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5a6d98c
|
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
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humor
ignorance
knowledge
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Eoin Colfer |
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89484cc
|
It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
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humor
foaly
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Eoin Colfer |
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adc7382
|
I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
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Eoin Colfer |
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569785d
|
If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.
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Eoin Colfer |
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2dc264e
|
If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
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Eoin Colfer |
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1bb29fa
|
Trust me. I'm a genius.
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Eoin Colfer |
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8570a0e
|
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
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Eoin Colfer |
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492cdf6
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No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
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men
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Eoin Colfer |
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639060c
|
Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
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Eoin Colfer |
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9a9ec60
|
Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.
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artemis-fowl
fowl
goblin
artemis
stupid
|
Eoin Colfer |
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84f459f
|
Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
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Eoin Colfer |
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edc7ce5
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Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
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Eoin Colfer |
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bd21fdc
|
Hey, look--your
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humor
puberty
insults
|
Eoin Colfer |
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858f9ae
|
Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
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fairy
moron
|
Eoin Colfer |
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5b33b43
|
Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on."
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fun
humor
world-domination
megalomania
|
Eoin Colfer |
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6643e9c
|
I don't like lollipops.
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humor
|
Eoin Colfer |
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6bdd80c
|
And one more thing. About my name -- Artemis -- you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.
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Eoin Colfer |
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6fda7ea
|
Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
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Eoin Colfer |
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f6940bc
|
In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter--they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
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|
investigations
half-moon
girls
mystery
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
f690503
|
A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
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|
technology
|
Eoin Colfer |
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8ab5dbb
|
I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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0f691c0
|
We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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7e44a86
|
The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.
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Eoin Colfer |
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756bb9c
|
That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy." Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things." But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror." I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?" Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."
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stupidity
humor
horror-movies
killers
|
Eoin Colfer |
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1eb35ec
|
D'Arvit!
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Eoin Colfer |
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708fb85
|
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs."
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|
violence
revenge
fun
humor
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
41a9e8e
|
No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order a la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?
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|
code
fowl
eoin-colfer
eternity
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
b5665cb
|
I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
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5cee266
|
Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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8070d68
|
I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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679a65a
|
Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said. "Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction."
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orion-fowl
atlantis-complex
eoin-colfer
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
04f313a
|
about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)
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Eoin Colfer |
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321c232
|
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!"
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|
humour
humor
foaly
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
3ab6bca
|
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
|
|
humor
genius
|
Eoin Colfer |
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1507e0e
|
I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn." Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer. Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything."
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|
fun
humor
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
19047ea
|
text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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89e5d63
|
If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
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ba1aeb7
|
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
|
|
kids
humor
time-travel
teenagers
internet
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
2f1b33e
|
Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.
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|
Eoin Colfer |
|
779ab3a
|
What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
|
|
humor
bbq
signs
wolves
wolf
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
ddf0863
|
Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
9029a07
|
to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
2bf57d0
|
Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it." Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?" Orion: "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have."
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
5b86139
|
Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.
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|
Eoin Colfer |