|
1c4d882
|
Ne exprimam iubirea, deoarece satisfactia adusa de iubire este enorma, si continuam sa ne exprimam iubirea si sa actionam protector, deoarece pierderea iubirii e traumatizanta. Daca n-am simti durere la pierderea fiintei iubite, daca am avea placerea iubirii, dar n-am simti nimic cand obiectul iubirii noastre e ruina, am fi considerabil mai putin protectori decat suntem.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
6ae5c7d
|
Some parents manufacture an affirmative construction of their child's disability to disguise their despair, while others have a deep and genuine experience of joy in caring for disabled children, and that sometimes the first stance can generate the second.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
63ca0b0
|
The sprinter unwisely indulges his arrogance against the marathon runner, and likewise, parents who encourage their children's narcissism do them no favours. It is best to accomplish something before becoming famous, because if the fame comes first, it often precludes accomplishment..."You don't build a career by playing Carnegie Hall. You build a career and then Carnegie Hall will invite you to play"."
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
f27ea64
|
Woody Allen once quipped that dwarf is once of the four funniest words in the English language. To be in your very essence perceived as comical is a significant burden.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
fd68e88
|
Cleaving to our own lives, with all their challenges and limitations and particularities, is vital.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
189740c
|
We learn so much from our children--in patience, in humility, in gratitude for other blessings we had accepted before as a matter of course; so much in tolerance; so much in faith--believing and trusting where we cannot see; so much in compassion for our fellow man; and yes, even so much in wisdom about the eternal values in life.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
464b79f
|
The LP actress Linda Hunt once wrote, 'Dwarfism, after all, isn't like cancer or heart disease. It isn't fatal, and it isn't even an illness. It is physical, though, and inescapable. You don't get over it. It is you. But you aren't it, and that's an important distinction.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
ff273fb
|
must love them for themselves,
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
c97628c
|
When the child does not conform to this image, the parents often need help in adapting their behavior to the reality--they
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
dbcdc35
|
The social perception of whether any supposed deficit is the parents' fault is always a critical factor in the experience of both children and parents. The attribution of responsibility to parents is often a function of ignorance, but it also reflects our anxious belief that we control our own destinies.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
0d2b351
|
There is no question that modern life carries burdens incompatible with the brains we have evolved. Depression may, then, well be a consequence of our doing what we did not evolve to do.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
45a541a
|
The difficulty of learning spoken English for a person profoundly deaf from an early age has been likened to a hearing American trying to learn spoken Japanese while locked within a soundproof glass cubicle.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
c245f1b
|
A patient may say that he has spent certain months suffering major depression, but this is a way of imposing measurement on the immeasurable. All that one can really say for certain is that one has known major depression, and that one does or does not happen to be experiencing it at any given present moment.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
4bc10ba
|
Cerebral palsy is any disability caused by damage to the cerebrum before birth, just afterward, or in the first three years of life.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
0108196
|
Too often, treatments address only half the problem: they focus on the presence or on the absence. It is necessary both to cut away that extra thousand pounds of the vines and to relearn a root system and the techniques of photosynthesis. Drug therapy hacks through the vines. You can feel it happening, how the medication seems to be poisoning the parasite so that bit by bit it withers away. You feel the weight going, feel the way that the b..
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
b9bfafa
|
I told my mother that she was not going anywhere and that I would remember her for a good long time because she was going to go on reminding me of herself.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
3001686
|
Returning from distress by gradual degrees gives sense to affliction itself.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
cf31c42
|
Those, disabled people, however, may be angered by the prospect of interventions that would make them function more like non-disabled people without mitigating the hard reality of their disabling condition. Some may even curse the contraptions that keep them going.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
91f9d3e
|
We applaud the great strides made through genetic identification research, however, we do not condone the use of such information for eugenics and related purposes"..."The question of what lives are worth living is now answered in doctors' offices instead of in Nazis' T-4 programme. The forces of normalisation seem to be gaining ground."
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
0399c81
|
In the 1990s, Miraca Gross studied children who were radically accelerated, starting college between eleven and sixteen. None regretted the acceleration, and most had made good and lasting friendships with older children. By contrast, gifted children stuck with age peers experienced rage, depression, and self-criticism. Today, most gifted programs keep children in an age-based setting some of the time and a skills-based setting the rest of ..
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
d6b7c01
|
Bezradostno chuvstvovat' v sebe porchu: oshchushchat', kak v tebe chut' li ne kazhdyi den' obrazuiutsia novye vmiatiny; znat', chto prevrashchaesh'sia v nechto khiloe, bessil'noe; ponimat', chto znachitel'nuiu chast' tebia uneset pervym zhe sil'nym poryvom vetra. Odni nakaplivaiut bol'she emotsional'noi "rzhavchiny", drugie men'she. Depressiia nachinaetsia s oshchushcheniia presnosti; ona otnimaet silu u povsednevnykh postupkov, poka ikh ia..
|
|
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
4f8f3d8
|
Chuvstvo odinochestva vyzyvaet depressiiu, no i depressiia sozdaet chuvstvo odinochestva. Esli ne mozhesh' ispravno funktsionirovat', v tvoei zhizni nastupaet besporiadok, kakoi ty v nei i predpolagal; esli ne mozhesh' govorit' i ne imeesh' seksual'nykh zhelanii, tvoia lichnaia i sotsial'naia zhizn' rushitsia, a eto samo po sebe vyzyvaet depressiiu.
|
|
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
5e7df12
|
Osoznanie sobstvennoi slabosti meshaet raskryvat' v obshchenii vsiu glubinu svoei individual'nosti - v rezul'tate bol'shinstvo tekh, s kem ia podruzhilas' za poslednie vosem'-desiat' let, stali shapochnymi znakomymi. Ot etogo rastet chuvstvo odinochestva, i voobshche chuvstvuesh' sebia glupo.
|
|
депрессия
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
9836b02
|
Let me bury here the rage I feel to have been twice robbed: once of the child I wanted, and once of the son I loved.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
30f44b4
|
Mne ochen' trudno pomnit' khoroshee, kogda ia v depressii. Ia bez kontsa prokruchivaiu v pamiati vse plokhoe, chto mne delali - ia zlopamiatna, kak slon, - i kak ia perezhivala obidu, i styd, i nelovkost', i vse eto nakruchivaetsia i stanovitsia khuzhe, chem bylo na samom dele, eto tochno.
|
|
депрессия
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
9d0d451
|
Esli ia reshu pokonchit' s soboi, psikhologicheski mne ne nado budet daleko khodit', potomu chto umom i serdtsem ia bolee gotov k etomu, chem k nezaplanirovannym povsednevnym perturbatsiiam, otmechaiushchim soboiu kazhdoe utro i kazhdyi polden'.
|
|
suicide
депрессия
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
4bbc686
|
Nichto ne uzhasaet menia sil'nee, chem mysl' o tom, chto kogda-nibud' ia utrachu sposobnost' sebia ubit'.
|
|
suicide
депрессия
psychology
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
c257c48
|
At least half of the children available for adoption in the United States have disabilities of some kind.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
71808a2
|
People with disabilities make up the largest minority in America; they constitute 15 percent of the population though only 15 percent of those were born with their disability and about a third are over sixty-five...
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
84e5225
|
present tense of mild depression envisages no alleviation because it feels like knowledge.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
c2c56fb
|
Sometimes, the hallucinations are visual and olfactory was well and make the world full of actual threats into a writhing hell of inescapable terrorization. Though many schizophrenics become curiously attached to their delusions, the fading of the nondelusional world puts them in lonelineness beyond all reckoning... between 5 and 13 percent of people with schizophrenia commit suicide.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
9016b57
|
In the United States, 150,000 people with schizophrenia are homeless; one in five people with schizophrenia is homeless in any given year.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
f9c534d
|
At least three times as many mentally ill people are in jail as are in hospitals.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
7411e08
|
I was fascinated to hear of the suicide of an octopus, trained for the circus, that had been accustomed to do tricks for rewards of food. When the circus disbanded, the octopus was kept in a tank and no one paid any attention to his tricks. He gradually lost his color (octopuses' states of mind are expressed in their shifting hues) and finally went through his tricks a last time, failed to be rewarded, and used his beak to stab himself so b..
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
ab58ea3
|
About half of patients with pure anxiety disorders develop major depression within five years. Insofar as depression and anxiety are genetically determined, they share a single set of genes (which are tied to the genes for alcoholism). Depression exacerbated by anxiety has a much higher suicide rate than depression alone, and it is much harder to recover from. "If you're having several panic attacks every day," says Ballenger, "it's gonna b..
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
0bec8e9
|
With the wonder and bitterness of someone pardoned for a crime she did not commit I come back to marriage and friends, to pink fringed hollyhocks; come back to my desk, books, and chair.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
f277d72
|
All people are both the objects and the perpetrators of prejudice. Our understanding of the prejudice directed against us informs our response to others.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
9289bf0
|
the fibrous tongue is actually the strongest muscle per inch in the body; if it were the size of a biceps, you could pick up a car with it.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
96986ff
|
So the question is whether people prefer to be marginal in a mainstream world, or mainstream in a marginal world, and many people quite understandably prefer the latter.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
92d2815
|
The cochlear implant is really a holding mechanism for a larger debate about assimilation versus alienation, about the extent to which standardizing human populations is a laudable mark of progress and the extent to which it is a poorly white-washed eugenics.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
d2567af
|
It seemed to take the most colossal effort to do simple things. I remember bursting into tears because I had used up the cake of soap that was in the shower. I cried because one of the keys stuck for a second on my computer. I found everything excruciatingly difficult, and so, for example, the prospect of lifting the telephone receiver seemed to me like bench-pressing four hundred pounds. The reality that I had to put on not just one but tw..
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
81ef481
|
I love the sense of vast transformation that hangs on us at this new millennium, the feeling that we are at the brink of knowing more than people have ever known before.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
c6b2d2a
|
We must look for faith (in anything: God or the self or other people or politics or beauty or just about anything else) and structure. We must help the disenfranchised whose suffering undermines so much of the world's joy--for the sake both of those huddled masses and of the privileged people who lack profound motivation in their own lives. We must practice the business of love, and we must teach it too.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |
|
d30ff78
|
It is mad for adolescents to rage at parents who have done their best, but it is a conventional madness, uniform enough so that we tolerate it relatively unquestioningly.
|
|
|
Andrew Solomon |