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d9e1d4b
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Why don't you ever whip me?" she pouted one night. "Because I haven't the time," he snapped at her impatiently. "I haven't the time. Don't you know there's a parade going on?"
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Joseph Heller |
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279bd9a
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He was working hard at increasing his life span. He did it by cultivating boredom.
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Joseph Heller |
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2889891
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She acts like she don't like you" "She doesn't like anyone" "She likes Capitan Black", Orr reminded. "That's because he treats her like dirt. Anyone can get a girl that way"
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Joseph Heller |
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778bc23
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Group headquarters was alarmed, for there is no telling what people might find out once they felt felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to. Colonel Cathcart sent Colonel Korn to stop it, and Colonel Korn succeeded with a rule governing the asking of questions. Colonel Korn's rule was a stroke of genius, Colonel Korn explained in his report to Colonel Cathcart. Under Colonel Corn's rule the only people permitted to ask questions we..
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Joseph Heller |
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aeea6ec
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The Germans will be beaten in a few months. And Japan will be beaten a few months after that. If I were to give up my life now, it wouldn't be for my country. It would be for Cathcart and Korn. So I'm turning my bombsight in for the duration. From now on I'm thinking only of me.
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Joseph Heller |
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5d9b9c5
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In short, he was a dope. He often looked to Yossarian like one of those people hanging around modern museums with both eyes together on one side of a face. It was an illusion, of course, generated by Clevinger's predilection for staring fixedly at one side of a question and never seeing the other side at all.
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humor
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Joseph Heller |
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99bf06c
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The spirit gone, man is garbage.
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man
spirit
garbage
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Joseph Heller |
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7e94729
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Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. 'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' he observed. 'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed. Yossarian saw it clearly in all its spinning reasonableness. There was an elliptical precision about its perfect pairs of parts that was graceful and shocking, like good modern art, and at times Yossarian wasn't quite sure he saw..
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insightful
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Joseph Heller |
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3db2e23
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He was like a man who had grown frozen with horror once and had never come completely unthawed.
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Joseph Heller |
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a1e9f96
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Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out
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heller
satyrical
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Joseph Heller |
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19d4e2c
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A distant warm look entered Major Danby's eyes. "It must be nice to live like a vegetable," he conceded wistfully. "It's lousy," answered Yossarian. "No, it must be very pleasant to be free from all this doubt and pressure," insisted Major Danby. "I think I'd like to live like a vegetable and make no important decisions." "What kind of vegetable, Danby?" "A cucumber or a carrot." "What kind of a cucumber? A good one or a bad one?" "Oh, a go..
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Joseph Heller |
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10b7dca
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Now, where were we? Read me back the last line." " 'Read me back the last line,' " read back the corporal who could take shorthand. "Not my last line, stupid!" the colonel shouted. "Somebody else's." " 'Read me back the last line,' " read back the corporal. "That's my last line again!" shrieked the colonel, turning purple with anger. "Oh, no, sir," corrected the corporal. "That's my last line. I read it to you just a moment ago. Don't you r..
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Joseph Heller |
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8426b10
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Consciously, sir, consciously," Yossarian corrected in an effort to help. "I hate them consciously."
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Joseph Heller |
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df05e2c
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everyone knew that sin was evil, and that no good could come from evil. But he did feel good; he felt positively marvellous. Consequently, it followed logically that telling lies and defecting from duty could not be sins. The chaplain had mastered, in a moment of divine intuition, the handy technique of protective rationalisation, and he was exhilarated by his discovery. It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice..
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Joseph Heller |
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0eed41c
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Be thankful you're healthy." "Be bitter you're not going to stay that way." "Be glad you're even alive." "Be furious you're going to die."
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Joseph Heller |
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088fe35
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They were four clean-cut kids who were having lots of fun, and they were driving Yossarian nuts. He could not make them understand that he was a crotchety old fogey of twenty-eight, that he belonged to another generation, another era, another world, that having a good time bored him and was not worth the effort, and that they bored him, too. He could not make them shut up; they were worse than women. They had not brains enough to be introve..
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Joseph Heller |
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f333c08
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Only a fraction of his countrymen would give up their lives to win it (the war), and it was not his ambition to be among them. To die or not to die, that was the question, and Clevinger grew limp trying to answer it. History did not demand Yossarian's premature demise, justice could be satisfied without it, progress did not hinge upon it, victory did not depend on it. That men would die was a matter of necessity; which men would die, though..
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Joseph Heller |
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f8c4354
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You know, that might be the answer - to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.
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Joseph Heller |
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20d0770
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How do you feel Yossarian?" "Fine. No, I'm very frightened." "That's good," said Major Danby. "It proves you're still alive. It won't be fun." Yossarian started out. "Yes it will."
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Joseph Heller |
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f666c6d
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The chaplain had sinned, and it was good. Common sense told him that telling lies and defecting from duty were sins. On the other hand, everyone knew that sin was evil and that no good could come from evil. But he did feel good; he felt positively marvelous. Consequently, it followed logically that telling lies and defecting from duty could not be sins. The chaplain had mastered, in a moment of divine intuition, the handy technique of prote..
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rationalization
sin
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Joseph Heller |
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95ebbf4
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He wanted to write urgent love letters to her all day long and crowd the endless pages with desperate, uninhibited confessions of his humble worship and need with careful instructions for administering artificial respiration. He wanted to pour out to her in torrents of self-pity all his unbearable loneliness and despair and warn her never to leave the boric acid or the aspirin in reach of the children or to cross a street against the traffi..
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Joseph Heller |
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0fe7c2b
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Hungry Joe was crazy, and no one knew it better than Yossarian, who did everything he could to help him. Hungry Joe just wouldn't listen to Yossarian. Hungry Joe just wouldn't listen because he thought Yossarian was crazy
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funny
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Joseph Heller |
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f4f4ea7
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He woke up blinking with a slight pain in his head and opened his eyes upon a world boiling in chaos in which everything was in proper order.
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order
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Joseph Heller |
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09c19f1
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Major Major's father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down. His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government p..
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Joseph Heller |
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9c26f6d
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Because he needed a friend so desperately, he never found one.
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Joseph Heller |
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eaf1fe8
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Since he had nothing better to do well in, he did well in school.
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Joseph Heller |
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d8a5064
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The dead man in Yossarian's tent was a pest, and Yossarian didn't like him, even though he had never seen him. Having him laying around all day annoyed Yossarian so much that he had gone to the orderly room several times to complain to Sergeant Towser, who refused to admit that the dead man even existed, which, of course, he no longer did.
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Joseph Heller |
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e5414ce
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And don't tell me God works in mysterious ways," Yossarian continued. ... "There's nothing mysterious about it, He's not working at all. He's playing. Or else He's forgotten all about us. That's the kind of God you people talk about, a country bumpkin, a clumsy, bungling, brainless, conceited, uncouth hayseed. Good God, how much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth d..
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Joseph Heller |
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e4e4a65
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You're inches away from death every time you go on a mission. How much older can you be at your age?
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Joseph Heller |
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a8cbbac
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Yossarian was in love with the maid in the lime-colored panties because she seemed to be the only woman left he could make love to without falling in love with.
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Joseph Heller |
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047207a
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There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
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Joseph Heller |
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b8ec05d
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The important thing is to keep them pledging,' he explained to his cohorts. 'It doesn't matter whether they mean it or not. That's why they make little kids pledge allegiance even before they know what "pledge" and "allegiance" mean.' To Captain Piltchard and Captain Wren, the Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade was a glorious pain in the ass, since it complicated their task of organizing the crews for each combat mission. Men were tied up all ov..
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Joseph Heller |
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63a0e9f
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It isn't necessary to call me Father, the chaplain explained. I'm an Anabaptist.
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Joseph Heller |
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36feb41
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Being born with a sickly resemblance to Henry Fonda was the first of a long series of practical jokes of which destiny was to make Major Major the unhappy victim throughout his joyless life. Being born Major Major Major was the second
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Joseph Heller |
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f116825
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It was a vile and muddy war, and Yossarian could have lived without it--lived forever, perhaps. Only a fraction of his countrymen would give up their lives to win it, and it was not his ambition to be among them. To die or not to die, that was the question, and Clevinger grew limp trying to answer it. History did not demand Yossarian's premature demise, justice could be satisfied without it, progress did not hinge upon it, victory did not d..
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Joseph Heller |
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883781e
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E]veryone knew that sin was evil, and that no good could come from evil. But he did feel good; he felt positively marvellous. Consequently, it followed logically that telling lies and defecting from duty could not be sins. The chaplain had mastered, in a moment of divine intuition, the handy technique of protective rationalisation, and he was exhilarated by his discovery. It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vic..
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Joseph Heller |
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325fb2a
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We have no ideas, and they're pretty firm.
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Joseph Heller |
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f76140f
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I suppose it is just about impossible for someone like me to rebel anymore and produce any kind of lasting effect. I have lost the power to upset things that I had as a child; I can no longer change my environment or even disturb it seriously.
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Joseph Heller |
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7b9eac8
|
General Peckem even recommends that we send our men into combat in full-dress uniform so they'll make a good impression on the enemy when they're shot down"."
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war
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Joseph Heller |
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1c7ba67
|
I've flown over seventy goddam combat missions. Don't talk to me about fighting to save my country. I've been fighting all along to save my country. Now I'm going to fight a little to save myself. The country's not in danger any more, but I am.
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Joseph Heller |
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01b5c9e
|
You know, one good apple can spoil the rest," Colonel Korn concluded with conscious irony."
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irony
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Joseph Heller |
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2406567
|
He could not make them shut-up; they were worse than women. They had not brains enough to be introverted and repressed.
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Joseph Heller |
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21d7efb
|
Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about nothing in his power to help him.
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Joseph Heller |
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fd9ef41
|
Man was matter. Drop him out of a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage.
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Joseph Heller |