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"As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one's own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible--where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things." --
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UN-Impressives of the Poor Listener * Thinking about what you should have done, could have done, or need to do. * Allowing your emotional reactions to take over. * Interrupting the person talking. * Replying before you hear all the facts. * Jumping to conclusions and making assumptions. * Being preoccupied with what you're going to say next. * Getting defensive or being over-eager. * One-upmanship--feeling the urge to compete and add something bigger, better, or more significant than what the speaker has to share. * Imposing an unsolicited opinion. * Ignoring and changing the subject altogether.
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communication-skills
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healthy-conversation
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Curiosity adds depth to what you know and to your life experience.
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The next time you have a high-stakes meeting, a presentation, or an important social engagement, practice power posing beforehand to potently and powerfully impact your confidence.
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Active listening is key to all healthy and effective communication, however, it doesn't necessarily come easily.
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Susan C. Young |
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"In her book, Ask Outrageously! my friend Linda Swindling suggests to "Mimic the body language of the most powerful people you know. They stand up straight, make appropriate eye contact, and use gestures to convey their points. Look at their feet. Usually they are placed about shoulder-width apart. They have an open stance. They smile and nod when they agree." Begin paying attention to the poise, postures, and gestures of the people whom you admire and respect the most. How do they carry themselves to project excellence? Adapting their behaviors may serve you well to enhance and improve your body language."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
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law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
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We are more likely to trust a person who is easier to read; they're easier to believe. Or we tend to think that an energetic and happy person will be more productive. Even traits such as competence, dominance, and courage can be conveyed by certain facial expressions and will stimulate unconscious bias.
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communication-skills
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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Gestures and the Signals They Send * Rubbing your face, palms, and neck may signify anxiety and stress. * Arms crossed with clenched fists may signify hostility, anger, and impatience. * Arms crossed with each hand gripping other arm may signify insecurity and self-doubt. * Arms crossed with thumbs up may signify interest and engagement. * Or my favorite--arms crossed may signify that you are simply cold! * Fidgeting and squirming may signify that you are lying, afraid of being found out, insecure, or uncomfortable. * Standing with your hands behind your back may signify power and superiority.
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Oversharing Why do some people feel the need to share their deepest, darkest secrets with complete strangers or on social media? How could saying too much, too soon possibly help their case or earn the respect of others? Perhaps their insatiable need to share every sordid detail of their existence satisfies a yearning to get attention, gain sympathy, or make friends.
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"From a leadership lean, are you the BOSS that creates fear and rules with an "iron fist" or are you a LEADER who listens and connects with your team members to create a culture where collaboration and creativity can thrive?"
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Don't try to make a joke just to make a joke. Sometimes, as human beings, we so want to fit in and connect that we try TOO hard to be something we are not. It's okay if you're not the life of the party. It's fine if you're not a stand-up comedian. Just be you. Real life provides real humor when we're paying attention to it. Share what makes you laugh.
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Smiling and Expressions of Emotion. A genuine smile is inviting, contagious, and encouraging. People do read a book by its cover and your expressions provide a glimpse for what they'll find inside.
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communication-skills
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emotional-intelligence-quotes
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Your first words will outlive your conversations and impact how you are remembered, liked, or regarded. Wouldn't you enjoy opening conversations with ease and mutual recognition? The challenging part is that it can be . . . awkward!
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"You can have the perfect message, but it may fall on deaf ears when the listener is not prepared or open to listening. These listening "planes" were first introduced by the American composer Aaron Copland (1900-1990) as they pertain to music . . . 1. The Sensual Plane: You're aware of the music, but not engaged enough to have an opinion or judge it. 2. The Expressive Plane: You become more engaged by paying attention, finding meaning beyond the music, and noticing how it makes you feel. 3. The Musical Plane: You listen to the music with complete presence, noticing the musical elements of melody, harmony, pitch, tempo, rhythm, and form."
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"To remember people's names, create a New Contact--Saving someone's name shortly after meeting will help you retain it longer. Whether it is on a piece of paper, your cell phone contacts, "friending" him on Facebook, or inviting him to join your LinkedIn network, adding the name to your contacts will make it easy to remember him for a long time into the future."
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Polish the Gold. Be an optimist; look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. It's golden!
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Think about the people in your life with whom you have the most engaging dialogue--the ones who will listen to you and consider your opinions regardless of the topic. They'll stop whatever they are doing to give you their full attention. They become completely present and hear you.
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"To remember people's names, introduce a "Just-Met" to someone else--Introduce your newfound acquaintance or friend to someone else. As you share her name with another person, the name will become locked into your memory."
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"A Sign of Respect. As our world grows more casual, we observe a tendency for everyone to use first names rather than surnames. "It is a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Young," has a completely different connotation than "Nice to meet you, Susan."
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Let Sleeping Dogs Lie When I hear someone expressing an adamant opinion which is diametrically opposed to my own, I have a strong temptation to try to convince them otherwise. But what value is there in attempting to prove another person wrong? How would that solve anything?
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Heed Your Speed. Are you a fast or a slow talker? Be mindful towards the person with whom you are speaking to ensure that your message is being comprehended, understood, and absorbed. If they are listening at a slower rate than you are speaking, disconnect can occur.
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What is the motive behind your services? If it is self-centered, self-serving, and lacking consideration for others, then earning people's trust, rapport, and business will inevitably be more of a struggle. A self-serving agenda throws up red flags which stop relationships dead in their tracks. It can destroy trust, make people wary of your intentions, and push customers to your competition.
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Be fiercely curious about who they are, what they do, what they like, and what they need. If you pay attention to them, they will pay attention to you.
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Your first words will not only shape your first impression, they can create amazing connections, lead you to your dream job, or help you discover a new best friend--or accomplish exactly the opposite.
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"Ignoring his advice, I got up, walked over, gently rested my hands on two of their shoulders and said, "Ladies, I have to tell you how much you have impressed me. I just moved to Madison from Florida and left behind all my girlfriends. I have been sitting over there admiring your friendships. You remind me so much of my girlfriends back home and I had to come over and speak with you." And without missing a beat, I next asked, "Can I be your friend?" They were so impressed by my sincere request, they kindly opened their circle and invited me in."
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"The directive we have so often heard, "Change your thoughts, change your life," is indeed based on the power of words. The key to your happiness, well-being, and interactions with others begins, continues, and concludes with the nature and quality of the words you hold in your mind as thoughts. Make them work for your highest good."
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If you have ever experienced this type of unprofessional treatment, I doubt you would even consider giving them business in the future. Interrupting, ignoring, patronizing, or antagonizing a customer is like pouring gas on a fire and creates a more explosive situation than the original complaint. Still, it continues to happen every day, costing companies millions in lost revenue.
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Susan C. Young |
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Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.
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"Rather than being green with envy, realize that a dramatic difference between the "haves" and "have-nots" is the "do" and "do-nots." If you are seeking positive change and transformation, what can you begin to do?" --
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customer-service-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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Make a Connection to remember people's names, --Connect their name or a feature on their face with something you already know. This connection will help anchor their name in your mind for future recall.
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Susan C. Young |
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Take the initiative to introduce yourself. One morning I was sitting on a bike in a spinning class at my gym. There was a lady whom I did not know sitting on the bike next to me. As we waited for the instructor, I decided to break the silence and start a conversation. I took the initiative to introduce myself and within a few short minutes, I knew her children's names, how long she had lived in Madison, which exercise classes she preferred, and where they went for Christmas. When the class was over, I confirmed that I remembered her name correctly, reminded her of mine and shared that it was a true pleasure meeting her. A simple introduction turned a stranger into a fresh and delightful new acquaintance.
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What Does Poor Posture Look Like? * Stiff & rigid * Slumping * Slouching * Hunched over * Rounded shoulders * Overly arched back * Stumbling * Head forward In sensitivity, we must be aware that many people suffer from poor posture because of physical disability, injury, health issues, heredity, obesity, or musculoskeletal construction. These descriptions are not meant to offend or judge people who are unable to change their posture.
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Zip Your Lip & Bite Your Tongue The discreet communicator knows when it's time to speak and when it's time to listen. He conscientiously refrains from opening a topic of discussion if it is bad timing or inappropriate. He will stop, look, learn, and listen for cues to ensure he doesn't get caught with his foot in his mouth.
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10 Ways to Be More Personable and Friendly 1. Listen more than you speak. 2. When you do speak, ask questions of the other person before volunteering your own story. 3. Show a genuine interest in what the other person has to share. 4. Keep the focus on the other person. People love to talk about themselves--their kids, their significant other, their pets, their job, etc. 5. Keep a positive attitude, a smile, and eye contact. 6. Be the glue that holds the conversation together. And learn to be the glue that keeps other groups of people together. 7. Laugh at other people's jokes. 8. Take the initiative to say hello and introduce yourself. 9. Get in tune with other people's emotions. 10. Embrace small talk as a positive way to begin new conversations.
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Discretion & Good Judgment . . . The flagrant lack of decorum, reckless behavior, and poor judgment exhibited in our world today continues to astound. Even those who never dreamed they'd be caught in their most embarrassing moments risk public exposure from the ever-present smart phones and non-stop social media.
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"Having a sense of humor can be one of your greatest assets and equip you with an undeniable "attractor factor." The benefits extend far past a quick wit and spontaneous laughter. It can help you lower stress levels in yourself and others, diffuse difficult situations, interact more easily, and provide health benefits for improved well-being."
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Susan C. Young |
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It is generally believed that nearly 40 percent of your first impression will be set from the tone of your voice. Your vocal thermometer can be more impactful than the actual words you use.
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"Going with Your Gut Your natural instincts are a great barometer for a person's trustworthiness. Listen to your gut when something feels amiss. When your natural "Spidey-Sense" kicks in, it may alerting you to red flags you would not see on the surface otherwise."
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Susan C. Young |
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When you sincerely want to connect on deeper levels and encourage other people to talk about themselves, use open-ended questions to stimulate your conversation and get the ball rolling.
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Susan C. Young |
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Seek to make others feel comfortable by demonstrating respect for their individual needs as well as their cultural norms. Your consideration and heightened awareness will guide you well--and help you make a great first impression.
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People love to be happy, enjoy a hearty laugh, and simply have fun. When you're happy, everything feels right in the world and life is good. Knowing that this is a universal yearning, what can you do to feed the need and bring out the best in others?
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Whether you master the art of asking questions to become a skilled communicator, start conversations, or to connect in a more meaningful way, questions can help you build rapport and strengthen relationships.
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"Encouraging quality communication will make it easier for you to establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. You can use this "fishing" technique for personal relationships, social events, sales calls, and professional correspondence."
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Use Discretion & Good Judgment. Don't share your most embarrassing moments with public exposure. Doing what is right is not always easy and can require uncommon courage. Be brave my friends, living right is its own reward.
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A person who offers a loose handshake, on the other hand (pun intended), may be interpreted as being uninterested, lacking confidence and self-esteem, weak, or being wishy-washy. Whether too strong or too weak, a bad handshake can set you back and close down a potentially rewarding relationship before it ever gets started.
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If you want to impress someone with how much you know, the best thing you can do is talk to them about . . . them. People typically love to share their stories and are delighted when others show genuine interest in hearing about: their families, what they do for fun, their opinions, where they are going on vacation, their happiest memories, their hobbies, or even where they grew up.
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Susan C. Young |
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The dictionary defines discretion as the quality of showing discernment, the ability to make responsible decisions, and behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense to others or revealing private information. Doing what is right is not always easy and can require uncommon courage. Be brave my friends, living right is its own reward.
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In his book, Networking is a Contact Sport, Joe Sweeney advises that when you attend networking events, act as if it is your party and you are the host or hostess. By doing this, you will help others be at ease and demonstrate a heart of service and generosity.
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"Hostess with the Mostest "Think of a time when you have had a party in your home or had friends over for dinner. Didn't you want to make sure they were nurtured, cared for, and well-taken care of? Didn't you want your guests to interact with each other and enjoy the experience so they would remember it fondly?"
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"Mingle * Be the connector--introduce people to each other who may not otherwise connect. * Be a conversation fire starter; point out what people have in common as you are introducing them. * Seek out the folks who may appear to be shy, or awkward, or wallflowers. Find ways to build trust and comfort. Engage them with a kind word to pull them out of their shell. * Arrive early and stay late; connect with people before and after your event. * Stretch beyond your comfort zone to speak with, sit with, and start conversations with people whom you do not know. * Offer to refill someone's drink or clear their plate. * Encourage introductions: "There is someone whom I would love for you to meet . . ."
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Susan C. Young |
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The list below begins to illustrate how different personalities can be assigned to different vocal qualities . . . * Warm * Loving * Breathy * Gravelly * Dull * Nasal * Rough * Hoarse * Gruff * Melodious * Whiny * Sultry * Twangy * Energetic * Shrill
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communication-skills
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Susan C. Young |
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Too often when people hand us their cards, we quickly slip them into our pockets or purses without giving notice to what it says. Subliminally, it tells the other person that we don't care or are not interested. Take a moment to demonstrate your interest; this will help your newfound relationship be off to a good start. Small actions can make a significant impact!
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To touch or not to touch . . . that is the question. Handshakes, hugs, and other touching all have their appropriate space and place. The key to success in this area is to know when, where, and how to best put these into action.
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Susan C. Young |
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By your practice of active listening, everyone involved benefits because you . . . * are more engaged and engaging; * demonstrate that you are interested in others and what they have to say; * make others feel important, respected, understood, and appreciated; * improve your memory and retention; * affirm to others that you are an authentic, caring, and compassionate person; make a great first and last impression
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Susan C. Young |
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Becoming an empathetic listener helps you to better understand how another person feels and why they communicate as they do.
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Susan C. Young |
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"What does a solid, comfortable, impressive handshake look and feel like? To deliver a great handshake . . . * Extend your right hand out vertically at a comfortable waist level toward the person you are meeting. * Connect hands with web to web contact made between the thumb and index finger. * Be intentional and appropriate by showing mutual respect and teamwork. * Gently squeeze firmly enough to be confident, yet lightly enough to be gracious. Shake a few times for good measure. * Discreetly rotate your wrist so that your hand is slightly on top of theirs when you want to subconsciously convey self-assurance. * Make eye contact and smile to show sincerity. Throw in an acknowledging head nod for good measure. Avoiding eye contact may be interpreted that you are not attentive or have something to hide. * Introduce yourself and when they share their name, repeat it back to them to help you remember it. "It is nice to meet you John." * When in doubt, mirror their handshake to adapt to what makes them feel comfortable. Customize accordingly to the gender, age, position, personality, and culture of the person you are meeting."
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communication-skills
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If you truly want to impress someone, remember points they shared in previous conversations and mention it when you reconnect.
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When your speaking style is clear, confident, and concise, your listeners will perceive you as such.
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Susan C. Young |
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How do you know when to advance the conversation or when there's something still unresolved? When you are situationally aware, you watch the body language and notice the cues that are given to you. Listening and observing are being mindful in the best sense of the word.
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It is through these facial expressions that we write and feel our life story, create lifelong social habits--through which we are received and perceived by a multitude of others. When you want to make a positive first impression, let your face know!
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Susan C. Young |
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"The romantic notion of "opposites attract" works well in fairy tales. However, science proves that "like attracts like" for healthy communication and successful relationships. Social psychologists have long relied upon the "Similarity Attraction Theory" to explain why we are more positively inclined toward people who are the most like ourselves. Similarity reduces uncertainty and gives us a comforting degree of psychological safety. It is no wonder, then, that "birds of a feather flock together." Our tribe understands our vibe."
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"When I was a young and aspiring speaker, I sought mentorship from a man who had been a Dale Carnegie trainer for decades. Eagerly wanting to know how to improve my stage presence and build my career, I contacted Dr. Joe Carnley in Destin, Florida and invited him out to lunch. After we placed our order at the Harbor Docks Restaurant, he dove right in and gave me some of the best advice of my life. He said, "Susan, you have to make them laugh! When they leave your presentations, you want them to feel better and leave happier than when they came in. Help them enjoy your time together." He continued to describe the magical power that humor has over the human spirit. When we craft humor into our speeches, we can take our audiences on a journey they will never forget. Immediately after our delightful lunch ended, I drove straight to a Books-a-Million store and headed for the humor section. Since I was not a particularly funny person, I needed all the help I could get. For over an hour I stood there reading titles, flipping through funny books, and enjoying outrageous belly laughs, giggles, and snorts. People were staring, and probably thinking, "I want what she is having!" The humor section was one of the smallest in the entire bookstore, but it may well have been the most important. When I turned around, I noticed the opposite aisle was the "Self-Improvement" section. It ran half the length of the store and displayed hundreds of books. At that cathartic moment, I had a huge "Ah-Ha" moment."
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Humor can heal the heart, instill hope, bring people together, and remind them that life isn't meant to be so doggone serious. Why not use it for good? There is no denying that humor's uplifting, energizing, and positive impact can transform lives for the better.
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Your thoughts become your attitudes, which become your actions, which become your behavior, which become your habits, which become your lifestyle, and inevitably determine your outcomes. Utilize this circular truth by using positive thoughts to create positive outcomes. It is a choice you get to make every day. Choose wisely.
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What determines whether the usage is acceptable or inappropriate? If you want to make a great first impression with positive impact, it is essential that you know there is a difference.
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Since we are all unique and individual, being cognizant of different personality styles will help you better recognize where others are coming from to minimize barriers, build trust, and catapult your newfound communication skills into meaningful connections. The savvy socializer knows this all.
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Mindfulness is a quiet strength and deeply rooted value which many other cultures understand and often practice better than we do. It can be puzzling to people from other countries as to why Americans are so task-driven and action-oriented.
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"Animation. Enthusiasm. Sincerity. Excitement. Acceptance. Have I just described your family dog? You're happy to see him because he is so happy to see you. It is no wonder dogs are called "Man's Best Friend" with attributes like that. Their natural propensity for joy makes them among the most personable and friendly creatures on the planet. Human beings could learn a thing or two from their eager and earnest approach to life."
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Every professional voice coach worth their salt will bring you back to the importance of tone, pace, and pitch. While these concepts were introduced earlier in The Art of Body Language section, we can now elaborate and take a deeper dive into how you can use your voice to improve your communications.
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Active listening requires being fully present and engaged in the moment.
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I have a few friends who are confined to wheelchairs for access and mobility. I don't want to always be looking down at them while they are looking up at me. To enjoy a meaningful conversation, I'm quick to kneel beside them or pull up a chair to talk at the same height. Begin to recognize the orientation of other people and align yourself with their body position and physical needs so that you may connect on a more balanced and effective level.
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communication-skills
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expressions-of-emotion
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Susan C. Young |
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Align your voice value with the tone, pace, and pitch of your listeners will help you connect on all levels.
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Susan C. Young |
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11 Ways to Be More Engaged 1. Care about others. 2. Be 100 percent in the moment. 3. Keep focus on the person you are serving. 4. Try to get involved, engaged, and interactive. 5. Show interest in what matters to other people by listening, acknowledging, and responding. 6. Arrive in the moment anticipating creating a valuable interaction for yourself and others. 7. Move towards the things that inspire you and provide a sense of joy and connection. 8. Reconnect with the essence of yourself and be grounded in that essential relationship. 9. Maintain eye contact and deliver the non-verbal cues that you are fully with the other person. 10. Limit distractions-- close the door, silence your phone, hold calls, put tasks aside, etc. 11. Show up to the moment being your best and giving your best.
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"Have you ever had a legitimate complaint as a customer which made you angry, upset, or frustrated? How was it "handled?" If you were dealing with an inept, uncaring, or untrained employee, they may have made matters even worse by being rude, defensive, or apathetic. Simple acknowledgment and validation of your complaint is sometimes all that is needed. Without it, you're left frustrated or upset."
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Susan C. Young |
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Now let's look at the flip side. When a diligent and caring person receives your complaint, they have the power to turn a challenge into a triumph. Through active listening, they demonstrate that your satisfaction is their top priority. They not only seek to solve your problem, but they are dedicated to re-earning your trust, your respect, and keeping your business.
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Susan C. Young |
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When a person is focused completely on self it is nearly impossible to be mindful of others at the same time. That is a contradiction for healthy communication, networking, and relationship building.
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Susan C. Young |
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"Wearing Nametags- On Others I enjoy reading nametags and calling people by their names before we have officially met or been introduced. It provides an instant icebreaker. Walking up to someone and saying, "Hi Brenda! I'm Susan!" creates a quick connection that might not have happened were her name not displayed."
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team-building
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Is your voice value delivering the image you wish to convey? Is your voice coming across as smart, friendly, and positive or ignorant, rude, and negative?
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Susan C. Young |
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Look for all of the possible missteps in the following scenario. My friend Amy arrived at a consultation with her Hispanic business partner. The African American woman to whom they were delivering their presentation was a long-time friend of her partner's. Her partner was greeted with a hug and Amy was greeted with a handshake. The meeting was a great success. As it came to a close, the two friends hugged. With enthusiastic affection, Amy went to hug the African American client. The woman took a step, turned her shoulder to block the hug, and looked at Amy with dismissive anger. It was almost a defensive move. Her partner, recognizing this, put her arm around Amy to soften the situation and make light of the inappropriate gesture. Everything turned out fine, but Amy was baffled by the barrier. She was confused by the woman's reaction since their interaction had been cordial and positive. She wondered if she had been socially insensitive or culturally inappropriate. After much reflection, however, she realized that she had simply been too quick to assume familiarity. Thankfully, she earned and learned the lesson quickly to become more aware. Amy eventually earned the trust of her client and secured her valuable business.
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Susan C. Young |
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On a recent business trip, I reunited with a friend I had not seen in twenty years. After having a lovely lunch meeting, we came out of the restaurant to walk towards the parking lot. He automatically moved me to the inside of the sidewalk as he walked along the curbside. His orientational awareness illustrated a chivalrous gesture of protection and respect which impressed me greatly.
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Susan C. Young |
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When a leader nurtures an environment of trust, respect, and honesty--business soars, creativity and problem-solving are inspired, and collaboration enables people get more done in less time.
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Susan C. Young |
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Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched--men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people's cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.
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Susan C. Young |
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Check Your Ego at the Door. A big part of creating valuable, long-term connections requires setting your ego aside. For some, it's a struggle to not be the center of attention, of the conversation, or of the universe! People feel more valued, respected, and connected when they feel seen and heard. And that's hard to do if it's always all about you. Once you get into the practice of connecting and communicating with people in a way that draws them to you, conversations will be more engaging, and the end result is much more rewarding.
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Decide today to take a stand, make a plan, and get. No one ever said it was going to be easy and wouldn't require effort. It will sometimes require that you go against the grain, face great challenge, conquer fear, overcome obstacles, and bounce back when knocked down. Choose to keep moving and don't give up. And if your ship still doesn't come in--swim out to it!
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As you use fun and humor to reduce tension and connect with laughter, light-heartedness will prevail. Exercising discretion and good judgment in your communication will leave your listener feeling like they have met a person of substance and style.
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As a professional speaker, Susanne travels all over the country and practically lives on airplanes. One day as she entered security to board yet another flight, she was struck by the poise, posture, and gestures of the man in front of her in line. As a communications expert, she observed his excellent presentation with appreciation and awe. The gentleman was dressed impeccably in a crisp white shirt and well-fitted suit and he sported a new haircut. She watched him as he removed his flawless leather belt, his gold money clip, and well-polished shoes. (And of course, he had Listerine in a baggie to ensure fresh breath!) The care with which he dismantled was impressive. His poised and fluid movements were deliberate and respectful of his personal possessions. As he regrouped and proceeded down the concourse, she was struck by how his stance and carriage intrigued and impressed her. His projection of elegance created a presence of pride and dignity. He left a remarkable impression.
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Susan C. Young |
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Take steps to be humble, sincere, and authentic, and apologize if necessary. If a relationship is valuable to you, it is worth your concern and effort to make it right.
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Susan C. Young |
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Wearing Nametags- On Yourself The purpose of wearing nametags in the first place is for people to see your name. Otherwise, why bother? We have all seen nametag placements that range from proper to downright raunchy. People can get pretty creative about where they place them and it is not always appropriate. For this book, we will focus on the best practices.
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"I have noticed generational humor exists as well. Since our frames of reference and cultural influences vary, there is a lot of room for misinterpretation and the potential to not "get it."
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Susan C. Young |
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ASK YOURSELF: Are your facial expressions in alignment with your true personality? Are they working on your behalf to project the best impression possible?
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law-of-attraction-quotes
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Be a Discovery Expert. Be inquisitive. A wonderful way to get to know someone is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about people, work, life.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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"Palm Reading 101 * Palm Up-- Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy. * Palm Down--Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control. * Palm Vertical--Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting. * Palm Wet, Cold, or Clammy--Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited. * Palm Perfect--This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
handshake-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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d8b2e2e
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Have you ever had a friend in need whose only request was the gift of your presence? When major life changes happen or tragedies hit, you can find out very quickly who your real friends are because they are the ones who SHOW UP.
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customer-service-quotes
initiative
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
service-beyond-self
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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d8cd0e4
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"Along with the "Law of Attraction" there is also an "Attractor Factor" for easily building camaraderie and commonality for making a positive first impression. Seek to find: 1. Shared History 2. Shared Stories 3. Shared Interests 4. Shared Attitudes 5. Shared Experiences 6. Shared Beliefs and Values"
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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d8d4abc
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If people would read more of these humor books, they wouldn't need all those self-improvement books!
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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Susan C. Young |
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As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses is elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport--he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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d9a718b
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Sometimes you must earn the right to be included. Otherwise, you may appear awkward or pushy.
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
mindfulness
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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10 Conversation Bridge Builders 1. Simply say hello with a smile. 2. Ask them what they love about their work. 3. Ask natural questions out of genuine curiosity. 4. Get a person talking about what's important to them. 5. Compliment something positive which you've noticed. 6. Engage them with questions which are easy to answer. 7. Introduce them to someone whom you think they'll enjoy meeting. 8. Ask them if they have any trips or vacations planned. 9. Look for something you may have in common so that the conversation begins with shared interests. 10. Think of questions that begin with how, what, when, why and where.
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"Whoever came up with the idea that "nice guys finish last" must have been either very jaded or downright malicious. Why would a caring, emotionally healthy human being ever think that being "un-nice" is a virtue? Anyone who wants to get ahead in life and have quality outcomes needs to understand that kindness is a strength. You will move forward faster by making friends rather than foes."
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customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
just-be-nice
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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ddff4fb
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"According to the "universality studies" conducted by psychologists Paul Ekman, Carroll Izard, and Friesen (1969-1972), the words Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust. describe the natural expressions of emotion shared by the entire human race."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Finding commonality with another person can help you create an instant bond by transcending social differences and going straight to creating rapport. Finding common ground allows you to connect the dots in the big picture to discover what feels most comfortable, how to connect, and where you might fit in when meeting new people.
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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When trust is broken, foundational cracks occur which weaken the entire relationship. As with concrete, no amount of filling and patching you apply with the hope of fortifying the fracture will ever repair the weakness caused by the rift.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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e238235
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Glow What can you do and how can you be in order to bring out the best in others and truly help them shine? * Be complimentary; say something nice. * Be a great listener and make them feel like you are hanging on every word. * Create enthusiasm and anticipation for the person they are getting ready to meet. * Act as you have personally invited them to the party and help ensure they have a wonderful time. * Give people an experience, not just a conversation
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customer-service-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
networking
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
service-beyond-self
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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13 Ways to Make Other People Feel Important 1. Ask people questions about themselves, their interests, their families, their passions and their lives. 2. Catch people doing things right, pat them on the back, and acknowledge them for a job well done. 3. Celebrate their successes. 4. Be lavish in your compliments and sincere in your praise. 5. Be appreciative and say thank you. 6. Listen with genuine interest. 7. Respect their opinions. 8. Encourage people with words of affirmation and validation. 9. Brag about people behind (and in front of) their backs. 10. Make the time and space to be fully present and engaged. 11. Spend quality time together. 12. Share your authentic self and be real. 13. Offer comfort and compassion.
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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"While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a "bitch" has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people."
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customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
just-be-nice
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Well-crafted and open-ended questions typically begin with What, Why, When, Who, How, and Where, all of which can prompt the most delightful of conversations.
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best-keynote-speakers
best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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e2e3dea
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Conversation starters. Icebreakers. Openers. However you choose to label them, that moment when the first words come out of your mouth can make or break the outcome of your entire conversation. Been there, done that, right?
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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"Employee Engagement "Employee Engagement" has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls' "The State of the American Workforce" survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it's costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled."
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
motivational-speaker-susan-young
networking
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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e3e0f7c
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Active listening is one of the best services a company can provide.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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Energy & Aura. You release your own distinctive energy signature which naturally produces a physical presence. When you emit positive energy, thoughts, feelings, and vibrations, you attract more positives into your life.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
eye-contact-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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e47e416
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"Mix * Be situationally aware and pay attention to the people in the room. * Introduce guests or help strike up a conversation. * Be the one who takes the initiative and makes and effort to "work the room." * Make eye contact and acknowledge others with a smile and friendly gestures. * Greet people as they arrive, even if it is not your expected role. * Spot the people who may be first timers or guests and help them feel more welcomed and embraced."
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customer-service-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
networking
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
service-beyond-self
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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You are the only one who can determine what feels right to you. Before baring your soul to the world and telling it all, consider a few scenarios which deserve your discretion. * Does your date really need to hear what a jerk your ex was and why your marriage ended? * Will disclosing details of your childhood betray the people who love you the most? * Will disclosing your health history create unfair bias? * Will revealing the dysfunctions of your last team help you get that new job or improve the new team? * Will telling someone how you screwed up alienate their affection or friendship? * Will exerting your opinion alienate others and make them avoid you? * Will talking smack about your competitor build consumer confidence?
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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e59b4dd
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"The way you deliver the words you say becomes your "vocal image. This "vocal image" can make or break your first impressions, impact your communication, and determine how people respond to you."
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
motivational-leadership-speaker
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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e5c4d08
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Life wasn't meant to be so serious. Enjoy life, be fun, spend time with people who make you happy, widen that smile, and laugh out loud. Learn to laugh at yourself.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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There will be times when you would be wise to err on the side of caution. And rather than making a magnificent misstep, zip your lip and bite your tongue for personal and professional self-preservation.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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"Strategic Commonality "Social media has capitalized on helping people find others who share their similar interests, shared experiences, and common passions. With social media, we are easily able to target potential customers who would be ideal for our business pursuits and professional development."
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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eaaba0b
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These special people are genuinely warm, sincerely kind, and put people at ease with their inviting nature and light-hearted conversation. They are easy to talk to, easy to like, and bring a positive vibe to even the most stressful situations.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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eafb059
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ASK YOURSELF: Do you appear self-confident or unsure? Do you project a calm demeanor or scream instability? Do you come across as a leader or try to stay invisible? Do you walk with purpose and intention or doubt and trepidation? Do you look vibrant and energetic, or stressed out and overwhelmed?
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
posture-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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eba2679
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Your written words show up in a variety of forms: * Emails, texts, and memos * Blogging and publishing * Your website and social media * Letters of correspondence * Advertising, marketing, and promotion
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
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Susan C. Young |
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Is it better to be interested or interesting? Good question. People will be more interested in you when you first demonstrate that you are interested in them.
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
personable-and-friendly
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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trust
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Susan C. Young |
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ec6e6d3
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The best safeguards you have are to live with dignity, love, and self-respect, and to make choices you can be proud of in the first place. Even as an adult, I still think to myself--what would my mother say?
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
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Susan C. Young |
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edbc973
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Smiling is one of your most powerful non-verbal behaviors. People do read a book by its cover and these expressions provide glimpses into what they will find inside.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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eed4b18
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Be inquisitive. You already know what you know. A straightforward way to learn something new is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about life and work, about other people, and about yourself.
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best-keynote-speakers
best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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Encourage others to talk about themselves by asking questions and listening with genuine interest. Demonstrating such mutual respect will make you all the more fascinating for kinship and camaraderie.
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customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
employee-engagement
first-impressions-quotes
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relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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Situational awareness enables you to observe your periphery with a clear vision and emotional foresight, which may inevitably keep you socially, physically, or professionally out of harm's way. Connect the dots.
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
mindfulness
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f2378ae
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Use questions to find out where people are, where they want to be, and how you can help them cross the great divide. When I was in real estate, there were times when brand new clients would get into my car for a day of touring and house hunting. In many cases, I had never met them before. My first goal was to break the ice and build rapport as fast as possible so that our time together would be enjoyable, interactive, and successful for all of us.
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best-keynote-speakers
best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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Orientation & Proximity. Be aware of the orientation between yourself and others so that you can be sensitive and responsive to their comfort zones.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
proximity-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f2be2fd
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If the skill of participatory listening came effortlessly and easy for everyone, there would not be so many misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, irritations, and frustrations.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f31ec23
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Look at the single words below; wear these emotions on your face for just a moment. Try them on for size and note how they make you feel: Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust. These are the basic human emotions which communicate with clear understanding across cultures, languages, and countries. In other words, a smile naturally conveys happiness and a frown naturally conveys sadness, no matter where you may be using your passport.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
smiling-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f362f40
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My success with customers on the telephone wasn't by using pushy sales methods, but by engaging people in meaningful conversations which could lead to friendships on the phone before I ever met them. I would ask questions, listen to their stories, respond to their needs, develop rapport, and earn their business. When we would finally meet in person, it felt less like an introduction and more like a reunion. It was not only good business, we had fun in the process!
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f38ba6d
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Since non-verbal signals have five times the impact of verbal signals, paying attention to the image you are projecting is crucial to your first impressions.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
posture-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f3fd8f6
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The first step in getting unstuck and moving forward is to examine what is holding you back from taking action. The power is yours to set your intention and take the action needed to create the life you desire. You are in control of your initiative--be proactive.
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customer-service-quotes
initiative
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
service-beyond-self
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f413162
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"The Words You Think "Your thoughts lay the foundation for your life's experience. Are you utilizing your thoughts for your highest good or are they harmful to you and others? Are your thoughts building you up or tearing you down? Notice the quality of your words and ask yourself these questions."
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
first-impressions-quotes
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motivational-leadership-speaker
networking-quotes
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relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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f413181
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We must remember that some hand gestures which are commonly used and widely accepted in the U.S. might be considered rude or offensive in other countries. As always, I encourage you to be mindful of how and where you use certain gestures to assure you maintain your professionalism and positive impressions.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
posture-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f4716b2
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To remember people's names, use association--Creating a connection to something that has been important to you will give a name sticking power. Did you go to the same college? Did you work for his company at one time? Does she have the same car as your best friend? Begin looking for associations and it will make the names more memorable.
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customer-service-quotes
employee-engagement
first-impressions-quotes
hire-keynote-speaker
motivational-leadership-speaker
networking-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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f4c4f01
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When you are mindfully focused, the person with whom you are communicating feels that you are making them a priority--that you value their time and their perspective. It is in these moments that we can go to deeper levels of discovery, exploration, and connection. It is one of the most valuable gifts and finest compliments you can give to another.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
healthy-conversation
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f4da171
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Life rewards action. To get from where you are now to where you want to be requires forward movement and momentum. Although you may already know what it takes to bridge the gap, simply knowing what to do is not enough.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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f4f2da4
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The variety of political positions shared on Facebook in the 2016 Presidential Election was both entertaining and, sadly, destructive. I observed friends of a lifetime divide into different camps and sacrifice their friendships through argument and debate. As an avid reader and political junkie, I had to hold myself back from expressing my opinions or presenting factual evidence which would obliterate others' claims. Why would I jump into the fray? All it would do is hurt the friendship. Rarely does arguing political positions change an opinion or belief.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
discretion
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
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Susan C. Young |
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It is easier to do business and work with people who are most like ourselves.
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best-motivational-speakers
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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For leaders, trust can make all the difference in the viability of their teams. When there is mistrust or low connectivity, teams can falter and fight--making productivity and profitability suffer.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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Ask any person trained in sign language and they will confirm the fact that you can talk with your hands. Your hand gestures communicate for you and are an integral part of your language. While some people may come by hand gestures naturally, you can learn to be even more expressive to get your points across--and to be memorable.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
expressions-of-emotion
law-of-attraction-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
posture-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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The bottom line is that, as human beings, we all crave belonging and connection. This only happens when trust is established and continuously cultivated.
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best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
speaker-susan-young
trust
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Susan C. Young |
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Service Beyond Self is Essential for Success Because It . . . * Builds credibility, trust, and customer satisfaction. * Strengthens your personal reputation and public image. * Fosters goodwill and makes people feel appreciated. * Helps you build healthy relationships with others. * Nurtures collaboration, participation, and cooperation. * Reaffirms a continuity of service for quality assurance, integrity, and reliability. * Saves money--it costs less to keep existing customers than it does to create new ones. When you do it right the first time, you don't have to fix it the next time. * Improves communication and builds rapport. * Fosters mutual respect and understanding * By providing other people with what they want, you will get more of what you want!
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customer-service-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
positive-first-impression-quotes
positivity-quotes
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
selling-success
service-beyond-self
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |
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The Art of Action explores specific action steps you can take for personal and professional transformation. Start by taking the initiative to be kind, courageous, and polite.
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communication-skills
customer-service-quotes
emotional-intelligence-quotes
motivational-speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
susanspeaks-com
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Susan C. Young |