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e59ed7c
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My hands were starting to shake a little. Because I hadn't known that I knew these things. Just having a notebook to write them in, and having someone to write them to, made them all rise to the surface.
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Rachel Cohn |
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cacc930
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Driver, can you tell him that I'm sorry? I wasn't supposed to be like this. I swear.
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Rachel Cohn |
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c74fa38
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There was the other part of it, too--the I want to believe there is a somebody out there just for me. I want to believe that I exist to be there for that somebody. That was, I had to admit, less a concern to me. Because the rest of it seemed so much bigger. But I still had enough longing for that concept that I didn't want to dispel it completely. Meaning: I didn't want to tell Lily that I felt we'd all been duped by Plato and the idea of a..
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Rachel Cohn |
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d3729a3
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I KNOW! Your name is Beckham, isn't it?
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Rachel Cohn |
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b02654d
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The world was too full of wastrels and waifs, sycophants and spies--all of whom put words to the wrong use, who made everything that was said or written suspect.
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Rachel Cohn |
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cbbec25
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I think it's time to experience life outside the notebook.
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Rachel Cohn |
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82021f9
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Perhaps this was what was so unnerving about Lily at this moment--the trust that was required in what we were doing.
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Rachel Cohn |
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208296b
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I made the mistake of turning back to look at her one last time before I left the room. It was heartbreaking, really--she just sat there, stunned. She looked like she was waking up in a strange place--only she knew she hadn't gone to sleep yet, and that this was actually life.
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Rachel Cohn |
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6fae519
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We hadn't vowed to write every day, and we hadn't written every day. We hadn't sworn to be true to each other, because there hadn't been much to be true to.
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Rachel Cohn |
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e194500
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The whole thing was silly," I said. "Please tell her there's no need to apologize. We set ourselves up for this. I was never going to be the guy in her head. And she was never going to be the girl in mine. And that's okay. Seriously."
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Rachel Cohn |
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f5aa31d
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Because I don't want to," I said. "Not because of the way she is now--I know that's not what she's like. There was no way it was going to be as easy as the notebook. I get that now."
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Rachel Cohn |
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da3b619
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I'd always hoped but never believed that I could have such an adventure on my own. That I could own it. And love it. But it had happened. The notebook had made it so.
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Rachel Cohn |
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22f5efe
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I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, they sang.
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Rachel Cohn |
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684d16d
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Let's make plans," I ventured. And Sofia smiled and said, "No, let's leave it to chance."
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Rachel Cohn |
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123c8f1
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Why do girls always fall for guys with the attention span of drosophila?
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Rachel Cohn |
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854e6b7
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But I couldn't concentrate on writing in the notebook. I wanted to live inside it, not write in it.
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Rachel Cohn |
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23d947a
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But, you see, that's the luxury of being a lout--you get to be selective about when you care and when you don't. The rest of us get stuck when your care goes shallow.
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Rachel Cohn |
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38db62b
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She told me if I clean all the ashes out of the grate, then I'll be able to help my sisters get ready for the ball.
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Rachel Cohn |
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d50f594
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It is possibly true what Grandpa's buddies have repeatedly told me: Teenage boys cannot be trusted. Their intentions are not pure.
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Rachel Cohn |
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f0d1652
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I turned to find Priya, this girl from my school, somewhere between a friend and acquaintance--a frequaintance, as it were.
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Rachel Cohn |
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f795f50
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He sold the business but kept the corner block building,
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Rachel Cohn |
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c53e880
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So even though it doesn't seem like anything's changed--" "--things change all the time, mostly in little ways. That's how it goes, I guess."
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Rachel Cohn |
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85ebfe2
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There are just lots of possibilities in the world, I've decided. Dash. Boris. I need to keep my mind open for what could happen and not decide that the world is hopeless if what I want to happen doesn't happen. Because something else great might happen in between.
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Rachel Cohn |
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e5dbd7d
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Many years ago, he owned a neighborhood family grocery store on Avenue A in the East Village.
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Rachel Cohn |
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327b12b
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Of course you want to get to know her. But at the same time, you want to feel like you already know her. That you will know her instantly. Such a fairy tale.
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Rachel Cohn |
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df20016
|
Game over," you say, and I don't know which I take more exception to--the fact that you say that it's over, or the fact that you say it's a game. It's only over when one of us keeps the notebook for good. It's only a game if there is an absence of meaning. And we've already gone too far for that."
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Rachel Cohn |
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3d02d75
|
I don't think we should ever try to meet again; there's such freedom in that. Instead, let our words continue to meet. (See next postcard.)
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Rachel Cohn |
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d1cb260
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You don't know who Nicholas Sparks is?" Dash asked. I shook my head. "Please don't ever find out," he said."
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Rachel Cohn |
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b4bed04
|
I hope that global warming will go away. I hope that people won't be homeless. I hope that suffering will not exist. I want to believe that my hope is not in vain. I want to believe that even though I hope for things that are so magnanimous, I am not a bad person because what I really want to believe in is purely selfish. I want to believe there is somebody out there just for me. I want to believe that I exist to be there for that somebody.
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Rachel Cohn |
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82beb64
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I guess I'm nervous to be meeting you," Lily said at long last, eyes still closed. "Likewise," I assured her. "I find I very rarely live up to my words. And since you know me primarily through my words, there are oh so many ways I can disappoint."
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Rachel Cohn |
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a1c5abe
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That's because you're interpreting it the wrong way. I don't mean it as a wistful, overdramatic declaration. I meant that the love I felt for him was huge and real, and, while painful, it forever changed me as a person, in the same way that being your brother reflects and changes how I evolve, and vice versa. The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart,..
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Rachel Cohn |
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9547a50
|
Well, I've been corresponding with a complete stranger in a notebook, telling him my innermost feelings and thoughts and then blindly going to mystery places where he dares me to go....
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Rachel Cohn |
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d92e028
|
Ouch. Cursing--not so dashing.
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Rachel Cohn |
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4cf157a
|
It's definitely worth something," I said. "A lot. We still don't know each other, right? And I'll admit--I thought it might be best if we kept it all to the page, passed that notebook back and forth until we were ninety. But clearly that wasn't meant to be. And who am I to blow against the wind?"
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Rachel Cohn |
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8461843
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Their first date was at the symphony. How mean can a guy be who likes Mozart? I hope, at least.
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Rachel Cohn |
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36983c0
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I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That's what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have such a feeling that they can't hide. Every single successful love song of the past fifty years can be traced back to 'I ..
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Rachel Cohn |
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09b18a3
|
The way you're singing in your sleep The way you look before you leap The strange illusions that you keep You don't know But I'm noticing Fuck
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Rachel Cohn |
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9504a04
|
Are you over him?" I asked. We both knew the him I referred to was not Benny, but the him who broke Langston's heart so devastatingly. Langston's first love. "In some ways, I think I'll never be over him," Langston said. "That is such an unsatisfying answer." "That's because you're interpreting it the wrong way. I don't mean it as a wistful, overdramatic declaration. I meant that the love I felt for him was huge and real, and, while painful..
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Rachel Cohn |
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820b6bc
|
The important people in our lives leave imprints. They may stay or go in the physical realm, but they are always there in your heart, because they helped form your heart. There's no getting over that." My"
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Rachel Cohn |
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8e009b1
|
The way you're singing in your sleep The way you look before you leap The strange illusions that you keep You don't know But I'm noticing The way your touch turns into arcs The way you slide into the dark The beating of my open heart You don't know But I'm noticing And I'm moved, it's so beautiful.
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Rachel Cohn |
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fb5c08f
|
Memo to Merle Haggard: Miracles really do happen. I
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Rachel Cohn |
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0c572ac
|
Then again. Maybe the simple diagnosis of either hetero or homo is misleading. Maybe there's just sexuality, and it's bendable and unpredictable, like a circus performer,
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Rachel Cohn |
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2816dfe
|
It was about the feeling, you know? She caused it in me, but it wasn't about her. It was about my reaction, what I wanted to feel and then convinced myself that I felt, because I wanted it that bad. That illusion. It was love because I created it as love." Norah"
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Rachel Cohn |
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6d58146
|
You dueled?" Lily asked "Yes. And if we do it again, it will be-" "DON'T SAY IT!" Thibaud screamed. "-a dual duel," I completed, with satisfaction."
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Rachel Cohn |