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81a80e1
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The fact is, it just wasn't meant to be. Crazy rich lady who wants to blow up the world, crazy demon asshole who wants to invade hell...I know, you had high hopes, but this relationship just wasn't going to work out." "I am going," Sullivan seethed, "to kill you." "Not if I get to him first," Meadow said."
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Craig Schaefer |
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99b4979
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We believe in keeping up with the times," she said. "It's not all backward Latin and slaughtered goats."
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Craig Schaefer |
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8c3963f
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Oh," she said, putting her hand to her mouth in mock surprise. "Do you mean you weren't just feeling slightly airsick, and a bottle of ginger ale wouldn't help your stomach feel better?" "I suppose," I said, unscrewing the cap, "you may kinda sorta have a point." "Besides, you get the most adorably consternated look on your face."
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Craig Schaefer |
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454344f
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we heard the clinking of glasses and faint, conversational laughter. A human torso, crudely butchered, lay across a glass table with its innards still wet and glistening. Lauren sat beside it, dressed in her Sunday best and sipping tea from a delicate porcelain cup. A man in a dapper black suit sat across from her. His face was a featureless black void, a smudge of frozen smoke. "Eugene!" Lauren said. "You're just in time for high tea." "Ab..
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Craig Schaefer |
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858ca55
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A woman dressed for tennis and clutching a digital camera did a double take, looking at the suited thugs and then at me as if wondering if she'd seen me on television. No, no, they're not my bodyguards, I felt like saying. They're just here to break my kneecaps if I run. Or maybe break them anyway. We'll see how the day goes.
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Craig Schaefer |
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f4ddebf
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Just very, very bright. So bright that there isn't a single shadow in the shot." Dell looked back toward the steel shelves. "Uh, you know that'll like, wash out everything, right? I mean that's not really how it's done--" "Listen to me." I moved closer, leaning against the counter. "Our needs are very specific. We want to kill shadows. Got it?" "Kill shadows," he repeated, blinking. "Okay. Hey, sure, you're the customer, whatever. Let me gu..
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Craig Schaefer |
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d47ed99
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Why are you whispering?" "I'm on the roof of an evil flower shop, and I don't want to get shot." "That sort of answer," he said, "really shouldn't surprise me anymore."
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Craig Schaefer |
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b6b0a3d
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That kind? How many kinds of zombies are there?" "There's the kind that eat people, the kind that don't eat people..." Margaux's voice trailed off as she thought it over. "Two. Two kinds. Plenty of variations, but when you're looking at a dead man walkin' your way, that's the one question you need answered fast." "And don't shoot for the head, that just pisses 'em off," Corman said,"
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Craig Schaefer |
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7705e38
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There a point behind that history lesson?" I asked. "Only to establish a certain level of, shall we call it, prior claim?" "I'm not positive," I said, "but I think after sixty or seventy years it becomes more of a finders, keepers sort of situation." Angelo slapped his knee. "Now, you see? That's almost exactly what Nicky Agnelli said"
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Craig Schaefer |
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1fe5942
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Most modern cell phones have a built-in GPS chip, even if you don't have any kind of GPS software. Allegedly to make it easier for emergency services to find you when you dial 911." "Allegedly?" Caitlin asked. "It also makes it easier for our burgeoning police state to keep tabs on innocent citizens," Pixie said. "Have I told you what the NSA does with voicemail--" I cleared my throat."
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Craig Schaefer |
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af0bb79
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Hey," I said, panting, "next time you find out that a major crime syndicate wants to take over Vegas, maybe let me know before I go to the city where they live? Send me a letter, maybe? Send up some smoke signals?" "Wait, what?" Nicky said. "The Outfit came after you in Texas?" "In Chicago, Nicky. Where the job is. The job you set me up for."
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Craig Schaefer |
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99fa0a8
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Does it still look like Jules Verne built a brothel?" I nodded. "I think they call that steampunk now, but yeah. It's also got free-roaming man-eating shadows for a security system. And does anyone know who owns the place? The locals just call it 'Management."
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Craig Schaefer |
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c2961e5
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I ended up back at the airport before dawn, drinking black coffee from a recycled paper cup and listening to the come-play-me chimes from a bank of slot machines in the concourse. Vegas's farewell to the tourist traffic, suctioning out the last of their pocket change before kicking them back home. Every minute I spent here was a minute lost forever. I blew on my coffee and tried not to pace.
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Craig Schaefer |
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5c5a7bc
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lights dangled from the warehouse scaffolding, their power lines running to a portable generator that chugged and coughed like a heavy smoker running a marathon.
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Craig Schaefer |
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2a1ca28
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If I was bound for hell, I'd drag her down with me.
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Craig Schaefer |
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018e1c7
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I hit the arrow key one last time and froze. I'd captured it, all right. It nearly filled the frame, so big it would have to squeeze through the loft's doors to move around. Or squirm through. I couldn't take it all in at first. My eyes darted around, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. There were broken arms and opposite-facing legs, a bloated torso lined with sewn-on hands that grasped and pinched. And there were heads. I counted f..
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Craig Schaefer |
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89f329e
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My goal, on the other hand, was to convince you to meet me somewhere remote. Somewhere I could finish you off without fear of interruption. So I prepared a--" "I know," I said. "The book's a fake, and you let me steal it." He blinked."
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Craig Schaefer |
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bfa9b05
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I could see the sorrow in her eyes as she gently brushed his hair aside and kissed his brow. Then she snapped his neck. Ben's corpse tumbled to the floor. Emma sank to her knees beside him, mute. She brushed her fingertips along his lifeless arm. If this was an action movie, that would have been her cue to say something badass. But this wasn't a movie. It was just a stupid dead man and a grieving widow and a gulf of pain I couldn't imagine.
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Craig Schaefer |
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524c941
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A sharp crunching sound echoed across the cramped office. Pinfeather's eyes went wide, his body rigid as a steel pole. He looked down. Caitlin's hand was buried in his chest up to the wrist. A rivulet of blood guttered from his mouth as he tried to speak. Caitlin put her lips to his ear as her fingers curled around his pounding heart. "Like you said, this is Vegas," Caitlin whispered. "And in Vegas, the house always wins." She yanked her ha..
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Craig Schaefer |
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3f966fd
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And for the record, yes, a Taurus Judge probably WILL blow a demon's face off at close range.
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Craig Schaefer |
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e426da8
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I looked around, my heart pounding faster, trying to spot it before it could get the jump on me. The creature was near, but the noise sounded like it was coming from everywhere at once. No, I realized, not everywhere. It's just very, very close. I looked up. Nine arms clung to the ceiling above my head by their twisted, blackened fingernails. Five heads looked down at me and screamed as one. 15. I felt the creature's scream more than I hear..
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Craig Schaefer |
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2ef47d6
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I promised Coop two things before he died," I said. "One, I'd get his cut of the score to his wife. Two, I'd send Stanwyck to hell where he belongs. I'm keeping those promises." "The latter," Caitlin said dryly, running a sharp red fingernail down her menu as she read it over, "can be arranged, with pleasure." "I'm in," Pixie said. "Let's kill him." The table fell quiet."
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Craig Schaefer |
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00ff8a9
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I gave Caitlin a look. She shrugged. "Don't know what you want me to say," Caitlin said. "I don't understand why humans get so worked up over killing in the first place. This is pest control. You kill him, he goes to hell, he hopefully gets put to good use. Nuisance solved."
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Craig Schaefer |
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3300531
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The princes of hell were too old, too powerful to operate on Earth. They couldn't even set foot here without kicking off the apocalypse ahead of schedule. So every prince had a hound: the one demon in their court who was smart enough, tough enough, and mean enough to take care of their court's business and scare all the other hellspawn into submission.
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Craig Schaefer |
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d212521
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Sunrise came like a stampede of bulls, kicking me out of bed and into the shower as my mind lurched into high gear.
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Craig Schaefer |
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2f6e340
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Just think of it like this: you've got two options, and you have to pick one." I held out my hands, palms upward, juggling them up and down like the arms of a scale. "Free money? Bullet in the head? Free money? Bullet in the head? Now, I'm no professional merchant such as yourself, but if it was up to me? I'd take the free money." --
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Craig Schaefer |
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777e880
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You got a name?" "Kim," he spat. "What's your first name?" "Mister."
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Craig Schaefer |
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58c08db
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He shook his head. "It's ridiculous. And embarrassing." "People have no respect for professionalism," I said. "Exactly." He waggled the tip of the knife at me, wincing as his fractured arm shifted an inch. "You get it. I'm trying to provide an efficient, skilled service, but no, they want me to stand there and talk the target to death, like I'm some kind of Saturday morning cartoon villain."
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Craig Schaefer |
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647fd47
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Westie grinned. "First men to ever escape the Iceberg. Hell, I bet they'll make a movie about us. George Clooney might play me." "You don't look anything like George Clooney," Jake said. "Said might, not would. Don't piss on a man's dreams."
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Craig Schaefer |
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be9d735
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Jenny sends her best," Margaux said. "With Nicky being Nicky and Agent Black being, well, everywhere, it's not safe for her to leave Vegas right now."
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Craig Schaefer |
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6fb2b2a
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The first combination I tried was 666. You know how some people always set their passwords to "password" or "secret" even though those are terrible choices? In my experience, ask a demon to pick a three-digit number and nine times out of ten, they go with 666. They just can't help themselves."
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Craig Schaefer |
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5259956
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What about the second floor?" Coop said. "Any other security up there?" My gaze flicked to the screen. I kept seeing the other photos, the ones I couldn't show them, fresh in my mind's eye. "Yeah. But that's my job. Weird stuff." "Weird stuff?" Augie asked. "Kid," Coop told him, "something you gotta learn about livin' the life. Every once in a while, on certain special jobs, a guy like Dan here will say the words 'weird stuff.' It's...sort ..
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Craig Schaefer |
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6274f74
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Pulling a heist is like going on vacation: you're never ready when you think you are, there's always one last thing to pack, and there's always something you forgot. If you're lucky, you remember it at the last minute. If not...well, you're either in for a bad vacation, or you're going to jail.
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Craig Schaefer |
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db95439
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Ski masks might be traditional attire for a burglary, but buying four of them when there was no snow on the ground was a great way to stand out like a sore thumb. Believe it or not, cops follow up on that kind of thing, and cashiers remember it.
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Craig Schaefer |
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1f958f4
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you take a job, you do the job. Even when the job is to stand beside his throne at a gala and look vaguely menacing." "You're good at that," I said. "Yes, but the specific and targeted sort of menacing is much more fun."
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Craig Schaefer |
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ed73b3d
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You see, your magic can only change what things are. His magic can change why things are.
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Craig Schaefer |
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93f8054
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Solitary confinement? That's where they stick you. Hell, you can do your whole sentence in solitary. Pros: you won't get stabbed. Cons: you'll probably go insane from the isolation.
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Craig Schaefer |
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926d7a3
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A couple strolled by behind my chair. For a moment, they got between us and the closest light, casting Freddie in a patch of shadow. As the light peeled away, so did the facade. A desiccated corpse reclined on the divan, with skin turned blue and chapped by arctic windburn. The corpse grinned at me from a lipless mouth, showing sharp yellowed teeth. Her nose and most of one cheek had rotted away, the ragged wounds black with frostbite, and ..
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Craig Schaefer |
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718db8c
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His gaze slid from her headscarf to her glass of club soda. "Still pretending to be a Muslim?" "Hey, Damien," Freddie said, "still pretending to be a man?" "Dances-with-Knives, a pleasure as always." He lowered his voice. "I could ask you a similar question, wendigo." "I was commenting on your lack of genitals." Freddie leaned closer to me, cupped one hand to the side of her mouth and stage-whispered, "Nothing down there. Smooth like a Ken ..
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Craig Schaefer |
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69b3e4a
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has anybody ever stolen anything from this place and lived to talk about it?" Halima crossed her arms. "Allegedly, a bartender was once short on cab fare home. He borrowed five dollars from the till, intending to pay it back the next day. He was found in his apartment, torn into so many pieces the police had to scoop his remains up with a shovel." "Zero-tolerance policy," Freddie added."
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Craig Schaefer |
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94a6953
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Gandhi doesn't pick up an AK-47, and Pixie doesn't volunteer to splash blood on her hands.
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Craig Schaefer |
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bcd08e4
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The truth is," Nadine purred into my ear, "since the moment we met, all I've been thinking about is you, me, and my favorite pair of scissors. I think I'd start by gelding you, like the vile animal you are. And despite knowing this? Despite hearing me tell you exactly what I think of you and how much I'd enjoy making you suffer?"
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Craig Schaefer |
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c2b72b7
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Just one question: how did you break the curse?" "Easy," I said. "C'mon, sentenced to life in prison? That's how I knew something was fishy. You would have moved heaven and earth to get me out of here." Bentley smiled thinly, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "You make the plan, son," he said, "and we'll warm up the bulldozers."
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Craig Schaefer |
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ddd0051
|
They're Wildcat Sport XTs. Four-stroke engines, double A-arm suspension, front differential locks. Those babies can haul ass." "Which isn't going to mean a thing," Paul said, "when you ram straight into a boulder in the dark."
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Craig Schaefer |