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5343c23
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It's a talent I've developed-one thing I've learned recently. How to think nothing. Here's the trick: don't have any interest in the world around you, don't have any hope for the future, and be warm
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Ned Vizzini |
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8735e32
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I lie there thinking about how everything I've done is a failure, death and failure, and there's no hope for me except being homeless, because I'm never going to be able to hold a job because everyone else is so much smarter.
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Ned Vizzini |
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c6dc90d
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Sometimes we call those girls sluts. Do you think she had a boyfriend when she was eight?
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Ned Vizzini |
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06384a7
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I don't have time." Silly. You always have time."
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Ned Vizzini It's kind of a Funny Story |
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207162e
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We tend to have things a little bit easier than girls. And we tend to assume therefore that the world was built for us, and that we're, you know, the culmination of everything that came before us. And then we get told that having a little bit of this attitude is called balls, and that balls are good, and we kind of take it from there
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Ned Vizzini |
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cbadb07
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You are blessed with a good mind. You just have to have confidence in it and talk when people call on you.
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Ned Vizzini |
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cbfe71e
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pro scienta atque sapienta-Latin- for science and wisdom It's a Darwinian popularity contest. at all times, the question on everyone's mind is, "who's coolest?" Do you want the Spanish Inquisition in here? you better start acting with a little sobriety, or your mother is going to put two and two together"
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Ned Vizzini |
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66f2bdb
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When I was a kid I read these books, the Redwall books, fantasy books about a bunch of warrior mice, and the mice had this war cry that I always thought was coo: 'Eulalia.' And like an idiot that's what I yelled off the Brooklyn Bridge: 'Eulaliaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!' And I could have died right then. And considering how things went, I really should have.
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Ned Vizzini |
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2524176
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A working brain is probably a lot like a map, where anybody can get from one place to another on the freeways.
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Ned Vizzini |
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1d7bc7d
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I'd feel wasted and burnt, having wasted my time and my body and my energy and y words and my soul.
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Ned Vizzini |
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5e423d2
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I feel it in my pocket. I don't want to lose it. It's one of the only things that's making me me right now. Without my cell phone, who will I be? I won't have any friends because I don't have their numbers memorized. I'll barely have a family since I don't know their cell phone numbers, just their home line. I'll be like an animal.
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Ned Vizzini |
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7e7c93b
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Travel. Fly. Swim. Meet. Love. Dance. Win. Smile. Laugh. Hold. Walk. Skip. Ski. Sled. Play basketball. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy. Enjoy. Take these verbs and enjoy them.
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Ned Vizzini |
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39006c8
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That's worst than gonerreha, man!
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Ned Vizzini |
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fa71bd6
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I wish I was Dumbo the Octopus. Adapted to freezing deep-ocean temperatures, I'd flop around down there at peace. The big concerns of my life would be what sort of bottom-coating slime to feed off of--that's not so different from now--plus I wouldn't have any natural predators; then again, I don't have any now, and that hasn't done me a whole lot of good. But it suddenly makes sense: I'd like to be under the sea, as an octopus.
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Ned Vizzini |
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ebe84cd
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So when I ran out of the final bottle of Zoloft, I didn't take any more. I didn't call Dr. Barney either. I just threw the bottle away and said Okay, if I ever feel bad again, I'll remember how good I felt that night on the Brooklyn Bridge. Pills were for wimps, and this was over; I was done; I was back to me.
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Ned Vizzini |
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344189f
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What's a triumph is that you woke up this morning and decided to live. That's a triumph.
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young-adult
depression-recovery
mental-health
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Ned Vizzini |
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5264d89
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So you're just going to give up? That's the plan.
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Ned Vizzini |
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c0463fe
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I click END. I think it's a little harsh how the END button is red.
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Ned Vizzini |
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eeb3c45
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Rudy is a mutt; my father says he's a cross between a chihuahua and a German shepherd, which must've been some wild dog sex.
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Ned Vizzini |
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60e58b3
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We wear our problems differently.
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Ned Vizzini |
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050450a
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You lose one friend, you pick up another.
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Ned Vizzini |
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902d55b
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then I decided I didn't want any regrets. I'm done with those; regrets are an excuse for people who have failed.
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Ned Vizzini |
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9cb9771
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The wall is home base. The wall won't move. If I stand at the wall, I won't be expected to move. This is what it means to be a wallflower. Now I understand.
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Ned Vizzini |
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706690e
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Why are you bothering? You've got an excuse. You've got bad blood. You must like living; I guess I would if I were you.
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Ned Vizzini |
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a9d9024
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Don't kill yourself, okay?
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Ned Vizzini |
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08cf873
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You have a chemical imbalance, that is all. If you were a diabetic, would you be ashamed
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Ned Vizzini |
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baea14e
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Hold on a second. I can talk,' I say. 'Guys.' I look at all three of them in turn. 'One thing that they do in here is give you a lot of time to think. I can't explain it; once you come in, time just slows down-' 'Well, you don't have any interruptions, that's probably it-' 'Also I think the clocks are a little off-' I wave my hand. 'Point is, you have time to think about how you got here...
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Ned Vizzini |
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6df42a4
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But you know what, it's time for me to stop putting other people's emotions ahead of my own. It's time for me to be true to myself, like the popstars say. And my true self wants to blast off this rock.
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Ned Vizzini |
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431557d
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I wish the world were like this, if I just woke up and marked the food I'd be eating and it came to me later in the day. I suppose it is like that, except you have to pay for whatever you want to eat, so maybe what I'm asking for is communism, but I think it's actually deeper than communism--I'm asking for simplicity, for purity and ease of choice and no pressure. I'm asking for something that no politics is going to provide, something that..
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Ned Vizzini |
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a048ce7
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Here in the real world, all equals are created animal, but some are more animal than others.
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Ned Vizzini |
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e3e030a
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Maybe it was stupid and solipsistic, but I liked to think about me. I didn't want to be part of some trend.
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Ned Vizzini |
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038ce3f
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When you mess something up, you learn for the next time.
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life-and-living
life
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Ned Vizzini |
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0b7971f
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Sometimes I just think depression's one way of coping with the world.
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Ned Vizzini |
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13c3f09
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I raise my wrist, show him the bracelets. I have pride in them now. They're true, and people can't screw with them. And when you say the truth you get stronger.
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Ned Vizzini |
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d95f414
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in my life is all in my brain, really, so it would be natural that when my brain was screwed up, everything in my life would be.
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Ned Vizzini |
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96c0ad8
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If you can't get out of bed for long enough, people come and take your bed away.
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Ned Vizzini |
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bc9d644
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Like I'm on the verge of just blowing up. All the stress and pressure and anxiety just bubbling up.
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stress
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Ned Vizzini |
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b7e1657
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See, because being Cool is obviously the most important thing on earth. It's more important than getting a job, or having a girlfriend, or political power, or money, because all those things are predicated by Coolness.
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Ned Vizzini |
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54dcac9
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It's not a mental complaint-it's a physical thing, like it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. ... you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet.
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Ned Vizzini |
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59f8f03
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SUICIDAL IDEATION. That would be a good band name, I think.
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Ned Vizzini |
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e645f53
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I shrug. I don't really need to explain this to Aaron. He's been demoted from most important friend to friend, and he's going to have to earn that, even. And you know what else? I don't owe people anything, and I don't have to talk to them any more than I feel I need to.
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friends
friendship
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Ned Vizzini |
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b2baf44
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Yeah, and she's really screwed up, as screwed up as me, but I don't look at that as an insult. I look at that as a chance to connect.
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Ned Vizzini |
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0b1ed24
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one quarter of your life is spent as a minor; you might as well make the best of it.
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Ned Vizzini |
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160a027
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Forget the midlife crisis," I say. "It's all about the sixth-life crisis."
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Ned Vizzini |