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737be82
|
I'm a seething cauldron of disconnected rage on the inside, Lieutenant." "Ah, repression," Keyes said. "Excellent. Try to avoid taking a potshot at me when you finally blow, please." "I can't promise anything, sir," Alan said."
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John Scalzi |
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877cde2
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I served with that son of a bitch, Corporal. Ruiz wouldn't compliment his mother for giving birth to him, if you know what I mean.
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John Scalzi |
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c6f005c
|
In one hand I have a restraining order, and in the other I have a Taser. Which would you like to meet first?
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John Scalzi |
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afa8b3a
|
Well, I'm sorry you might possibly be out a bit of money, Jack," Isabel said. "Jesus, Isabel," Holloway said. He opened the door. "A bit of money? Try at least a couple billion credits. That's billion, with a b. Saying that's a bit of money is like saying a forest fire is a nice way to roast some marshmallows."
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John Scalzi |
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d19b0be
|
God damn it," Thomas said as he sat down at the table, carrying a tray so piled with food that it was a miracle he could even lift it. "Aren't we all just too good-looking for words."
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John Scalzi |
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ebe0eed
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Christ on a Popsicle stick.
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John Scalzi |
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fa97aca
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Did she tell you I set puppies on fire, too?" Vann asked. "She did not," I said. "It may have been implied."
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John Scalzi |
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ad3b489
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Jack Holloway told me he would get the son of a bitch who killed my child and the mate of my child," Papa continued. "Jack Holloway did get that son of a bitch. Jack Holloway got you. You are the man who killed my child. Get off my planet, you son of a bitch."
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smackdown
justice
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John Scalzi |
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1879a90
|
The reality is more complicated, but as with most humans, the people on Earth prefer the simple answer.
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John Scalzi |
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a122c08
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This is the last time I would ever visit the cemetery or my wife's grave, but I didn't want to expend too much effort in trying to remember it. As I said, this is the place where she's never been anything but dead. There's not much value in remembering that.
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John Scalzi |
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cb872a2
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What if I told you that that which makes you fundamentally human is something that you share with another people, a people so different from you that they might appear strange or frightening at first glance. A people who might terrify you from appearance alone. Could you make the jump, and understand that inside, they are not so different at all?
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John Scalzi |
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06942de
|
A library is not information; it is a means of preserving information. In every case, before memory or information can be stored, someone must decide what must be stored. Someone must choose. Someone must curate.
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history
memory
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John Scalzi |
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d4ce203
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Colonization is the key to our race's survival. It's as simple as that. We must colonize or be closed off and contained by other races.
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colonize
contained
races
colonization
key
simple
race
survival
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John Scalzi |
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6ea45d5
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The Scooby gang doesn't travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they're one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred's got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.
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humor
scooby-doo
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John Scalzi |
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fdbf005
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I hate that I've become one of those old men who visits a cemetery to be with his dead wife. When I was (much) younger I used to ask Kathy what the point would be. A pile of rotting meat and bones that used to be a person isn't a person anymore; it's just a pile of rotting meat and bones. The person is gone--off to heaven or hell or wherever or nowhere. You might as well visit a side of beef. When you get older you realize this is still the..
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John Scalzi |
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b294d7c
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A church is an institution separate from the religion it serves. It's filled with people. And you know how people are.
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John Scalzi |
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c20e8ca
|
I don't look smug." "You always look smug. You have resting smug face."
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John Scalzi |
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a54680e
|
Look," he said. "We'd like you to return the salary." "Oh, is that all?" I said. "Heck. That's easy. The answer is no." "What?" "No." "No?" "What part of that two-letter word don't you understand, Brad?" I asked. "Was it the vowel that threw you, or the consonant ?"
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John Scalzi |
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89fc868
|
The recruiting office was a small storefront in a nondescript strip mall; there was a state liquor authority store on one side of it and a tattoo parlor on the other. Depending on what order you went into each, you could wake up the next morning in some serious trouble.
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John Scalzi |
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052be49
|
The Fflict recognized five genders: male, female, zhial, yal, and neuter. Aul was zhial, and ze liked zis pronouns accurately stated. I would too, in zis position.
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John Scalzi |
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869eae1
|
I mean that you and I know that in this universe, God is a hack," he said. "He's a writer on an awful science fiction television show, and He can't plot His way out of a box. How do you have faith when you know that?"
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John Scalzi |
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9344b11
|
You have to eliminate the low-hanging targets first, on the off chance you were dealing with morons.
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John Scalzi |
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2aed01b
|
You just know this is going to be bad," Susan said. "--but when I went to college," Harry continued, throwing a piece of bread at Susan, "if your roommate died, you were usually allowed to skip your finals for that semester. You know, because of the trauma." "And oddly enough, your roommate got to skip them, too," Susan said. "For much the same reason."
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John Scalzi |
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02e5c3b
|
There is a moment of surface tension when a knife blade presents its demand and the flesh honors it. An instant of pressure before the puncture, the rip before the slide, a small eternity easy to miss but impossible to ignore if you've felt it before. I lived in that moment a great while for the small sliver of time it was there.
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John Scalzi |
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e89a2fe
|
I glared at the man. "You know, Dr. Russell, most doctors would have found a more tactful way to break the news." "I'm sorry, Mr. Perry," Dr. Russell said. "I don't want to seem unconcerned. But it's really not a problem. Even on Earth, testicular cancer is easily treatable, particularly in the early stages, which is the case here. At the very worst, you'd lose the testicle, but that's not a significant setback." "Unless you happen to own t..
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John Scalzi |
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a77bd3c
|
The supply transport's on autopilot most of the way down anyway. I'm just on board so that if it crashes, they can say someone died.
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John Scalzi |
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1ddccda
|
It's a hell of a thing to say good-bye to your whole life.
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John Scalzi |
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28bd0f8
|
It's just a reminder that war favors the rich. The ones who can leave, do. The ones who can't, suffer." Kiva was silent for a moment. Then, "Fuck you for having a conscience, Tomi."
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John Scalzi |
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8211bc9
|
Imagine waking up and finding your first and last view of the world was a shotgun barrel. That'd be a hell of a life.
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John Scalzi |
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92fb447
|
Breakfast was amazing, and I say that having been married to a woman who could make a breakfast spread that would have made Gandhi stop a fast.
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John Scalzi |
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7ce033f
|
I seem to be good at speaking the politicians' language," Szilard said. "Apparently there's an advantage around here to being mildly socially retarded, and that's the Special Forces for sure."
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John Scalzi |
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42202b9
|
he didn't exactly have the "programmer" look to him, if you know what I mean. He'd be the programmer's boss. The one they hated. The one who made them work on holidays."
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John Scalzi |
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8355438
|
Cardenia gawked at Rachela I. "You're unbelievable." "I worked in marketing," Rachela I said. "Before I was a prophet. After, too, but we didn't call it that after that point."
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John Scalzi |
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7c2b8f0
|
Wes is Wes," Alastair said. "One in every family. I love him, but I think of him as a sarcastic pet." --
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John Scalzi |
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c355ecf
|
Well, life is like that sometimes", Isabel said. "We learn things too late, and then we don't get to use them."
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John Scalzi |
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e7b9ce5
|
The universe isn't going to be conquered by legions of geriatrics. No offense.
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universe
geriatrics
legions
offense
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John Scalzi |
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90ac871
|
Remember that the plant wants to eat you," the groundskeeper said. "It's not going to let you get away. Don't fight it. Let yourself be eaten." "Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm finding your advice to be less than one hundred percent helpful,"
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John Scalzi |
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ade9a5b
|
I'm a 'the glass is half-empty and filled with poison' kind of guy, actually,
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John Scalzi |
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3236dbf
|
What is it like when you lose someone you love?" Jane asked. "You die, too," I said. "And you wait around for your body to catch up." "Is that what you're doing now?" Jane said. "Waiting for your body to catch up, I mean." "No, not anymore," I said. "You eventually get to live again. You just live a different life, is all."
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John Scalzi |
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97c40f9
|
If knew you were going to drug me, kidnap me, and take me back to the dark ages with out my pants, I never would have slept with you.
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John Scalzi |
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f5d79da
|
She was old and crankily conservative in the way only old liberals could be.
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John Scalzi |
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4eccc79
|
Trust your weapon, it is almost certainly smarter than you are. Remember this and you may yet live.
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trust
weapon
remember
|
John Scalzi |
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8c26215
|
I had, bluntly, the worst fucking headache I had ever had in my life. I'm trying to think of the best way to describe it. Try this. Imagine a migraine, on top of a hangover, while sitting in a kindergarten of thirty screaming children, who are all taking turns stabbing you in the eye with an ice pick.
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John Scalzi |
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3164bab
|
Okay, that's interesting," Duvall said. "So you're a priest of the Forshan religion? Which schism?" "The leftward schism, and no, not a priest." "Couldn't handle the celibacy?" "Leftward priests aren't required to be celibate," Dahl said, "but considering I was the only human at the seminary, I had celibacy thrust upon me, if you will." "Some people wouldn't let that stop them," Duvall said. "You haven't seen a Forshan seminary student up..
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John Scalzi |