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1946006 BE CAREFUL, OR BE ROADKILL! humor safety Bill Watterson
5401b15 This tiger is sprawled So still and so flat, A question arises When glancing thereat. Is he asleep? to be Perfectly frank, He looks more as if He was creamed by a tank! poetry napping naps tiger Bill Watterson
8f856a6 Calvin: I'm being educated against my will! My rights are being trampled! Hobbes: Is it a right to remain ignorant? Calvin: I don't know, but I refuse to find out! Bill Watterson
f70499d S...For Stupendous! T...For Tiger, ferocity of! U...For Underwear, Red! P...For Power, Incredible! E...For excellent physique! N...For...Um...Something..Hm, well, I'll come back to that... D...For Determination! U...For...Wait, How do you spell this? Is it "I"??" super-heroes Bill Watterson
858a6cd Mom says death is as natural as birth, and it's all part of the life cycle. She says we don't really understand it, but there are many things we don't understand, and we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have. I guess that makes sense. Bill Watterson
94d7dd8 This is where dad burried the little raccoon. I don't even know he existed a few days ago and now he's gone forever. It's like I found him for no reason. I had to say good-bye as soon as I said hello. Still...in a sad, awful, terrible way, I'm happy I met him. What a stupid world. Bill Watterson
9aa7353 CALVIN: Hey, I got some mail! It's a Valentine card. HOBBES: From Susie Derkins! CALVIN: It says "Please be my Valentine." HOBBES: You're Susie's Valentine! CALVIN: I'm not her Valentine just because I got this in the mail, am I? Does the Post Master General know about this? HOBBES: Calvin and Susie, sitting in a tree-ee! Kay-eye-ess-ess-eye-en-gee! CALVIN: I don't have the KISS her, do I?! Is that what Valentines do??! Oh, gross! HOBBES:.. calvin-and-hobbes-bill-watterson envelope hobbes smooch susie-derkins valentine mail Bill Watterson
876db66 Calvin: Today at school, I tried to decide whether to cheat on my test or not. I wondered, is it better to do the right thing and fail ... or is it better to do the wrong thing and succeed? On the one hand, undeserved success gives no satisfaction ... but on the other hand, well-deserved failure gives no satisfaction either. Of course, most everybody cheats some time or other. People always bend the rules if they think they can get away wit.. Bill Watterson
dc63d71 When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win! Conversations aren't contests! Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead. thoughts humour speaking thinking ideas Bill Watterson
236f73c Oh lovely snowball, packed with care, smack a head that's unaware! Then with freezing ice to spare, melt and soak through underwear! Fly straight and true, hit hard and square! This, oh snowball, is my prayer. I only throw consecrated snowballs. Bill Watterson
3e1665e Wake up, get up... Shut up. Listen up... Throw up...Mix up, Goof up... Hurry up... Bill Watterson
363ca9e Susie: Hi Calvin! Aren't you excited about going to school? Look at all these great school supplies I got! I love having new notebooks and stuff! Calvin:All I've got to say is they're not making me learn any foreign languages. If English is good enough for me, then by golly, it's good enough for the rest of the world! Everyone should just speak English or shut up, that's what I say! Susie: You should maybe check the chemical content of your.. humor school Bill Watterson
c1c2757 Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I wonder which one YOU are. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles! thoughts realist pragmatist whimsical spontaneity thinking principles Bill Watterson
af26f40 Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! happiness Bill Watterson
e025991 Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding. understanding language Bill Watterson
47b63f6 I'm leaking brain lubricant. Bill Watterson
659cf33 Quick! To the Bat-Fax! humor Bill Watterson
f791037 Hobbes: "Whatcha doin'?" Calvin: "Getting rich!" Hobbes: "Really?" Calvin: "Yep. I'm writing a self-help book! There's a huge market for this stuff." Calvin: "First you convince people there's something wrong with them. That's easy because advertising has already conditioned people to feel insecure about their weight, looks, social status, sex appeal, and so on." Calvin: "Next, you convince them that the problem is not their fault and that .. Bill Watterson
0b2124b Calvin: If you could wish for anything, what would it be? Hobbes: A big sunny field to be in. Calvin: A STUPID FIELD?! You've got that now! Think BIG! Riches! Power! Pretend you could have ANYTHING! ... Calvin: Actually, its hard to argue with someone who looks so happy. Hobbes: Z Bill Watterson
49189a5 Today for show & tell, I've brought in some flash cards I made. Each card has a letter followed by several dashes. When I show the card, you yell out the vulgar, obscene or blasphemous word they stand for! ...Ready? ...She's such a hypocrite about building vocabulary. Bill Watterson
66f8bb5 How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food and beer conglomerates. Who'd have ever guessed product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously. It's a beautiful world, all right. Bill Watterson
1c17e3e Cigars are all the rage, dad. You should smoke cigars!" - Calvin "Flatulence could be all the rage, but it would still be disgusting." - Calvin's mom" rage cigars disgusting flatulence trendy smoke cool poor health Bill Watterson
3b2ccb1 Dad says that the anticipation of having something is often more fun than actually having it - Calvin Bill Watterson
0e8097a Their textbooks would show me in grim illustration, The most hideous thing even seen in creation! Bill Watterson
04cb247 When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day. Bill Watterson
fcb7382 Day says the anticipation of having something is often more fun than actually having it.- Calvin Bill Watterson
cc9d2ba Hobbes: UGH! something under the bed is drooling. Calvin: Start tying the sheets. We'll go out the window. humour Bill Watterson
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