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dd2edc2
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Living with life is very hard. Mostly we do our best to stifle life--to be tame or to be wanton. To be tranquillised or raging. Extremes have the same effect; they insulate us from the intensity of life. And extremes--whether of dullness or fury--successfully prevent feeling. I know our feelings can be so unbearable that we employ ingenious strategies--unconscious strategies--to keep those feelings away. We do a feelings-swap, where we avoid feeling sad or lonely or afraid or inadequate, and feel angry instead. It can work the other way, too--sometimes you do need to feel angry, not inadequate; sometimes you do need to feel love and acceptance, and not the tragic drama of your life. It takes courage to feel the feeling--and not trade it on the feelings-exchange, or even transfer it altogether to another person. You know how in couples one person is always doing all the weeping or the raging while the other one seems so calm and reasonable? I understood that feelings were difficult for me although I was overwhelmed by them.
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feelings
life
extremes
inadequate
living-life
avoidance
suppression
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Jeanette Winterson |
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9da7c52
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In any event, the sloppy and fatuous nature of American good will can never be relied upon to deal with hard problems. These have been dealt with, when they have been dealt with at all, out of necessity--and in political terms, anyway, necessity means concessions made in order to stay on top.
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good-will
problems
avoidance
difficulties
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James Baldwin |
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3081f71
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"Emotional intelligence does not mean merely "being nice". At strategic moment it may demand not "being nice", but rather, for example, bluntly confronting someone with an uncomfortable but consequential truth they've been avoiding."
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truth
avoiding
being-nice
eq
uncomfortable
emotional-intelligence
avoidance
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Daniel Goleman |
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8639c6b
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One might have all sorts of reasons for avoiding people. It's none of our business.
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reclusive
the-green-knight
iris-murdoch
avoidance
misanthropic
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Iris Murdoch |
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481860f
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When has been disappointed for so long, hope becomes the enemy. One cannot be dashed to the earth unless one is lifted first, and I learned to avoid hope.
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time
pain
fear
hope
avoidance
burn
deny
enemy
ignore
look-away
hurt
break
fall
crash
weight
disappointment
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Robin Hobb |