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4ac9748
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There is a beast in my gut, I can hear it scraping away at the inside of my ribs. Even if I dump the memory, it will stay with me, staining me. My closest is a good thing, a quiet place that helps me hold these thoughts inside my head where no one can hear them.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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adffc20
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I spent the last Friday of summer vacation spreading hot, sticky tar across the roof of George Washington High. My companions were Dopey, Toothless, and Joe, the brain surgeons in charge of building maintenance. At least they were getting paid. I was working forty feet above the ground, breathing in sulfur fumes from Satan's vomitorium, for free. , my father said. , the judge said. Court-ordered restitution for the Foul Deed. He nailed me w..
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community-service
hard-labor
wit
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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1a16ca3
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I won't take a real nap. I have this halfway place, a rest stop on the road to sleep, where I can stay for hours. I don't even need to close my eyes, just stay safe under the covers and breathe.
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sleep
sleepless
relax
restless
tired
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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70f20ab
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Emma hears me come up the stairs and asks me to watch a movie with her. I stick Band-Aids on my weeping cuts, put on pink pajamas so we match, and snuggle with her under her rainbow comforter. She arranges all of her stuffed animals around us in a circle, everyone facing the TV, then presses play...Ghosts dare not enter here.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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5694ce8
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It made me strong.I took a step back, near my whole self in the mirror.I pushed back my shoulders and raised my chin, my back straight as an arrow.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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1a307ec
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I just want to sleep. The whole point of not talking about it, of silencing the memory, is to make it go away. It won't. I'll need brain surgery to cut it out of my head.
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rape
sexual-assault
speak
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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469dbad
|
I am almost a real girl the entire drive home. I went to a diner. I drank hot chocolate and ate french fries. Talked to a guy for a while. Laughed a couple of times. A little like ice-skating for the first time, wobbly, but I did it.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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25297db
|
I need to finish this scarf/shawl/blanket thing so I can start something for Emma- a hat, maybe, or a sweater for her stuffed elephant.
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sisters
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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852de05
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Gossip is the foul smell from the Devil's backside.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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c81d556
|
I turned the page in Slaughterhouse Five, a forbidden book at Belmont because we were too young to read about soldiers swearing and bombs dropping and bodies blowing up and war sucking.
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war
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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41c88c0
|
I'm angry that I starved my brain and that I sat shivering in my bed at night instead of dancing or reading poetry or eating icecream or kissing a boy or maybe a girl...
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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95e23ab
|
IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. Andy Evans raped me in August when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening. It wasn't my fault. He hurt me. It wasn't my fault. And I'm not going to let it kill me. I can grow.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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5f5f2ec
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She cannot chain my soul.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0ff5e25
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I think you have a lot to say. I'd like to hear it.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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8b5e0d6
|
I didn't fit. I was a different size, a different shape. I kept trying to squeeze into a body, a skin suit, that was too small. It rubbed me the wrong way. I blistered. I callused. I scarred over and it kept hurting. I would never fit. But, really, I didn't want to fit. That's why it was hard.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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a889f4c
|
If that was life, then it was twisted.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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a557122
|
Think about love, or hate, or joy, or pain- whatever makes you feel something, makes your palms sweat, or your toes curl. Focus on that feeling. When people don't express themselves, they die on piece at a time.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0a7f077
|
Had she ever enjoyed anything? Had every day been a struggle? Perhaps death would be a release, a rest for the weary.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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94967ef
|
Shards of glass slip down the wall and into the sink. IT pulls away from me, puzzled. I reach in and wrap my fingers around a triangle of glass. I hold it to Andy Evans's neck. He freezes. I push just hard enough to raise one drop of blood. He raises his arms over his head. My hand quivers. I want to insert the glass all the way through his throat, I want to hear him scream. I look up. I see the stubble on his chin, a fleck of white in the ..
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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b09b2d0
|
I closed my eyes and let my enemy win.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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eb63d69
|
Which was better: being alive (if that was the right word) but not remembering anything, or being dead?
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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29929c2
|
This camp is a forge for the army; it's testing our mettle. Instead of heat and hammer, our trials are cold and hunger. Question is, what are we made of?
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0a9663e
|
I nod like I'm listening,like we're communicating, and she never knows the difference.
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|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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92bcbd5
|
All of my answers were drawings of armored unicorns.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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21c8453
|
I smile and play pretend through the Morning Show in the kitchen.
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|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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15812aa
|
I am an iceberg drifting toward the edge of the map.
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|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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ea4535d
|
The merry-go-round is spinning too fast. I want to get off. I want to close my eyes, or just blink.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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4b105bc
|
We should teach our girls that snapping is ok, instead of waiting for someone else to break them.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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a76d054
|
Why don't you want to see your mom? Did she burn your dolls in a sacrificial fire? Read your e-mail?" "She wants to run my life," I explain. "What a bitch. It's like she thinks she's your mother or something." "She's a psychopath," I said. "It's complicated." "Psychopaths can't afford fur coats." "This one can."
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teens-on-parents
mothers-and-daughters
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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305c856
|
The time has come to arm-wrestle some demons.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e878a11
|
The stars whirled above us and the firecrackers blazed. The moon stood watch as drops of blood fell, careless seeds that sizzled in the snow.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e9a26bc
|
Maybe I'll be an artist if I grow up.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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b37ffe8
|
It was like looking at a knot, knowing it was a knot, but not knowing how to untie it. I had no map for this life.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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8ca0e7c
|
I sent a simple smiley face, because my phone did not have a smiley face that was wrapping her hands around her own throat and beating her head against a wall.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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de429b6
|
There is something about Christmas that requires a rug rat. Little kids make Christmas fun. I wonder if could rent one for the holidays.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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0cdf948
|
I handed my tools. The two of them reached down to help me out of the crater I'd dug. ''Isn't that a little deep?'' Yoda asked. ''It'll help the roots get established,'' I explained. ''Established where? China?
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humor
digging
garden
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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e113e78
|
Did you read last nights assignments?" Say "yes'" and get hammered again. Say "no'" and the same thing would happen."
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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1023531
|
The smoke shifted direction and I breathed in. Breathed out. On the inhale I was angry. On the exhale...there it was again. Fear. The fear made me angry and the anger made me afraid and I wasn't sure who he was anymore. Or who I was.
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fear
identity
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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f43b267
|
I know how bad you feel. Trapped," she says. "It gets better, I promise. So much better."
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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073e7b3
|
I could never hate you, even if I wanted to.
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love
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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783cacf
|
Love messes you up and makes you do strange things.
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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8fca30b
|
What did it feel like to die? Was it a peaceful sleep? Some thought it was full of either trumpet-blowing angels or angry devils. Perhaps I was already dead.
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|
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
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ca1b6e6
|
the false innocence you render for them by censoring truth protects only you
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|
lies
falsehood
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |
|
7008764
|
It's always there--fear--and if you don't stay on top of it, you'll drown.
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|
|
Laurie Halse Anderson |