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Reality continues to ruin my life.
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humor
life
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Bill Watterson |
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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
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life-humor
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Bill Watterson |
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You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
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Bill Watterson |
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I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.
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Bill Watterson |
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Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?
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war
soldiers
fighting
peace
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Bill Watterson |
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As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
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Bill Watterson |
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I'm a misunderstood genius.
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misunderstood
genius
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Bill Watterson |
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That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
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happiness
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Bill Watterson |
4dab57e
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CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?
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Bill Watterson |
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Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
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inspirational
recreation
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Bill Watterson |
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I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
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Bill Watterson |
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CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?
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religion
life
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Bill Watterson |
073c016
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Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report? Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes." Calv..
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Bill Watterson |
aff193d
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I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
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humor
hobbes
hiccup
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Bill Watterson |
5c334b2
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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humor
intelligence
hobbes
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Bill Watterson |
a6d2dad
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You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.
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bill-watterson
calvin-and-hobbes
hugs
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Bill Watterson |
2998dc7
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Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.
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rain
reading
comfort
tea
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Bill Watterson |
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You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.
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school
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Bill Watterson |
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Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.
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guilt
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Bill Watterson |
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I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.
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Bill Watterson |
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Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new! A new year ... a fresh, clean start! It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy ... let's go exploring!
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Bill Watterson |
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Calvin: Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.
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Bill Watterson |
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Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must've hit a window. Calvin: Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's ..
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Bill Watterson |
a15b09e
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I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
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Bill Watterson |
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I've been thinking Hobbes
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Bill Watterson |
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Bill Watterson |
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I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.
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Bill Watterson |
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The world isn't fair, Calvin." "I know Dad, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?"
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humor
comics
fairness
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Bill Watterson |
3b130bc
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I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
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Bill Watterson |
56b88ab
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Now what state do you live in?' 'Denial.
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humor
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Bill Watterson |
f9d8d40
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Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
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Bill Watterson |
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From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.
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Bill Watterson |
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I'd hate to have a kid like me.
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Bill Watterson |
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To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
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meaning
life
wisdom
inspirational
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Bill Watterson |
81be37a
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Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
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humor
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Bill Watterson |
af13cf2
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If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
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life
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Bill Watterson |
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Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
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Bill Watterson |
82769d1
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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh! What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn't want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you'd cheat! I knew you'd win! Oh! Oh! Aarg! [Calvin runs in circles around Hob..
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humor
calvin
hobbes
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Bill Watterson |
cc5d257
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Girls are like slugs--they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
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Bill Watterson |
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A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.
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calvin
calvin-and-hobbes
procrastination
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Bill Watterson |
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Every time I've built character, I've regretted it.
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Bill Watterson |
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I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
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Bill Watterson |
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I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
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Bill Watterson |
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Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
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Bill Watterson |