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a78927b
|
It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't think the world could handle such an explosion of amazingness. So instead of letting me get to the gym where I would have transformed myself into a walking sex god, he created a Dunkin' Donuts out of nothing and then gave them away for free. I didn't make it to the gym. I had a bear claw instead. And a maple bar. And some donut hole..
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T.J. Klune |
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5fa6834
|
I like you," Gary finally said in a low voice. "Thank you? I thought you already did." "No. Like, I like you. Before, I was just pretending. I actually think I almost despised you. But now I don't." "You almost despised me." "Almost." "And now you don't." "Now I don't." "Because...." Gary breathed more on his face, nostrils flaring. Then (finally), "Unicorns are fickle creatures. I don't need a reason to change my mind. It's been done and..
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ryan
unicorn
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T.J. Klune |
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f83aef2
|
Because sometimes it's about letting go of what your mind tells you and following what your heart shows you instead. That's how you know it will always be real.
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letting-go
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T.J. Klune |
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8da9da7
|
Round 5: Telling him I felt bad about the puppy-shirt thing, I told him we could go pick out a dog at the pound now that we had a yard for it. Instead, I took him to the dentist. Winner: Bear "Rock Star" McKenna."
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T.J. Klune |
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7315bd3
|
I think you are seriously overestimating my dancing abilities. My kind of dancing usually ends up on the Internet, where people watch it so they can stop feeling sorry about their own lives. You know how people say they have two left feet? It's like I have no feet and my stumps are attached to wheels shaped like triangles.
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T.J. Klune |
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d0ea5f1
|
Sometimes I think I like you," Gus said. "And then you talk or breathe or exist and I'm not so sure."
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T.J. Klune |
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ee62246
|
Oh my god, Ox, your life is like those shitty sparkly vampire movies. That I've never seen and don't like at all, shut up." "Oh"
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T.J. Klune |
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97f04c9
|
Because you love me," I said, sounding smug. "More like you grew on me," he said. "Like fungus."
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sam
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T.J. Klune |
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4004641
|
Wait until you meet the therapist. That bad? Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person. Like Santa Claus? More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons. So, like a leprechaun? Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun. I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens. I dare you.
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T.J. Klune |
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644533b
|
it's not about where you come from. It's about who you are
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T.J. Klune |
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800e9e8
|
Or not," I said as I ground my teeth. "I like to masticate by myself." "And you're so good at it," Gary said. "The up and down motions of your... jaw. And then, upon completion, you swallow. Right, Sam? You swallow, don't you?" "Of course I do," I said, confused. What the hell were we talking about now? "I always swallow when I finish. What am I supposed to do? Spit it back out?"
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T.J. Klune |
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98daea5
|
I'm sorry I made an oath. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And I'm sorry that I can't break it. But you have to believe me that it's always been you. I promise. I promise." His voice cracked and my hands shook. "I promise, because when I look upon these stars, there is nothing I wish for more than you."
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T.J. Klune |
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3e5f7e4
|
Our eyes met like a car crash, colliding and breaking away.
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T.J. Klune |
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2543d2b
|
Please let it be known that from this day forward my working title for the business is now 'Queen of the Fuck Palace!
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T.J. Klune |
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a0ed198
|
I don't have time for all the relations and courting and wooing bullshit," I said. "I'm a wizard. I have quests." "Uh, you're an apprentice," Gary said. "And you're sent on errands."
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sam
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T.J. Klune |
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f6aafad
|
You okay, Sam?" "Ha-ha, why wouldn't I be? Everything is peachy! I'm okay. I'm better than okay." "Okay. I only ask because you haven't stopped staring at me for the last four hours." "You lie with all your lies!"
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sam
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T.J. Klune |
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53bede4
|
He snorted into his radicchio, which I admired because it was a pretty purple. The radicchio was purple, not his snort. Just in case you got confused there. I don't think it's possible for people to snort colors. We're not unicorns, after all.
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T.J. Klune |
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1873cd9
|
After all, one does not scream at lesbians in Doc Martens unless one wants to receive a penis kicking.
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T.J. Klune |
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f8bcc60
|
Sometimes I float along the river For its surface I am bound And there are times stones done fill my pockets And it's into this river I drown
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T.J. Klune |
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a56db54
|
Please just let me have you. Please. Nothing else matters if I can't have you.
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T.J. Klune |
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fd427c7
|
You think I gave you ?" "Maybe." Is there anything about me that screams crack?" He grinned as he swayed. "Your butt crack," he whispered before dissolving into giggles."
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T.J. Klune |
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d33dcdf
|
Be gone, you he-bitch!
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T.J. Klune |
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4984ef5
|
Look. This has been... fun." Lie. This had been nerve-racking and I needed to go masturbate. "But I have to go. I've got stuff to do before I head out again." Masturbate. "Wizard stuff. Like... secret wizard stuff." Masturbate."
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T.J. Klune |
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be6e1b8
|
The color of your dress really brings out the extraordinary paleness of your skin tone. Are you unwell? Dying, perhaps?
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tina
|
T.J. Klune |
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a4607e7
|
Sometimes I wonder if you should be on medication," Charlie said. "It can't be healthy to have you thinking all by yourself without some kind of pharmaceutical intervention."
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T.J. Klune |
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9ea7952
|
I asked him once why he wanted to see the sun rise every morning, what it was that caused him to be out here at the crack of dawn every day. He watched me for a moment before looking back at the horizon. "Its beauty," he said. "It reminds me every day that there is beauty in the world. That even though it may feel like we are alone sometimes, we are never truly alone."
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T.J. Klune |
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b6da7a9
|
I like your shoes," I said. Because I did. They were pink and pointed, and I wanted a pair like that so bad. My mom and dad groaned. Morgan looked at me and cocked his head. "Thank you, little one. I made them out of the tears of a succubus and a lightning-struck tree stump I found under the Winter Moon. I like your face." I grinned. "Thank you, big one. My parents made it when they got married. I was a honeymoon baby, whatever that means."
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sam
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T.J. Klune |
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7a2724c
|
That's a federal crime," I told him. "Punishable by three to five years in a minimum-security prison. You'll get passed around like condiments at a barbeque." "My hole is already quivering," he said."
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T.J. Klune |
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aa35db2
|
My future," Joe said, "is Ox." Ah god, that made me ache. "Is that so?" Mom asked. "How do you figure?" "He's really nice," Joe said seriously. "And smells good. And he makes me happy. And I want to do nothing more than put my mouth on him." "Ah"
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T.J. Klune |
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99a5d72
|
I want to court your son." "What does that mean?" she asked. "It means I want to provide for him to prove my worth," Joe said. "And then, once he agrees to be mine, I'll mount him and then bite him and everyone will see that we belong to each other." I"
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T.J. Klune |
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01321a2
|
So he pressed his forehead against mine and breathed me in and there was that sun, okay? That sun between us, that bond that burned and burned and burned because he'd given it to me. Because he'd chosen me. And I got to choose him back.
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T.J. Klune |
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0ffc046
|
My daddy had told me once that people were gonna give me shit all my life. The monster had told Joe that his family didn't want him anymore. We'd have to live with that, those things that were whispered in our ears. Maybe we'd never be free of those shadows. Not completely. But we'd still fight like hell. And maybe that's all that mattered.
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T.J. Klune |
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3032d10
|
I don't even you!" "Oh," Casey said, "You will." "Don't you threaten me!"
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T.J. Klune |
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59fb5b9
|
You were his, Ox. Even then. And he was yours." I"
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T.J. Klune |
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e842678
|
'There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. There's no reason for you to do it to yourself.'
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T.J. Klune |
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950e1b6
|
The measure of a man, she said finally, is not the words that mark his end, but everything he's done since his beginning.
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T.J. Klune |
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57eb2ac
|
You just have to believe," I said as I flexed. "I believe you should work out more if you're going to keep doing that," Gary said. "Because it's making me feel sad for you."
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sam-of-wilds
|
T.J. Klune |
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83d13e6
|
He tethered me to him, my magnetic north, while my mind went here or there. I always knew. Somehow I always knew.
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T.J. Klune |
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ee85b37
|
Everyone grieves differently. No one handles the loss of a loved one the same. Some put on a brave face for others, keeping everything internal. Others let it all out at once and shatter, only to pick up the pieces just as quickly as they came apart. Still others don't grieve at all, implying they are incapable of emotion. Then there are the ones like me, where grief is a badge we wear, where it's hard to let go because we don't want to. W..
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T.J. Klune |
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918281b
|
Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex. This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. He said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to..
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romance
funny
m-m
parenting
child
|
T.J. Klune |
|
1c92d8c
|
There was a clearing in the middle of the woods. It tasted of lightning and magic. Of claw and fang. And in the middle of this clearing sat a man who had once been a boy. A boy who I had loved. Then a monster had come to town with murder on his mind and tore a hole in our heads and hearts. The boy chased after the monster with revenge in his bloodred eyes. The monster was gone now. And so was the boy. Because a man had taken his plac..
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T.J. Klune |
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01b76ad
|
You can plan for life, but life always has plans of its own.
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T.J. Klune |
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b886f88
|
I just want to be wherever you are.
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T.J. Klune |
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185f0b7
|
Ix-nay!" I hissed at him. "Ix-nay!" I didn't know why I resorted to Pig Latin right then. It just seemed like the thing to do."
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T.J. Klune |