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a0af796
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I felt the heat where his hand had been; it was only a moment, but it left a warm imprint, almost as though it might be visible. A human hand was exactly the right weight, exactly the right temperature for touching another person, I realized.
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Gail Honeyman |
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4b512ed
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It seemed there was an announcement every five minutes from the mythical conductor, imparting sagacious gems such as "large items should be placed in the overhead luggage racks", or that "passengers should report any unattended items to the train crew as soon as possible". I wondered at whom these pearls of wisdom were aimed; some passing extraterrestrial, perhaps, or a yak herder from Ulan Bator who had trekked across the steppes, sailed t..
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Gail Honeyman |
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bdff66d
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There have been times when I felt that I might die of loneliness. People sometimes say they might die of boredom, that they're dying for a cup of tea, but for me, dying of loneliness is not a hyperbole. When I feel like that, my head drops and my shoulders slump and I ache, I physically ache, for human contact - I truly feel that I might tumble to the ground and pass away if someone doesn't hold me, touch me. I don't mean a lover - this rec..
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Gail Honeyman |
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ef1f8f9
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when you took a moment to see what was around you, noticed all the little things, it made you feel....lighter.
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Gail Honeyman |
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869e8e8
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I'd tried to cope alone for far too long, and it hadn't done me any good at all. Sometimes you simply needed someone kind to sit with you while you dealt with things.
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Gail Honeyman |
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5597e55
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I could not solve the puzzle of me.
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Gail Honeyman |
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993668c
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It takes a long time to learn to live with loss, assuming you ever manage it.
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Gail Honeyman |
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5736497
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Her home was so...shiny. She was shiny too, her skin, her hair, her shoes, her teeth. I hadn't even realized before; I am matte, dull and scuffed.
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Gail Honeyman |
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16eeea8
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I allowed my mind to wander. I've found this to be a very effective way of passing the time; you take a situation or a person and start to imagine nice things that might happen. You can make anything happen, anything at all, inside a daydream.
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Gail Honeyman |
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2faab38
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People seem to like me better with makeup on, for some reason," I said. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, apparently as stumped as I was."
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Gail Honeyman |
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b8e3716
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I did not own any Tupperware, having no need of it until this point. I could go to a department store to purchase some. That seemed to be the sort of thing that a woman of my age and social circumstances might do. Exciting!
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Gail Honeyman |
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233a1ba
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I'm responsible. I chose to put myself in a situation where I'm responsible, wanting to look after her, a small, dependent, vulnerable creature. It's innate and I don't even have to think about it. It's like breathing -- for some people.
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responsibility
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Gail Honeyman |
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e7175cb
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You forget that the world is full of ordinary decent people like yourselves, good Samaritans who'll stop and help a soul in need.
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Gail Honeyman |
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2cf5f1c
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Everything was there, obvious to us both, but it all remained unsaid.
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Gail Honeyman |
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ce8706c
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Was this how it worked, then, successful social integration? Was it really that simple? Wear some lipstick, go to the hairdressers and alternate the clothes you wear? Someone ought to write a book, or at least an explanatory pamphlet, and pass this information on.
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Gail Honeyman |
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0240a98
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do not light up a room when I walk into it. No one longs to see me or to hear my voice. I do not feel sorry for myself, not in the least. These are simply statements of fact. I have been waiting for death all my life. I do not mean that I actively wish to die, just that I do not really want to be alive.
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Gail Honeyman |
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8eb3f45
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All of the people in the room seemed to take so much for granted: that they would be invited to social events, that they would have friends and family to talk to, that they would fall in love, be loved in return, perhaps create a family of their own.
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Gail Honeyman |
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de62894
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I finally managed to open the door, but couldn't raise my head, didn't have the strength to look up. At least the banging had stopped. That was my only objective. "Jesus Christ!" a man's voice said. "Eleanor Oliphant," I replied."
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Gail Honeyman |
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595145b
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When did people become embarrassed to sing in public? Was it because of the decline in churchgoing? And yet the television schedule was full of singing contests in which people, however untalented, were far from shy about participating.
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Gail Honeyman |
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cec4da6
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Life should be about trying new things ,exploring boundaries, I reminded myself.
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Gail Honeyman |
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93beafc
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In the end, what matters is this: I survived." I gave him a very small smile. "I survived, Raymond!" I said, knowing that I was both lucky and unlucky, and grateful for it."
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Gail Honeyman |
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e783c31
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But it's still love: animals, people. It's unconditional, and it's both the easiest and the hardest thing in the world.
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Gail Honeyman |
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ab06d9f
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The crematorium was a busy place and the parking spaces were needed, I supposed. I'm not sure I'd like to be burned. I think I might like to be fed to zoo animals. It would be both environmentally friendly and a lovely treat for the larger carnivores. Could you request that? I wondered. I made a mental note to write to the WWF in order to find out.
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Gail Honeyman |
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097afc3
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I have yet to find a genre of music I enjoy; it's basically audible physics, waves and energized particles, and, like most sane people, I have no interest in physics. It therefore struck me as bizarre that I was humming a tune from Oliver! I mentally added the exclamation mark, which, for the first time ever, was appropriate.
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Gail Honeyman |
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22ae5b6
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I'd made my legs black, and my hair blonde. I'd lengthened and darkened my eyelashes, dusted a flush of pink onto my cheeks and painted my lips a shade of dark red which was rarely found in nature. I should, by rights, look less like a human woman than I'd ever done, and yet it seemed that this was the most acceptable, the most appropriate appearance that I'd ever made before the world. It was puzzling.
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Gail Honeyman |
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6e61036
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Life was so very precarious. I already knew that, of course. No one knew it better than me. I know, I know how ridiculous this is, how pathetic, but on some days, the very darkest days, knowing that the plant would die if I didn't water it was the only thing that forced me up out of bed.
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Gail Honeyman |
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e661c68
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Some people, weak people, fear solitude. What they fail to understand is that there's something very liberating about it;
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Gail Honeyman |
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706dd0e
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Human mating rituals are unbelievably tedious to observe. At least in the animal kingdom you are occasionally treated to a flash of bright feathers or a display of spectacular violence. Hair flicking and play fights don't quite cut the mustard.
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Gail Honeyman |
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c80740a
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Social interaction, it appeared, was surprisingly expensive--the travel, the clothes, the drinks, the lunches, the gifts. Sometimes it evened out in the end--like with the drinks--but, I was finding out, more often than not, one incurred a net financial loss.
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Gail Honeyman |
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2371707
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Life is all about taking decisive action, darling. Whatever you want to do, do it-- whatever you want to take, grab it. Whatever you want to bring to an end, END IT. And live with the consequences.
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Gail Honeyman |
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8cfa90e
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At the office, there was that palpable sense of Friday joy, everyone colluding with the lie that somehow the weekend would be amazing and that, next week, work would be different, better. They never learn.
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Gail Honeyman |
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5c8f61b
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Raymond hadn't phoned anyone or asked an outside agency to intervene. He'd elected to look after me himself. I'd been pondering this, and concluded that there must be some people for whom difficult behavior wasn't a reason to end their relationship with you. If they liked you--and, I remembered, Raymond and I had agreed that we were pals now--then, it seemed, they were prepared to maintain contact, even if you were sad, or upset, or behavin..
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Gail Honeyman |
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1f89d9f
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This was an all too familiar social scenario for me; standing alone, staring into the middle of distance. It was absolutely fine. It was absolutely normal. After the fire, at each new school, I'd tried so hard, but something about me just didn't fit. There was, it seemed, no Eleanor-shaped social hole for me to slot into.
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Gail Honeyman |
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e665795
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Did you have a good time on Saturday, then?" he asked. I wished it had been between mouthfuls, but it was, in fact, horrifically, during one. "Yes, thank you," I said. "It was the first time I've tried dancing, and I quite enjoyed it." He kept forking the food into his mouth. The process, and the noise, seemed almost industrial in its relentlessness."
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Gail Honeyman |
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c1933bf
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The gilded confines of the Beauty Hall were not my preferred habitat; like the chicken that had laid the eggs for my sandwich, I was more of a free-range creature.
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eggs
eleanor-oliphant
funny
gail-honeyman
humor
sandwich
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Gail Honeyman |
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cec4888
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If I'm ever unsure as to the correct course of action, I'll think, "What would a ferret do?"
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Gail Honeyman |
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9781634
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Their laughter seemed to have turned into low whispering now. It never ceases to amaze me, the things they find interesting, amusing or unusual. I can only assume they've led very sheltered lives.
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Gail Honeyman |
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61eb87c
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He had the look of a gazelle or an impala, one of those boring beige animals with large, round eyes on the side of its face. The kind of animal that always gets eaten by a leopard in the end.
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Gail Honeyman |
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ac0d8b9
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What, I wondered, was the point of me? I contributed nothing to the world, absolutely nothing, and I took nothing from it either. When I ceased to exist, it would make no material difference to anyone. Most people's absence from the world would be felt on a personal level by at least a handful of people. I, however, had no one. I do not light up a room when I walk into it. No one longs to see me or to hear my voice.
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Gail Honeyman |
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e1f1f11
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I'd worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don't find very funny, do things they don't particularly want to, with people whose company they don't particularly enjoy.
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Gail Honeyman |
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4e15c9e
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They choose things like plates, bowls and cutlery--I mean, what are they doing at the moment: shoveling food from packets into their mouths with their bare hands? I simply fail to see how the act of legally formalizing a human relationship necessitates friends, family and coworkers upgrading the contents of their kitchen for them.
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Gail Honeyman |
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cba93da
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She certainly seems to have a life, not just an existence.
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Gail Honeyman |
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cde92a1
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I did sometimes wonder what it would be like to have someone - a cousing, say, or a sibling - to call in times of need, or even just to spend unplanned time with. Some who knows you, cares about you, who wants the best for you. A houseplant, however attractive and robust, doesn't quite cut the mustard, unfortunately. Pointless to speculate, though. I had no one, and it was futile to wish it was otherwise. After all, it was no more than I de..
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Gail Honeyman |
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a9942b2
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if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? And if a woman who's wholly alone occasionally talks to a pot plant, is she certifiable?
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Gail Honeyman |