullie went on. A moan went up from all the Feegles: 'Ooooh, save us from the Pursin' o' the Lips!' 'An' there's the Foldin' o'..
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humor
|
Terry Pratchett |
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6da38c4
|
There are some laws that are coded into the very nature of the universe, and one is: There Is Never Enough Shelf Space.
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humour
nature
space
laws
|
Terry Pratchett |
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977014e
|
Real magic is the hand around the bandsaw, the thrown spark in the powder keg, the dimension-warp linking you straight into the heart of a star, the flaming sword that burns all the way down to the pommel. Sooner juggle torches in a tar pit than mess with real magic. Sooner lie down in front of a thousand elephants.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8a8519f
|
Well, yes, but it's not about the football." "You're saying that football is not about football?" "It's the sharing," she said. "It's being part of the crowd. It's chanting together. It's all of it. the whole thing."
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Terry Pratchett |
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e79b7db
|
Rain don't fall on a witch if she doesn't want it to, although personally I prefer to get wet and be thankful." "Thankful for what?" said Tiffany. "That I'll get dry later."
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Terry Pratchett |
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7739a79
|
The nose is also the only organ that can see backwards in time.
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Terry Pratchett |
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35afa27
|
Sometimes I get nice letters from people who know they're due to meet him (Death) soon, and hope I've got him right. Those are the kind of letters that cause me to stare at the wall for some time.
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Terry Pratchett |
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723e705
|
A horse's skull always looks scary, even if someone has put lipstick on it.
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Terry Pratchett |