e23a7d0
|
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
|
|
right-of-passage
self-determination
inspirational
self-responsibility
personal-responsibility
growing-up
innocence
parenting
|
Anne Frank |
d007b3e
|
I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.
|
|
wisdom
parenting
|
Umberto Eco |
0812cc5
|
I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms, allow them to take the subway... let them be better people, let them believe more in themselves.
|
|
motherhood
kids
inspirational-life
inspirational-quotes
life-and-living
living
inspiring
life
inspirational
parenting-children
fatherhood
growing-up
parenting
children
childhood
parenthood
|
C. JoyBell C. |
164a53c
|
Each suburban wife struggles with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question-- 'Is this all?
|
|
marriage
feminism
inspirational
housekeeping
existentialism
purpose
parenting
|
Betty Friedan |
ca5985e
|
I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.
|
|
love
parenting
|
Anne Lamott |
b23f653
|
But kids don't stay with you if you do it right. It's the one job where, the better you are, the more surely you won't be needed in the long run.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
|
Barbara Kingsolver |
0beacb9
|
Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.
|
|
motherhood
mothering
parenting
mother
|
Robert A. Heinlein |
2aa787e
|
Adults constantly raise the bar on smart children, precisely because they're able to handle it. The children get overwhelmed by the tasks in front of them and gradually lose the sort of openness and sense of accomplishment they innately have. When they're treated like that, children start to crawl inside a shell and keep everything inside. It takes a lot of time and effort to get them to open up again. Kids' hearts are malleable, but once they gel it's hard to get them back the way they were.
|
|
parenting
teaching
|
Haruki Murakami |
96d6ba1
|
To be in your children's memories tomorrow
|
|
inspirational
parenting
|
Barbara Johnson |
015d2d5
|
"Babies are soft. Anyone looking at them can see the tender, fragile skin and know it for the rose-leaf softness that invites a finger's touch. But when you live with them and love them, you feel the softness going inward, the round-cheeked flesh wobbly as custard, the boneless splay of the tiny hands. Their joints are melted rubber, and even when you kiss them hard, in the passion of loving their existence, your lips sink down and seem never to find bone. Holding them against you, they melt and mold, as though they might at any moment flow back into your body. But from the very start, there is that small streak of steel within each child. That thing that says "I am," and forms the core of personality. In the second year, the bone hardens and the child stands upright, skull wide and solid, a helmet protecting the softness within. And "I am" grows, too. Looking at them, you can almost see it, sturdy as heartwood, glowing through the translucent flesh. The bones of the face emerge at six, and the soul within is fixed at seven. The process of encapsulation goes on, to reach its peak in the glossy shell of adolescence, when all softness then is hidden under the nacreous layers of the multiple new personalities that teenagers try on to guard themselves. In the next years, the hardening spreads from the center, as one finds and fixes the facets of the soul, until "I am" is set, delicate and detailed as an insect in amber." --
|
|
motherhood
parenting
children
vulnerability
|
Diana Gabaldon |
775dbbb
|
Perhaps it takes courage to raise children..
|
|
parenting
|
John Steinbeck |
4e19b7e
|
(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.
|
|
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
f9a1acf
|
I know it is hard for you young mothers to believe that almost before you can turn around the children will be gone and you will be alone with your husband. You had better be sure you are developing the kind of love and friendship that will be delightful and enduring. Let the children learn from your attitude that he is important. Encourage him. Be kind. It is a rough world, and he, like everyone else, is fighting to survive. Be cheerful. Don't be a whiner.
|
|
inspirational
parenting
|
Marjorie Pay Hinckley |
3ffe4c6
|
I would have given anything to keep her little. They outgrow us so much faster than we outgrow them. Brian Fitzgerald, talking about his children.
|
|
parenting
parents
|
Jodi Picoult |
00c7bc7
|
Was it the act of giving birth that made you a mother? Did you lose that label when you relinquished your child? If people were measured by their deeds, on the one hand, I had a woman who had chosen to give me up; on the other, I had a woman who'd sat up with me at night when I was sick as a child, who'd cried with me over boyfriends, who'd clapped fiercely at my law school graduation. Which acts made you more of a mother? Both, I realized. Being a parent wasn't just about bearing a child. It was about bearing witness to its life.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
children
|
Jodi Picoult |
4e08ef3
|
Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street.
|
|
parenting
parents
|
Neil Gaiman |
675513f
|
But she needs me more than she needs him and I guess being needed is almost as good as being loved. Maybe better.
|
|
love
parenting
|
Betty Smith |
89af7b6
|
Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are.
|
|
family
inspirational
parenting
|
Cheryl Lacey Donovan |
0174a94
|
Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.
|
|
parenting
|
Barbara Kingsolver |
33e2dfe
|
In a culture which holds the two-parent patriarchal family in higher esteem than any other arrangement, all children feel emotionally insecure when their family does not measure up to the standard. A utopian vision of the patriarchal family remains intact despite all the evidence which proves that the well-being of children is no more secure in the dysfunctional male-headed household than in the dysfunctional female-headed household. Children need to be raised in loving environments. Whenever domination is present love is lacking. Loving parents, be they single or coupled, gay or straight, headed by females or males, are more likely to raise healthy, happy children with sound self-esteem. In future feminist movement we need to work harder to show parents the ways ending sexism positively changes family life. Feminist movement is pro-family. Ending patriarchal domination of children, by men or women, is the only way to make the family a place where children can be safe, where they can be free, where they can know love
|
|
feminism
parenting
|
bell hooks |
dcdc88f
|
I've found what makes children happy doesn't always prepare them to be courageous, engaged adults.
|
|
courage
parenting
|
Brené Brown |
69220d7
|
Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.
|
|
inspirational-attitude
parenting
self-help
|
Brené Brown |
b377606
|
Parenting is really just a matter of tracking, of hoping your kids do not get so far ahead you can no longer see their next moves.
|
|
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
d320edc
|
My father liked me, when I wasna being an idiot. And he loved me, too -- enough to beat the daylights out of me when I was being an idiot. Jamie Fraser
|
|
spanking
parenting
|
Diana Gabaldon |
431335c
|
He could not construct for the child's pleasure the world he'd lost without constructing the loss as well and he thought perhaps the child had known this better than he.
|
|
loss
parenting
|
Cormac McCarthy |
8f82b5f
|
"Sadie," he said forlornly, "when you become a parent, you may understand this. One of my hardest jobs as a father, one of my greatest duties, was to realize that my own dreams, my own goals and wishes, are secondary to my children's."
|
|
self-sacrifice
parenting
father
|
Rick Riordan |
8a1edb0
|
"You can't cling to the side your whole life, that one lesson every parent needs to teach a child is "If you don't want to sink, you better figure out how to swim"
|
|
life
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
4f8a7b3
|
Be a full person. Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.
|
|
parenting
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
a25c9e3
|
[My dad] didn't do much apart from the traditional winning of bread. He didn't take me to get my hair cut or my teeth cleaned; he didn't make the appointments. He didn't shop for my clothes. He didn't make my breakfast, lunch, or dinner. My mom did all of those things, and nobody ever told her when she did them that it made her a good mother.
|
|
parenting
parent
mother
|
Michael Chabon |
4bf0d19
|
We pretend that we know our children, because it's easier than admitting the truth--from the minute that cord is cut, they are strangers. It's far easier to tell yourself your daughter is still a little girl than to see her in a bikini and realize she has the curves of a young woman; it's safer to say you're a good parent who has all the right conversations about drugs and sex than to acknowledge there are a thousand things she would never tell you.
|
|
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
340892d
|
The Children's Hour Between the dark and the daylight, When the night is beginning to lower, Comes a pause in the day's occupations, That is known as the Children's Hour. I hear in the chamber above me The patter of little feet, The sound of a door that is opened, And voices soft and sweet. From my study I see in the lamplight, Descending the broad hall stair, Grave Alice, and laughing Allegra, And Edith with golden hair. A whisper, and then a silence: Yet I know by their merry eyes They are plotting and planning together To take me by surprise. A sudden rush from the stairway, A sudden raid from the hall! By three doors left unguarded They enter my castle wall! They climb up into my turret O'er the arms and back of my chair; If I try to escape, they surround me; They seem to be everywhere. They almost devour me with kisses, Their arms about me entwine, Till I think of the Bishop of Bingen In his Mouse-Tower on the Rhine! Do you think, o blue-eyed banditti, Because you have scaled the wall, Such an old mustache as I am Is not a match for you all! I have you fast in my fortress, And will not let you depart, But put you down into the dungeon In the round-tower of my heart. And there will I keep you forever, Yes, forever and a day, Till the walls shall crumble to ruin, And moulder in dust away!
|
|
poetry
love
parenting
children
|
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
cd640fc
|
If you, as a parent, raise your children well, they won't need you anymore. If you did it properly, they go away.
|
|
letting-go
parenting
|
Neil Gaiman |
a9206fc
|
If you want to be treated like a mother, act like one.
|
|
mothers
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
a18df4b
|
To look deep into your child's eyes and see in him both yourself and something utterly strange, and then to develop a zealous attachment to every aspect of him, is to achieve parenthood's self-regarding, yet unselfish, abandon. It is astonishing how often such mutuality had been realized - how frequently parents who had supposed that they couldn't care for an exceptional child discover that they can. The parental predisposition to love prevails in the most harrowing of circumstances. There is more imagination in the world than one might think.
|
|
love
parenting
|
Andrew Solomon |
ad96ff1
|
"Ask your child for information in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, with specific, clear questions. Instead of "How was your day?" try "What did you do in math class today?" Instead of "Do you like your teacher?" ask "What do you like about your teacher?" Or "What do you not like so much?" Let her take her time to answer. Try to avoid asking, in the overly bright voice of parents everywhere, "Did you have fun in school today?!" She'll sense how important it is that the answer be yes."
|
|
parenting
|
Susan Cain |
32b6a6f
|
Without the support from religion--remember, we talked about it--no father, using only his own resources, would be able to bring up a child.
|
|
religion
parenting
children
father
|
Leo Tolstoy |
c3269e5
|
Hey, great idea: if you have kids, give your partner reading vouchers next Christmas. Each voucher entitles the bearer to two hours' reading time *while the kids are awake*. It might look like a cheapskate present, but parents will appreciate that it costs more in real terms than a Lamborghini.
|
|
reading
parenting
gifts
|
Nick Hornby |
ffc0fe1
|
And have your mother put my head on a stake? Do you have any notion what that would do to my handsome good looks?
|
|
parenting
obedience
|
Catherine Gilbert Murdock |
3c7399a
|
We are all, I suppose, beholden to our parents - the question is, how much?
|
|
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
559b050
|
If the justification for controlling women's bodies were about women themselves, then it would be understandable. If, for example, the reason was 'women should not wear short skirts because they can get cancer if they do.' Instead the reason is not about women, but about men. Women must be 'covered up' to protect men. I find this deeply dehumanizing because it reduces women to mere props used to manage the appetites of men.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
4547f7e
|
No child is born a delinquent. They only became that way if nobody loved them when they were kids. Unloved children grow up to be serial murderers or alcoholics.
|
|
life
love
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
ae9975a
|
What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.
|
|
parenting-tip
parenting-advice
parenting
|
Joseph Chilton Pearce |
b9bae0b
|
The last time Assistant Principal Parker called, a girl in the school's locker room had accused Julie of being a whore during the two years she'd spent on the street. My kid took exception to that and decided to communicate that by applying a chair to the offending party's head. I'd told her to go for the gut next time- it left less evidence.
|
|
parenting
|
Ilona Andrews |
7053c16
|
The danger of motherhood. you relive your early self, through the eyes of your mother.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
|
Joyce Carol Oates |
dcf34fc
|
The best way to guide children without coercion is to be ourselves.
|
|
parenting
|
Madeleine L'Engle |
19bf3b6
|
With children the clock is reset. We forget what came before
|
|
motherhood
parenting
|
Jhumpa Lahiri |
d49f54d
|
Your father, Jo. He never loses patience,--never doubts or complains,--but always hopes, and works and waits so cheerfully, that one is ashamed to do otherwise before him. He helped and comforted me, and showed me that I must try to practise all the virtues I would have my little girls possess, for I was their example. It was easier for your sakes than for my own; a startled or surprised look from one of you, when I spoke sharply, rebuked me more than any words could have done; and the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.
|
|
parenting
|
Louisa May Alcott |
e047006
|
I wondered how long it took for a baby to become yours, for familiarity to set in. Maybe as long as it took a new car to lose that scent, or a brand-new house to gather dust. Maybe that was the process more commonly described as bonding: the act of learning your child as well as you know yourself.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
children
|
Jodi Picoult |
d358f9d
|
It's not politically correct to say that you love one child more than you love your others. I love of my kids, period, and they're all your favorites in different ways. But ask any parent who's been through some kind of crisis surrounding a child--a health scare, an academic snarl, an emotional problem--and we will tell you the truth. When something upends the equilibrium--when one child needs you more than the others--that imbalance becomes a black hole. You may never admit it out loud, but the one you love the most is the one who needs you more desperately than his siblings. What we really hope is that each child gets a turn. That we have deep enough reserves to be there for each of them, at different times. All this goes to hell when two of your children are pitted against each other, and both of them want you on their side.
|
|
love
favoritism
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
13e92cf
|
Why children?' he asked. 'Why always children? For love to end where it begins is far more beautiful, and Nature knows it.
|
|
nature
love
homosexuality
sterility
parenting
|
E.M. Forster |
873cafc
|
"I went away and cried to the Master of the Universe, "What have you done to me? A mind like this I need for a son? A heart I need for a son, a soul I need for a son, compassion I want from my son, righteousness, mercy, strength to suffer and carry pain, that I want from my son, not a mind without a soul!"
|
|
compassion
intelligence
hasidic-judaism
judaism
parenting
|
Chaim Potok |
577bb48
|
Babies don't come with instruction booklets. You'd learn the same way we all do -- you'd read up on dinosaurs, you'd Google backhoes and skidders. And you don't need a penis to go buy a baseball glove.
|
|
humor
life
parenting
|
Jodi Picoult |
c5670bf
|
But no one is easier to delude than a parent; they see only what they wish to see.
|
|
parenting
|
Karen Joy Fowler |
c8d9e6a
|
What doesn't kill you will make you stronger
|
|
life
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
8b36cfd
|
History repeated itself. The 'don't do the things I did' mantra was tiresome pish. The best way to make sure your children don't grow up as cunts is not to be one yourself - or not to let them SEE you being one. This is easier as a sober artist in Santa Barbara than as an alcoholic jailbird in Leith.
|
|
parenting
|
Irvine Welsh |
a1265cf
|
God, why does a mortal man have children? It is senseless to love anything this much.
|
|
parenting
|
Barbara Kingsolver |
5265e36
|
A stodgy parent is no fun at all. What a child wants and deserves is a parent who is SPARKY
|
|
parenting
|
Roald Dahl |
918281b
|
"...Ty grabbed my phone and threatened to tell Otter that I liked being spanked during sex. This proceeded to lead up on a long tangent where I had to have him explain to me how he knows about stuff like people getting spanked during sex. He said he might have heard it mentioned while watching MSNBC. I told him he was grounded from watching the news channels for a week. That's where this whole sidebar should have ended, but then I was forced to explain S & M and bondage to my little brother, who was persistent on the topic, and who kept staring at me with mounting horror when I finally /did/ explain, and I realized I had maybe gone too far, and we had to spend the next five minutes swearing to God that I had never nor would I ever attempt to do anything like that. He might now be the only nine-year-old who has heard the terms "cock ring" and "fisting". My parenting skills are unparalleled."
|
|
romance
funny
m-m
parenting
child
|
T.J. Klune |
10a09d2
|
I guess you just have to trust your kids, trust that their innate interest in life will win out in the end, don't you think?
|
|
life
love
parenting
parenthood
|
George Saunders |
0682fd1
|
My parents were nonmaterialistic. They believed that money without knowledge was worthless, that education tempered with religion was the way to climb out of poverty in America, and over the years they were proven right.
|
|
money
religion
inspirational
parenting
|
James McBride |
a0423b7
|
No, Miss Wright didn't want to meet her kid. To her, that relationship was just as important, just as ideal and impossible as it would be to the child. She'd expect that young man to be perfect, smart, and talented, everything to compensate for all the mistakes that she'd made. The whole wasted, unhappy mess of her life.
|
|
relationship
snuff
parenting
parents
parent
children
|
Chuck Palahniuk |
24ee7b5
|
People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul...
|
|
kids-funny
suffering
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
5138a1f
|
From the time he was young, he dressed the way you told him to dress; he acted the way you told him to act; he said the things you told him to say. He's been listening to somebody else tell him what to do... He hasn't changed. He is still listening to somebody else tell him what to do. The problem is, it isn't you any,ore; it's his peers.
|
|
youth
teenagers-and-parents
peer-pressure
parenting
children
|
Barbara Coloroso |
a0d5526
|
There is entirely too much tut-tutting in this realm, if you ask me. All these kings would do a deal better if they put down their swords and listened to their mothers.
|
|
olenna-tyrell
queen-of-thorns
parenting
mother
|
George R.R. Martin |
70f89d6
|
"But, Dad..." She hesitated. "It will mean raising me all over again. It means suffering through my childhood for a third time. No parent should be asked to do that." Sol managed a smile. "No parent would refuse that, Rachel." --
|
|
love
parenting
|
Dan Simmons |
6585750
|
Now and again, one could detect in a childless woman of a certain age the various characteristics of all the children she had never issued. Her body was haunted by the ghost of souls who hadn't lived yet. Premature ghosts. Half-ghosts. X's without Y's. Y's without X's. They applied at her womb and were denied, but, meant for her and no one else, they wouldn't go away. Like tiny ectoplasmic gophers, they hunkered in her tear ducts. They shone through her sighs. Often to her chagrin, they would soften the voice she used in the marketplace. When she spilled wine, it was their playful antics that jostled the glass. They called out her name in the bath or when she passed real children in the street. The spirit babies were everywhere her companions, and everywhere they left her lonesome - yet they no more bore her resentment than a seed resents uneaten fruit. Like pet gnats, like phosphorescence, like sighs on a string, they would follow her into eternity.
|
|
science
life
fertility
parenting
|
tom robbins |
d520aa2
|
"Don't even think about it." "Well, when I walk by myself?" "When you get your driver's license." "You always, always say that." Dillie scowled at him. "That's when happens." "It's going to be a busy day," Phin agreed."
|
|
parenting
|
Jennifer Crusie |
accd664
|
Fussing over children who cry only encourages them. That's positive reinforcement for negative behavior.
|
|
cry
parenting
|
Jeannette Walls |
a762a40
|
Patty believed that parents have a duty to teach their children how to recognize reality when they see it.
|
|
reality
religion
page-81
parenting
parents
|
Jonathan Franzen |
aa241bf
|
What did I tell you about plastic ties? Only for humans, Julie murmured. If you don't listen to me, I can't teach you anything.
|
|
kate-daniels
parenting
|
ilona andrews |
8655986
|
Father had stretched out his long legs and was tilting back in his chair. Mother sat with her knees crossed, in blue slacks, smoking a Chesterfield. The dessert dishes were still on the table. My sisters were nowhere in evidence. It was a warm evening; the big dining-room windows gave onto blooming rhododendrons. Mother regarded me warmly. She gave me to understand that she was glad I had found what I had been looking for, but that she and father were happy to sit with their coffee, and would not be coming down. She did not say, but I understood at once, that they had their pursuits (coffee?) and I had mine. She did not say, but I began to understand then, that you do what you do out of your private passion for the thing itself. I had essentially been handed my own life. In subsequent years my parents would praise my drawings and poems, and supply me with books, art supplies, and sports equipment, and listen to my troubles and enthusiasms, and supervise my hours, and discuss and inform, but they would not get involved with my detective work, nor hear about my reading, nor inquire about my homework or term papers or exams, nor visit the salamanders I caught, nor listen to me play the piano, nor attend my field hockey games, nor fuss over my insect collection with me, or my poetry collection or stamp collection or rock collection. My days and nights were my own to plan and fill.
|
|
imagination
benign-neglect
parenting
curiosity
childhood
|
Annie Dillard |
aaef0a6
|
The only power that can effect transformations of the order (of Jesus) is love. It remained for the 20th century to discover that locked within the atom is the energy of the sun itself. For this energy to be released, the atom must be bombarded from without. So too, locked in every human being is a store of love that partakes of the divine- the imago dei, image of god...And it too can be activated only through bombardment, in its case, love's bombardment. The process begins in infancy, where a mother's initially unilateral loving smile awakens love in her baby and as coordination develops, elicits its answering smile... A loving human being is not produced by exhortations, rules and threats. Love can only take root in children when it comes to them- initially and most importantly from nurturing parents. Ontogenetically speaking, love is an answering phenomenon. It is literally a response.
|
|
spirituality
religion
parenting
|
Huston Smith |
21acfec
|
"Fear of the Dark I've always been prone to worry and anxiety, but after I became a mother, negotiating joy, gratitude, and scarcity felt like a full-time job. For years, my fear of something terrible happening to my children actually prevented me from fully embracing joy and gratitude. Every time I came too close to softening into sheer joyfulness about my children and how much I love them, I'd picture something terrible happening; I'd picture losing everything in a flash. At first I thought I was crazy. Was I the only person in the world who did this? As my therapist and I started working on it, I realized that "my too good to be true" was totally related to fear, scarcity, and vulnerability. Knowing that those are pretty universal emotions, I gathered up the courage to talk about my experiences with a group of five hundred parents who had come to one of my parenting lectures. I gave an example of standing over my daughter watching her sleep, feeling totally engulfed in gratitude, then being ripped out of that joy and gratitude by images of something bad happening to her. You could have heard a pin drop. I thought, Oh, God. I'm crazy and now they're all sitting there like, "She's a nut. How do we get out of here?" Then all of the sudden I heard the sound of a woman toward the back starting to cry. Not sniffle cry, but sob cry. That sound was followed by someone from the front shouting out, "Oh my God! Why do we do that? What does it mean?" The auditorium erupted in some kind of crazy parent revival. As I had suspected, I was not alone."
|
|
love
parenting
vulnerability
|
Brené Brown |
c7538bb
|
As his children, we were treated as some species of migrant workers who happened to be passing through. My father was the only person I ever knew who looked upon childhood as a dishonorable vocation one grew out of as quickly as possible.
|
|
maturity
parenting
|
Pat Conroy |
abc0cff
|
What makes people good communicators is, in essence, an ability not to be fazed by the more problematic or offbeat aspects of their own characters. They can contemplate their anger, their sexuality, and their unpopular, awkward, or unfashionable opinions without losing confidence or collapsing into self-disgust. They can speak clearly because they have managed to develop a priceless sense of their own acceptability. They like themselves well enough to believe that they are worthy of, and can win, the goodwill of others if only they have the wherewithal to present themselves with the right degree of patience and imagination. As children, these good communicators must have been blessed with caregivers who knew how to love their charges without demanding that every last thing about them be agreeable and perfect. Such parents would have been able to live with the idea that their offspring might sometimes--for a while, at least--be odd, violent, angry, mean, peculiar, or sad, and yet still deserve a place within the circle of familial love.
|
|
self-knowledge
family
communicators
self-acceptance
communication
parenting
parents
children
|
Alain de Botton |
1f3c377
|
How much [vastly {immensely tremendously}...] Anwar loves [t]his child. It continues to take him by surprise [even when she confounds him with the havoc of her room {for example} which she will proudly describe {defend!} as clean {those beautiful messes } even as {in the next moment} she will astonish Anwar with her fearless interest in life {despite the harrowing blows life continues to deliver her }].
|
|
love
parenting
|
Mark Z. Danielewski |
1f7047d
|
"If one were to list all the cruelties and maltreatments, both physical and emotional, that parents and adults inflict on children under the guise of love, the list would be a long one. But, going beyond such sinister examples, even kissing and hugging may or may not convey to a child that he is loved. Love is a feeling, an emotional state. Artists, writers, philosophers, poets have tried to define it. Marcel Proust says, "Love is space and time measured by the heart." What is space and time? It is the here and now. It is you. As unfortunately I am no poet, I will try to recall from my own experience how it feels to be truly loved by someone. It makes me feel good, it opens me up, it gives me strength, I feel less vulnerable, less lonely, less helpless, less confused, more honest, more rich; it fills me with hope, trust, creative energy and it refuels me. How do I perceive the other person who gives me these feelings? As honest, as one who sees and accepts me for what I really am, who objectively responds without being critical, whose authenticity and values I respect and who respects mine, who is available when needed, who listens and hears, who looks and sees me, who shares herself - who cares. Cares. To care is to put love in action. The way we care for our babies is then how they experience our love."
|
|
parenting
|
Magda Gerber |
8535d8e
|
Siddhartha began to understand that it was not happiness and peace that had come to him with his son but, rather, sorrow and worry. But he loved him and preferred the sorrow and worry of love to the happiness and peace he had known without the boy.
|
|
love
parenting
|
Hermann Hesse |
c46c2da
|
Anyone can make a baby, but it takes a man to be a father.
|
|
fatherhood
parenting
parents
father
|
Ta-Nehisi Coates |
f8b2513
|
Wonder isn't about finding answers; it's about becoming more comfortable with questions.
|
|
awe
elizabeth-gilbert
adventure-travel
parenting
|
Leigh Ann Henion |
c8e4de5
|
Do not expect too much from your child and she will grow in your love... But if you push her too much, you will push her away. A child is not yours to own but to raise. She may not be what you will have her to be, but she will be what she has to be. Remember what they say, that 'Wood may remain twenty years in the water, but it is still not a fish.
|
|
family
daughter
parenting
parenthood
|
Jane Yolen |
0590a0c
|
"Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books." - Bell Hooks"
|
|
hope
social-skills
stimming
meltdown
disability
parenting
mental-health
|
Win Quier |
c09da91
|
Children, who have so much to learn in so short a time, had involved the tendency to trust adults to instruct them in the collective knowledge of our species, and this trust confers survival value. But it also makes children vulnerable to being tricked and adults who exploit this vulnerability should be deeply ashamed.
|
|
manipulation
parenting
|
Rebecca Goldstein |
421f3e2
|
It was love without reason, love for something futureless, love that appeared to exist only to be itself, imperious and all demanding, the kind that would cause him to make a fool of himself in an instant.
|
|
unconditional-love
parenting
|
Flannery O'Connor |
af4e341
|
"Those books made it crystal clear that giving honey to your baby before he was a year old made you a terrible mother. The moment a spoon of honey would touch his lips, the words "Awful Mother" would appear on your forehead, forever branding you as a parenting failure."
|
|
parenting
expectations
|
Ilona Andrews |
0a88eb7
|
A father is as much a verb as a mother.
|
|
motherhood
parenting
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
26155ba
|
"Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting. In terms of teaching our children to dare greatly in the "never enough" culture, the question isn't so much "Are you parenting the right way?" as it is: "Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?" --
|
|
example
parenting
|
Brené Brown |
8cdc6ee
|
It is as hard for our children to believe that we are not omnipotent as it is for us to know it, as parents. But that knowledge is necessary as the first step in the reassessment of power as something other than might, age, privilege, or the lack of fear. It is an important step for a boy, whose societal destruction begins when he is forced to believe that he can only be strong if he doesn't feel, or if he wins.
|
|
parenting
|
Audre Lorde |
64a13fd
|
The only persons who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents.
|
|
family
education
parenting
parents
|
G.K. Chesterton |
81c531c
|
Instruction is good for a child; but example is worth more.
|
|
youth
lead-by-example
raising-children
example
role-models
parenting
teaching
children
|
Alexandre Dumas |
e113642
|
"The recent spate of magazines for "parents" (i.e., mothers) bombard the anxiety-induced mothers of America with reassurances that they can (after a $100,000 raise and a personality transplant) produce bright, motivated, focused, fun-loving, sensitive, cooperative, confident, contented kids just like the clean, obedient ones on the cover. "
|
|
parenting
|
Susan Douglas |
d530cab
|
All those adorable towheaded kids in the promotional film are going to turn thirteen. Once a family member hits puberty, odds are that everybody is not going to have the same ideals. Unless everybody gets together and agrees that the new ideals involve turning the front yard into a skate ramp and officially changing Dad's name to Fuckhead.
|
|
humor
florida
parenting
|
Sarah Vowell |
f2de0e2
|
"If there is a single factor that spells out the difference between the cafeteria fringe headed for greatness and those doomed for low self-worth, even more than a caring teacher or a group of friends, it is supportive, accepting parents who not only love their children unconditionally, but also don't make them feel as if their idiosyncrasies qualify as "conditions" in the first place."
|
|
mentoring
parenting
|
Alexandra Robbins |
006d33d
|
Morality in the general is well enough known by men, but the particular refinements of virtue are unknown by most persons; thus the majority of parents, without knowing it and without intending it, give very bad examples to their children.
|
|
morality
example
parenting
young
|
Anne Robert Jacques Turgot |
7009222
|
How often does a man know, without question, that he has done well? I do not think it happens often in anyone's life, and it becomes even rarer once one has a child.
|
|
parenting
|
Robin Hobb |
51b7a6f
|
". . . Mrs. Lambchop sighed and shook her head. "You're at the office all day, having fun," she said. "You don't realize what I go through with the boys. They're very difficult." Kids are like that," Mr. Lambchop said. "Phases. Be patient, dear."
|
|
kids
parenting
|
Jeff Brown |
5531e18
|
Children who have faith have distinctly different characteristics from those who don't. In fact, one of the main manifestations of a person with strong faith is the ability to give--not just in terms of money or possessions, but also time, love, and encouragement.
|
|
faith
god
raising-children
guidance
parents-quotes
parents-responsibility
encouragement
parenting
|
Stormie Omartian |
a6c163c
|
More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart - more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi - more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton.
|
|
fairy-tales
parenting-children
child-psychology
parenting-101
parenting-advice
parenting-teenagers
parents-advice
parents-and-responsibility
parents-and-teenagers
parents-quotes
parents-responsibility
raising-kids
parenting
fiction-fantasy
parents
parents-and-children
children
parenthood
|
Abhijit Naskar |
1eb51c8
|
New Rule: Don't name your kid after a ballpark. Cubs fans Paul and Teri Fields have named their newborn son Wrigley. Wrigley Fields. A child is supposed to be an independent individual, not a means of touting your own personal hobbies. At least that's what I've always taught my kids, Panama Red and Jacuzzi.
|
|
names
humor
bad-decisions
baseball
chicago
chicago-cubs
naming
sports-fans
parenting
parents
children
sports
|
Bill Maher |
2edcf00
|
Pray that your children will develop a heart that seeks after God.
|
|
prayer
god
life
parenting
power
|
Stormie Omartian |
5e09f18
|
(Taft's mother's) losing her firstborn had convinced her that children are treasures lent not given and that they may be recalled at any time. Parents, she firmly believed, could never love their children too much.
|
|
parenting
|
Doris Kearns Goodwin |
5277083
|
A man who indulges in parenthood for the first time at the age of fifty-four deserves all he gets.
|
|
parenting
|
Raymond Chandler |
8ba950e
|
Too bad for any parent who has become accustomed to ruling by force, because at some point the kids just get too big to slap around.
|
|
parenting
|
Barbara Ehrenreich |
629b15c
|
"You are born into a family and those are your people, and they know you and they love you, and if you are lucky they even on occasion manage to understand you. And that ought to be enough. But it is never enough. Abe had not been dressing up, styling himself, for all these years because he was trying to prove how different he was from everyone else. He did it in the hope of attracting the attention of somebody else--somewhere, someday--who was the same. He was not flying his freak flag; he was sending up a flare, hoping for rescue, for company in the solitude of his passion. "You were with your people. You found them," I said. He nodded. "That's good," I said. "You're early." --
|
|
finding-your-people
tribes
fatherhood
parenting
|
Michael Chabon |
5f20ded
|
You could slap his wrist for saying it, but then he said it with his face, and you could spank him for making faces, but then he said it with his eyes, and there were limits to correction--no way, in the end, to penetrate behind the blue irises and eradicate a boy's disgust.
|
|
parenting
punishment
|
Jonathan Franzen |
08d9a93
|
It wasn't right that you could only understand your parents' pain once you'd experienced the things they had, and by then they were gone.
|
|
pain
life-lessons
wisdom
maturity
growing-up
parenting
knowledge
parenthood
old-age
|
J. Courtney Sullivan |
f5fb273
|
Imagine what it must be like for teenagers who don't feel they have room to breathe in their own homes. If you are a parent reading this book, you care about your child. If she is quirky, unusual, or nonconformist, ask yourself whether you are doing everything you can to nurture her unusual interests, style, or skills, or whether instead you are directly or subtly pushing her to hide them.
|
|
mentoring
parenting
|
Alexandra Robbins |
7dabf10
|
She brought a chair into the room and placed it alongside the top of his bed. Then she held his hand as he drifted off to sleep. It was so small in her own hand, and it felt warm and dry. She pressed his hand gently, and his fingers returned the pressure, but only just, as he was almost asleep by then. She remembered, but not very well, what it was to fall asleep holding the hand of another; how precious such an experience, how fortunate those to whom it was vouchsafed by the gods of Friendship, or of Love. She thought she had forgotten that, but now she remembered.
|
|
friendship
love
parenting
|
Alexander McCall Smith |
6fe8feb
|
There can be no fooling ourselves into thinking this is something other than what it is--the willful ejection of Molly from our nest. It's too late for second thoughts, anyway. She has to be moved into her dorm in time for freshman orientation. It's been marked on the kitchen calendar for weeks--the expiration date on her childhood.
|
|
parenting
|
Susan Wiggs |
75b0c65
|
It was what Aunty Ifeoma did to my cousins, I realized then, setting higher and higher jumps for them in the way she talked to them, in what she expected of them. She did it all the time believing they would scale the rod. And they did. It was different for Jaja and me. We did not scale the rod because we believed we could, we scaled it because we were terrified that we couldn't.
|
|
parenting
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
51c47af
|
If we can keep ourselves from interfering with the natural laws of life, mistakes can be our child's finest teachers.
|
|
nature
learning
life
teacher
parenting
mistakes
|
Randy Alcorn |
1eeddcd
|
"Father to teenage son: "My relationship with you is more important than anything I've got to say to you."
|
|
lecturing
relationship
fatherhood
parenting
|
Randy Alcorn |
b5cdf26
|
One of pleasures of parenting, future reader: parent can positively influence kid, make moment kid will remember for rest of life, moment that alters his/her trajectory, opens up his/her heart + mind.
|
|
joy
parenting
|
George Saunders |
bb07fcf
|
One of the things that happens in the world is that people try to conflict. Whereas in the home, you can't. You'll end up getting divorced or becoming estranged from your kids. Keep in mind, the hardest part of any negotiation is agreeing to start it. Once you've gotten past that emotional barrier, the solutions usually present themselves.
|
|
parenting
|
Bruce Feiler |
7016dc8
|
Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it.
|
|
drinking
conception
parenting
children
|
Caitlin Moran |
14afbfe
|
"When we say fathers are "helping," we are suggesting that child care is a mother's territory, into which fathers valiantly venture. It is not."
|
|
parenting
gender
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
a5e382b
|
I would be the first to admit that my maternal instincts are not well developed--though in defense I must add that the raising of Ramses would have discouraged any woman.
|
|
motherhood
maternalism
parenting-humor
parenting
|
Elizabeth Peters |
e019b41
|
[P]arents need to step back from their own preferences and see what the world looks like to their quiet children.
|
|
parenting
|
Susan Cain |
a9ee191
|
Talk to her about sex, and start early. It will probably be a bit awkward, but it is necessary.
|
|
sex-education
parenting
|
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
a00007b
|
The more a family can be splintered apart, the weaker and more ineffectual they become, and the more the enemy has control of their lives. One way to avoid this is through prayer. When you cover your family relationships in prayer, whether it be with your children, parents, stepparents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, husband, or wife, there will be far fewer instances of strained or severed relationships.
|
|
relationships
prayer
truth
parenting
|
Stormie Omartian |
e10fa1f
|
The passion for such children contains no ego motive of anticipated reciprocity; one is choosing against, in the poet Richard Wilbur's phrase, 'loving things for reasons'. You find beauty and hope in the existence, rather than the achievements, of such a child. Most parenthood entails some struggle to change, educate and improve one's children; people with multiple severe disabilities may not become anything else, and there is a compelling purity in parental engagement not with what might or should or will be, but with, simply, what is.
|
|
parenting
|
Andrew Solomon |
c136cb8
|
Your son is heir to an enormous fortune and name. Someone would be bound to bid for you him and take him as his ward.
|
|
parenting
|
Philippa Gregory |
40db674
|
Drawing from 1.7 million Gallup surveys collected between 2008 and 2012, researchers Angus Deaton and Arthur Stone found that parents with children at home age fifteen or younger experience more highs, as well as more lows, than those without children... And when researchers bother to ask questions of a more existential nature, they find that parents report greater feelings of meaning and reward -- which to many parents is what the entire shebang is about.
|
|
rewarding
parenting
reward
parenthood
|
Jennifer Senior |
af42735
|
How much [vastly {immensely (unfathomably) tremendously}...] Anwar loves [t]his child. It continues to take him by surprise [even when she confounds him with the havoc of her room {for example} which she will proudly describe {defend!} as clean {those beautiful messes (beautiful even today)} even as {in the next moment} she will astonish Anwar with her fearless interest in life {despite the harrowing blows life continues to deliver her (and so delivers to Anwar...)}].
|
|
love
parenting
|
Mark Z. Danielewski |
99a4720
|
You can't predict the outcome. You can't raise a child and then tell them what to think.
|
|
raising-children
parenting
|
Aimee Bender |
1e6e565
|
Until she had had children of her own she had not been able to contemplate the death of either of her parents; when the subject had arisen, in conversation or in her own imagining, she had said only: I just don't know what I'd do.
|
|
family-relationships
growing-up
parenting
|
Sebastian Faulks |
7deda1f
|
"The lessons my parents taught are still with me. I keep a tighter leash when raising my kids than my parents did, but I often find myself doing or saying the same things they did. My mom, for instance, was always cheerful when coming in from work; I try to behave the same way when I finish writing for the day. My dad would listen intently when I came to him with a problem, to help me find a way to solve it on my own; I try to do the same with my own kids. At night, while I'm tucking my kids in bed, I ask them to tell me three nice things that each of their siblings did for them that day, in the hopes that it will help them grow as close as Micah, Dana, and I did. And more frequently than I ever would have imagined possible growing up, I find myself telling my children "It's your life", or "No one ever promised that life would be fair", and "What you want and what you get are usually two entirely different things"."
|
|
parenting
|
Nicholas Sparks |
e3516f0
|
"Oh, go ahead and giggle," Lady Danbury sighed. "I've found that the only way to avoid parental frustration is to view him as a source of amusement."
|
|
parenting
|
Julia Quinn |
e0f64bd
|
Here's a tip for new parents: Start lowering those expectations early, it's going to pay off later.
|
|
parenting
parents
expectations
|
Colson Whitehead |
8532ab2
|
My heart broke not only for the daughter who already was forced to become her mother's alarmingly narrow ideal, but also for the middle daughter who knew that her in mother's mind she had already failed.
|
|
parenting
expectations
|
Alexandra Robbins |
0758002
|
But in her loneliness in the palace she learned to know him, they learned to know each other, and she discovered with great delight that one does not love one's children just because they are one's children but because of the friendship formed while raising them.
|
|
parenting
|
Gabriel García Márquez |
48a5cf9
|
"I think of your grandmother calling me and noting how you were growing tall and would one day try to "test me." And I said to her that I would regard that day, should it come, as the total failure of fatherhood because if all I had over you were my hands, then I really had nothing at all."
|
|
parenting
|
Ta-Nehisi Coates |
944be20
|
"Sometimes Eli believed his mother was embarrassed by him. "I swear, my mom thinks if I do one thing differently than the average person, I'm weird," Eli said later. "It's like she thinks I'm a freak or something. No matter what I do, it's not 'normal' enough for her."
|
|
mentoring
parenting
|
Alexandra Robbins |
47bf231
|
"I myself," said Gibbon, "am slightly underdone in the personal worthlessness line. It was Papa's fault. He used no irony. The communications mix offered by the parent to the child is as you know twelve percent do this, eighty-two percent don't do that, and six percent huggles and endearments. That is standard. Now, to avoid boring himself or herself to death during this monition the parent enlivens the discourse with wit, usually irony of the cheaper sort. The irony ambigufies the message, but more importantly establishes in the child the sense of personal lack-of-worth. Because the child understands that one who is talked to in this way is not much of a something. Ten years of it goes a long way. Fifteen is better. That is where Pap fell down. He eschewed irony."
|
|
parenting
|
Donald Barthelme |
1b1fed6
|
She didn't know how to hate her mother yet, but every time she left her father crying in the airport she came that much closer to figuring it out.
|
|
parenting
|
Ann Patchett |
35b006d
|
Children's as good as 'rithmetic to set you findin' out things.
|
|
motherhood
learning
parenting
knowledge
children
childhood
parenthood
|
Frances Hodgson Burnett |
10a17d8
|
Faktum var att han inte kunde vara den sortens pappa langre. Den tiden var forbi. Det var som om Gud plotsligt skulle bestamma sig for att vara Gud igen flera kvadriljoner ar efter att han skapat varlden. Han kunde inte bara dimpa ner fran himlen och saga: A nej, ni borde inte ha placerat Empire State Building dar, och ni borde inte ha ordnat det sa att de afrikanska folken far mindre pengar, och ni borde inte ha latit dem tillverka karnvapen. For da kunde man saga till Honom: Det ar val lite sent att papeka det nu? Var holl du hus medan vi funderade pa de sakerna?
|
|
parenting
|
Nick Hornby |
02d1321
|
"In my entire life, I never once heard either of my parents say they were stressed. That was just not a phrase I grew up being allowed to say. That, and the concept of "Me time"."
|
|
india
indian-culture
stress
parenting
|
Mindy Kaling |
7132078
|
Story telling or teachable moments, provides us with a vast reference base of real life antidotes for possible future problems. They not only entertain and give us a resource of proven solutions, but they also help shape and mold our character. Therefore, when we don't take our time to communicate with our kids, then we rob them of critical life lessons that we and our forefathers learn the hard way - lessons that they would needlessly have to learn through trial and error themselves.
|
|
life-lessons
family-conversations
life-antidotes
pep-talk
proven-solutions
teachable-moments
talking-with-children
trial-and-error
real-talk
guidance
real-life
warnings
storytelling
parenting
|
Drexel Deal |
b594783
|
You have to talk to your children about things, a lot of our parents don't do that. You have to explain things to children as to why certain things happen. I think that a good way of improving comprehension is to read the newspaper with your child. A lot of times certain sensational things happen and children want to find out why it happened. And sometimes you would hear them talking to each other passing on erroneous information. Daynette Gardiner, the best School Psychologist in The Bahamas
|
|
erroneous-information
helping-children
improving-comprehension
reading-to-children
right-information
sensational-news
talking-with-children
newspaper
talking
parenting
|
Drexel Deal |
5c72f89
|
As parents one of the biggest jobs we have, is teaching our children how to resolve problems effectively. We live in an era where everyone is quick to act the fool over simple issues. As we used to say when I was on the streets, 'everybody wants to cut a movie'.
|
|
letting-go
conflicts
cut-a-movie
peace-maker
resolving-problems
simple-issues
street-violence
walking-away
youth-violence
conflict-resolution
parenting
parents
parenthood
|
Drexel Deal |
c66e742
|
There was the odd suburban thunderbolt, but they were mostly those people who'd found each other; they were golden and bright-lit and funny. Often they seemed in cahoots somehow, like jailbirds who wouldn't leave; they loved us, they us, and that was a pretty good trick.
|
|
parenting
parents
|
Markus Zusak |
374819a
|
We just want you to be happy. Rand and Marybeth said that all the time, but they never explained how.
|
|
parenting
|
Gillian Flynn |
a42503e
|
I like uncovering the cultural prejudices I didn't even know.
|
|
education
heritage
biases
conventional-wisdom
parenting
|
A.J. Jacobs |