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9790e52
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When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another's spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive. Love and abusive cannot coexist. Abuse and neglect are, by definition, the opposites of nurturance and care.
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bell-hooks
feminism
feminist
love
love-quotes
men
nurturance
nurturing
quotes-about-love
spiritual
spiritual-growth
women
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bell hooks |
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ab08922
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When we are loving, we openly and honestly express care, affection, responsibility, respect, commitment, and trust.
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bell-hooks
expression
love
loving
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bell hooks |
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3be08d2
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An overwhelming majority of us come from dysfunctional families in which we were taught we were not okay, where we were shamed, verbally and/or physically abused, and emotionally neglected even as (we) were taught to believe that we were loved.
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all-about-love
bell-hooks
love
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bell hooks |
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01dccdf
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In the Mars-and-Venus-gendered universe, men want power and women want emotional attachment and connection. On this planet nobody really has the opportunity to know love since it is power and not love that is the order of the day. The privilege of power is at the heart of patriarchal thinking. Girls and boys, men and women who have been taught this way almost always believe love is not important, or if it is, it is never as important as being powerful, dominant, in control, on top-being right. Women who give seemingly selfless adoration and care to the men in their lives appear to be obsessed with 'love,' but in actuality their actions are often a covert way to hold power. Like their male counterparts, they enter relationships speaking the words of love even as their actions indicate that maintaining power and control is their primary agenda.
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affection
bell-hooks
control
feminism
feminist
gender
love
love-quotes
manipulation
mars
men-are-from-mars
power
romance
venus
women-are-from-venus
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bell hooks |
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bd1b0b4
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Most men and women born in the fifties or earlier were socialized to believe that marriages and/or committed romantic bonds of any kind should take precedence over all other relationships. Had I been evaluating my relationships from a standpoint that emphasized growth rather than duty and obligation, I would have understood that abuse irreparably undermines bonds. All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm's way.... Women who would no more tolerate a friendship in which they were emotionally and physically abused stay in romantic relationships where these violations occur regularly. Had they brought to these bonds the same standards they bring to friendship they would not accept victimization.
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bell-hooks
feminism
feminist
friendships-and-love
love
love-quotes
respect
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bell hooks |