|
212a44a
|
You could have nothing with a teenage daughter in the house, not mascara, not ankle boots, not breadknives, not sedatives; they took everything, selfish little bitches!
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
767c5d5
|
They were very, very kind to each other and, in my discombobulated state, this was soothing.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
9dfb05e
|
Anton and I went to see her in her office in Soho. It was less than a fortnight before I gave birth to Ema so getting me there was a huge undertaking, like crating and transporting a sick elephant.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
8df1d26
|
It never rains but it damn well pours and I was afraid I'd be washed away in the deluge.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
71a55de
|
I've brought sandwiches." He indicated a brown paper bag. "Let's play a game." Startled, we looked each other in the eye. We both swallowed hard. I cleared my throat and asked, "What's the game?" "If I've managed to bring your favorite sandwich, you meet me again tomorrow." "I like cheese," I said cautiously. I was afraid of him producing turkey and cranberry, my most hated. "What kind of cheese?" he asked. "Any kind." "Go on. Be specific."..
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
aed0f39
|
I had thought the only person Neil loved was himself. That he probably shouted his own name when he was coming.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
1d36225
|
She liked to pretend that she liked everyone, in the hope that it might help her jump the line into Heaven.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
25a7802
|
I wanted to show her how disgusted I was by not eating a thing, but a chocolate cookie is a chocolate cookie.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
8281d18
|
And Marrakech, a place that Himself had particularly loved, transpired to be not so wonderful for me because - in one of those unfortunate oversights - I didn't have a penis. They're not so keen on women in Marrakech. To put it mildly. But that's a different story.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
13efb81
|
She had once tried to copy Jojo's sexy wink - drink had been taken - but she had simply succeeded in dislodging her contact lens which had made her eyelid flutter like a trapped butterfly.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
7149b67
|
Mum insists on calling Sat Nav "the Talking Map," like she's a medieval peasant who believes in witchcraft."
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
fd840e6
|
Wasn't this the man who had made hot-water bottles for me every month when I got my period,
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
b32eeab
|
Of course I'll respect you in the morning,' she reassured. 'I might disparage you a bit in the afternoon, mind,' she added. 'But I can guarantee my undivided respect in the morning.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
a2005e3
|
I click to buy it and I'm furious to discover that it's not available in Ireland and they won't post it from abroad and the only place that sells it is Harrods and it's impossible for me to go to Harrods because it's like being trapped in an Escher painting.
|
|
humour
make-up
ireland
shopping
trapped
london
|
Marian Keyes |
|
e14fb45
|
What is so wrong with us that we rush into situations to which we are manifestly unsuited, which will hurt us and others? Why are we given emotions which we cannot control and which move in exact contradiction to what we really want? We are walking conflicts, internal battles on legs and if human beings were cars, we would return them for being faulty.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
82c8e95
|
they thought that there was no such thing as Depression, other than a vague, neurotic concept. That it was just an updated version of 'suffering from her nerves' which everyone knows translates as 'she feels sorry for herself for no good reason.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
bd88072
|
mind her when I'm away?' I stayed overnight in
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
0a01fd4
|
time I'll
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
b925d0c
|
However, my sense of hospitality decreases in direct proportion to the number of glasses of wine that I've had, so by dessert and coffee time I am usually far too relaxed (all right then, far too drunk, if you will insist on calling a spade a spade) and no longer feel any need to clear the table.
|
|
wine
|
Marian Keyes |
|
0777d3e
|
The thing about personal growth, I've discovered, is that you rarely get any choice in it. It only ever happens as a side-effect of some loss or trauma.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
18ebf56
|
Creating a healthy relationship is like creating a small, land-locked country. The borders are always under threat and every day you have to shore them up. So when something in the country implodes, the shockwaves move outwards and the borders push back until eventually the crisis subsides ...
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
38d43b0
|
As always she was kitted out in the pristine pastels of baby clothes and her little plimsolls were so white my eyes ached. To look directly at them one would need a piece of cardboard with a hole in it, of the type used for viewing a solar eclipse.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
c40ca09
|
He'd refused to sack Honey Monster Shauna after she'd mistakenly included an extra zero in Gaelic Knitting and people ended up knitting christening shawls that were seventeen feet long instead of three.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |
|
34863cc
|
At all times a heavy ceramic casserole would sit on a pale blue Aga, so should people drop in unexpectedly, I could wander out in my bare feet, welcome them warmly, give them dinner, then press my home-made elderberry wine on them. I would be like Nigella Lawson.
|
|
|
Marian Keyes |