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a6b089e
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Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure to open for you... Zark off. ...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
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humor
random
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Douglas Adams |
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dd0f243
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What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you'..
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Douglas Adams |
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692db6d
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Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
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Douglas Adams |
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a2c4ee5
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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Douglas Adams |
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7fc9956
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He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries.
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Douglas Adams |
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a01e788
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I'm a scientist and I know what constitutes proof. But the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Most scientists forget that.
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wonko-the-sane
interpretation
perspective
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Douglas Adams |
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6a12140
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Who is this god person anyway?
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Douglas Adams |
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46bae57
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It's unpleasantly like being drunk." "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "You ask a glass of water." --
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puns
water
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Douglas Adams |
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6d36ccc
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It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much, the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man for precisely..
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wisdom
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Douglas Adams |
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85d8401
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She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn't care.
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Douglas Adams |
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1c9124e
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The President of the Universe holds no real power. His sole purpose is to take attention away from where the power truly exists...
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Douglas Adams |
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9ad4294
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In the great debate that has raged for centuries about what, if anything, happens to you after death, be it heaven, hell, purgatory or extinction, one thing has never been in doubt - that you would at least know the answer when you were dead.
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Douglas Adams |
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e9687ab
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during this century (the twentieth) we have for the first time been dominated by non-interactive forms of entertainment: cinema, radio, recorded music and television. Before they came along all entertainment was interactive: theatre, music, sport - the performers and audience were there together, and even a respectfully silent audience exerted a powerful shaping presence on the unfolding of whatever drama they were there for. We didn't need..
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Douglas Adams |
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d99e41c
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I remembered once, in Japan, having been to see the Gold Pavilion Temple in Kyoto and being mildly surprised at quite how well it had weathered the passage of time since it was first built in the fourteenth century. I was told it hadn't weathered well at all, and had in fact been burnt to the ground twice in this century. "So it isn't the original building?" I had asked my Japanese guide. "But yes, of course it is," he insisted, rather surp..
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Douglas Adams |
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bab8015
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The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you'll get it.
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science
scifi
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Douglas Adams |
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babb744
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That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it.
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Douglas Adams |
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e75cc36
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The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying 'And another thing...' twenty minutes after admitting he'd lost the argument.
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Douglas Adams |
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d0a0a7f
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What was the self-sacrifice?" I jettisoned half of a much-loved and I think irreplaceable pair of shoes." Why was that self-sacrifice?" Because they were mine!" said Ford, crossly. I think we have different value systems." Well mine's better."
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Douglas Adams |
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6e1660c
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A doctor, a logician and a marine biologist had also just arrived, flown in at phenomenal expense from Maximegalon to try to reason with the lead singer who had locked himself in the bathroom with a bottle of pills and was refusing to come out till it could be proved conclusively to him that he wasn't a fish. The bass player was busy machine-gunning his bedroom and the drummer was nowhere on board. Frantic inquiries led to the discovery tha..
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music
humor
happiness
rock-stars
hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy
logic
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Douglas Adams |
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7c90040
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I've had the sort of day that would make St. Francis of Assisi kick babies.
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Douglas Adams |
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ab95d33
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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Douglas Adams |
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9efbf93
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I begged her, 'Please don't leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.'" "What did she say?" "She hit me on the head with the rock again," Ford responded curtly. "I think i can confirm that was my daughter." "Sweet kid." "You have to get to know her," said Arthur. "She eases up, does she?" "No, but you get a better sense of when to ..
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Douglas Adams |
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45843e2
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What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.
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science
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Douglas Adams |
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d525589
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Mostly harmless
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Douglas Adams |
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b6b0dd5
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The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis.
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Douglas Adams |
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d559130
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My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees.
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Douglas Adams |
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b3c4eed
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I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence.
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preordained-existence
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Douglas Adams |
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2ef8023
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Beppu (n.) The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page.
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Douglas Adams |
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e86f9ea
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If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.
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Douglas Adams |
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0d60914
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The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with."
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Douglas Adams |
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cb8785b
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I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg.
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Douglas Adams |
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8d85e2a
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It {Darwin's theory of evolution] was a concept of such stunning simplicity, but it gave rise, naturally, to all of the infinite and baffling complexity of life. The awe it inspired in me made the awe that people talk about in respect of religious experience seem, frankly, silly beside it. I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.
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Douglas Adams |
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c1a3885
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I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is.
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Douglas Adams |
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941ceb0
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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost."
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Douglas Adams |
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6f2e3a5
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So, like I said, these are a bunch of really sweet guys, but you wouldn't want to share a Galaxy with them, not if they're just gonna keep at it, not if they're not gonna learn to relax a little. I mean it's just gonna be continual nervous time, isn't it, right? Pow, pow, pow, when are they next coming at us? Peaceful coexistence is just right out, right? Get me some water somebody, thank you." He sat back and sipped reflectively. OK," he s..
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irony
sci-fi
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Douglas Adams |
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a085206
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It is of course perfectly natural to assume that everyone else is having a far more exciting time than you. Human beings, for instance, have a phrase that describes this phenomenon, 'The other man's grass is always greener.' The Shaltanac race of Broopkidren 13 had a similar phrase, but since their planet is somewhat eccentric, botanically speaking, the best they could manage was, 'The other Shaltanac's joopleberry shrub is always a more ma..
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inspirational
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Douglas Adams |
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703fc98
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Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait--' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate-- 'let it be. It won't be long.' Richard stared in disbelief. 'You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?' The Professor looked blankly at him.
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Douglas Adams |
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5feaf49
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They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.
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Douglas Adams |
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61535ae
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Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh.
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humor
laugh
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Douglas Adams |
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cbb1ab1
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The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been extremely chastened to realize that although he originally came from a world which had cars and computers and ballet and Armagnac, he didn't, by himself, know how any of it worked. He couldn't do it. Left to his own devices he couldn't build a toaster. He could just about make a sandwich and that was it.
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Douglas Adams |
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7c997ca
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Share and Enjoy' is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium-sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years. The motto stands-- or rather stood-- in three mile high illuminated letters near the Complaints Department spaceport on Eadrax. Unfortunately its weight was such that s..
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sci-fi
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Douglas Adams |
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6236f2b
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Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.
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Douglas Adams |
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6e61995
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What's the problem Earthman?" said Zaphod, now transferring his attention to the animal's enormous rump. "I just don't want to eat an animal that's standing here inviting me to," said Arthur, "it's heartless." "Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten," said Zaphod. "That's not the point," Arthur protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright," he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care, I'm not going to thi..
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Douglas Adams |
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f4ffe7d
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The President in particular is very much a figurehead -- he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. On those criteria Zap..
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politics
political-power
propaganda
president
power
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Douglas Adams |