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569ffb1
|
Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other."
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|
atlantis
birthmarks
complex
foaly
humor
orion
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
cf07750
|
I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
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|
humor
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
6d0cce7
|
Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
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2801948
|
No, I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name.
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Eoin Colfer |
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390eb26
|
I feel a little dizzy," said Orion. "But also wonderfully elated. I feel that I am on the verge of finding a rhyme for the word ." "Oxygen deprivation," said Foaly. "Or maybe it's just him."
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orange
orion
rhyme
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
4ca81af
|
If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.
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opal
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
0b6bfbb
|
I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
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humour
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
e6c26f9
|
Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre." Myles: "In Paris." Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?" Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?" Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
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972090f
|
How do I love thee? wondered Orion. "Let me see. I love thee passionately and eternally...obviously eternally-that goes without saying." Holly blinked sweat from her eyes. "Is he serious?" she called over her shoulder to Foaly. "Oh, absolutely," said the centaur "If he asks you to look for birthmarks, say no immediately." "Oh, I would never." Orion assured her. "Ladies don't look for birthmarks; that is work for jolly fellows like the Goodl..
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|
foaly
holly
orion
romance
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
1c8221d
|
Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut." Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell. "I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said."
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|
humor
nut
squid
|
Eoin Colfer |
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87a84c2
|
So, what did you get for me?" Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans." "What?" croaked Artemis. "And a T-shirt."
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artemis-fowl
jeans
t-shirt
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
5f51a0b
|
Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and u..
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|
eoin-colfer
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
204fb6a
|
Thankfully the rest of the world assumed that the Irish were crazy, a theory that the Irish themselves did nothing to debunk. They had somehow got it into their heads that each fairy lugged around a pot of gold with him wherever he went. While it was true that LEP had a ransom fund, because of its officers' high-risk occupation, no human had ever taken a chunk of it yet. This didn't stop the Irish population in general from skulking around ..
|
|
irish
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
2a4b8e1
|
Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
9bdab8b
|
I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command.
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
d4b40fb
|
Very well, I promise. So, what did you get for me?" Angeline paused for a beat. "Jeans." "What?" croaked Artemis. "And a T-shirt" ...Artemis took several breaths. "Does the T-shirt have any writing on it?" A rustling of paper crackled through the phone's speakers. "Yes, it's so cool. There's a picture of a boy who for some reason has no neck and only three fingers on each hand, and behind him in this sort of graffiti style is the words RAND..
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|
atlantis-complex
jeans
randomosity
t-shirt
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
353a190
|
Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
e6f892e
|
Relax, Mr. Diggums. Have another nettle beer, or some spring water." The commander took two bottles from the cooler and offered one to Mulch. Mulch studied the label. "Derrier? No thanks. You know how they put the bubbles in this stuff?" Vinyaya's mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. "I thought it was naturally carbonated." "Yeah, that's what I thought until I got a prison job at the Derrier plant. They employ every dwarf in the Dee..
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
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14d89d8
|
You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it. This was enough to elicit a deafening mome..
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|
flirting
humor
love
orion
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
1fca7cc
|
Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
73677a3
|
It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon. Opal tapped this into her notepad. Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
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|
fun
humor
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
ee17c6e
|
Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes." "That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly. "Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls."
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
b3f2941
|
My bugs don't have bugs.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
f5f8700
|
A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit?
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
9d2b740
|
I want you to know, my dear friend, that without you, I would not be the person I am today." He leaned in close and whispered, "I was a broken boy, and you fixed me. Thank you."
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
2b1dfcc
|
Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles." Holly opened the throttle. "Now there's an order I never thought I'd hear from you."
|
|
bubbles
holly
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
4e4aaff
|
When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
85bd57d
|
Artemis simple-toon
|
|
myles
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
4027eb0
|
That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
fe27138
|
Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
8f61357
|
Butler snapped his fingers. "Focus, Artemis! Time enough for your Atlantis Complex later. We have the Atlantis outside that door and six miles of water above it. If you want to stay alive, you need to stay alert." He turned to Holly. "This is ridiculous. I'm pulling the plug." Holly's mouth was a tight line as she shook her head. "Navy rules, Butler. You're on my boat, you follow my orders." "As I remember, I brought the boat." "Yes, than..
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|
boat
butler
holly
orders
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
49e0a56
|
Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.
|
|
eoin-colfer
friendship
holly-short
inspirational
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
1bab43c
|
how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant. Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.
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|
descant
fowl
mervall
paradox
time
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
2966032
|
Remember this? You gave it to me for ensuring your trigger finger got reattached to your hand. You said it would remind me of that spark of decency inside me. I'm trying to do something decent now, Captain.
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|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
d805379
|
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
66a4ad1
|
Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
5dea47e
|
Orion sniffed. "Good. Then, worthy centaur, perhaps you could give me a ride to the village on your way back. Then I can make a few pennies wth my verses while you build us a shack and perform circus tricks for passersby." This was such a surprising statement that Foaly briefly considered jumping into the hole to get away."
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
262d355
|
A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
|
|
optimism
perception
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
4b0fbf8
|
Maybe I owe you something too, human," she said, drawing her pistol. Butler almost reacted, but decided to give Holly the benefit of the doubt. Captain Short plucked a gold coin from her belt, flicking it fifty feet into the moonlit sky. With one fluid movement, she brought her weapon up and loosed a single blast. The coin rose another fifty feet, then spun earthward. Artemis somehow managed to snatch it from the air. The first cool moveme..
|
|
decency
holly-short
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
e84790c
|
So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?" The boy extended a dripping hand straight up. "My name is Orion. I am so pleased to meet you at last. I am, of course, your servant." Holly shook the proferred hand, thinking that manners were lovely, but she really needed someone cunning and ruthless right now, and this kid didn't appear to be very cunning."
|
|
holly-short
orion
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
0b72d82
|
He threw his head back and sang, "'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you to wax, Artemis" "Foaly is singing," said Holly. "Surely that's illegal?"
|
|
holly
illegal
singing
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
870b411
|
And I will not be beaten by that jackass." "Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass."
|
|
foaly
jackass
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
72177c3
|
And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |
|
623b441
|
Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. "Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?"
|
|
|
Eoin Colfer |