Site uses cookies to provide basic functionality.

OK
1 ▲ ▼
Link Quote Stars Tags Author
3dce227 Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum plum stephanie-plum napping intent sleeping thinking Janet Evanovich
d8e4d8c I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum exercise humor plum stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
7567503 Lula had Eminem cranked up. He was rapping about trailer park girls and how they go round the outside, and I was wondering what the heck that meant. I'm a white girl from Trenton. I don't know these things. I need a rap cheat sheet. to-the-nines morelli ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
e0af943 When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school. stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
6f63b5e "Ranger was grinning. "Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot." "That would be me."I said. "Babe,"Ranger said, the grin widening." ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
78511ea "My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie" ranger janet-evanovich stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
6002694 "Why do you give me cars?" "It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?" "You love me?" "Yes." A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?" "In a very large way," Ranger said." sizzling-sixteen stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
da25fa7 "Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car." In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled to explain. I didn't feel obliged to do it convincingly. "It was an accident. My foot slipped." "That was no accident. You jumped the goddamn curb and followed me down the sidewalk." stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
63d185b Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing. stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
b2b2a9c "Do you see that man in the black Porsche?" I asked the women. They squinted out at Ranger. "Yes," they said."Your partner." "He's homeless. He's looking for a place to stay and he might be interested in renting Singh's room." Mrs.Apusenja's eyes widened. "We could use the income."She looked at Nonnie and then back at Ranger. "Is he married?" "Nope. He's single. He's a real catch." Connie did something between a gasp and a snort and buried her head back behind the computer. "Thank you for everything." Mrs.Apusenja said. "I suppose you are not such a bad slut. I will go talk to your partner.: "Omigod," Connie said, when the door closed behind the Apusenja's. "Ranger's going to kill you." The Apusenjas stood beside the Porsche, talkig to Ranger for a few long minutes, giving him the big sales pitch. The pitch wound down, Ranger responded, and Mrs. Apusenja looked disappointed. The two women crossed the road and got into the burgundy Escort and quickly drove away. Ranger turned his head in my direction and our eyes met. His expression was still bemused, but this time it was the sort of bemused expression a kid has when he's pulling the wings off a fly. "Uh-Oh,"Connie said. I whipped around and faced Connie. "Quick, give me an FTA. You're backed up, right? For God's sake, give me something fast. I need a reason to stand here until he calms down!" Connie shoved a pile of folders at me. "Pick one. Any one! Oh shit, he's getting out of his car.".... He leaned into me and his lips brushed the shell of my ear. "Feeling playful?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "Watch your back babe. I will get even." -Ranger and Stephanie" funny humor ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
c57911f "[Stephanie] "This won't be so bad," I said to her, making an effort at convincing myself. "How about your blanket? We could wrap him up in the blanket. Then we could pick him up without actually touching him." "I suppose that'd be all right," Lula said. "We could give it a try" I spread the blanket on the ground beside Elliot Harp, took a deep breath, hooked my fingers around his belt and rolled him onto the blanket. I jumped back, squeezed my eyes closed tight and exhaled. No matter how much violent death I saw, I would never get used to it. "I'm gonna definitely have the runs," Lula said. "I can feel it coming on." "Forget about the runs and help me with this body!" Lula grabbed hold of the head end of the blanket, and I grabbed hold of the foot end. Harp had full rigor and wouldn't bend, so we put him in the trunk headfirst with his legs sticking out. We carefully closed the lid on Harp's knees and secured the lid with a piece of rope Lula had in her trunk. "Hold on," Lula said, pulling a red flowered scarf from her coat pocket, tying the scarf on Harp's foot like a flag. "Don't want to get a ticket. I hear the police are real picky about having things sticking out of your trunk." Especially dead guys." stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
1211b90 "Next time I fall in love it's going to be with someone who isn't an expert in fibbing." "You're in love with me?" "You didn't know that?" "I did, but it's nice to hear." "Scares the hell out of me." stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
29f414c "I don't believe this," Morelli yelled. "I don't fucking believe this. What do you do, sit in bed at night and think about ways to fuck up my life?" stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
4ee82e2 "You've been busy using your breaking and entering skills," I said. "I just enter. I don't usually break." "You broke down Pitch's door." "Lost my temper." -Ranger and Stephanie" ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
1c1325d "...I blink back the threat of tears, swiped at my nose and narrowed my eyes. "Listen to me, you two bags of monkey shit, "I yelled. "I am not in a good mood. My car keeps stalling. The day before yesterday I threw up on Joe Morelli. I was called a fat cow by my ex-husband. And if that isn't enough...my hair is ORANGE! ORANGE, FOR CHRISSAKE! And now you have the gall to force yourself into my home and threaten my hamster. Well, you have gone too far. You have crossed the line!" stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
cba0a45 "Your on your on with this one babe." "Coward." "Calling me names isn't going to get me in there." -Ranger and Stephanie" ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
26111b7 "My sex life is okay." "Yeah," Morelli said. "But sometimes it's fun to have a partner." joe-morelli stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
2bb526d In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment. stephanie-plum mystery Janet Evanovich
fa723a8 "Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?" humor granmda-mazur stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
be4138e "My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate. "There," she said, "we'll give him this drumstick." "Deal." stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
3a2588e "Stephanie: "I have a list of Kenny's friends. I'm going to run through it." Morelli: "Where'd you get this list?" Stephanie: "Privileged information." Morelli: "You broke into his apartment and stole his little black book." Stephanie: "I didn't steal it. I copied it." Morelli: "I don't want to here any of this. You're not carrying concealed, are you?" Stephanie: "Who, me?" Morelli: "Shit, I must be crazy to work with you" -- stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
9eb8592 "It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum" stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
d6e757c "You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?" ~ Morelli" morelli joe-morelli stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
a2430ec "Bob had a dog buscuit stuck to his head. "How does he always get food stuck to him?" I asked Morelli. "I don't know," Morelli said. "It's a Bob mystery. I think stuff falls out of his mouth and he rolls in it. I'm not sure." -Morelli And Stephanie" humor morelli stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
cb19c5e I was completely out of clean clothes. That meant I could be a slut and sleep naked , or I could be a slob and sleep in what I was wearing. Truth is, I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping naked. I do it from time to time, but I worry that God might be watching or that my mother might find out, and I'm pretty sure they both think nice girls should wear pyjamas to bed. stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
02a4a12 "You sure you don't want to go?" Grandma Mazur asked my mother. "I didn't know Moogey Bues," my mother told her. "I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger." "I wouldn't go either," Grandma Mazur said, "but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." "She's your responsibility," my mother said to me. "She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable." humor grandma-mazur sticking-fingers-in-eyes stephanie-s-mom stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
cd4bb64 I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here? stephanie-plum mystery Janet Evanovich
c1c4ac3 "I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window. stephanie-plum janet evanovich
3793002 I kicked my shoes off, shuffled out of the black jeans and carted an armload of food into my bedroom. I switched the television on and crawled into bed with the channel changer. Do I know how to have a good time, or what? stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
0d94612 It wouldn't kill you to flirt a little, so I don't remember this assignment as totally sucking. I'm babysitting a guy who thinks he's a leprechaun, and I'm rescuing a has-been horse. The least you could do I grab my ass once in a while. stephanie-plum flirting Janet Evanovich
5f6220d "You can relax. I am not here to collect on the deal" I blinked. "You are not? Then why did you drop your gun belt?" "I am tired. I wanted to sit and the belt is uncomfortable." "Oh." He smiled. "Disappointed?" "No." Liar, liar, pants on fire." hard-eight ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
683e934 "Remember, so swashing anyone into the trunk of your car!" "Sure," Lula said, "I know that" lula stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
d6d853c It's not a nice thing to send a penis to a woman. It's disrespectful. woman humor dismemberment disrespectful genitalia janet-evanovich stephanie-plum penis nice Janet Evanovich
7910f83 Ranger was definitely wow. He stood half a head taller than me. He was perfectly toned muscle, and he had classic Latino good looks. He always smelled great. He dressed only in black. His eyes were dark. His hair was dark. His life was dark. Ranger had lots of secrets. twelve-sharp ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
6d1bacf The rain started a few minutes later, a fine mist at first, growing more steady as the miles flew by. The Mercedes hummed along, following the ribbon of road. The night enveloped us, the darkness broken only by the lights on the dash. All the comforts of a womb with the technology of a jet airplane cockpit ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
1316454 Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning. stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
f21a7e9 As much as I disliked Eddie Kuntz, I could sort of identify with a man who got a stiffie over banana cream pie. humor stiffy janet-evanovich stephanie-plum pie erection identify Janet Evanovich
c9e316f "One minute I was having a day like any other , and then Whack an this guy didn't have no head" Lula Finger Lickin 15" luka janet-evanovich stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
91292f6 Ten minutes passed before his (Ranger's) Mercedes appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish. ranger stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
906d612 Honey, Half the women in NJ have sold him their cannolli -Conie to Stephanie about Joe Morelli (One for the money) stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
87bd3b9 "I went to the beauty salon today and got spruced up," Grandma said. "Ever since Mildred Frick called me a slut my phone hasn't stopped ringing. I got two dates for the weekend." "It might not be such a good thing to have men calling you because they think you're a slut," I said. "They're only going to be after one thing." "I hope that's true. I don't want to find out I went blond and bought all them thongs for nothing." stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
3240ed7 "What time is it?" Lula asked. "I might need a doughnut. Is it doughnut time?" "I'm thinking about eating healthier," I said. "More vegetables and fewer doughnuts." "What's that about?" "I don't know. It just came over me." "It's a bad idea. What do I look like, Mr. Green Jeans? How would it sound if I said it's vegetable time? People would think I was a nut. Nobody gets a craving for a vegetable. And I'm the one on the diet. What am I gonna do with one carrot or one asparagus? They are not mood enhancers, if you see what I'm saying." "I see what you're saying, but there aren't any doughnuts between here and Ernie's house." "I guess I could wait. And maybe you're right about the healthy eating. I'm gonna get a carrot cake doughnut." janet-evanovich lula-stephine-plum sizzling-sixteen stephanie-plum Janet Evanovich
1 ▲ ▼