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a218d57
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Ifemelu opened her novel, Jean Toomer's Cane, and skimmed a few pages. She had been meaning to read it for a while now, and imagined she would like it since Blaine did not. A precious performance, Blaine had called it, in that gently forbearing tone he used when they talked about novels, as though he was sure that she, with a little more time and a little more wisdom, would come to accept that the novels he liked were superior, novels writt..
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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1e30b7a
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Teach her to stand up for what is hers. If another child takes her toy without her permission, ask her to take it back, because her consent is important. Tell her that if anything ever makes her uncomfortable, to speak up, to say it, to shout.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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f58a2b7
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If she sees you reading, she will understand that reading is valuable.
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feminist
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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e3a10e5
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Her bladder felt painfully, solidly full, as though it would burst and release not urine but the garbled prayers she was muttering.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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97248c2
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I am angry. We should all be angry. Anger has a long history of bringing about positive change. In addition to anger, I am also hopeful, because I believe deeply in the ability of human beings to remake themselves for the better.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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4ae1332
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Things started to fall apart at home when my brother, Jaja, did not go to communion and Papa flung his heavy missal across the room and broke the figurines on the etagere.(Opening page, 3)
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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8d308c8
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His was the coiled, urgent restlessness of a person who believed that fate had mistakenly allotted him a place below his true destiny.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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ec2d50f
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What if the parents, from the beginning, taught both children to cook Indomie? Cooking, by the way, is a useful and practical life skill for a boy to have--I've never thought it made much sense to leave such a crucial thing--the ability to nourish oneself --in the hands of others.
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feminism
gender-roles
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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08ce14f
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The language of marriage is often a language of ownership, not a language of partnership. We
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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7f8918b
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Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl. 'Because you are a girl' is never a reason for anything. Ever.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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8914975
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that people walk different paths in the world, and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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946dfb2
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White writers can be blunt about race and get all activist because their anger isn't threatening
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white-privilege
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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2b10e89
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He used to make me feel that nothing I said was witty enough or sarcastic enough or smart enough. He was always struggling to be different, even when it didn't matter. It was as if he was performing his life instead of living his life.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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b10b8b0
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Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men because its our culture. But culture is constantly changing...culture does not make people, people makes culture.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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a239d67
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that absurd idea of "men will be men," which means having a much lower standard for men. I"
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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7f886bc
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Many girls spend too much time trying to be "nice" to people who do them harm. Many girls think of the "feelings" of those who are hurting them. This is the catastrophic consequence of likeability. We have a world full of women who are unable to exhale fully because they have for so long been conditioned to fold themselves into shapes to make themselves likeable."
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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19d892a
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I thought then of catechism classes, about chanting the answer to a question, an answer that was "because he has said it and his word is true." I could not remember the question."
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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d80e1a1
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We teach females, that in relationships, 'compromise' is what women do. We raise girls to see each other as competitors, not for jobs, or for accomplishments -- which I think can be a good thing -- but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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bb9a41b
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So I decided I would now be a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men. At some point I was a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not For Men. Of
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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4791db4
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The only reason you say that race was not an issue is because you wish it was not. We all wish is was not. But it's a lie. I came from a country where race was not an issue; I did not think myself as black and I only became black when I came to America. When you are black in America and you fall in love with a white person, race doesn't matter when you're alone together because it's just you and your love. But the minute you step outside, r..
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interracialdating
yas
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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eef5873
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but what struck me was that whenever he changed the baby's diaper, she said thank you to him.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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473eed0
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Some people ask, 'Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?' Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general - but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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ad27bd3
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You can't even read American fiction to get a sense of how actual life is lived these days. You read American fiction to learn about dysfunctional white folk doing things that are weird to normal white folks.
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modern-fiction
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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5e0227f
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All over the world, there are so many magazine articles and books telling women what to do, how to be and not to be, in order to attract or please these men. There are far fewer guides for men about pleasing women.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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99cf804
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Laura picked up the menu again. "In graduate school I knew a woman from Africa who was just like this doctor, I think she was from Uganda. She was wonderful, and she didn't get along with the African-American woman in our class at all. She didn't have all those issues." "Maybe when the African American's father was not allowed to vote because he was black, the Ugandan's father was running for parliament or studying at Oxford," Ifemelu said...
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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4059670
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In every culture in the world, female sexuality is about shame. Even cultures that expect women to be sexy-like many in the West-still do not expect them to be sexual.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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ab05e58
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I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity. And I want to be respected in all my femaleness. Because I deserve to be. I like politics and history and am happiest when having a good argument about ideas. I am girly. I am happily girly. I like high heels and trying on lipsticks. It's nice to be complimented by both men and women (although I have to be honest and say that I prefer the compliments of stylish women), but I often ..
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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4a739be
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We condition girls to aspire to marriage and we do not condition boys to aspire to marriage, and so there is already a terrible imbalance at the start. The girls will grow up to be women preoccupied with marriage. The boys will grow up to be men who are not preoccupied with marriage. The women marry those men. The relationship is automatically uneven because the institution matters more to one than the other. Is it any wonder that, in so ma..
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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8cd266e
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Because I am female, I'm expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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29e547f
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We also need to question the idea of marriage as a prize to women, because that is the basis of these absurd debates. If we stopped conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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707aaa6
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There must be more than male benevolence as the basis for a woman's well-being.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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440fe14
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Of course I am angry. I am angry about racism. I am angry about sexism. But I recently came to the realization that I am angrier about sexism than I am about racism. Because in my anger about sexism, I often feel lonely. Because I love, and live among, many people who easily acknowledge race injustice but not gender injustice.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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5f7524c
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Look at you. You're the kindest person I know. Look how beautiful you are. Why do you need so much outside of yourself? Why isn't what you are enough?
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self-confidence
self-esteem
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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bc23f4c
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I prefer Ms. because it is similar to Mr. A man is Mr. whether married or not, a woman is Ms. whether married or not. So please teach Chizalum that in a truly just society, women should not be expected to make marriage-based changes that men are not expected to make. Here's a nifty solution: Each couple that marries should take on an entirely new surname, chosen however they want as long as both agree to it, so that a day after the wedding,..
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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d50d944
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Let her know that there are many individuals and many cultures that do not find the narrow mainstream definition of beauty attractive.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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67e1d91
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Her first love, her first lover, the only person with whom she had never felt the need to explain herself.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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6710fb5
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l'Tfl l`ur@ yDHkwn, k'nm lrjl ln yltqT lSwr@ thm b`d dhlk ytrkhm wHdhm lmSyrhm
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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47c5814
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Do it together. Remember in primary school we learned that a verb is a 'doing' word? Well, a father is as much a verb as a mother.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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bd1ce84
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He said "see" as if it meant something more than what one did with one's eyes."
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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e2cb80d
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It seemed so natural, to talk to him about the odd things. She had never done that before. The trust, so sudden and yet so complete, and the intimacy, frightened her.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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eaf4cda
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Perhaps he was not a true writer after all. He had read somewhere that, for true writers, nothing was more important than their art, not even love.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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d36e662
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Afterwards they would return to America to fight on the Internet over their mythologies of home, because home was now a blurred place between here and there, and at least online they could ignore the awareness of how inconsequential they had become.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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39f08c6
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You gave him what he wanted," Curt said. The planes of his face were hardening. It was an odd thing for Curt to say, the sort of thing Aunty Uju, who thought of sex as something a woman gave a man at a loss to herself, would say. In a sudden giddy fit of recklessness, she corrected Curt. "I took what I wanted. If I gave him anything, then it was incidental."
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |
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f39f09a
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Those plates, with their amateur finishing, the slight lumpiness of the edges, would never be shown in the presence of guests in Nigeria. He still was not sure whether Emenike had become a person who believed that something was beautiful because it was handmade by poor people in a foreign country, or whether he had simply learned to pretend so.
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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie |