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3d4f40b
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THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. We are here to help you. 2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings. 3. The dress code will be enforced. 4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds. 5. Our football team will win the championship this year. 6. We expect more of you here. 7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen. 8. Your schedule was created with you in mind. 9. Your locker combina..
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school
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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52c3c27
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When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.
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death
inspirational
voice
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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254f827
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You have to know what you stand for, not just what you stand against.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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9b337e5
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In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves.
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haunt
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0337493
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There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.
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self-esteem
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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aaae547
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We are crayons and lunchboxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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890427c
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I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears?
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truth
melinda
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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c1cddad
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Homework is not an option. My bed is sending out serious nap rays. I can't help myself. The fluffy pillows and warm comforter are more powerful than I am. I have no choice but to snuggle under the covers.
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funny
drowsiness
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0e0b076
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I am beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles.
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self-image
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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3b14974
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Art without emotion its like chocolate cake without sugar. It makes you gag.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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eba01c6
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It's easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on TV about communication and expressing feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.
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voice
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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2159a29
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It's easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.
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emotion
awkwardness
school
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e0fc522
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I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?
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rape
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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bee1530
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I wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice if I just stopped talking.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e78e0af
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Gym should be illegal. It's humiliating.
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humor
p-e
physical-education
gym
humiliation
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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6b83935
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Do I want to die from the inside out or the outside in?
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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789efdc
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Another page turns on the calendar, April now, not March. ......... I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world...I spun out of control. Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest. I wanted to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfulness...Somehow, I dragged myself out of the dark and asked for help. I spin and weave and knit my words and visions until a life starts to take shape. There is no magic c..
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eating-disorders
recovery
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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3e0844b
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CONJUGATE THIS: I cut class, you cut class, he, she, it cuts class. We cut class, they cut class. We all cut class. I cannot say this in Spanish because I did not go to Spanish today.
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spanish
humor
school
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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7374af7
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I am getting better at smiling when people expect it.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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9d7e9e7
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I have never heard a more eloquent silence.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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5c8af72
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I failed eating, failed drinking, failed not cutting myself into shreds. Failed friendship. Failed sisterhood and daughterhood. Failed mirrors and scales and phone calls. Good thing I'm stable.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0b4c628
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Eating was hard. Breathing was hard. Living was hardest.
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living
eating
eating-disorders
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0123c39
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I am angry that I starved my brain and that I sat shivering in my bed at night instead of dancing or reading poetry or eating ice cream or kissing a boy...
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recovery
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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7186957
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I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English ..
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humorous
boring-books
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0e9d3f4
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What do I want? The answer to that question does not exist.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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639962f
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I breathe in slowly. Food is life. I exhale, take another breath. Food is life. And that's the problem. When you're alive, people can hurt you. It's easier to crawl into a bone cage or a snowdrift of confusion. It's easier to lock everybody out. But it's a lie.
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food
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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17a9808
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Who wants to recover? It took me years to get that tiny. I wasn't sick; I was strong.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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8960f8c
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Why? You want to know why? Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight. Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calli..
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eating-disorder
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e66c9d5
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I know my head isn't screwed on straight. I want to leave, transfer, warp myself to another galaxy. I want to confess everything, hand over the guilt and mistake and anger to someone else. There is a beast in my gut, I can hear it scraping away at the inside of my ribs. Even if I dump the memory, it will stay with me, staining me. My closest is a good thing, a quiet place that helps me hold these thoughts inside my head where no one can hea..
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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bc8cd0b
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This is where you can find your soul if you dare. Where you can touch that part of you that you've never dared look at before. Do not come here and ask me to show you how to draw a face. Ask me to help you find the wind.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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f5af1ec
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I knew how much it hurt to be the daughter of people who can't see you, not even if you are standing in front of them stomping your feet.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e5f5cd1
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IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding.
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fears
reality-of-life
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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d2ad788
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Be careful what you wish for. There's always a catch.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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c993e41
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I want to go to sleep and not wake up, but I don't want to die. I want to eat like a normal person eats, but I need to see my bones or I will hate myself even more and I might cut my heart out or take every pill that was ever made.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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c35322f
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You're not dead, but you're not alive, either. You're a wintergirl, Lia-Lia, caught in between the worlds. You're a ghost with a beating heart. Soon you'll cross the border and be with me. I'm so stoked. I miss you wicked.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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863e152
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Sometimes I think high school is one long hazy activity: if you are tough enough to survive this, they'll let you become an adult. I hope it's worth it.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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4b104ca
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I lift my arm out of the water. It's a log. Put it back under and it blows up even bigger. People see the log and call it a twig. They yell at me because I can't see what they see. Nobody can explain to me why my eyes work different than theirs. Nobody can make it stop.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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777e80e
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If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem.
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humor
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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f5b1623
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When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time. You'd be shocked at how many adults are really dead inside--walking through their days with no idea who they are, just waiting for a heart attack or cancer or a Mack truck to come along and finish the job. It's the saddest thing I know.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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637fb20
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For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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79fed16
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I need a new friend. I need a friend, period. Not a true friend, nothing close or share clothes or sleepover giggle giggle yak yak. Just a pseudo-friend, disposable friend. Friend as accessory. Just so I don't feel or look so stupid.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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68ee38e
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Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all "a disappointment." Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this."
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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eb36d9c
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Why not spend that time on art: painting, sculpting, charcoal, pastel, oils? Are words or numbers more important than images? Who decides this? Does algebra move you to tears? Can plural possessives express the feelings in your heart? If you don't learn art now, you will never learn to breathe!
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education
artistic-training
liberal-arts
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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b70cac3
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Do they choose to be so dense? Were they born that way? I have no friends. I have nothing. I say nothing. I am nothing.
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speak
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Laurie Halse Anderson |