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5e2ac10
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That's not how it works, Foaly. Consultants don't give orders to captains." "We have a Koboi sighting coming through on a satellite. It's a live feed," countered the technical consultant. "We're on our way," said Holly, severing the connection."
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Eoin Colfer |
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b87ca2e
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It was impressive, but, pretty much like the man with the exploding head, it was a one-time trick. When
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Eoin Colfer |
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460380c
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For almost a year, Opal Koboi had languished in the padded-cell wing of the J. Argon Clinic, showing no response to the medical warlocks who tried to revive her. In all that time, she spoke not a single word, ate not a mouthful of food, and exhibited no response to stimuli. At first the authorities were suspicious. It is an act! they declared. Koboi is faking catatonia to avoid prosecution. But as the months rolled by, even the most skeptic..
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Eoin Colfer |
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5acf477
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Wasn't there a plasma cannon back here somewhere?" "No. You donated that to the orphanage." Foaly did not waste time wondering why he would have donated a plasma cannon to an orphanage but instead kept digging through the junk in the van."
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Eoin Colfer |
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5de2738
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It was a smart move.
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Eoin Colfer |
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8f330dd
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Exactly, Artemis," confirmed the bodyguard. "Or, as we used to say in the Delta: we are running blindfolded into the kill box." Artemis's face fell. Kill box? Holly shot Butler a withering glance. Nicely put, big guy. Artemis's family lives in that kill box."
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Eoin Colfer |
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a68f43c
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You're not a lawyer, are you?' asked the nurse suspiciously. 'One of those geniuses who gets a degree while they're still in nappies?' Artemis sighed. 'A genius, yes. A lawyer, hardly. I am, mademoiselle, a customer.' And suddenly the nurse was all charm. 'Oh, a customer! Why didn't you say so? I'll show you right in. Would sir care for tea, coffee or perhaps something stronger?' 'I am thirteen years old, mademoiselle.' 'A juice?' 'Tea woul..
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witty-comebacks
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Eoin Colfer |
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7f4b569
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The Brill brothers fled to the cockpit, trying to simultaneously bow, look at their feet, not think anything dangerous, and above all, not pass wind.
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Eoin Colfer |
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97fd429
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If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
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Eoin Colfer |
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196c025
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No self-respecting criminal mastermind would be caught dead even using the word lollipops. He really would have to put together a database of witty responses for occasions such as this. It
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Eoin Colfer |
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b73d6e9
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which was a bit like a mouse chasing a cat, a giant mutant cat with laser eyes and a bellyful of smaller spiteful cats.
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Eoin Colfer |
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3531537
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Artemis put his decaf cappuccino down gently, so as not to rattle the saucer. "We're at the Nice Library trying to dig up anything on this Minerva person. Perhaps we can find out if she has a villa near here." "Glad to hear it," said Holly. "I had visions of you two drinking tea at the beach while I sweat it out here." Twenty yards from where Artemis was sitting, waves swirled along the beach like emerald paint poured from a bucket. "Tea? A..
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Eoin Colfer |
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9bdc2f6
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Scopes were sending high-res shots
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Eoin Colfer |
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11cbdcb
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Holly wanted to be sure she understood what was being said. "So you're saying that Shelly is going to light a fart?" "No, Shelly is going to light the fart. He has stored enough methane to power Haven for a year. There hasn't been a fart like this since the last dwarf tribal gathering."
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Eoin Colfer |
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2c76f44
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It was a woefully inadequate response, and Artemis was instantly appalled with himself. Pathetic really: I don't like lollipops. No self-respecting criminal mastermind would be caught dead even using the word lollipops. He really would have to put together a database of witty responses for occasions such as this.
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Eoin Colfer |
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14b89e5
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Just two short guys home for the holidays.' Loafers bristled. 'What do you mean two short guys?' Carla snapped the compact shut. 'Who are you talking to, McGuire? Because you couldn't be talking to me. Not in that tone.' Loafers paled, his life flashing before him. 'I'm sorry, Miss Frazetti. It's just the short thing. I've been listening to it my whole life.' 'What do you want people to call you? Lofty? You're short, Loafers. Get over it. T..
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suck-it-up
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Eoin Colfer |
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55fec37
|
The officer holstered his weapon, drawing out a set of cuffs.
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Eoin Colfer |
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6e4d544
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Calm, Butler told himself. Passion is the enemy of efficiency.
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Eoin Colfer |
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c67ec74
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screens. "You'll be off any second. Remember, try not to touch anything you don't have to. Don't talk to anyone. Don't contact me in the past. I have no desire not to exist." Artemis nodded. "I know. Make as little impact as possible, in case the time paradox theory has some merit." Holly was impatient to get going. "Enough science. Just blast us into the past. We'll bring the monkey back." "Lemur," said Artemis and Foaly together. No1 clos..
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Eoin Colfer |
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024b391
|
But calling up magic when there were arrows flying and chunks of the countryside disappearing was about as easy as going to the toilet on command with a dozen people watching. Who all hated you.
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Eoin Colfer |
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1e4e49d
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She supposed this irritating bickering was how the males of every species showed affection.
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Eoin Colfer |
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ecb8a3d
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She cast her eyes toward the heavens. "Help," she cried. And it began to rain diamonds."
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Eoin Colfer |
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cc2a8b3
|
Now, my little leech, do your nasty work for Aunt Opal, and I will reward you by squeezing your innards into a bucket." He sighed. "Why are all my best lines wasted on annelids?"
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Eoin Colfer |
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366569a
|
Holly. In the name of all the gods, stop shooting energy into all-energy beings. Just how stupid are you? The bots quivered and meshed, growing larger and more aggressive.
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Eoin Colfer |
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027cf17
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The female guard smiled broadly then collapsed. On the ground she began singing a nursery rhyme about doggies and their bones.
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Eoin Colfer |
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d601a34
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The amorphobots had entered the ambulance through the air lock and morphed into one in the ambulance's only cell. Actually, the bot holding Mulch Diggums was excluded from the morph, as the other bots could not identify the chemical spectrum of the gas bubbles inside the dwarf's body, and did not frankly like the look of Mulch anyway, and so, though it tried to meld with the others, the bot was repulsed and wobbled lonely in the corner.
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Eoin Colfer |
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92574f3
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Sie haben diesen Mistkerl genau da erwischt, wo es wehtut: bei seinem Ehrgeiz.
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Eoin Colfer |
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a3da1ec
|
Artemis and Holly stood there in their underwear, gingerly locking fingers. They had crossed space and time together, weathered rebellions, and tangled with demented despots. Coughed blood, lost digits, inhaled dwarf fumes, and swapped eyeballs, yet they found holding hands awkward. No1 knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't resist a parting crack. "I now pronounce you . . ."
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Eoin Colfer |
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87c2bff
|
The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud People seemed more concerned about the past than the present.
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Eoin Colfer |
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e8dd182
|
It was funny how quickly a person's priorities could change. This morning he had been worried about which loafers to wear with his suit, and now all he could think about was the fact that his dearest friend's life hung in the balance, And the balance was rapidly shifting.
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Eoin Colfer |
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bc2bb14
|
Artemis was wearing a pair of red Armani boxer shorts, which were pretty much the same color as his face.
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Eoin Colfer |
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51aa9a4
|
I have lived long enough to realize that there is no such thing as perfect love. That's too long.
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Eoin Colfer |
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d528692
|
Confidence is ignorance," advised the centaur. "If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."
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Eoin Colfer |
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74aa73e
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And was his conscience not needling him, leeching some of the sweetness from his victory?
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Eoin Colfer |
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07ebacb
|
Wenn ich gewinne, wird man sagen, ich sei ein Genie, wenn ich verliere, wird es heissen, ich sei ubergeschnappt. So wird Geschichte geschrieben.
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geschichte
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Eoin Colfer |
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09dc99d
|
I know what you're thinking," said Root. "Why am I picking on you every day? Why don't I ever bawl out those other layabouts?" Holly said nothing, but agreement was written all over the face. "I'll tell you why, shall I? Holly risked a nod. "It's because you're a girl." Holly felt her fingers curl into fists. She knew it!"
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funny
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Eoin Colfer |
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add5aa8
|
The universe has certain rules. Among them are: And: And most applicable in this case: The first rule could be, at a stretch, applied to Tony Stark and the Iron Man suit, considering recent events. One notable exception to the second rule was currently swinging around New York City on a spider web, which did not bear thinking about.
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humor
iron-man
spiderman
rules
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Eoin Colfer |
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5f20c78
|
Doubts assuaged, Butler returned to his copy of Guns and Ammo, leaving his employer to unravel the secrets of the universe.
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Eoin Colfer |
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bdb729a
|
M...maybe,' I stutter. 'Whatever the reason, this woman has problems. We need to be compassionate, show understanding.' 'Or slice her head off. I have plastic bags.' Sure. We could toss her in the car beside her partner, then drive to the mall where I dumped Macey and line up all three bodies together in the Lexus. Hell, why not steal Connie's corpse from the morgue to complete the set?
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Eoin Colfer |
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26b6784
|
Now, Master Fowl, let's talk, shall we?
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Eoin Colfer |
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9aebd9d
|
Saints are not allowed to lie, not even to demons.
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Eoin Colfer |
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21ade40
|
Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down?
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heaven
down
up
devil
hell
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Eoin Colfer |
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a6d4174
|
Today he became a killer, or else a corpse.
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murder
death
killer
|
Eoin Colfer |
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11f06e1
|
hardur madur.
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Eoin Colfer |