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Link Quote Stars Tags Author
d40aeb9 Verbing weirds language. Bill Watterson
c18eddb You know what's the rage this year? ...Hats. hobbes Bill Watterson
8588e92 They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. life life-philosophy Bill Watterson
2d1c343 My likely historical significance is a terrible burden. ~ Calvin Bill Watterson
6f1816c If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again. work Bill Watterson
1a222ce Virtual reality has nothing on Calvin. Bill Watterson
9578665 Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves. Bill Watterson
0a3a140 Calvin: As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations. truth-of-life Bill Watterson
a0075f5 Calvin: I'm a genius. I can't believe how smart I am. ...I've got more brains than I know what to do with. Hobbes: So I've noticed. Bill Watterson
ed446ab I hope some historian will confirm that I was the first cartoonist to use the word 'booger' in a newspaper comic strip. calvin-and-hobbes Bill Watterson
bf9fa7d Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy...and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid lima beans. Bill Watterson
63e9674 Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!" Bill Watterson
fa376b8 Sleepwalking?" "Nightmare?" "Homicidal psycho jungle cat!" Bill Watterson
53c65c2 The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink COW milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'? Bill Watterson
d9a11a0 I should be doing my homework now. But the way I look at it, playing in the snow is a lot more important. Out here I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life. - Such as? - Procrastination and rationalization. Bill Watterson
a693911 Some days you get up and you already know that things aren't going to go well. They're the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate and read comic books in bed with the covers up until the world looks more encouraging. Of course, they never let you do that. rain hot-chocolate snuggle read snow Bill Watterson
d203170 Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being "cool." Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be "cool." Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?" genuineness hip image Bill Watterson
c3f6b0f The only permanent rule in Calvinball is that you can never play it the same way twice! (Calvin) Bill Watterson
830e10c MOMMMM, I'm thirsty... What's this, just water? Bill Watterson
bf3bf95 Like delicate lace, So the threads intertwine, Oh, gossamer web Of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace Wild nature produces... Ughh, look at the spider Suck out that bug's juices! poetry spiders spiderweb Bill Watterson
04b3085 You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take." friends friendship humor enemies-and-friends Bill Watterson
3e1aaa3 Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it. Bill Watterson
0ea4175 It's a funny world, Hobbes." "True." "But it's not a hilarious world....unless you like sick humour." "The world is probably funnier to people who don't live here." Bill Watterson
6818978 I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness. friendship love animals Bill Watterson
1f8da6a On gray days, when it's snowing or raining, I think you should be able to call up a judge and take an oath that you'll just read a good book all day, and he'd allow you to stay home. rain books snuggle judge read home oath snow Bill Watterson
7b914bb We don't value craftsmanship anymore! All we value is ruthless efficiency, and I say we deny our own humanity that way! Without appreciation for grace and beauty, there's no pleasure in creating things and no pleasure in having them! Our lives are made drearier, rather than richer! How can a person take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries! We're not machines! We have a human need for craftsmanship! creating human beauty care handmade quantity craftsmanship efficiency grace art skill quality value machines pleasure Bill Watterson
3994d94 Barney's Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said "Eat your peas." Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney's Mom never found out where he'd gone, Cause Barney didn't tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he'd been cruel" calvin-and-hobbes Bill Watterson
28ef6de The score is still Q to 12! Bill Watterson
03f7f74 Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other... Bill Watterson
aab15dc Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this? Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan. Bill Watterson
e2f2ed2 I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin funny song calvin calvin-and-hobbes Bill Watterson
285e3a9 No sport is less organized than Calvinball. Bill Watterson
6c49789 You are demoted from First Tiger to bulk rate. Bill Watterson
0a63e84 Idiocy is the essence of the male mind. Bill Watterson
9f85b63 The best presents don't come in boxes. Bill Watterson
6b7a437 Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to. Calvin: Oh. humor santa Bill Watterson
04a8573 Things I will never like: 1. Drying off with a cold, damp towel. 2. The feeling of seaweed wrapping around my legs. 3. Anything that was popular in the 70's. 4. Licorice, yam, or raisins. 5. That high-pitched screech that babies make. 6. Writhing maggots. Bill Watterson
2af0bf2 Watcha doin'?" "Looking for frogs." Bill Watterson
e6120c9 Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a reflection of that independence. So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection? individuality independence conformity peer-pressure Bill Watterson
9cfad39 Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? Bill Watterson
05280e0 My book is called, "Shut Up And Stop Whining: How To Do Something With Your Life Besides Think About Yourself." Bill Watterson
e8c018e Don't look into car headlights and freeze, because you'll either get run over or shot! humor Bill Watterson
69f44e9 There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late. humor comic Bill Watterson
bc27034 Calvin: "I read this library book you got me." Calvin's Mom: "What did you think of it?" Calvin: "It really made me see things differently. It's given me a lot to think about." hobbes Bill Watterson
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