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019a66d
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.
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Gary Chapman |
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b5ea9a3
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I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.
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Gary Chapman |
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020e015
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Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise."
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marriage
relationships
love
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Gary Chapman |
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ad2bf75
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People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.
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criticism
romance
love
need
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Gary Chapman |
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2125f5e
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Real love" - "This kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth."
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Gary Chapman |
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28bb841
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Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.
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relationships
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Gary Chapman |
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031b8ca
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Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different.
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relationships
love
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Gary Chapman |
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88b2117
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For love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardships our lot in life.
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Gary Chapman |
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61f5fa3
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What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.
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Gary Chapman |
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8b28fc4
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Love doesn't keep a score of wrongs. Love doesn't bring up past failures. None of us is perfect. In marriage we do not always do the right thing. We have sometimes done and said hurtful things to our spouses. We cannot erase the past. We can only confess it and agree that it was wrong. We can ask for forgiveness and try to act differently in the future. Having confessed my failure and asked forgiveness, I can do nothing more to mitigate the..
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Gary Chapman |
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b7b2d2b
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Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments.
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Gary Chapman |
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fb670d7
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The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect."
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Gary Chapman |
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5033ffc
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Inside every child is an 'emotional rani's waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehavior of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty 'love tank
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Gary Chapman |
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ff5252b
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The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.
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Gary Chapman |
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95464b3
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All of us blossom when we feel loved and wither when we do not feel loved.
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Gary Chapman |
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09d8ee6
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People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as teammates in an intimate relationship.
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marriage
marriage-preparation
relationships-advice
failure-relationship
marriage-life
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Gary Chapman |
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393b9cc
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Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.
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Gary Chapman |
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456eccc
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The best thing we can do with the failures of the past is to let them be history.
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Gary Chapman |
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9ec6a98
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Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.
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Gary Chapman |
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6b836f7
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I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.
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failure-relationship
long-term-appreciation
sense-of-falling-in-love
successful-marriage
long-term-relationships
falling-in-love
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Gary Chapman |
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791c780
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I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.
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Gary Chapman |
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2c9504b
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Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too ..
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Gary Chapman |
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10b4f12
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The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime
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marriage-mistakes
marriages
successful-marriage
marriage-humor
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Gary Chapman |
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6c88d73
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Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.
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Gary Chapman |
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dc07b5f
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Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.
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Gary Chapman |
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c13cff1
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In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run its course.
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Gary Chapman |
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4b318dd
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We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.
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Gary Chapman |
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1b630df
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Camp out in the living room. Spread your blankets and pillows on the floor. Get your Pepsi and popcorn. Pretend the TV is broken and talk like you used to when you were dating. Talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard, go back upstairs and go to bed. You won't forget this evening!
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Gary Chapman |
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c8ec7d7
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It takes time and the conscious choice to listen.
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Gary Chapman |
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c3be067
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Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.
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Gary Chapman |
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dd2451e
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We fail to reckon with the reality of human nature. By nature,we are egocentric. Our world revolves around us. None of us is totally altruistic.
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Gary Chapman |
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d8e726a
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there is hope. That's the marvelous thing about being human. We can change our future. We need not be enslaved by the experiences of the past. We can learn to love even when we have not received love.
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Gary Chapman |
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3e24e8f
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Genuine forgiveness and reconciliation are two-person transactions that are enabled by apologies. Some, particularly within the Christian worldview, have taught forgiveness without an apology. They often quote the words of Jesus, "If you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Thus, they say to the wife whose husband has been unfaithful and continues in his adulterous affair, "You must forgive ..
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Gary Chapman |
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aa40c45
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Third, one who is "in love" is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. "If we have any purpose in mind when we fall in love it is to terminate our own loneliness and perhaps ensure this result through marriage."
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Gary Chapman |
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95645bf
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Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one's search for meaning.
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Gary Chapman |
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e5096e2
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We speak and understand best our native language. We feel most comfortable speaking that language. The more we use a secondary language, the more comfortable we become conversing in it. If we speak only our primary language and encounter someone else who speaks only his or her primary language, which is different from ours, our communication will be limited. We must rely on pointing, grunting, drawing pictures, or acting out our ideas. We c..
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Gary Chapman |
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8c616fe
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Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love.
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Gary Chapman |
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e53c5b8
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Often we fail to consider the fact that our social, spiritual, and intellectual interests are miles apart. Our value systems and goals are contradictory, but we are in love.
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marriage
relationship
love
short-term-feeling
successful-marriage
falling-in-love
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Gary Chapman |
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c162a0f
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Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other's eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.
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Gary Chapman |
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462efc6
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Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years.
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Gary Chapman |
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14ec932
|
I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.
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Gary Chapman |
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9a38192
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love is always a choice.
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Gary Chapman |
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0fe2d39
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Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.
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Gary Chapman |
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61c31b7
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Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment." --
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Gary Chapman |