|
a2bc53e
|
I know this is our honeymoon. But just sometimes, I wish Luke was a girl.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
7f58d19
|
Ciao," I say casually, and flick my hair back. "Si. Ciao." I could so be Italian. Except I might have to learn a few more words."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
5ac4ff1
|
Oh God. I'm losing it. Everyone knows this is how criminals get caught. They add too many details and trip themselves up.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
d820c41
|
I can't bring myself to move. Because as soon as I do, it will be time to be polite and matter-of-fact and back to normal. And I can't bear that. I want to stay here. In the place where we can say anything to each other. In the magic spell.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
2ce30eb
|
Oh, my God, you smiled! Mr. American Frown actually smiled!" "Must have been a mistake. I'll speak to someone about it. Won't happen again." "Well, good. Because you could do your face and injury, just smiling like that."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
4b2a2ce
|
I can never resist telling people good news. I mean, why not brighten someone else's life too?
|
|
true
good
people
day
good-news
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
0fcec80
|
Why can't parents dance? Is it some universal law of physics or something?
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
0b5a64a
|
what would Poirot do? Poirot wouldn't flap around in a panic. He'd stay calm and use his little grey cells and recall some tiny, vital detail which would be the clue to everything.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
3863441
|
It is absolutely what I think.' He looks deadly serious now. 'These academic guys have to feel important. They give papers and present TV programmes to show they're useful and valuable. But you do useful, valuable work every day. You don't need to prove anything. How many people have you treated? Hundreds. You've reduced their pain. You've made hundreds of people happier. Has Antony Tavish ever made anyone happier?
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
24c6bab
|
You never know how things are going to turn out, however much you plan.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
c35c739
|
Men who want to get married propose. You don't need to read the signs. They propose and that's the sign.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
6f2feb8
|
We're just... friends. No, doesn't feel right. Not colleagues either. Not really acquaintances... OK. Let's face it. It's weird.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
34421d2
|
There are some things I don't understand about Jess and never will. No wedding dress. No flowers. No photo album. No champagne. The only thing she got out of her wedding was a husband. (I mean, obviously the husband is the main point when you get married. Absolutely. That goes without saying. But still, not even a new pair of shoes?)
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
66d9570
|
Our eyes met in the math class. How were we to know that trigonometry would lead to matrimony?
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
e8bd974
|
I can do this, I tell myself firmly. I can be attracted to him. It's just a matter of self control and possibly also getting very drunk. So I lift my glass and take several huge gulps. I can feel the bubbles surging into my head, singing happily "I'm going to be a millionaire's wife! I'm going to be a millionaire's wife!" And when I look back at Tarquin, he already looks a bit more attractive. Alcohol is obviously going to be the key to our..
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
1a4d50b
|
I want him." "I'm sorry?" I peer at her, flicking my mobile open out of habit. "The man I just met. I felt it, right here. The sizzle." She presses her concave stomach. "I want to dance with him."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
cab64e1
|
Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine (He claimed it was a typo. Yeah, I'm sure his finger just happened to slip two spaces to the left).
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
ce403d0
|
Suddenly I've had enough of all this. I've had enough of being made to feel insecure and paranoid and wondering what's going on
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
9c5b64f
|
Oh, please. If she's going to use Mr. Darcy to prop up her arguments, I give up.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
128b4c4
|
If love is easy, you're not doing it right.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
d174de6
|
Six minutes isn't sex," I hear him
|
|
sex
nathaniel
samantha-sweeting
|
Sophie Kinsella The Undomestic Goddess |
|
880315d
|
The atmosphere in the admin department also seemed very false. My suspicions were aroused when two employees spontaneously started singing the Panther Corporation song. I didn't even know there was a Panther Corporation song.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
ee593f8
|
Have you ever shaken up a compass and seen the arrow whirling around, trying to find a place to settle?" says Alex abruptly. "Well, that's my brain. It's all over the place."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
5957978
|
Even when you think you have lost yourself, love can still find you.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
d737b94
|
The parents are in charge of all the stuff like technology in the house and time on screens and hours on social media, but then their computer goes wrong and they're like a baby, going, "What happened to my document?" "I can't get Facebook." "How do I load a picture? Double-click what? What does that mean?" And we have to sort it out for them."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
fca6ceb
|
I think a relationship is like two stories," I say at last, feeling my way cautiously through my thoughts. "Like...two open books, pressing together, and all the words mingle into one big, epic story. But if they stop mingling..." I lift my glass for emphasis. "Then they turn into two stories again. And that's when it's over." I clap my hands together, spilling champagne. "The books shut. The End." --
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
06a124f
|
We both gaze down at my swollen tummy for a while. I still can't quite get my head round the fact that there's a baby inside my body. Which has got to come out... somehow. OK, let's not go there. There's still time for them to invent something.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
157f130
|
If you're single, then I'm single?" What's that supposed to be? Lyrics to a pop song?"
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
f4b7efd
|
Um... yes," I say desperately. "I was just wondering... could we possible put it off for a little bit? Just a few minutes." Hilary's face freezes. "What?" she says at last. I have a dreadful feeling she's going to explode. "I feel a bit confused. I need more time to think..." I trail off at Hilary's expression. She comes toward me and brings her face very close to mine. She's still smiling, but her eyes are snapping and her nostrils fla..
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
205a885
|
Your job is obviously very pressured." "I thrive under pressure," I explain. Which is true. I've known that about myself ever since... Well. Ever since my mother told me when I was about 8."
|
|
stress
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
a553e7c
|
Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me.
|
|
story
people
love
eyes
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
b70a1c4
|
Yes, contractions can be intense,' Noura continues. 'But your bodies are designed to handle it. And what you must remember is, it's a positive pain. I'm sure you'll both agree?' She looks over at Mum and Janice. POSITIVE?' Janice looks up, horrified. 'Ooh, no, dear. Mine was agony. 24 hours in the cruel summer heat. I wouldn't wish it on any of you poor girls.' But there are natural methods you can use,' Noura puts in quickly. 'I'm sure you..
|
|
humor
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
c0b04b4
|
But I'm sick of this bloody jagged graph. You know, two steps up, one step down. It's so painful. It's so slow. It's like this endless game of snakes and ladders." And Mum just looked at me as if she wanted to laugh or maybe cry, and said, "But Audrey, that's what life is. We're all on a jagged graph. I know I am. Up a bit, down a bit. That's life."
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
46120b7
|
It's funny how life works like a seesaw: Some things go up while others plunge down.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
73d3b43
|
This is what's so annoying about going out with Luke. You can't get away with anything.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
d0bf8eb
|
You're working for me cut out the attitude.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
f65ab73
|
To be honest, going out with Ed after Josh is like moving on to Duchy Originals super-tasty seeded loaf after plastic white bread. (I don't mean to be rude about Josh. And I didn't realize it at the time. But it is. He is. Plastic white bread.)
|
|
relationships
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
f5c738e
|
When I was your age, if a boy behaved badly, one simply scored his name out from one's dance card. (Sadie Lancaster - to Lara Lington)
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
de03ba5
|
Christmas shopping! I can do all my Christmas shopping here! I know March is a bit early, but why not be organized? And then when Christmas arrives I won't have to go near the horrible Christmas crowds.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
2ee3a26
|
Je t'aime, Lottie. Plus qu'un zloty." I hesitate, not sure what to say. "Well, it's a start...." "'I love you, Lottie, More that a zloty'?" Lorcan translates incredulously. "Seriously?" "Lottie's a difficult rhyme!" Richard says defensively. "You try!" "You could have used 'potty,'" suggests Noah. "'I love you, Lottie, Sitting on the potty.'" "Thanks, Noah," says Richard grouchily. "Appreciate it."
|
|
wedding-night
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
bad8828
|
I feel a bit apprehensive as I see that he's looking directly at me. But I'm not doing anything wrong, am I? I mean, it's not like stalking is against the law. Oh. Well, OK, maybe stalking is against the law. But I've only been doing it for five minutes. Surely that doesn't count. And anyway, how does he know I'm stalking anyone? I might just be sitting here for my pleasure.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
00a2206
|
And anyway," I continue, lifting my head nobly, "who-ever it was, whether I knew them or not, if I could help them in some way, I would. I mean, if you can help, you have to help. Don't you think?"
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
2126715
|
Why on earth declutter when you can just shrinkwrap?
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |
|
2df066b
|
You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts.
|
|
|
Sophie Kinsella |