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fd76736 "Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?" "Yes," said Harry stiffly. "Yes, sir." "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor." The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying." rebellion sarcasm J.K. Rowling
ab9e83c "Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking..." humor sarcasm J.K. Rowling
751864e "Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies." mummies jace-wayland werewolf zombies vampire joke sarcasm Cassandra Clare
ca394c5 "Why were you lurking under our window?" "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?" "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry." harry-potter humor news sarcasm J.K. Rowling
e857b74 "Don't tell me," Jace said, "Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something about it before Isabelle makes him into a stole. Well, you'll have have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission." He pointed at himself - he was wearing blue pajamas with a hole in the sleeve. "Look. Jammies." "Jace," Clary said, "this is important." "Don't tell me," he said. "You've got a drawing emergency. You need a nude model. Well, I'm not in the mood. You could always ask Hodge," he said as an afterthought. "I hear he'll do anything for a -" "JACE!" she interrupted him, her voice rising to a scream. "JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN, WILL YOU?" pijamas jace-wayland sarcasm Cassandra Clare
7b8d542 "I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them." "Unfortunately," said Hodge, "we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing." revenge humor hodge tea sarcasm Cassandra Clare
901968a A diary with no drawings of me in it? Where are the torrid fantasies? The romance covers? humor jace-wayland diary sarcasm Cassandra Clare
a535246 "Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?" Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt." humor dirt city-of-ashes isabelle-lightwood clean sarcasm Cassandra Clare
1fc6961 "Sebastian just smiled. "I could hear your heart beating," he said softly. "When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?" "That you seem to be dating my dad?" Jace shrugged. "You're a little young for him, to be honest." "What?" For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted." valentine-morgenstern jace-wayland sebastian realization sarcasm Cassandra Clare
1dc3227 Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep. smartass impudence sarcasm Jim Butcher
55fc75c It's fascinating. You know all these words, and they're all English, but when you string them together into sentences, they just don't make any sense. humor jace-lightwood sarcasm Cassandra Clare
a0e1319 I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. imogen-herondale impudence rebelliousness jace-wayland sarcasm obedience Cassandra Clare
908e8cd "By the Angel," Jace said, looking the demon up and down. "I knew Greater Demons were meant to be ugly, but no one ever warned me about the smell." Abbadon opened its mouth and hissed. Inside its mouth were two rows of jagged glass-sharp teeth. "I'm not sure about this wind and howling darkness business," Jace went on, "smells more like landfill to me. You sure you're not from Staten Island?" humor taunting jace-wayland demon teasing fearlessness sarcasm Cassandra Clare
88d36fb "I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?" "Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple." "But...you did something nice. Why?" He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?" madness humor nice percy-jackson sarcasm Rick Riordan
8729670 This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. relationships sarcasm Lorrie Moore
9662f09 While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way. humour will-herondale sarcasm Cassandra Clare
ea6b772 "You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king." humor dwarfs tyrion-lannister jon-snow king sarcasm George R.R. Martin
38c750a "It's sarcasm, Josh." "Sarcasm?" "It's from the Greek, sarkasmos. To bite the lips. It means that you aren't really saying what you mean, but people will get your point. I invented it, Bartholomew named it." "Well, if the village idiot named it, I'm sure it's a good thing." "There you go, you got it." "Got what?" "Sarcasm." "No, I meant it." "Sure you did." "Is that sarcasm?" "Irony, I think." "What's the difference?" "I haven't the slightest idea." "So you're being ironic now, right?" "No, I really don't know." "Maybe you should ask the idiot." "Now you've got it." "What?" "Sarcasm." irony sarcasm Christopher Moore
4536aaa I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. sarcastic sarcasm J.D. Salinger
c6460fe "That seems like stealing, doesn't it?" Simon pulled a cup toward him. He drew the lid back. "Ooh. Mochaccino." He looked at Magnus. "Did you pay for these?" "Sure," said Magnus, while Jace and Alec snickered. "I make dollar bills magically appear in their cash register." "Really?" "No." Magnus popped the lid off his own coffee. "But you can pretend I did if it makes you feel better. So, first order of business is what?" simon-lewis sarcasm Cassandra Clare
575bd5d "I don't profess any religion; I don't think it's possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words 'spiritual' or 'spirituality.' understanding writing spirituality spiritual difficulty possibility atheist sarcasm Philip Pullman
320044b "Festus just detected a large group of eagles behind us--long-range radar, still not in sight." Piper leaned over the console. "Are you sure they're Roman?" Leo rolled his eyes. "No, Pipes. It could be a random group of giant eagles flying in perfect formation. Of course they're Roman!" piper-mclean percy-jackson-and-the-olympians the-mark-of-athena the-heroes-of-olympus leo-valdez sarcasm Rick Riordan
936320c "The first time Calypso came to check on [Leo], it was to complain about the noise. "Smoke and fire," she said. "Clanging on metal all day long. You're scaring away the birds!" "Oh, no, not the birds!" leo-valdez sarcasm Rick Riordan
93ef1c5 I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. humor intelligibility expression sarcasm Jane Austen
34a8be4 That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm. sarcasm Christopher Moore
45cd6d4 "Hey, Carlos," the Professor says when he walks in. "How was REACH?" "It sucked." "Can you be more specific?" my guardian asks. "It really sucked," I elaborate, sarcasm dripping from every word." humor perfect-chemistry sarcasm Simone Elkeles
f5dc1a3 "I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way..." "Yes, they do that," said Dumbledore." -- humor order-of-the-phoenix malfoy sarcasm J.K. Rowling
9173706 "What is your advice to young writers?" "Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes." irony sex writing funny humor bukowski smoke alcohol cigarettes authors ironic writing-process drink writers sarcasm Charles Bukowski
27ad477 "Thinking I'm a moron gives people something to feel smug about," Charles Wallace said. "Why should I disillusion them?" -- sarcasm Madeleine L'Engle
9e6741b Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked? Jace: I was following you. Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me? love jace-lightwood simon-lewis sarcasm Cassandra Clare
fdb1743 Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse. marriage humor love lack-of-feeling lovelessness married-life matrimony sarcasm P.G. Wodehouse
8e227bc "... We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles." "That's not precisely true, is it?" said a velvety voice. It was Magnus Bane, wearing a long and glittering coat, multiple hoops in his ears, and a roguish expression. Clary had no idea where he'd come from. "You lot have used the help of warlocks on more than one occasion in the past, and paid handsomely for it too." Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down." malachi magnus-bane luke sarcasm Cassandra Clare
8af6c58 "How are you feeling?" I leaned away from him. "Gross." Aiden frowned. "Gross?" "I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me." He laughed. "Alex, come on." "Seriously, I'm gross." I put my hand over my mouth. Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. "You're as beautiful as always, Alex." I stared at him. He must not get out much." funny humor alex sarcasm Jennifer L. Armentrout
075fc68 "Then why are you here?" Emma demanded. "Oh, is this one of those missed-connections things? We met the other night, you felt a spark? Sorry, but I don't date trees." "I am not a tree." Iarlath looked angry, his bark peeling slightly." sassiness sarcasm Cassandra Clare
b3f5041 I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. humor ferro sarcasm harry-dresden Jim Butcher
b75532e "Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye." tell-off wit sarcasm J.K. Rowling
9f42187 "The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. "Nice knife." The voice was deep but female. I threw my second knife. The blade bit into the mage's chest. Shit. Missed the neck. "Here, have another one." kate fight sarcasm Ilona Andrews
7e09a91 "Listen, Peaches, is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them." politics humor voting trickery sarcasm Terry Pratchett
d81ec44 "Give me a few minutes." "You have time." He sat in the grass. "Are you just going to sit there and watch me?" "Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best." "Peasant?" He shrugged. "You started the name calling." flirting sarcasm Ilona Andrews
8c648ef "The Death Mist is not for helping!" Akhlys shrieked. "It shrouds mortals in misery as their souls pass into the Underworld. It is the very breath of Tartarus, of death, of despair!" "Awesome," Percy said. "Could we get two orders of that to go?" percy-jackson sarcasm Rick Riordan
b6dbab0 Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything. Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it. money old imagine know young sarcasm Oscar Wilde
a7d17d6 "We had and incident. I took care of it." "Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know how to use that knife, Clarissa? Without poking a hole in yourself or any innocent bystanders?" jace mortal-instruments sarcasm Cassandra Clare
1cc6b67 Thomas was an annoying wiseass who tended to make everyone he met want to kill him, and when I have that much in common with someone, I can't help but like him a little. sarcasm harry-dresden Jim Butcher
2217188 "Amy, Dan, and Nellie were sitting at a table in a conference room, examining reproductions of Franklin documents-some so rare, the librarians told her, the only copies existed in Paris. "Yeah, here's a rare grocery list," Dan muttered. "Wow." humor cahill rare sarcasm Rick Riordan
7c2ee03 By the way, if you get mad at your Mac laptop and wonder who designed this demonic device, notice the manufacturer's icon on top: an apple with a bite out of it. christianity spirituality bible humor philosophy apple-computer-inc forbidden-fruit garden-of-eden macintosh original-sin jesus-shock old-testament laptop apple steve-jobs mac catholicism theology genesis sarcasm peter kreeft
e96d5b6 Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks. cars sarcasm Stephenie Meyer
c3cc234 Sarcasm will make your tits fall off. gullibility sarcasm Christopher Moore
acdcdc2 "Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson" knitting smoking sarcasm Audrey Niffenegger
db95b07 I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care. sarcasm Maureen Johnson
09fc36d One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble. sarcasm Terry Pratchett
de7bee1 Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women. It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it. escape women humor eve paradise sarcasm Oscar Wilde
251b118 "Is this the girl?" Kieran's voice was very different: It sounded like waves sliding up the shore. Like warm water under pale light. It was seductive, with an edge of cold. He looked at Emma as if she were a new kind of flower, one he wasn't sure he liked. "She's pretty," he said. "I didn't think she'd be pretty. You didn't mention it." Iarlath shrugged. "You've always been partial to blondes," he said. "Okay, seriously?" Emma snapped her fingers. "I am right here. And I was not aware I was being invited to a game of 'Who's the Hottest?'" I wasn't aware you were invited at all," said Kieran. His speech had a casual edge, as if he was used to talking to humans. "Rude," said Emma." sassy sarcasm Cassandra Clare
899b96c "... As could the sarcasm in her voice. "yes, she's bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out." isabelle-lightwood sarcasm Cassandra Clare
19b4db7 "I thought you were a drunk." "A drunk?" "Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover... what else was I to think?" He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead." sarcasm Linda Howard
7cf7075 "I wanted to wake you straightaway, but I knew I had to wait several hours to ensure you were safely recovered." "What! How long has it been?" "Five minutes. I got bored." humor waking-up nathaniel-hawthorne safety sarcasm Jonathan Stroud
b0ea433 He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory? sarcasm police John Green
87f09f3 "Just so you know, I get incredibly bored quite easily and you will be forced to be my source of entertainment. You'll kind of be like my own personal jester." I flipped him off. "Well that wasn't funny at all." funny deacon sarcasm Jennifer L. Armentrout
119a9a0 "The earl shook his head, exhibiting a degree of frosty offense that could only be achieved by an aristocrat whose wishes had just been gainsaid. "I've never heard of a man being so eager to confess to the parent of a girl he's just ruined," he said sourly." marcus simon sarcasm Lisa Kleypas
be99363 "Sam gave Captain Suicide a droll stare. "How did you die again? Oh wait, I know this. 'I can take 'em. I don't need to wait for reinforcements. I can do it myself.' How'd that work out for you again?" sarcasm Sherrilyn Kenyon
5fe2c7f "Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore." Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek." humor johnnie-marcone sarcasm Jim Butcher
485f59e "Where did you live before you came here?" I asked. "The moon," he said smoothly. "We left because the place had no atmosphere." the-impossible-knife-of-memory sass sarcasm Laurie Halse Anderson
87a1804 Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose. lying lies humor truth sarcasm Chuck Klosterman
542dda1 Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me. God I hated being popular. sarcasm vampires Laurell K. Hamilton
3b175d8 I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife. love gatsby funny-quotes tom sarcasm F. Scott Fitzgerald
1534957 If you are not going to be a comfort, have the decency to be an empty space. sarcasm Jennifer Crusie
692f85c "I forgot my purse of laughter when I dressed this mornin'," she told me. "Have you not bought anythin' the last few days? Prices have gone up. Pay or starve, it's all one to me." humorous-comebacks seller inflation sarcasm Tamora Pierce
b52c6be Aww, did we masturbate through the tears last night? sarcasm Kresley Cole
cb767f6 "Maybe," he said in a slow, rural drawl, "you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy." "Well," I said, "if you're going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn't it." humor orgy sarcasm Jim Butcher
59114ea As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped. the-last-olympian percy-jackson percy-jackson-and-the-olympians soul sarcasm Rick Riordan
dbb920d The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous. sarcasm Charles Dickens
14e2e1d "He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me 'Little Pecker' while you're at it and tell me you would love to have me go shopping with you for feminine hygiene products. Oh and by all means, carry a big, sparkling pink bag with flowers on it and make me hold it." sarcasm Sherrilyn Kenyon
bb80bde You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny. sarcasm Cecelia Ahern
6ff0378 "Not that I knew who you were until last month. But now that I've got you, I'm not letting you go." "You're not?" Blake stared at her in irritated confusion. What was her game? "Do you think I'm an idiot?" he spat out. "No," she said. "I've just escaped from a den of idiots, so I'm well familiar with the breed, and you're something else entirely. I am, however, hoping you're not a terribly good shot." romance idiocy sarcasm Julia Quinn
e44960f "Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me there. Bring with you a jemmy, a dark lantern, a chisel, and a revolver. S. H." It was a nice equipment for a respectable citizen to carry through the dim, fog-draped streets." sherlock-holmes sarcasm Arthur Conan Doyle
c89acc1 What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage. irony marriage women empowerment love disharmony subjection discord matrimony storytelling inequality gender courtship sarcasm Charlotte Brontë
d069fd9 "Eragon went to see the dragon for the first time since it had spoken to him. He approached apprehensively, aware now that it was an equal. "Eragon." "Is that all you can say?" he snapped. "Yes." His eyes widened at the unexpected reply, and he sat down roughly. " talk the-inheritance saphira eragon dragon sarcasm Christopher Paolini
253343e If you wish, I shall go personally to your City and knock together the heads of Perlith and Galooney. luthe sarcasm Robin McKinley
2522c54 "I'm working from the assumption it's going to go horribly wrong. If we get out of here with limbs intact and no aspen slivers in uncomfortable places, we're calling it a win." Merit/Jonah" sarcasm Chloe Neill
9fa46a2 There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters superior husband sarcasm Philip K. Dick
5297ee4 Since I've moved here, you have shown up at my door eight times. I obey the laws, I pay my taxes, and I haven't even gotten a parking ticket in my entire time as a driver. Yet if anything at all happens in the neighborhood, you appear at my door. I bet if a meteorite fell somewhere in the subdivision, you would be here asking me if I personally launched it out of my doomsday cannon. humour nosy-officers doomsday sarcasm Ilona Andrews
6eba5b2 ..her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a scratch lurking in it. smile sarcasm Henry James
fe09f7a Where do you come up with these zingers, Clint? Do you own some kind of joke factory in Indonesia where you've got eight-year-olds working ninety hours a week to deliver you that kind of top-quality witticism? There are boy bands with more original material. sarcasm John Green
d86bd00 Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study? sarcasm Robert A. Heinlein
295709a "How can she create with all your negative energy?" "Yeah, man. You're bringing us down." "This is about as low as it gets," Ariel said. "Where did you get those ridiculous black berets?" Moth adjusted his recently donned beatnik attire. "This is what the hip cats wear , daddy-o." "Can you dig it?" Cobweb stroked a few wisps of fake chin hair, while the others nodded and snapped their fingers." sarcasm Lisa Mantchev
330b718 The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head. sarcasm-humor sarcasm Eoin Colfer
95ffab7 Every person you meet is waging his or her own war against a callous universe that is plotting against them. sarcasm Sherrilyn Kenyon
c2cd724 "You seem to know a lot about it," she said. "And you do subtleties." "Yeah. Like I've always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide." "Well, there's no need to be rude," protested Sif." humour loki sarcasm Joanne Harris
9a5880f It's kind of depressing, if you think about it. I mean, me being so young, and yet so cynical and suspicious. self sarcasm Meg Cabot
82d9127 "We all love each other, Ange," I said impatiently, hating this whole conversation. "No, not like this," she went on relentlessly. "Fang loves you."......My mouth dropped open. How does she know this stuff? "Forget it! No one's getting married!" I hissed. "Not in New Hampshire or anywhere else! Not in a box, not with a fox! Now go to sleep, before I kill you! Oh yeah, like I got any sleep after that. - pg 35" -- max sarcasm James Patterson
786a61f "Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm, the wind threatening to tear me off and throw me into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan far below. Yes, I was using a legendary and enchanted means of travel to transcend the border between one dimension and the next, and on my way to an epic struggle between ancient and elemental forces. But all i could think to say, between panting breaths, was, "Yeah. Sure. They couldn't possibly have made this an escalator." summer-knight jim-butcher sarcasm Jim Butcher
869335a Twenty-three stories up and all I could see out the windows was grey smog. They could call it the City of the Angels if they wanted to, but if there were angels out there, they had to be flying blind. oxymoron sarcasm Laurell K. Hamilton
366db40 "You don't have to make fun of it." "Actually I do," I said. "I make fun of almost everything." snark teasing sarcasm Jim Butcher
27cacb2 Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature? I don't think I shall bother, madam, seeing as you are making such a good job of it yourself! humor sarcasm Terry Pratchett
8e537d4 "Well, bloody noses." I hug his coat tighter. "Those are definitely hot." funny humor hot romantic-comedy sarcasm Stephanie Perkins
92852a8 ...Peabody had better retire to her bed; she is clearly in need of recuperative sleep, she has not made a sarcastic remark for fully ten minutes. wife-humor sarcastic-humor sarcasm Elizabeth Peters
a9b1784 ...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying. sadistic sarcasm Mercedes Lackey
380f181 All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously. irony humor philosophy self-pity pity psychology sarcasm Tom Robbins
ca431b8 REMIND ME AGAIN, he said, HOW THE LITTLE HORSE-SHAPED ONES MOVE. sarcasm Terry Pratchett
f1cc814 "Balekin and Orlagh are planning your murder," I say flustered. "Yes," he says lazily. "So why did I wake at all?" murder joke nonchalance sarcasm Holly Black
336e3db "They were shot with a shotgun and put in garbage bags and thrown under a bridge," Shrake said. "If it wasn't murder, it was a really weird accident." murder shotgun sarcasm John Sandford
7ea97ab ...even though I was getting better education at home than any of the kids in Toyah, I'd need to go to finishing school when I was thirteen, both to acquire social graces and to earn a diploma. Because in this world, Dad said, it's not enough to have a fine education. You need a piece of paper to prove you go it. sarcasm Jeannette Walls
fef14b3 "Yeah," Tamara said. "An old bowling alley. There must be a town not too far from here. But how could Aaron be there? And don't say something like 'working on his score' or 'maybe he's in a bowling league' or something like that. Be serious." Call leaned against the rough bark of a nearby tree and resisted the urge to sit down. He was afraid he wouldn't be able to get up again. "I'm serious. It might be hard to tell in the dark, but I have my most super-serious face on." humor sarcasm Cassandra Clare and Holly Black
d06ddb4 "Picture a place called the Karma Kafe and it'll save me the bother of describing it. There was nothing in it you wouldn't expect, from the Buddha flowerpots to the wallpaper decorated with symbols that probably said, "If you bought this just because it looked pretty, may Buddha piss in your coffee, you culturally ignorant moron." sarcasm Kelley Armstrong
e2139dc Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know. nefret sarcasm Elizabeth Peters
e822fa1 "This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small." "This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year." sarcasm Adam Rex
1a18d21 Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,' said Carrot 'What, in Ankh-Morpork?' 'Yes, sir.' 'We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value humor innocent-bystander sarcasm Terry Pratchett
e6760b7 The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform friends that, like, 'rain sucks!' But there's no app for a bourbon buzz on a warm day in a cool, dark bar. The world will always want a drink. drinking change bar electronic-software the-public the-recession electronic-revolution bourbon new-age electronics the-future video-games the-internet recession tv alcohol the-past electronic-books americans changes technology sarcasm Gillian Flynn
5f1b052 "come humans, fulfill your evolutionary purpose adn build your hound a fire." Oberon" humor sarcasm Kevin Hearne
f99788f Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested--as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine's readers, in spite of his efforts. He was a notable example of the fact that nothing can be duller than dull pornography. humour pornography sarcasm Agatha Christie
52ef74f Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Felicity and Ann hunched over their ornaments as if they were fascinating relics from an archaeological dig. I note that their shoulders are trembling, and I realize that they are fighting laughter over my terrible plight. There's friendship for you. friendship humor felicity gemma doyle sarcasm Libba Bray
6f6694d "Is this the baby?" I said. Ma turned on me again. "What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?" -- sarcasm George Saunders
6ef977a If you turned your back on irony, it curdled into sarcasm. And what good was it then? Sarcasm was irony which had lost its soul. sarcasm Julian Barnes
644610c Oh, for the love of God. There is no agent more agent than you. I swear you have pin-striped ties encrypted into your DNA. When you die, the coffin is going to read Property of the FBI. humor sarcasm Lisa Gardner
f589ad7 But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me. irony sarcasm Kevin Hearne
f85a7f5 With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country. sarcasm jim butcher
16dfe17 If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will. romance sarcasm Elizabeth Peters
afec1fa I was dead, and I hadn't even been able to attend my own funeral. funeral sarcasm Meg Cabot
56e4fb9 I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills. humor sarcasm Margaret Atwood
22d4770 "I once visited a place where they killed people by putting them in a chair. Not torture -- that was common enough; beds and chairs were very much the par when it came to getting people helpless and confined, to inflict pain upon them -- but actually set it up to kill them while they sat. They -- get this -- they either gassed them or they passed very high electric currents through them. A pellet dropped into a container beneath the seat, like some obscene image of a commode, producing a fatal gas; or a cap over their head, and their hands dipped in some conducting fluid, to fry their brains. You want to know the punch line? Yeah, [...] give us the punch line. This same state had a law that forbade -- and I quote -- "cruel and unusual punishments!" Can you believe that?" sarcasm Iain M. Banks
18ec620 "Miss Prendregast!" He rapped on his desk with his knuckles. "You were never in any danger!" "Except from the wild animals." His lids swept down as if he needed a reprieve from looking at her. "Alert me if you're attacked by a rabbit." sarcasm Christina Dodd
41c42a9 That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace. sarcasm J. D. Salinger
a39c3ea "When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop had told her not to make any sudden movements because they might scare me, like I'm a wild animal or something, because she kept looking at him and then at me. Finally she just said, "Hello, Jeff," and sat down again next to my father." sarcasm Michael Thomas Ford
c0964de "Yeah," Chris said. "I lose a couple limbs getting drunk and falling into harvesting combine, I'm an idiot. I lose the same limbs because I happened to be standing next to the right door when the ship was damaged, I'm a hero." humor sarcasm James S.A. Corey
256f4c5 He'd been given an assignment to write about teen beauty pageants [...], which he'd accepted because he enjoyed blood sports as much as the next person. beauty-pageants ruthlessness shows teen-beauty-pageants ambition satire teenagers sarcasm David Baldacci
64ccc24 "Right. That's twenty-two fifty." "Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation. "Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know." "That's obvious - the service is incredible." sarcasm Markus Zusak
2f71529 worms have crawled up your nose and eaten your wits. stupidity morbid-humor sarcasm George R.R. Martin
c0a082e Where are Haldad my father, and Haldad my brother? If the king of Doriath fears a friendship between Haleth and those who have devoured her kin, then the ways of the Eldar are strange to Men. sarcasm J.R.R. Tolkien
7b5a232 "A demigod?" I repeated like I'd just learned to speak a few seconds ago. "A real, live demigod?" "Opposed to a fake, dead one?" He chuckled, proud of himself, and then sighed when my eyes narrowed on him. "You used to have a sense of humor, Seth." humor sarcasm Jennifer L. Armentrout
8b37942 Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan. You who sprawled out beside me and sang my horoscope to a Schubert symphony, something about travel and money again, and we lay there, both of our breaths bad, both of our underwear dangling elastic, and then you turned toward me with a gaze like two matches, putting the horoscope aside, you traced my buried ribs with your index finger, lingered at my collarbone, admiring it as one might a flying buttress, murmuring: Nice clavicle. And me, too new at it and scared, not knowing what to say, whispering: You should see my ten-speed. love inspirational sarcasm Lorrie Moore
951d41a And her dumplings were so light they would float in the air and you'd have to catch 'em to eat 'em. jest sipsey soul-food sarcasm Fannie Flagg
daee1cd I nee to reason for a plague, ... As far as I know no comets or eclipses have been forecast, and our sins are not great enough for God to be concerned with us. punishment sarcasm Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez
810c6ce "In the meantime, I'll get a job. I'll pay my own way." "A job?" "Mmm, yeah. It's that thing people do to make money." money rick-people olivia mother sarcasm Kelley Armstrong
3ff5c84 "Do you expect to learn anything at Shiz?" he asked. "I have already learned not to speak to strangers." "Then I will introduce myself and we will be strangers no longer. I am Dillamond." "I am disinclined to know you." sarcasm Gregory Maguire
846e732 . . . they would rather sneer at us and be smug, because we 'fail' to see what they are driving at. If indeed they are driving at anything--obscurity is usually the refuge of incompetence. sarcasm Robert A. Heinlein
c8f99fc "Is that where you took care of him? In a restroom?" "No. I walked him out to the runway and threw him in front of a Boeing." sarcasm Max Allan Collins
15f7f95 Just a minute, Miss Frazetti, I'm getting dressed.' 'Hurry it up, Mo,' snapped Carla, her voice crackly through the cheap speakers. 'I'm getting old here. funny sarcasm Eoin Colfer
4c33efa "Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems..." "Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue." funny answer arm blank captain cliff query response title tongue witty word language point mother sarcastic question voice wit name sarcasm Robin Hobb
b612460 He explained civilization to me. I mean how it looks to him. He's going to let it go on a little while longer. But it better be careful and not interfere with his private life. If it does, he's apt to make a phone call to God and cancel the order. sarcasm Raymond Chandler
44bd74b Why is a man with a knife after your blood? Who sent him? I would like to write the fellow a letter of thanks! humor sarcasm Elizabeth Peters
d2d7dfa "Then the small man suddenly ran after them and said: "I want to get my haircut. I say, do you know a little shop anywhere where they cut hair properly? I keep on having my hair cut, but it keeps on growing again." One of the tall men looked at him with the air of a pained naturalist." wit sarcasm G.K. Chesterton
1abe1a2 "Why, you mean you didn't get abducted and dragged across country purely to make us a story for us to chew over endlessly?" asked Pip, tossing his shock of tow-colored hair indignantly. "The nerve!" humor sarcasm Mercedes Lackey
27a4d59 "Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get Killed lessons." sarcasm Mercedes Lackey
27983d8 "He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James. "No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader." humor wit sarcasm George Eliot
851309b Entertaining females with accounts of jug-bitten maunderings is one of my favourite pastimes. sarcasm Georgette Heyer
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