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d388fe5
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If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Gwen Goodnight" --
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Jennifer Crusie |
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bb20f4a
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Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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897a2ea
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I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.' What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min. That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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f1cf21f
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You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great, headbanging sex, get off the fucking phone and come with me.
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seduction
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Jennifer Crusie |
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08a87ea
|
Statistics show that men are interested in three things: careers, sports, and sex. That's why they love professional cheerleaders." Cal put down his fork "Well, that's sexist." "Yes i know," she said. "But it's true isn't it?" "What?" Cal tried to find his place in the conversation. "Oh, the sports and sex thing? Not at all. This is the twenty-first century. We've learned how to be sensitive." "You have?" "Sure," Cal said. "Otherwise we wou..
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Jennifer Crusie |
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d56a06e
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His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.
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politics
humor
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Jennifer Crusie |
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828c379
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It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way." "Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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f0c7b73
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Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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c3c4cf3
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You have to open up to the world and learn optimism...Contentment with the past, happiness with the present, and hope for the future. Learned optimisim.
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positive-thinking
optimism
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Jennifer Crusie |
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c0b39cb
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If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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dcd0023
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Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. "Emilio, my darling. I forgot to mention cake boxes. Two hundred cake boxes." "Already on it," Emilio said. "Nonna said you'd need them. She said to get four-inch-square boxes for three-inch-square cakes." "I'm getting the boxes," Min said, nodding. "Sure. Great. Fine. Your grandmother is an angel and you are my hero. And of course, a ge..
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humor
jennifer-crusie
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Jennifer Crusie |
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afd09e9
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That's a movie quote, right? You know, if you do that with books, people think you're intelligent." Sophie lowered her chin. "If this is your pathetic attempt to seduce me again, you're falling miserably." "I don't seduce woman." Phin shoved back his chair and stood up. "They fall into my open arms." "Clumsy of them."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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eca0402
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Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture
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Jennifer Crusie |
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27be86c
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What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf." "thats going to work out well for me," Cal said. "because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch."
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love
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Jennifer Crusie |
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dee910e
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I'll be right behind you" behind her? Thirty-two steps with him looking at her butt? "No, you wont." "Look, it's late, i'm tired, can we just-" "it'll be a cold day in hell when you follow me up those steps. You want to go up, you go first." "Why?" he said mystified "you're not looking at my rear end all the way up that hill." Cal sighed and took the first step. "wait a minute. Now you'll be looking at my butt all the way up the steps." "ye..
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Jennifer Crusie |
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fef1a3c
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Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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fcb1902
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Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.
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trouble
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Jennifer Crusie |
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60279dc
|
Any instructions?" Carpenter said. "Yeah," Shane said. "Shoot anybody who looks at Agnes funny. And anybody else you don't like. I'm getting tired of this shi*." "Somebody needs a hug," Carpenter said. "Humor," Shane said. "Har."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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a26e0e6
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When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.
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funny
goodnight
gwen
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Jennifer Crusie |
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472b2cd
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Nothing but good times ahead.
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inspirational
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Jennifer Crusie |
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702213b
|
It's not a problem. There are people out there with much worse problems than mine."-Cynthia "Doesn't make yours any more fun to bear."-Liza "No. But it does help with the self-pity."- Cynthia"
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personal-problems
perspective
pity
self-help
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Jennifer Crusie |
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bf7306b
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Your cat just got cat hair on me." "It's only fair," Min said. "Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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89bcbe5
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You've lived in America for twenty years. Eat badly, damn it.
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obesity
davy
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Jennifer Crusie |
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97d63b7
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This is making me crazy. I hate relying on other people to save me, I hate being clingy, I hate it, and every time you show up, I lean on you. - Matilda Scarlet Veronica Betty Vilma Goodnight
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Jennifer Crusie |
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71e1983
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I'm talkin' about you. Stop pretending you're normal. You're insane. Make that work for you.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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3eeeb89
|
Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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14aa063
|
Look, I'm not ready for you," Min said. "I'm not prepared. I don't have any defenses when you're around. I make these plans and I mean it, I really do, and then I kiss you because I'm crazy about you which would be fine if I didn't fall in love with you but there that is, just standing there, and you know it, you know you've got me."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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1534957
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If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space.
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sarcasm
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Jennifer Crusie |
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d8a61cc
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As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.
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men
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Jennifer Crusie |
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9dc51b2
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I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.
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sex
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Jennifer Crusie |
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72e91b5
|
It doesn't matter," Min said. "That's what I'm trying to tell you, it doesn't matter what you do or say. I'm going to love you till the end of time." Cal looked at her, stunned. "I know," Min said. "It's really un-PC. I just thought you should know that you can't screw this up." "I can't?" Cal said, wanting to believe her. "No," Min said. "Which doesn't mean I'm not going to tell if you make me mad again. I will shout and slam doors. I just..
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jennifer-crusie
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Jennifer Crusie |
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14087b0
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I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She would'nt do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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c9854b3
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She pushed him onto the couch and straddled him... Min swallowed "the thing is, im going to spread. Hips, thighs-" "Not till nine-thirty," Cal said trying not to picture her. "-waist," Min said then stopped. "What? nine-thirty? Not till my forties, probably, i think i can fight it off that long, but then-" "What?" Cal said. "Im going to get fat," Min said, and he blinked. "Er. Im going to get fatter." she frowned at him. "what did you think..
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Jennifer Crusie |
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7067b6e
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Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.
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gambling
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Jennifer Crusie |
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2926513
|
Bet you ten bucks we make it." What are the odds? she thought, and realized with sudden, blinding clarity that she wouldn't take the other side of that bet, that only a loser would bet against them. This is really it, she thought, amazed. This is really forever. I believe in this. "Min?" he said, and she kissed him, putting all her heart into it. "No bet," she said against his mouth. "Your odds are too good." "Our odds are too good"
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romance
humor
jennifer-crusie
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Jennifer Crusie |
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a8de611
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Say, 'Thank you, Phin.' " "Oh, please." "Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. " "I don't think so." "Say, 'You are a great lover, Phin.' " "I'm out of here."
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humour
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Jennifer Crusie |
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d7fa6de
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I'm gonna have to get my eyes checked. I can't see crap until it's right in front of me
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Jennifer Crusie |
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30c9aee
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He looked like every glossy frat boy in every nerd movie ever made, like every popular town boy who'd ever looked right through her in high school, like every rotten rich kid who'd ever belonged where she hadn't. My mama warned me about guys like you. He turned to her as if he'd heard her and took off his sunglasses, and she went down the steps to meet him, wiping her sweaty palms on her dust-smeared khaki shorts. "Hi, I'm Sophie Dempsey," ..
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crusie
comedy
romance-novels
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Jennifer Crusie |
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833bdb9
|
Very few people mate for life with the people they fall for at twelve. Doesn't mean is isn't real, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean it doesn't matter, but basically, we're talking a practice swing in the big game of love.
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Jennifer Crusie |
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3d123ed
|
no more pep talks about believing in toads," Liza said. "Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them?" Bonnie said. "Thats frogs," Liza Said. "Entirely different species."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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fe46772
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And why do you want to be near me?" Because you're all I can think about, day and night. I don't know what the hell is going on with us; I only know I can't get rid of it. I don't care if you're batshit insane and think you're the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I hear voices; you hear dogs. We'll work it out. Maybe get a discount on therapy."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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716275f
|
It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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b9bff99
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Say it," she said, and he said, "I love you. I'll always love you. Forever. It's a life sentence. Now put the damn ring on."
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Jennifer Crusie |
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2f42e82
|
I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She wouldn't do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end. Also people didn't do things like that in Southern Ohio. A sawed-off shotgun, that was the ticket.
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romance
crusie
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Jennifer Crusie |