fbc203c
|
That's funny. I've always liked Naomi's version of me the best. I'm always much more interesting when she talks about me.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
e46bb25
|
What did it say about me that he hadn't? That he couldn't possibly like me as much as I'd started to like him. That I would never be as pretty and interesting as that Sofia girl, while Dash's handsome face would continue to appear in my daydreams. Unrequited. It wasn't fair that I sort of missed him. Not his presence so much--I barely knew him--but having that red notebook link to him. Knowing he was out there thinking or doing something th..
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
69ad6bb
|
I'm sorry," she said. And it was like a faucet had been turned, and only one sentiment could come gushing out. "I'm so sorry. Oh my God, I can't believe how sorry I am. I didn't mean to drop it, Dash. And I didn't mean--I mean, I'm just so sorry. I didn't think you were going to be there. I was just there. And, God, I am so sorry. I am really, really sorry. If you want to get out of the cab right this minute, I will completely understand. I..
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
0aa4999
|
One of the failures of cellular communication is that tiredness often comes across as sadness. But I appreciate your concern.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
cf574fb
|
I wanted to go home to the safety of my bed and to my stuffed animals and to my people I'd known my whole life. I had nothing to say to anybody, and fervently prayed that no one there would have anything to say to me.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
1096e9f
|
Snarl had infiltrated my subconscious. The dream was obviously a sign: he was too enticing to resist.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
84cf8c2
|
Prayer or not, I want to believe that, despite all evidence to the contrary, it is possible for anyone to find that one special person. That person to spend Christmas with or grow old with or just take a nice silly walk in Central Park with.
|
|
fiction
romance
|
Rachel Cohn and David Levithan |
226fd45
|
I volunteer to be the comfort of the in-between.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
825bca9
|
It's a total lie to say there's only one person you're going to be with for the rest of your life. If you're lucky--and if you try really hard--there will always be more than one.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
a348943
|
There's no way for me to know she'll find me here. I didn't call. I didn't text. I left it up to old connection, that old friendship sense.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
decfd43
|
Someone should pay for their sins. I'll show you Awful, humans. I can't even see what I'm doing. All I know is rage, and panic, and darkness.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
c46eb58
|
What I mean," Sofia said, "is that when people say right person, wrong time, or wrong person, right time, it's usually a cop-out. They think that fate is playing with them. That we're all just participants in this romantic reality show that God gets a kick out of watching. But the universe doesn't decide what's right or not right. You do. Yes, you can theorize until you're blue in the face whether something might have worked at another time..
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
edaa93c
|
At last I had it--the Christmas present I'd wanted all along, but hadn't realized. His words.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
29ebc86
|
We were people, and people had ways of finding each other.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
d2ee3b6
|
It's always the ones who believe who are hurt the most when things go wrong. She
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
d0873b8
|
It's moments like this, when you need someone the most, that your world seems smallest.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
d9e75dd
|
But love needs to have a future. And Sofia and I don't have a future. We've just had a good time sharing the present, that's all.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
29ab4f1
|
Our love had been liking; our feelings had been ordinary, not Shakespearean. I still felt fondness for her--fondness, that pleasant, detached mix of admiration and sentiment, appreciation and nostalgia.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
2907e6f
|
Dash believed in magic. Dash loved Christmas. Dash loved me!
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
ac7c0d2
|
We've already established my position on dillying and dallying, which right now is chaste with a chance for inveterate lust, depending on the ripeness of our first interactions.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
7357e6d
|
People come to New York to be different,
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
2fc8011
|
She smells like marijuana smoke. It's not a bad smell. Just a sad one.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
f86a364
|
We all just took the bookstore at its word, because if you couldn't trust a bookstore, what could you trust?
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
4a61f8e
|
It is not easy. Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you're friends is easy. Being friends is not.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
7148bcf
|
But it kept being out there, and the thing was, even though I really liked her as a person, I didn't really think I liked her as a girl, because when you like a girl, there's this ignition--you can feel it--and with her, there wasn't any ignition, just conversation and hanging out and shit.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
cea4467
|
It's a paradox, isn't it? The people you know the most, the people you love the most-you're also going to feel the parts of them you don't know the most
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
3ba3bdf
|
The incidental fact of his straightness doesn't mean I want to be NoMo's five-minute girlfriend, like I'm some 7-Eleven quick stop on his slut train.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
4f18bcc
|
From behind I don't see Caroline but I do that stupid bitch, Tris, rhymes with bris, cuz that's what she'll do to a guy, rip apart his piece.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
2f1d9bf
|
That bitch should not be in a club like this. As if her language is not enough indication, there is also the matter of her Hot Topic mallrat outfit: short black leather skirt with buckles up the side, mass-produced "vintage" Ramones T-shirt, and piss-yellow leggings with some horrible pair of pink patent-leather shoes. She looks like a neon sign bumblebee by way of early Debbie Harry rip-off."
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
82c0b38
|
Nick is right, the Olsen twins do have a worrisome co-dependent relationship. I understand those bitches, though, I really do.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
77e6fbb
|
I have to figure, with this many stops and starts, surely this train will pull out of the station eventually. What's the big fucking rush?
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
7eece4c
|
Just because a person is beautiful doesn't mean there's no soul beneath. Doesn
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
3bc55f2
|
You need a boyfriend." Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? But ealistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one. I go to an all- girls school, and meaning no disrespect to my sapphic sisters, but I have no interest in nding a romantic companion there. The rare boy creatures I do meet who aren't either related to me or who aren't gay are usually too at ached to their Xboxes to notice me, or their idea of ..
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
b98cbaa
|
The more he gives me, the more I want.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
e4e55bc
|
Know what the best thing your true love can give you is?" I asked him. "What?" said Dash. "True love."
|
|
true-love
love
dash-and-lily
twelve-days-of-christmas
otp
|
Rachel Cohn |
c276b5c
|
The girl is dressed in a flannel shirt, and I can't tell whether that's because she's trying to bring back the only fashion style of the past fifty years that hasn't been brought back or whether it's because the shirt is as damn comfortable as it looks.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
7bbb16a
|
How can you not be concerned that I might have cancer?" I ask. "I found a lump on my breast." Touch it, Ely. Touch it. "Lie. Not only are you biting your lip, which you always do when you lie, but your mom told me about the alleged lump in the elevator this morning. The doctor said it was an overgrown pimple." Monkeys!"
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
8b94a5e
|
The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
2e8b1d7
|
Children frighten me. I mean, I appreciate them on a cute aesthetic level, but they're very demanding and unreasonable creatures and often smell funny.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
482550c
|
I am stronger than words and bigger than the box I'm in, and then I see her in the crowd and I fall apart.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
369a2fd
|
He pauses a moment to reflect on the F-word. 'Sometimes I think it's an idea that enslaves us. We're never free from hungering for the notion that we can even have freedom. When perhaps it's the very idea of it that causes us to suffer.
|
|
suffering
individuality
|
Rachel Cohn |
22bac3f
|
Sometimes you make plans. Sometimes plans make themselves.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
5255d68
|
It's like nothing else exists in the world right now except him, me, touching, exploring, longing, needing, sharing, having. So much for my straight-edge vow, because I am drunk on our ing's.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |
802ad94
|
I start to lose consciousness, and only desperation and fear keep my heart pounding, hard. Darkness descends, as Awful rises. Ivan has no idea what's coming. Neither do I. Last time I did not fight hard enough. This time, I will.
|
|
|
Rachel Cohn |